When to call it a day

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MrRoo

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My old ISH is 25 and I’ve had him 16 years. The past 3 years I’ve struggled with his severe asthma but mostly kept it under control with a nebuliser. He was retired 18 months ago.

Last winter, due to a bad yard he had a really tough time, peritonitis, terrible mudfever and he was so unhappy. Moved him at the end of December, had his gut scanned as I was finding it hard to get weight on him and it’s all thickened and inflamed, any other type of diagnostics required hospital and I wasn’t willing to put him through it. Anyway, he’s steadily put weight on and actually looks good but now I’m fighting a losing battle with his asthma due to the hot weather and very little rain we’ve had.

I’ve had a chat with my vet about when the right time is to let him go. There’s a good chance his asthma will ease up when we get some rain and cooler weather but he’s always been pretty grumpy and difficult to keep weight on during winter and I don’t know if I should put him through it.

My vet thinks it may be the right time but I just can’t get my head round it, I know he’s old and it’ll happen eventually but he’s my best friend. Above all, I don’t want him to suffer or be unhappy so I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance either way.
 
For me it's when the thought of carrying on as you are, watching them decline, is worse than the thought of letting them go. Sorry you are going through this, but you will know I think, even if you put it off for a bit (which is a perfectly fine thing to do, as long as they aren't suffering).
 
Thank you both for your thoughts. It’s been a long time coming as I thought it was time back in April but then he rallied and started packing weight on.

I know we pretty much all have to go through this at some point and it probably sounds a bit pathetic but I can’t imagine life without him. I’ve got a youngster to concentrate on but there’ll never be another one like my old boy.
 
Having been through this a couple of times and having another one that will be in the same position fairly soon, I feel for you.

The hardest thing is making the actual decision which is not only based around their quality of life but yours. The daily stress and worry you go through when you see him drop weight, when you second guess yourself about whether his asthma is stabilising take a toll on you.

No answer for you but if his quality of life is deteriorating, even marginally - it’s time.

Remember, you are one of the kind ones that has kept their friend to the end rather than pass on or sell on. This is part of kindness and care. These are the words my vet used with me years ago when my special horse was in slow decline - and they have served me well in having to make these decisions.
 
My old boy is going on Tuesday- there are a number of reasons but he has just had his first summer ever without lami and no muzzle due to the rubbish growth rates of grass and I can’t ever guarantee that for him again. He’s has more hard feed this summer than he’s had in the last ten years combined and has blown a tendon this spring. He won’t box rest and we risk it going again in the mud- we had to risk paddock rest on a flat field for it this time.

We’re struggling with his weight, bloods suggest something in the gut as he’s not absorbing enough protein and amylase is down too, but worms are clear and he doesn’t do well with vets and travelling for scans. Oh- he failed a neurological test too- he’s always had slightly dodgy hind end and that explains that.

I’ll be honest, I’ve lost two before but the decisions there were immediate and as a result of injuries/illness. This has been the first planned one for me and I’ve known all summer that it’s right, but it’s been absolutely awful planning it all and knowing that right now, he’s happy. I never want him to not be happy, and this guarantees that- but I have a huge amount of guilt that I’m doing it too early.

I’d echo the others- when you think it might be, it usually is, but it’s godawful when it’s your decision and not just advice given to others.

Huge hugs from here. X
 
Sorry but big hugs for reaching this point in your mindset.

Had my chap pts aged 24 after 17yrs of love when he developed an issue in his foot and xrays showed issue with spur catching on ddft in foot. One bute wasn't working at this point (he'd been on half a sachet a day for years) and when two bute didn't appear to make a difference I let him go.

Spent ten days mollycoddled on 3 bute a day before he was pts in the hay field with the hot sun on his back totally oblivious. I owed him that much.
 
I think the hardest part is making the decision and then waiting for it to happen. I wouldn’t prolong that part if you can help it.

With both of my old ones I didn’t realise how much I was constantly stressing and worrying about them. A weight was lifted once it was done but I was still heartbroken.

We are never ready to say goodbye to our old friends and would keep them forever if we could so at some point we need to take our feelings out of it.
If both you and the vet are thinking it may be time then it likely is. Big hugs.
 
Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and for your advice.

You’ve hit the nail on the head, the daily stress for me and constantly second guessing myself is really taking its toll and there’s always the guilt there that he could have another few happy weeks or months and maybe it’s too soon.

I know it’s the right thing, I can’t really put him through another winter.

Hugs to all of you who have, and will be, going through the same thing.
 
The way I decide for any of my animals is when I'm thinking about it every day.

Once I get there, I know it's time.
I had 2 oldies done on the same day last year ( in fact, it'll be a year in a few weeks).

It was absolutely the right decision, they had both struggled the previous winter, and had continued on winter level feeds through the summer, without putting any weight on.

You know in your heart, just take time to listen to it.
 
I know it's not entirely the same, as I've never been fortunate enough to own my own horse.... But my dog, who was 12 and honestly my best friend in life, was pts in Oct. Our friend, who is a retired vet, said it's best to let her go happy, eating and with a wagging tail. It's the last kindness we can do, to thank her for her years of service to us.

It's the same with horses, or any pet..... Better to let them go when they're happy, pain free, eating, and able to get up and down themselves.... Than let them decline and be struggling to do things, and then have to get an emergency apt to have them pts.

Horrific for us owners, but the best for our faithful friends x
 
I don't shy away from pts but before you finally settle on your decision, do you have options in terms of livery yards? Is there a retirement place where he could live out with a warm rug and a big communal barn for instance? Would this set up suit him and improve his asthma? If the answer is no and it's not possible, then you can at least satisfy yourself that you tried everything before you let him go.
 
Slightly different, but I had my dog put down last month. He had an acute illness we could have treated (possibly 50/50 recovery). But he also had two other issues, one stable and one progressive. All would have needed different contra indicated treatment in reality.

When the vet called me to let me know the diagnosis, my initial response was to treat him, although the vet had said we wouldn’t be wrong to let him go. Then I spoke to my husband and decided that this was the time, all his life I feared losing him but when the time came, I didn’t want him to suffer and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it wasn’t the wrong thing.

I think I’m rambling a bit but I think I’m saying, it’s not easy and it will be upsetting but it won’t be wrong.
 
I certainly wouldn't move an elderly horse with health challenges to live on a new yard with horses he doesn't know, to have to find his place in an unfamiliar herd.
I prefer to have my oldies pts at home in familiar surroundings, having spent quality time with old friends before a tasty meal of favourite foods to eat while the deed is done by whichever method is chosen.
 
Yes, I think about it every day and have been for some time.

Honestly, thank you all so much, this thread has given me some clarity and I feel as happy as I can be about the decision now.

Moving him is definitely not an option, he loves his yard and is happy. He wouldnt cope with a change and his needs are too complex to trust someone else with his full daily care.
 
MrRoo said:
My old ISH is 25 and I’ve had him 16 years. The past 3 years I’ve struggled with his severe asthma but mostly kept it under control with a nebuliser. He was retired 18 months ago.

Last winter, due to a bad yard he had a really tough time, peritonitis, terrible mudfever and he was so unhappy. Moved him at the end of December, had his gut scanned as I was finding it hard to get weight on him and it’s all thickened and inflamed, any other type of diagnostics required hospital and I wasn’t willing to put him through it. Anyway, he’s steadily put weight on and actually looks good but now I’m fighting a losing battle with his asthma due to the hot weather and very little rain we’ve had.

I’ve had a chat with my vet about when the right time is to let him go. There’s a good chance his asthma will ease up when we get some rain and cooler weather but he’s always been pretty grumpy and difficult to keep weight on during winter and I don’t know if I should put him through it.

My vet thinks it may be the right time but I just can’t get my head round it, I know he’s old and it’ll happen eventually but he’s my best friend. Above all, I don’t want him to suffer or be unhappy so I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance either way.
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I always let them go on a good day, a day before they suffer indignity of being not being able to do the things a horse should do and without pain. My last was about twenty seven, he had a shoulder injury which was not getting any better. When the fallen stock man came he looked his best, grazing in his paddock in the sun even through when he walked wit a severe limp, he didn't look like an old pony. When they are gone you are both at peace.
 
If your vet is suggesting it then I would say it is time. I feel for you, we have made the decision with 2 oldies in the last 12 months, and it is heartbreaking. They are terribly missed but there is some relief in not worrying about them all the time. They went with their mouths full of polos and carrots and I don't regret the decision, but it still hurts.
 
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