When will I get over it?

Lady La La said:
When will I be able to move on? It's been nearly 3 months since my horse died, but I feel no more 'at terms' with it than the day it happened.

I still have two lovely horses, that I absolutely adore. I thoroughly enjoy riding and competing on little TB and giving my shetland his daily squidge... but I'm still comparing everything they do to Starla. When I ride, I say to myself "Starla would never have done that" and I can't buy something for one of the horses without having to get Starla one too...even though she's dead.
(She now has a lovely stable door sign hanging in the feed shed because I wanted one for the other two)

Am I cracking up?! :rolleyes:

I cant look at pictures of her yet, with out getting teary and I practically obsess over what things would be like if she was still here. I say goodnight to her every evening I leave the yard, and if I catch sight of her picture even in my siggy on here I feel like my hearts gonna break all over again.

I've already vowed never to replace her...but I want to remember her and smile or laugh. Not cry and hate myself every time I see her picture.
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You'll get 'over' her when you allow yourself to do so. Move on but keep her memory with you.
 
I remember I lost my boy only a couple of days after you lost Starla :(

I was going to post something very simular to you as I have been struggling to come to terms with Den more now than ever. I have lots of horrid dreams which all involve abandoning him and was so stressed that I started to get nose bleeds. Can't face looking at pictures and cry at the slightest of things.

A good friend told me that this was the 'guilt' stage of greiving and is something that will ease with time. So bloody hard tho :(

PM me if you want to chat.

xx
 
I totally understand how you feel. I lost my beautiful 18th month old filly 2 weeks ago & I am devasted. The sadness I feel I can't write in words. She was my first homebred & so very special, so very wanted & so very much loved. She knew only kindness for which I am thankful for. The planning to bring her into this world & being there the day she was born, spending every day of her short life with her, I miss her terribly. Her death was so sudden, unexpected, a freak field accident and I cannot get the horrific images out of my head. I can't sleep at night, I just lie there for hours and it's not because I'm not tired, in fact I am mentally & physically exhausted. I have no appetite either, can't really eat a thing. I too have other horses including my filly's dam & another 18 month old filly. You'd think it would be easier having others but my two fillies were stuck together like glue & now seeing just the one, makes it worse, I worry for her & the dam that they are coping ok, I guess they are horses & they cope better than us. I just cannot believe she isn't here anymore. She's on my mind constantly and then for whatever reason I haven't thought about her, when I do, it knocks me for six again. I know the images of that day will fade & then I can think of her life with smiles & not tears. I don't think I'm accepting that she's gone yet, even though I know she's not here, if that makes any sense.
 
It took me a full 2 years to "get over" the first horse I lost - and the second. If I let myself I could still play the videos of their deaths in my mind - first was nearly 40 years ago, second 12. Since then others have left us and more recently I know our vet thinks I'm callous and heartless - but you have to toughen up, accept it and move on, and be happy they are not suffering.

Take time to grieve, don't be ashamed of it. It will get better, I promise. Only people who have lost a horse can understand where you are just now - and we are with you.
 
My cooper died on 28th nov, 2009 and I'm still not over it. i'm better than I was but still miss him. Dont have the same up and go about horses that i used to have. I love spirit, horse is fab, and we have a great bond, but no horse will ever replace cooper. it will get better, but your horse will always have a very special place in your heart. hugs to you!!
 
intouch said:
.Only people who have lost a horse can understand where you are just now - and we are with you.
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This is so true.

Thanks everyone for making me feel like I'm not the only one to be so cut up after losing a horse, and sorry to those of you who are in the same place I am :(
 
this post as been of help to me after reading all your replies but also shed buckets of tears ---all very very sad but i know now that i'm not the only one going through this --i lost a horse 12 months ago and i thought i was going mad as i still cry for him i still have his ashes and can't bare to scatter them in case i move home and i can't take him with me --i still talk to him everynight--people who don't understand have said get on with it nothing you can do but i'm in agony some days still
even though we have others it as been very hard to motivate myself into doing things with them to this day

i blamed myself for his loss and i keep wondering what if ?? did we try hard enough??

it was so sudden with no warning signs everything was normal in himself from giving him his teatime hay to hearing loud banging two hours later he was down in agony and unsafe to try and make the 3 hour journey to the horsepital --what i do know he his now not suffering to what he was that night
 
I lost my mare 11 years ago now I still think about her but I do still get upset but it has got easier I lost my boy 3 yeRs later and although sad could think of him more without getting into a state, though think that's cause my boy pts was peaceful and I could say goodbye to him where my mares was horrendous thanks to the ar@e of a vet and I still get angry beyond belief now when I think of that awful day. It does become easier in time and you won't forget your horse but willthink about the funand not so fun times and it will make you smile.
My mum also played a big part in the horses my dad has just recently passed and just before he did my mum was dreaming of the two of them grazing in the feild, she has not before and not again it may be silly and I don't normally have them views ut I think they came to reassure mum dad would be fine it prob so stupid but it mademe think of the poem rainbow bridge
 
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