When to admit defeat and rehome your horse? Just cant cope any

[Holding]

I would think seriously about having her euthanaised if you feel you've exhausted other options.

Can we just establish the fact that this horse hasn't even seen the vet yet? What kind of vet in their right mind would agree to put down a horse because it was sometimes difficult to ride, with no further investigations?

I'm so sorry that you are having trouble OP, and I wish you all the best in the future and with your next horse. But right now you already own a horse, and your priority is to do right by her. It might well be throwing good money after bad, but you made the commitment, and you are responsible for her. I can't believe anyone would advocate putting to sleep a healthy horse because of behavioural issues (which don't seem insurmountable - have you actually even fallen off yet?) when you haven't even tried to investigate the cause. I have personally known a number of horses who were written off as difficult/dangerous, until they were found to have serious physical problems. Maybe the end result will be the same, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try. She isn't a defective toy; she's a living, breathing animal and she is your responsibility.

 

[Jesstickle]

Can we just establish the fact that this horse hasn't even seen the vet yet? What kind of vet in their right mind would agree to put down a horse because it was sometimes difficult to ride, with no further investigations?

.

which vet wouldn't if the option is that the horse is passed from pillar to post with no one taking responsibility for it and it ending up in worse and worse situations?!

If the vet won't do it the slaughter man or the hunt will. Because ultimately sometimes things can not be resolved or worked through due to time or finances or human constraints and there are many things worse than a bullet for a horse to endure. People's well being is more important.

 

[Lolabay]

Why dont you at least try and

1.Get a vet to throughly check her over (also a chiropractor) and rule out any pain issues

2.At least try and move her to another yard with a school and experienced people around to give a helping hand

3.Have lessons on her,once you have moved her and have the use of a school.

4.Dont give up on her until you have at least tried those options. We had a lot of problems with our first horse,and I felt the same as you,it was only when i had a chiropractor out and discovered how bad her back was,that was causing her issues,even now she can be a typical moody awful mare,but thats just her.

Good Luck xxx

 

[throughtheforest]

Hi there, I emphasize with your situation, although 6 months is an awfully short amount of time to allow for a horse to settle in completely. Others may disagree with me here, but every horse is different and to adapt to a new home, new management and a new owner is a huge change and will be extremely unsettling to her.
What I am about to recommend has always worked for me in the past and I am currently doing this now. First off, stop riding her and don't have anyone else ride her either. As you are concerned about your safety this has to be the first and most important step. If you aren't progressing in the saddle, you never will until you start on the ground first. If you have thoroughly had her checked over for any physical discomfort then that can be ruled out, if not, then anything you will try, will be in vain, as long as the pain remains so does the behavioural problem/s. Now we can think about progress. Start bonding with her first, these foundations actually eliminate problems in the saddle given time to perfect them. Start by grooming, get her in, take her for a walk, do in-hand work, she must back up, turn away and to you, with no resistance. Lunging/ long-reining. Can you touch EVERY part of her without some sort of negative reaction? You are more than welcome to PM me any actual exercises to try. Only when you have mastered the foundations can you think about riding but these are solid foundations and you should find this such a hugely solid base to then go on and develop your riding. The idea is to get the horse thinking about you and what you will ask them to do, rather than avoiding what you are telling them to do.

Hope this helps.

Amy

p.s- I apologise if anything mentioned has already been tried, and has already been highlighted as not working I haven't completely read every post.

 

[AdorableAlice]

Hi there, I emphasize with your situation, although 6 months is an awfully short amount of time to allow for a horse to settle in completely. Others may disagree with me here, but every horse is different and to adapt to a new home, new management and a new owner is a huge change and will be extremely unsettling to her.
What I am about to recommend has always worked for me in the past and I am currently doing this now. First off, stop riding her and don't have anyone else ride her either. As you are concerned about your safety this has to be the first and most important step. If you aren't progressing in the saddle, you never will until you start on the ground first. If you have thoroughly had her checked over for any physical discomfort then that can be ruled out, if not, then anything you will try, will be in vain, as long as the pain remains so does the behavioural problem/s. Now we can think about progress. Start bonding with her first, these foundations actually eliminate problems in the saddle given time to perfect them. Start by grooming, get her in, take her for a walk, do in-hand work, she must back up, turn away and to you, with no resistance. Lunging/ long-reining. Can you touch EVERY part of her without some sort of negative reaction? You are more than welcome to PM me any actual exercises to try. Only when you have mastered the foundations can you think about riding but these are solid foundations and you should find this such a hugely solid base to then go on and develop your riding. The idea is to get the horse thinking about you and what you will ask them to do, rather than avoiding what you are telling them to do.

Hope this helps.

Amy

p.s- I apologise if anything mentioned has already been tried, and has already been highlighted as not working I haven't completely read every post.

That is a lovely post but the work you detail is work that should have been done as a young horse. The Op is a novice owner who thought she had bought an established quiet hack. The horse in question is a haflinger, stubborn, opinionated rude bargy creatures and not suitable for novices. All the OP wants to do is enjoy her horse, not re break it or spend time worrying when she is going to get hurt.

 

[throughtheforest]

AA- I understand the work I detailed is preliminary for youngsters, but this will work again for severe behavioural ridden problems should waki jaki want to try and overcome these. It will work for bargy disrespectful haflingers too, if done correctly, although wj may want to ask for assistance. There is no shame in re-training/ re-breaking in these circumstances and by the end of it you could find yourself being a better horseman, complete with a horse that you have such a bond with that you have full and complete confidence in them.
Obviously if you do not want to or can't persevere then this is not the right path to go down, but I always say give the horse a real chance to improve, especially with the possibility of horse being pushed from pillar to post due to no one else having a go either. That's just my 2 cents worth anyway

 

[AdorableAlice]

AA- I understand the work I detailed is preliminary for youngsters, but this will work again for severe behavioural ridden problems should waki jaki want to try and overcome these. It will work for bargy disrespectful haflingers too, if done correctly, although wj may want to ask for assistance. There is no shame in re-training/ re-breaking in these circumstances and by the end of it you could find yourself being a better horseman, complete with a horse that you have such a bond with that you have full and complete confidence in them.
Obviously if you do not want to or can't persevere then this is not the right path to go down, but I always say give the horse a real chance to improve, especially with the possibility of horse being pushed from pillar to post due to no one else having a go either. That's just my 2 cents worth anyway

I do agree with you, but I feel very sorry for the OP, it was a poor purchase for the needs required and has shattered confidence. Buyer beware yet again.

 

[Tobiano]

I feel for you Wakijaki. I have sold on a horse when I found i was dreading going to ride him, but he wasnt as difficult as your mare. I think in your situation I would do the following:
1. Get a vet out, preferably one who is also a chiropractor, and have them give her a full examination.
2. Depending on the results of the above, if there still is no physical cause, advertise as a project horse for a very low amount of money; if there is a cause and you feel you can have it treated it do that and then advertise her; if there is a cause and it cannot be treated within your means then have her PTS.
3. See if the vet can advise you on any recourse to the seller.
Sorry that is all a bit grim but IMO you have had a good go at sorting things out with her and it sounds as though you have got to a point where you need loads of confidence with her but every interaction reduces yours. You have been unlucky but there is a horse out there for you if you get someone experienced that you trust to help you find it. Good luck. x

 

[charlie76]

Sounds like a typical ex school horse. Op .. Where are you?

 

[webble]

which vet wouldn't if the option is that the horse is passed from pillar to post with no one taking responsibility for it and it ending up in worse and worse situations?!

Agreed but if no one has ever bothered to get her checked over it could be something really simple and easy to resolve

 

[olivia x]

Agreed-- it is probably worth your while to get things checked out. A simple adjustment on something could solve the problems-- horses cannot talk but they use the whole of their bodies to communicate to us. Your horse is trying to tell you SOMETHING. I had a mare that right after purchase started getting quick over jumps, nearly bolting on landing. A visit with a saddle fitter and a properly fitting saddle solved that and then she was good as gold. I had a big warmblood x gelding that became very aggressive after a move to a new yard-- he started striking and biting even during grooming-- wouldn't stand at the mounting block, then started to half-rear-- I had had him for several months before this without the problems but the move unsettled him apparently. Working with a trainer, sorting the horse out on the ground before working on mounted issues, and then working on mounted issues-- took care of it. About 3 training sessions- this was an exceptional trainer, an old-timey cowboy using what some might call Horse Whisperer methods-- nothing magical, he just knew horses inside and out-- voila, the horse and I never looked back-- I had the most amazing bond with that horse after that and no more problems with him. Ever.

Bad horse behaviour can be frustrating and even scary-- but sometimes what is needed to address it is very simple and no where as complicated as you might think.

 

[RhossT]

But right now you already own a horse, and your priority is to do right by her.

No, priority is to do right by a human being. OP is unhappy and scared, possibly in danger of being injured. She needs to think what is right for her. She may also, from the sound of her post, not be financially able to spend a lot of money on an animal which, at the end of it, may need to be PTS. Cut your losses and PTS

 

[olivia x]

In the end, PTS may need to be the solution-- but it seems so drastic and unfortunate when there might be other things that could solve this happily for both horse and owner. I DO sympathise with this situation, having been there with my warmblood x. Is there a trainer that can come to the yard to work with the horse? Can the owner move the horse to a yard where there is a trainer who can work with both the horse and rider? In the right hands, a little bit of work can go a long way. A few sessions with the right trainer could possibly put it all to rights. I have seen that happen again and again with poorly behaved horses.