Where are those "What's the silliest thing you've ever heard" threads??

I hadn't had my first horse, a Shire mare, 3 weeks, when one of my more experienced horsey acquaintances asked if I were having my fields fertilised. I was a rank novice, but I had done a bit of homework before acquiring my girl. I told her no, it wasn't being fertilised as I had plenty of old growth pasture and I didn't want my mare to be at risk of laminitis. She answered, hand-on-my-heart in all seriousness, "Oh, you have nothing to worry about...only ponies get laminitis." I couldn't breathe!!
 
My friends boyfriend had come to help us finish evening stables one day. We pointed him to a quiet horse and asked him to put her rugs on and carried on doing what we were doing and didn't think much of it. About 20 mins later he emerged from the stable a little flustered.
"Gosh, they make those rugs so flippin difficult to put on! Don't know how you girls have the patience!!"
We looked in and just laughed. He'd managed to put them on inside out, fastenings done up and all! Bless him, at least he tried!
 
I was giving a friend a lift once who said to me "I didnt know you had joined the police?! when did you start that?" - they had seen my bodyprotector in the back of the car and thought it was a bulletproof vest!


There is also someone round here who gaffer taped a lost shoe back onto the horse. This person is head lad at a racing yard too?!?! its now become local legend with the farriers round here haha!
 
I once phoned up about a horse for sale and asked Does she move straight? There was a pause and then the owner said Yes, she prefers straight lines, she doesn't like cornering much. :D
 
This conversation was a few weeks ago and still has me laughing!!

Me - The grass is getting really rich at the moment. It's making Cam (my horse) rather sharp.
Mum - Oh, that would be why Blue (Mum's miniature) has a red nose.
Me - *looking rather confused*
Mum - The sharp grass must be poking on his nose making it red. May be I should keep him off it until it is softer...

Had me in stitches of laughter for quite a while!!!
 
These should be put into a book - it would be a best seller. Sooooo funny - cheered me up after a vile day.
 
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