When you think you have bought the wrong horse

myprincess

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I had my perfect one in a million gentleman pts last year at 5 years old due to injury, despite behind a thoroughbred he was the safest most trustworthy horse I've ever known I always knew I'd never get another like him when I sadly let him go
I have since bought a 10 year old ex racer, I was told when I got him he's a quirky character but that didn't put me off as he's a dream to ride in the school, beautiful paces, moves nothing like a typical ex racehorse
To cut a long story short I have had him 9 months now and we've had a few hiccups along the way due to his quirks which I expected Anyway when I first got him, the thing is I just cannot click with this horse as much as I want to I can't seem to get a bond with him, he's very cold, bites in the stable and would kick u given half a chance,
When he's in a good mood he's the sweetest guy and I thought given enough time and patience his behaviour may start to improve as he gets to know me and we start to build up a bond but I feel there's a wall between us and maybe we are just not meant to be
I got him off a dealer who would buy him back, this is a reputable dealer in my area who was upfront and honest about his behaviour so I cannot blame them I knew what I was taking on I just can't seem to click with him that is the issue here not his behaviour
It would break my heart to send him back I do have lot of love for this horse I just feel he'll never let me in, I also don't want to go through the rigmorole of finding another
What would you do ?
 

Nicnac

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Scope for ulcers and if clear, sell him. Life's too short to spend it with people/animals you don't like.
 

Cortez

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Do you want a horse or a pet? Sometimes you can have both, but often they don't want to do "bonding" and stuff. I prefer horses to be horses, and have a dog for the soppy stuff.

If you don't like this horse then sell it on and look for a more suitable one, however it is quite hard for a horse dealer to assess the relative "bondability" as opposed to the training/athletic ability that is normally used to evaluate a horse's worth.
 

GirlFriday

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As above. You have what sounds like a perfectly saleable horse who could find a good home (go with private sale or long term loan if you want a little/lot more say in his future).

It may be that you just don't suit or possibly even that no horse would suit you just after your loss. Doesn't matter, it isn't working (assuming physical checks clear).

If you need to feel that bond try a share of something that might be sold/lwvtb next time?
 

skint1

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It might be that you're a mis-match, it might be he's got an undiagnosed issue, it might be an unexpected result of your grief at losing your horse and getting a new one you were not expecting to get. I've experienced this myself, I got my gelding 2 months after losing my perfect mare. He is a bit more lively and foreward but mostly a gent- yet I found I veered between him being my bestest buddy to being unable to trust or communicate with this strange horse. I think trust on both sides takes time to build. If you have a very informal affectionate style and he's not used to it, he might not know how to reciprocate.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 

Equi

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What do you do with the horse? Have you made time to do any actual binding things with him or just groom and ride? You must remember ex racers will be working animals, they won't have had that crazy horse woman fussing over them.
 

stormox

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As long as hes a good ride and you like him when you're on hiis back, does it really matter if hes not a 'cuddles and kisses' person? Horses dont really go around nuzzling each other in the field, a mutual scratch on the withers is enough bonding for them. In fact they are more likely to nip and kick their friends than whicker to them and nuzzle.
Just enjoy your riding on him- long hacks, rides up the woods, this kind of thing and Im sure a bond will come.
 

PorkChop

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You must remember ex racers will be working animals, they won't have had that crazy horse woman fussing over them.

Sorry, don't agree with this statement. The lads and lasses that look after racehorses every day are very attached to them and care very much about them.
 

SEL

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One of mine quite happily spent today snuggling & having sloppy kisses with pretty much everyone who stopped by to say hello - except me. She absolutely knows I'm 'her' human (god forbid I stroke another mare while she's there), but for whatever reason I'm more likely to get yelled at, nipped or ignored by her. She just doesn't see me as the person who provides cuddles! That might be because she was such a horror when I first got her that our initial relationship was based on my saying no a lot. Not all horses like the fluffy stuff and even if this one goes back who's to say the next one will be up for cuddles?
 

southerncomfort

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As long as hes a good ride and you like him when you're on hiis back, does it really matter if hes not a 'cuddles and kisses' person? Horses dont really go around nuzzling each other in the field, a mutual scratch on the withers is enough bonding for them. In fact they are more likely to nip and kick their friends than whicker to them and nuzzle.
Just enjoy your riding on him- long hacks, rides up the woods, this kind of thing and Im sure a bond will come.

I agree with this. If the horse does everything you need him to do riding-wise then does it matter if he's a bit of a grump on the ground?

What if you sold him and got another horse that was lovely and affectionate on the ground but a raving loony to ride? I know which I'd prefer. :)
 

Micropony

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You could be an awful long time looking for perfect, but only you can judge if this horse isn't ticking your boxes and you'd be happier selling and trying again. Is it just in his stable he's grumpy? I've known some horses who regard their stable as 'their space' and prefer to be groomed, tacked up etc. somewhere different. If it were me (which it's not, obv.) I would be prepared to accept it as long as his behaviour wasn't actually dangerous, for example if asking grooms to put on or take off back boots or pick feet out was likely to result in someone getting kicked that would be a problem for me, and I would also want to feel that basic wound care or dealing with mud fever or something wasn't going to lead to being kicked in the head. Some horses are a bit quick to wave a leg about, a very few horses really mean to do damage, iykwim. I get the impression from your post that he's not dangerous, just not very affectionate on the ground? There are worse qualities in a horse in my view, but if that's a deal breaker for you...
 

Zipzop

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I owned a mare for 18 months. Lovely RC type, ticked all the boxes, jumped hacked etc etc.
But in the whole of the 18 months I never really 'liked' her. She was pleasant enough, I am pleasant enough but she was just never for me. That was fine. I sold her to an older chap she adored, they just fitted.
I moved on and got something more suited to me and I've still got the bloody awkward git 11 years later and he isn't normal, in anyway and the mare I sold completely outweighed him in her behaviour and trainability but I'd never want her back over him!
 

AdorableAlice

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Been there, and it took a lot longer than 9 months for my horse to adjust to his new home, owner and routine.

Mine was 10 year old competition horse, kept on a pro yard and as a stallion all his life. He was rarely turned out even after he was gelded, his routine was on the walker, on the lunge, in the school with pro dressage rider on, handed to a groom, bath and solarium, back to stable. This was on a very well know and large dressage/competition yard in Surrey.

I bought him in 2004 and the vet I sent in told me he has never seen such a shut down horse and in his opinion the horse needed a complete change of scene and one to one care. The horse had no issues temperament wise, indeed he was and remains the most polite and gentle horse I have ever known.

I goy him home and into a tiny private yard with two other horses. He went to the back of his much larger than he was used to, stable and just watched me. When I skipped out around him he moved to each corner without being asked. It took two years for him to approach me and I will never forgot the day he put his head against my chest and asked me to cuddle him. Of course being a stallion until he was 9 meant he was handled differently than most geldings would be. There was no doubt he had been brought up properly and he respected people, but he was soul less and empty, absolutely characterless and very demoralising to look after. Yes he was the competition horse I wanted, he got on the lorry and performed well but in the first two years I never knew how he was feeling.

When he finally allowed me into his life was a special moment and 12 years on he is happily retired and I can tell at 100 yards how he is and he worships the ground I walk on. He actually became so attached to me that I could not stand at the ringside when he was competing because he would want to stop by me. I hid behind many a wheelie bin at the big shows !

Some horses take years to change, adapt to new routines and to trust. Somehow I have managed to get two of them, the competition horse being the first and then the bonkers carthorse who has taken 3 1/2 years to relax. My advise to OP would be to give it more time subject to the horse not being dangerous.
 

dixie

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I agree with this. If the horse does everything you need him to do riding-wise then does it matter if he's a bit of a grump on the ground?

What if you sold him and got another horse that was lovely and affectionate on the ground but a raving loony to ride? I know which I'd prefer. :)

This.
Plus I would check him for ulcers, he is displaying signs and if solved could help you with your problems and be your perfect horse.
 

skint1

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Been there, and it took a lot longer than 9 months for my horse to adjust to his new home, owner and routine.

Mine was 10 year old competition horse, kept on a pro yard and as a stallion all his life. He was rarely turned out even after he was gelded, his routine was on the walker, on the lunge, in the school with pro dressage rider on, handed to a groom, bath and solarium, back to stable. This was on a very well know and large dressage/competition yard in Surrey.

I bought him in 2004 and the vet I sent in told me he has never seen such a shut down horse and in his opinion the horse needed a complete change of scene and one to one care. The horse had no issues temperament wise, indeed he was and remains the most polite and gentle horse I have ever known.

I goy him home and into a tiny private yard with two other horses. He went to the back of his much larger than he was used to, stable and just watched me. When I skipped out around him he moved to each corner without being asked. It took two years for him to approach me and I will never forgot the day he put his head against my chest and asked me to cuddle him. Of course being a stallion until he was 9 meant he was handled differently than most geldings would be. There was no doubt he had been brought up properly and he respected people, but he was soul less and empty, absolutely characterless and very demoralising to look after. Yes he was the competition horse I wanted, he got on the lorry and performed well but in the first two years I never knew how he was feeling.

When he finally allowed me into his life was a special moment and 12 years on he is happily retired and I can tell at 100 yards how he is and he worships the ground I walk on. He actually became so attached to me that I could not stand at the ringside when he was competing because he would want to stop by me. I hid behind many a wheelie bin at the big shows !

Some horses take years to change, adapt to new routines and to trust. Somehow I have managed to get two of them, the competition horse being the first and then the bonkers carthorse who has taken 3 1/2 years to relax. My advise to OP would be to give it more time subject to the horse not being dangerous.

That's a beautiful story, so glad you found each other
 

LadySam

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Nine months is nothing. And even though as a working racehorse he may have had grooms who cared for him very much, the relationship won't have been the kind of one-on-one bond you're talking about. What you're expecting is a concept that is quite foreign to him.

You've also set the bar very high for him, unfairly so. You're aware he's not your horse of a lifetime like your last lad, but at the same time you seem to expect him to be at least a little bit like him in terms of how he interacts and bonds with you. Forget that. He's an individual.

You sound like you've got a pretty good horse there, one that does everything you ask of him. I think it would be unwise to move him on while you keep searching for something that is so uncertain. This bond you want (and I've had it too, so I know what you mean) is one of the magic things about horse ownership but it's elusive. It's not to be expected with every horse and if it happens it's a gift.

I'd hang onto him. The click could still happen and if it doesn't, you still have a good horse that does his job well.
 

Zipzop

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I disagree with everyone saying keep him, it might happen, it's not been long enough etc.
My relationship with my horse (and I know this doesn't apply to everyone) is a really important one to me. It's as important as my human relationships. My preferences are that the horse I choose to spend lots of time, energy and money on, be one I like going to see and be around which means for me, how they are on the ground and how they interact with me is hugely important.
It's one of the reasons I generally won't have a mare as I can't stand the moody faces on some of them, the ears back and the grumpiness, (granted they are not all like this but I've seen a fair majority who are). I like the horse to want to be in my company, not kicking me away. But I know others are less fussed about these things - that's fair enough but for me it's a deal breaker.

Liken this to the OP and a new boyfriend, (bear with me on this), if the OP was saying she had been in a relationship for nine months and she didn't really click with the guy, he had a few annoying traits and she wasn't really feeling it, most of us I'm sure would be telling her nine months is a long enough time to see if they are compatible and that she should end it.
I very much feel the same applies for the horse and owner relationship. Nine months is a good chunk of time to have given things a good go.
 

LadySam

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Liken this to the OP and a new boyfriend, (bear with me on this), if the OP was saying she had been in a relationship for nine months and she didn't really click with the guy, he had a few annoying traits and she wasn't really feeling it, most of us I'm sure would be telling her nine months is a long enough time to see if they are compatible and that she should end it.

I see your point, but you can't compare horses to humans like that. For one, the boyfriend in your scenario is, for argument's sake, looking for the same kind of relationship as OP. Nine months is a fair stretch for two people. Not the case with a horse. Not only is the horse not looking for it, he doesn't even know what it is.

Second, with human relationships, if it doesn't work out you break up and move on, hopefully to the next relationship. That one may not work out either so you move on again, maybe again and so on... some people find it, some never do. But at least you don't have to sell and rehome a boyfriend! If you try to do the same with a horse you still may never find that big click, and in the meantime you've cheated yourself out of a good stretch of stable horse ownership, opting instead for endless buying and selling and sucking the fun out of everything this is supposed to be.

It's great when horses really like being with you, and there's work you can do to make that more likely to happen. But although there might be a couple of commonalities, it's really not like finding a boyfriend.
 

AdorableAlice

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I disagree with everyone saying keep him, it might happen, it's not been long enough etc.
My relationship with my horse (and I know this doesn't apply to everyone) is a really important one to me. It's as important as my human relationships. My preferences are that the horse I choose to spend lots of time, energy and money on, be one I like going to see and be around which means for me, how they are on the ground and how they interact with me is hugely important.
It's one of the reasons I generally won't have a mare as I can't stand the moody faces on some of them, the ears back and the grumpiness, (granted they are not all like this but I've seen a fair majority who are). I like the horse to want to be in my company, not kicking me away. But I know others are less fussed about these things - that's fair enough but for me it's a deal breaker.

Liken this to the OP and a new boyfriend, (bear with me on this), if the OP was saying she had been in a relationship for nine months and she didn't really click with the guy, he had a few annoying traits and she wasn't really feeling it, most of us I'm sure would be telling her nine months is a long enough time to see if they are compatible and that she should end it.
I very much feel the same applies for the horse and owner relationship. Nine months is a good chunk of time to have given things a good go.

I am guessing you have never had a wrecked, poorly produced or sensitive horse. The vast majority of horses are straight forward, feed them and treated with respect they will soon enjoy your company, however there are some that are deep, mentally challenged or shut down and I can assure you that 9 months is nowhere near enough time to get to the bottom of them - if you want to.
 

doodle

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Slightly different but I got a new horse after loosing 2. I think I rushed into it really. Was getting fed up looking at horses and not finding that spark. Thought maybe just I would never get it again and was looking for the impossible. So I bought a horse that was sound and laid back and knew pretty instantly once he was home it was the wrong one! He never did anything wrong, he was greener than I expected though and didn't seem keen to learn at all, but never did anything wrong as such. I didn't like him much and he clearly didn't like me either. People kept saying give it longer and I even moved yard back to where I had been to see if it would help. It didn't. After 5 months my boss (I'm a groom) said 'you are not enjoying him, you should sell and move on'. It was the permission I needed and he was advertised the next day. He sold quite easily to a lovely lady. I have to say I was relived when he went. She will love him and not ask for anything from him and it is going well.
I started half heartedly looking for another. Really wondering if I wanted another. Went to see Robin and instantly loved him. He came home 8 months ago. From the start I loved him. I cuddle and scritch him and he is well on the way to the bond I had with the 2 boys I lost. So maybe it is possible to get a glint back of what I did have. I don't think there is any harm at all in saying a horse is not for you and time to move on.
 

Zipzop

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I see your point, but you can't compare horses to humans like that. For one, the boyfriend in your scenario is, for argument's sake, looking for the same kind of relationship as OP. Nine months is a fair stretch for two people. Not the case with a horse. Not only is the horse not looking for it, he doesn't even know what it is.

Second, with human relationships, if it doesn't work out you break up and move on, hopefully to the next relationship. That one may not work out either so you move on again, maybe again and so on... some people find it, some never do. But at least you don't have to sell and rehome a boyfriend! If you try to do the same with a horse you still may never find that big click, and in the meantime you've cheated yourself out of a good stretch of stable horse ownership, opting instead for endless buying and selling and sucking the fun out of everything this is supposed to be.

It's great when horses really like being with you, and there's work you can do to make that more likely to happen. But although there might be a couple of commonalities, it's really not like finding a boyfriend.

This comes down to settling and what you'd rather settle for. I know I couldn't settle for a good stretch of stable horse ownership if I didn't really like the horse or think he was the one for me. Yes the endless buying and selling, (hopefully not too much) would be a PITA but if you don't keep looking then you definitely won't find the one you click with. I'd never settle.
 

Zipzop

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I am guessing you have never had a wrecked, poorly produced or sensitive horse. The vast majority of horses are straight forward, feed them and treated with respect they will soon enjoy your company, however there are some that are deep, mentally challenged or shut down and I can assure you that 9 months is nowhere near enough time to get to the bottom of them - if you want to.
Yes, I most certainly have! My current horse of 11 years was wild until 3.5 years, un handled and uncut. (I found out later that during his first three years of life he was born and lived in a field in a herd of 50 wild travellers horses!) He was then bought by a riding school for the school by a completely deluded riding school owner! Sent away to be backed and cut and when I arrived to view and subsequently buy him he was so nervous, didn't want to be touched and strong, spooky and unpredictable to ride.
I was a lot madder than I am now so bought him but only because it was love at first sight. I saw his head over the stable door and that was it, I just knew.
I love the bones of him but he has been extremely hard to deal with riding wise and we haven't got very far in our 11 years despite training, lots of time and patience, kindness and an excellent classical instructor. I think his lack of human contact during his early years turned him into an extremely nervous horse and we haven't really been able to undo much of the damage that did. So yes, we do fall under your category but the reason I continued with him was that I knew he was the one. I think when you know you just know and are willing to put the work in.
 

scats

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OP- if the day to day bond on the ground is important to you and you don't feel that you have it or will get it with this horse, then perhaps you should look at selling him on. It sounds like he is perfectly saleable so that shouldn't be an issue. I would say, however, you may actually still be grieving the loss of your other horse and without realising it, this may be stopping you from fully committing to another horse - if this is so, you might find you are constantly comparing new horses to him and you may find yourself in this situation again with another horse.

I've not had particularly affectionate horses, in fact, my jumping pony when I was a teenager was an absolute witch in the stable but the bond I had with her as unbelievable. We had a mutual agreement- she would put up with me hanging off her neck and hugging her every so often provided I put up with her snarling at me over the door and when her rugs were being changed. It didn't both me in the slightest because that was just the way she was (she had had a difficult past as purely a competition pony for a major team in the 80s). I knew how much I meant to her and she actually respected me even more because I understood he and never tried to change her. Previous to me, people used to go in her stable with a yard brush to 'push' her to the back.
 

Antw23uk

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Its a tricky one to judge when you dont know owner or horse but I would think more sell than keep. I had an amazing bond with my TB and he loved cuddles as much as I did, he was so affectionate and bonded with me. When he was pts I went straight out and brought the first horse I viewed ... granted this horse ticked ALL the boxes but I didnt really gel with him. He was boring, well behaved and what I would now say as being a bit shut down. I kept saying I was going to produce him a bit as an allrounder (he was a hunter) for a few months and sell ... and no doubt make a lovely profit, because we just didnt click and he had no character.

I remember going on holiday after having him a couple of months and I seemed to spend the whole holiday telling anyone and everyone how lovely he was and I couldnt believe how much I missed him, it was a real lightbulb moment and it seems he felt the same when I got back. The rest is history really. He is funny, cheeky, friendly he's a boy so goes to the person with the most food which makes me laugh because he is so fickle but I love him deep down to his very bones and I know he feels the same really and as long as I draw breath he will never leave me.

OP you have asked on here but I think deep down you already know the answer. Life is too short to be unhappy so go with your heart. Good luck.
 

LinzyD

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OP, it all comes down to what is important to you as an individual. I was in exactly the same position as you about a year ago. I had bought a beautiful, talented little horse not long after losing a pony who had been with me for 13 years. The new horse was always amazing to ride, even though only just backed, but I just couldn't click with him on the ground. He wanted to do his job then be left alone, whereas for me the ponies are part of the family, live outside my back door, and first and foremost have to be pets. The new horse had been with me for six months when I decided to sell him; everyone thought I was crazy because he was so talented and was already scooping up wins everywhere we went. But for me it's about the relationship first and the competition results are very much secondary. It's the six days a week at home that are more important to me than the one day a week at a competition. He went on to a more professional set-up where it's all about his job, and I got a pony who is in many ways much trickier to ride, but who follows me around like a puppy, whinnies every time he sees me, looks at me as though I am the light of his life, and who wraps his neck around me and pulls me in to him for a scratch and a cuddle. You know in your heart of hearts what is most important to you and if you are just not feeling it with this horse there is no shame in moving on. Horses are expensive and time-consuming, and I always say that you've got to love him just as much when he's lame or unrideable for whatever reason, when it's pouring down and freezing cold, and when you're exhausted and broke.

When you go to look at others see if you can spend a bit of time on the ground alone with the horse as well as riding and see what kind of feel you get. Don't be afraid to explain that for you the horse needs to be a pet as well as everything else and that you want to get a feel for how the horse is in the stable alone with you, not just from a behaviour point of view but from a relationship point of view. It doesn't matter if the vendor thinks you are mad or a bunny-hugger; it does matter that you have chance to get a feel for the horse's personality. Run your hands all over him, scratch him on his withers and behind his ears and see what reaction you get, ask for a brush or curry comb and give him a good going over, just spend some time in the stable with him and see how he is with you around him. You'll soon get a feel for whether he enjoys interaction or is a bit grumpy or completely indifferent. At least if the horse is interested in you in the stable you know you have a starting point for building a relationship.

Let us know what you decide to do and how you get on. I hope you get the lovely outcome that I got; I honestly couldn't be happier and am so glad I made that difficult decision.
 

Lanky Loll

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I'd also sell I'm afraid.
My lovely TB suffered and injury and has been retired this year, she is my horse of a lifetime. Whilst recovering from her injury I started to ride my mother's horse. A nice enough chap with a few issues (territorial and food issues being some of them), I spent 9 months working on him, he became a pleasant horse to ride, discovered some manners and became good to handle, but I couldn't help feeling a bit... meh. He did everything I asked him to do but there was no buzz to it. A lady came to try him, loved him and has bought him - she absolutely adores him. I did my job with him in educating him to be a nice person and now she is able to benefit from that.
I went and bought a 4yo.. recently backed. That I got off grinning the first time I sat on her after trying 6 on the yard. Sometimes you just need a click and it doesn't sound like you have it.
 

Annagain

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My boy is also known as Victor Meldrew. He's a star to ride (although dislikes flatwork) and is totally harmless but he complains about everything, especially in winter when he's been stuck in overnight. You just can deal with him until he's been out for a roll in the morning. Despite this, as long as you're trying to do anything to him, he is the cwtchiest horse you'll ever find.

Like you, his grumpiness doesn't put me off but unlike you, I adore him and him me (I think and hope!). If he was your boyfriend, I doubt you would carry on the relationship so why should a horse be any different. You could both be so much happier with other horses / owners. Life's too short.
 

Sukistokes2

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Been there, and it took a lot longer than 9 months for my horse to adjust to his new home, owner and routine.

Mine was 10 year old competition horse, kept on a pro yard and as a stallion all his life. He was rarely turned out even after he was gelded, his routine was on the walker, on the lunge, in the school with pro dressage rider on, handed to a groom, bath and solarium, back to stable. This was on a very well know and large dressage/competition yard in Surrey.

I bought him in 2004 and the vet I sent in told me he has never seen such a shut down horse and in his opinion the horse needed a complete change of scene and one to one care. The horse had no issues temperament wise, indeed he was and remains the most polite and gentle horse I have ever known.

I goy him home and into a tiny private yard with two other horses. He went to the back of his much larger than he was used to, stable and just watched me. When I skipped out around him he moved to each corner without being asked. It took two years for him to approach me and I will never forgot the day he put his head against my chest and asked me to cuddle him. Of course being a stallion until he was 9 meant he was handled differently than most geldings would be. There was no doubt he had been brought up properly and he respected people, but he was soul less and empty, absolutely characterless and very demoralising to look after. Yes he was the competition horse I wanted, he got on the lorry and performed well but in the first two years I never knew how he was feeling.

When he finally allowed me into his life was a special moment and 12 years on he is happily retired and I can tell at 100 yards how he is and he worships the ground I walk on. He actually became so attached to me that I could not stand at the ringside when he was competing because he would want to stop by me. I hid behind many a wheelie bin at the big shows !

Some horses take years to change, adapt to new routines and to trust. Somehow I have managed to get two of them, the competition horse being the first and then the bonkers carthorse who has taken 3 1/2 years to relax. My advise to OP would be to give it more time subject to the horse not being dangerous.


Oh this choked me up!!! How lovely!!!!
 

Tobiano

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What an interesting thread. I have 3 perspectives, for what they are worth.

1. What if this new horse has pain or discomfort somewhere? People have mentioned ulcers but there are many other possibilities including skeletal problems (which wouldn't be that surprising in an ex racehorse), teeth, sore muscles etc. He may in fact be being incredibly gentle and tolerant given that he is in a lot of discomfort. Not judging here, I've had a horse like this who turned out to have arthritis…
2. have you experimented with what your horse really enjoys from the ground? I love the feeling when i find just the right spot to scratch, really really hard, and my horse 'air mutual grooms' (he is far too polite to actually make contact, just makes grooming faces in the air).
3. Having lost beloved horses in the past, it does occur to me that perhaps having one who is great to ride but has not captured every fibre of your soul, may not be a bad thing… given the agony when you lose your equine soul mate.

Not sure if any of those thoughts is the least bit useful but I hope you find the right way forward for you OP x
 

vanrim

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Your horse as you described is a classic case of stomach/hind gut ulcers. If you are the person who wants to get to the bottom of his pain problems and get him treated you might find you have got your perfect horse like I did.
 
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