When you want to pack it all in, what stops you?

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I've had a horrid time this year, with illness and injury (his and mine), and last night was in tears with my mum and OH, saying I was really considering packing it all in.
He's cost me almost a grand in vet's bills in the past year, sleepless nights, blood, sweat, tears, the works. I know I'm just having a low moment and I really don't want to sell him and jack it all in, but could do with some motivational / inspirational thoughts.
I guess for me, the things that really make it worthwhile are:
His beautiful face over the stable door in the morning;
Early morning hacks on a wonderful, calm, confident horse;
His ears always pricked forward;
Getting kissed on the bum when I brush his front legs;
The confidence he's given me to jump again;
The view of the countryside from the yard...

Anyone else up for motivating me??
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when I am as exhausted as I am now (been ill for 5 weeks with a nasty virus that just wants to make me sleep 24/7) I always think of the time when i did pack it in 10 yrs ago (due to parents redundancy we sold our horse) and how much i missed my horse-it broke my heart seing him go in that trailer and never to be seen again and i could never do it again now i have my own. I also think of summer, competing with my friends and hacking to the pub. At the moment I feel that exhausted I could quite happily take the whole winter off!!

Your probably just having a low week. Things will get better, each day that goes by is closer to spring, closer to xmas and closer to having some much needed sun on your back whilst your out riding and dodging horse flies
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!

Chin up, smile and hope your feeling bit better soon x
 
I sympathise with you, and I did give it all up when i split up with my long term partner, i sold my horse ide had for 8 years and my lorry, and all my equipment, and trust me it was the worst thing i ever did! 2 years on and I have a lovely TB, and even though i sometimes wish i had time to myself i look at my horse, and realise his love for me is unconditional, unlike the love of a human.
your horse will pay you back 10 times over for all the love and care you have given him, and you may not see him doing it, but its the little things he does that makes you realise how worthwhile having a horse is.
he will ALWAYS be there for you no matter how your feeling, and the time you spend with him from here should be enjoyed, every second.
just for 1 minute imagine life without him, and yes probably you will see a more relaxed life but look a little further on in to the future and try and imagine him never being there again....its not nice!
stick on in there, and sounds like you have been to hell and backwith him, but just remember you have gone through the crappy times, nows the time to look forward and see the good in it all.
my thoughts are with you xxx
 
I have had similar feelings this year - it's been one disaster after another with my boy and I started wondering whether it was all worth it.

But then I think about what I would do with my spare time if I didn't have a horse, and I know I'd spend all that spare time wishing I had a horse (like I used to before I started riding again). That and the memories (although a bit distant now) of the success I had with him in our first year are what stop me jacking it all in.

The good times will be back - you can join my club of 'worst horse year ever but next year will be better' if you like
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Yes, im tired, oh god am I tired & broke, My horse costs me a fortune. Its cold, dark and wont stop raining. One problem after another etc. So quite often I think ' pack it all in', but just cant do it. I love my horsie - bless him. Getting used to the fact over many many years, that if you keep horses, you will never have any money, and quite often, not much spare time either.
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So glad you have both posted of your experiences when you did sell your horses. It has really put it into perspective. Yes, life would be more relaxed, but so empty and shallow.
I think it is just vile winter and the lack of light that's making me so blue.
And he really is my best mate (don't let OH hear me say that!!) and does give back 10 times what I give him (even when it is mixed with bute paste and all down the front of my coat!!)
Roll on summer!
 
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The good times will be back - you can join my club of 'worst horse year ever but next year will be better' if you like
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I will be club secretary
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Roll on summer!

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Just remember, it's less then two weeks until the shortest day. There are (few) days when after work I am feeling like wanting to pack it in and go home rather then having horses to do, but often when you actually get going you enjoy it.

Having said that, I am feeling so exhausted at moment (normally it takes until February to reach this point), that I am sometimes thinking I must be mad, must be the unbelievably amount of rain we had and an overdose of pony politics in our yard.
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I have a quirky nappy mare who has 2 old injuries and one hell of a buck, over £500 in vets bills and physio to find out why she was doing rodeo displays to discover I need to spend yet another £900 on a custom made saddle.
I was seriously thinking of selling her until I remembered, I would have to pay someone to take her! I couldn't bare to sell her and tbh we have such lows but such amazing highs, chin up chick. I am sure he is worth every penny you have spent on him
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I know my one is
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I just could not do it...I could not see my lad go to someone else, he is my best friend and always there for me with his cheeky attitude and naughty ways.
Like others, I feel like I have been through hell and back over the last 4 months with him laminitis and copd problems and we are not finished with it yet either...I am hating the darkness at both ends of the days, the mud, rain and tiredness but keep dreaming of spring and wishing my life away until the shortest day! Ride it out for a bit longer and see how you feel in the spring...it is not far away.
 
Can I join the club too please?
Got my horse 3rd May
She went lame 2nd July
Broke my arm on another horse 2nd August
Horse went sound 18th Sept, started riding, within 2 weeks lame on other foot.
She 's now on Box rest and a hooligan....
Are those credentials enough to join please??
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When I get to the point of giving it all up I just look at my Andalusians beautiful head and think about how good it feels when I'm flying round a x country course at the speed of light on him. I also think about all the times he's had me in hysterics, he's a massive character who is always doing the most bizarre funny things. I suddenly realise I have the most perfect horse I could ever wish for, thats why I carry on!
 
Let's all have a huge group hug ((((((((())))))))))!
My god, we've all had a bad time of it, haven't we.
Thanks to everyone for their encouragement and positive vibes.
Sorry for those who are also having a rough time this year and huge healing vibes for horses and humans alike.
2009 has, I think, gone down in a lot of people's books as a pretty dreadful one and your kind posts have helped me put things in perspective and count my blessings.
 
Oh I'd love to join the club too! Got my horse in Feb, had terrible accident in trailer beginning of May and completely shattered what little confidence I had left, lame until July, started bringing back into work then had a foot abcess, so 3 weeks off. Started bringing back into work again, gashed leg in the field, another 3 weeks off. Started bringing back into work again, acute lumbar pain so has been off again for past 2 months and on bute for the past month and physio. Have seen a marked improvement and only 3 bute sachets left so very excited at the prospect of him FINALLY being ready for work again. Then he re-opens what was initially a minor cut by over reaching last weekend (probably t1tting about in the field) and is now a much worse cut than before. Oh and just to cap it off, he was displaying some very odd behaviour on Monday, vet out on Tues and he has cystitis

So, in answer to your question yes I have most definitely thought about packing it all in. A small fortune has been spent in vets bills and I haven't been able to ride him since May. He has been coming in every night now over the past couple of months and although all I do every night is go up, muck out, groom and generally spend time with him, i've found that we now have a great bond and although I get up there at 6pm, I'm in no hurry to get home and frequently get back after 8.30! I genuinely love spending time with him so I figure now we actually like each other (rather a lot)! and have a very good relationship on the ground, once he is back in work and I'm actually riding him all the heartache over the past 8 months will have been worth it!

Sorry for the long post!
 
My lovely veteran mare had a terrible year of on/off lameness and I shudder to think of the money spent on her. Then she died on the 18 November and I thought my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I had that horse for 10 years and to be honest, I would have happily have walked away from horses and let her be my one and only. But my kids ride and are fanatical about their ponies and now, thanks to another HHO member, I have a mare coming on loan with a view to buy. I just keep thinking of how happy the bond with my mare used to make me and remind myself of how much I enjoyed the good times. Its hard to do at this time of year, so I do know how you feel.

And lets face it, what on earth would we all do with all that money and free time - shop? I would be soooooo bored. The reason I took up riding is that I'm rubbish or can't be bothered with other types of sport. I'm slimmer and healthier than I would be if I sat at home and I'm on a friendly yard. I'm self employed so often its the only human contact I get as well. All of us want something more in our lives, that's why we do it, no matter how hard it gets!
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I took 8 months out when I went through a horrible breakup and it did me the world of good - came back into it with renewed confidence and a determination to enjoy myself!
 
Same as Tuttlebum. Have had a pony/horse since I was 8. Now 56. I thought about 10 years ago after sellling a particularly nappy nightmare horse, that's it, I've had enough. 3 months down the line when the house shone and the garden looked like Kew I was slowly going round the bend. OH was fed up with me demanding outings every week-end. He was used to me spending all day with the horse. Had a horse ever since. It's because you feel down that you want to throw the towel in. Your horse sounds lovely too. Think how much you would miss being head butted in the shavings. Mine is my sanity. I have my own yard but I love going over when everyone has gone home and it's just me and him (even though I love my liveries) We just have a quiet 10 minutes and I tell him what we've had for dinner and give him a carrot. You would so miss all that. It's because you don't feel well and the weather is making us all feel like pants with the mud and wet. Don't you insure him, that would take some of the stress of you. It's nearly spring so chin up, the days will be getting longer before you know it and we will all be off for our evenings hacks again
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Its cold, wet and the worst time of year for a horse. I am ill, and having chemotherapy at the moment. It's really, really tough, makes you feel so ill. My beautiful, gentle, kind boy is what is keeping me going, I stagger to the yard just to look at him, stroke his nose, bury my hands in his mane and dream about the spring and all the fun we'll have again. I imagine hacking out in the sunshine with friends and going for a XC schooling blast. Don't give up on your horse, it WILL come right!!
 
aaaah, this thread has brought tears to my eyes!! as others have said it feels like this has been a particularly hard long year, lots of us have had no pay rise/ pay cuts/ redundancy etc and had to make serious financial adjustments and as we all know it is so hard to make sacrifices where our beloved horses are concerned! that coupled with the endless rain and dark nights makes it difficult to be motivated to ride!

a couple of my friends have had shockers with their horses being very ill this year which has been a real leveller for me. i am so glad that fingers and toes crossed and wood touched for the rest of the year (!) i have had a fab year competing my boy and am now having a well earned break just hacking and the odd bit of schooling, will pick it all back up again Feb/ Mar.

you are not alone, honestly we all have times when emotionally/financially/physically it all gets a bit too much! but just remember that feeling of warm breath on your cheek on an icy morning and that gorgeous smell when you give your horse a hug...... you just cant beat it!
 
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