where to go from here? what would you do?

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clairefeekerry1

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okay, i'll try keep this brief! i really am misrable as sin at the moment. think i'm heading for a breakdown at this rate!
18 months ago i spent my life savings (cashed in shares etc) to buy the horse of my dreams to go out and have some real fun on. he was and still is a total sweetie. fast forward to now, he's currently 7 and very lame (when ridden only). has been like this for about 9 months, previous to that i'd had the best year i've ever had with a horse. i wont go into detail now on his injury/issue as i have done to death on previous threads, he's been to specialist etc, massive vets bills, been turned away etc etc but the end of it is he will never be sound to ride, likely that he wont even be sound to hack out in walk. he's currently field sound, not sure how long this will last.
what the hell am i going to do?! he's 7, very very sweet, i've never got on with a horse as well as i do with him. i would feel so guilty getting another horse as he's so used to getting all my attention- we are kinda joint at the hip!! plus given i spent quite a bit on him i'd prob have all of £300 for a new horse. i'd rather he was pts than sent to someone as a companion. or do i just accept i'll never ride again and keep him as a pet??? i soooo want to do lots of competing etc, but only if its on him?!!! oh i'm so sad.
 
If he is still receiving medical treatment then you may struggle to loan as a companion. It has to be your choice but I'm sure it'll be in his best interest. Thinking of you.
 
he doesnt need any treatment or medication, but he's prob not quite a chuck out and forget type, i.e would need bit of feed, would need shelter or stabled in winter. but sure there are 100's of horses available as a companion that dont have the potential issues he has. i just so feel guilty that he'd go from pampered to not so pampered
 
I feel for you, but I know for a fact I over pamper my horses. I bring them in in winter/inclement weather, give them thick beds and warm rugs.
The truth of the matter is, they have thick winter coats and would prefer to be out than in, although they always seem to appreciate a feed.
My advice would be keep him as a pet, let him live as a horse should, covered in mud, in a field, as happy as Larry, very much a win win situation.
 
Clairefeekerry1, I really feel for you as I have exactly the same dilemma at the moment, the only difference being that I can't get another horse whilst I still have the current one. It's such a hard decision as I didn't buy him as a pet and if I decide to keep him that way then I can wave goodbye to any ideas of riding I ever had. It's really making me so unhappy and I had a proper meltdown this morning, but then I look at him and see how happy he is and I can't bring myself to do 'the deed'.

Sorry for hijacking your post and giving you absolutely no useful advice whatsoever :(
 
TakeAChance said:
Clairefeekerry1, I really feel for you as I have exactly the same dilemma at the moment, the only difference being that I can't get another horse whilst I still have the current one. It's such a hard decision as I didn't buy him as a pet and if I decide to keep him that way then I can wave goodbye to any ideas of riding I ever had. It's really making me so unhappy and I had a proper meltdown this morning, but then I look at him and see how happy he is and I can't bring myself to do 'the deed'.

Sorry for hijacking your post and giving you absolutely no useful advice whatsoever :(
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No your situation is exactly like mine! I cant really get another one either, I dont think I could afford it unless I found a field or something to rent. So i'm in the same situation. If I keep him I can say goodbye to riding. But I cant bare to send him somewhere as a companion. I'd rather have him pts. I too am having a melt down. I'm thinking of going to the doctors as I actually think i'm having a breakdown. What are you going to do?x
 
Personally i couldnt pts a horse that could have a life but i am a bit of a saddo i have never done the livery thing have my own place rented so dont have to worry about a couple in the field.

I f you can find him a good loan home you have control over then all good could he not manage a very light hack as some literally only want to wander around.

If you cant find a home and cant afford to keep then pts i probably couldnt do this but i feel it is better than a horse being passed around unsuitable homes or markets, i buy to sell on sometimes i always offer to buy horses back if it doesnt work out and if horse is injured and needs long term field rest to help with this as i have 80 acres.

I also offer to take back if horse is unrideable after an injury as i would rather have choice to retire horse in my field if i can or pts if needed as sometimes this is the kinder option.

If you really cant keep and another horse unless you can find an excellent loan home then make the right choice and pts you would never forgive yourself if the horse was passed from home to home.
 
clairefeekerry1 said:
I'm thinking of going to the doctors as I actually think i'm having a breakdown.
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Same here :( I don't know what I'm going to do about it. At the moment no one can seem to get to the bottom of what's wrong with him and I can't consider having him put down without even knowing what's wrong or what the prognosis might be so I'm in limbo, but it's wearing me down. If I had my own land, it wouldn't be an issue, I'd happily let him live out the rest of his days as a pet.

I feel selfish for thinking about all the riding I could be doing if I had another horse because having another one would mean no longer having this one, but I'm starting to think I have to consider my happiness in all of this. I'd be happy to let him go to a good home as a companion, but he's quite a wimpy TB and I think he'd be too much work for someone just wanting a companion.

So hard.
 
I really feel for you, it is a very difficult decision. I have been there with 2 previous horses, both of which had to be retired at 8 years old. The first horse was an irish sports horse and I sent him to a local retirement yard. Yes he could live the rest of his life like a 'horse', grazing with his companions etc in a big field with shelter. BUT, don't be fooled that this lifestyle would suit all horses. I had some silly romantic notion, that a retirement home for horses would be idyllic, however, the reality is that many of our horses are not suited to a lifestyle of doing nothing, they are too far removed from their wild ancestors and thrive on a routine. When my other horse ended his riding career at a similar age I made the tough decision to have him pts. I really believe there are far worse things that can happen to a horse then to be humanely pts. Good luck. x
 
I wouldn't PTS as if you are feeling this bad about doing the deed, just think how much guilt you would feel afterwards. I have had to retire my mare due to injury. There is no way on earth I could have her PTS whilst she is happy and not suffering. I love every hair on her. I am lucky right now in that I own my own place, but that has only been the case for the past 6 years. Before that I kept her at livery but still would not have her PTS even if it meant I couldn't have another. Could you not keep him as a pet but take on another horse as a share? Or a loan?
 
to be honest its not so much the outlay of another horse its the ongoing costs. last year at one point i had three and i got rid of them slowly as i couldnt give them all the attention they deserved, plus he'll always be the apple of my eye so whilst he is around i dont think i'd bond with another horse. for example, this morning everyone on the yard has gone out riding, he is mooching around the field on his own and i am sitting at home all sad. if i could find a field locally i'd be happy to have a couple/few horses but i'm on livery, they have to come in at nights over the winter
 
I am possibly also going to be in a similar dilemma to you in a few months, but I can't see my 9yo horse being happy being retired, he likes to keep his brain occupied; he is a nuisance with other horses, not nasty but just wants to play, so no good as a companion.

Horses are expensive and hard work and we do it for our enjoyment; so although it sounds harsh, I think it would be better for BOTH of you if you did have him pts. You do sound like you have a fab relationship, but in 2, 3, 4, 5 years time, you may start to resent him.

I agree with the previous poster who said there are far worse things that can happen to a horse than to have him humanely pts.

Why not give him a lovely long summer living out, enjoy him - maybe do some in-hand showing with him, and then see how you feel at the beginning of next winter? Does anyone else at the yard have a horse you can ride once or twice a week in the meantime in return for some chores?

Good luck with whatever you decide
 
I was in EXACTLY the same situation about 9 months ago. Spent my lies savings on a beautiful horse, 6 years old, had her at a beautiful yard, got a fantastic instructor. Then she went completely lame, went off to see specialists. Im also left with £600 and spent well over her insurance trying to get her right. My vet told me the best thing would be to pts, as shell never be any use to anyone again. I tried to loan her as a companion, but it hit me pretty quickly that no matter how bloody kind the horse is, if theyre 16.1hh and not a very good doer then nobody wants them as a companion.

So i moved yard. I found a yard that offers retired grass livery at £10 a week. I dont have any tack for her but i have a little room to keep her rugs and grooming kit. Shes not a breed thats meant to live out but shes doing just fine and is loving her retirement :)

As id moved to such a cheap yard, a stable and ad lib hay is only £100 a month and this is in rural berkshire!! So ive got a beautiful boy on long term loan. I went for a loan as i didnt want to have to go through the heartache again if something went wrong. I mean, if he goes lame, of course ill try and help him through it but it just means that if something goes really wrong again, i dont have to deal with it. Being completely honest, i dont think i would have the strength in me ater what happened with my mare.

I bring both my horses in everyday. Whilst my friends are grooming and tacking up one horse, i groom two and then tack up one. It is sad leaving her behind when we go out, but shes always happy to see us when we get back :) I take her for walks like a giant dog and have even tried trick training her to keep her mind ticking.

Obviously, its different for everyone and i think it would be very very different if my mare was older. But whilst ever shes happy, im happy. I also think that people on your yard (hopefully) will come through and ive found ive never been without a horse to ride. Even though i know its better on your own. And also, you never know, mother nature can work miracles and i just think if i was my mare, id be bloody grateful that my mum hadnt given up hope on me :)

Good luck :) If you need to chat to anyone feel free to PM me. I know just how hard this sort of situation.
 
thats really nice to hear samantha- i've had a really good look around though and cant find anything similar here. i suppose i've just got used to giving 1 horse 100% percent of my time, commitment and money. was so nice to go up in the mornings and just muck out one horse, able to spend every min and every penny on just one horse. i did have three a while back but it was different as one was really really old and was so glad to be retired she didnt want anything to do with you and the other was a hard as nails welsh cob that would pile on weight if she looked at a rug/stable/hay/feed and didnt want to leave the field. my life revolves around horses, dont think i could just ride one every now and then, i've owned at least one horse for the last 20 years- i've never had a day when i havent had one. have you had to comprimise on facilites then?? there is a little farm that offers grass liviers for 10 per week but thats no stable, rubbish fencing, no shelter, no school, no lights. so i dont see how i'd be able to keep another ridden horse there with no stable, school or lights
 
I would definately look round to try and find a livery yard where he can be turned out all year round. Preferably with a variety of terrain, natural shelter and a sloping field. If you have to go slightly further afield then perhaps arrange with another livery to check on him when you can't make it. You might have to keep him at a different yard to any new horse. At least it will give him a year or so of happy natural life as a horse and it might help him. If he doesn't stay sound being kept out 24/7 then I think theres your answer. But he is so young...

As for having a limited budget for a new horse, what about an older competition schoolmaster type? Might be so well tried that any soundness issues are ironed out and you can often get really good horses for a very low price that will happily compete with a new rider at a slightly lower level.
 
Nope, i have an indoor school, an outdoor school, a xc course and fabulous stables. Not to mention 1mile long gallops :)

I know this yard was a very very lucky find, but i do honestly beleive that there will be soemthing like it near you. I do have to travel to get there, it isnt on my doorstep. Its about 20mins away in the car.

I think you need to ask yourself what you can live with. I put a post up on here asking people what they would do in the hope that most people would say pts. I hated the idea of never riding again, especially on someones horse but, if i could go back tp that person now and show them what ive got now, i know that i made 100% the right decision. Dont get me wrong, id love to be on my old yard, i had friends there etc. But ive got riends on my new yard too now and one of my old friends is waiting for the next stable to come up so that she can come and join me!

I dont have alot of money, im a student in full time education with a part time job on top of that and i dont get much help from my parents but the day i paid for Lexi was the day that she became my sole responsibility and im the sort of person that would put her before me.

Id love to only have one horse, but i cant. Id love to ride Lexi, but i cant. Ive learnt to deal with it and now im so grateful for my new boy who i thought id struggle to love, but now hes so bloody perfect i cant help but shower him with carrots and hugs :)

Lexi had to have 3 rugs on in winter and she still gets two feeds a day. Its not easy, and most people would perhaps pts. Ive always tried to be an owner that my horse would pick for him/herself. I feel liek i am that person now and whilst ever i am physically/financially capable of keeping her happy, so she will stay :)
 
Hi Claire,
I dont think I've read your previous posts so not sure what is wrong with your horse.
About 4 years ago I was battling with a lameness on my mare we did box rest, steroid, surgery and nothing would solve it.
The vet suggested PTS as she would never be more than pasture sound. I personally didn't feel I could euthanise a healthy horse as she was sound in walk.
The vet said give her a year off and see what happens! So I did took of shoes and turned her away.
Luckily after this time she came back sound :D.
I was so happy, because like you I knew if she wasn't sound I wouldn't be able to afford to buy or keep another horse along with her.
You just have to follow your heart and make which decisions is best for you.
I'm glad I didn't have my horse PTS as she is fine now and I'm able to do most things with her and I'm just a little over cautious incase she injures herself again.
Good luck x
 
the yard i'm at now is already 20mins away by car! so it would be further afield than that!! i think you've hit the nail on the head about the accepting what you can and cant do. I haven't yet accepted that my boy will never be rideable again. i'd even accept if he could be a light hack-but he cant. i suppose if i'm honest, i was so so so skint when i had 3 horses (as in not enough money to pay my mortgage!) and so so so tired getting up at stupid a clock, not getting in till stupid a clock that it was such a relief when i went down to 1 horse and i bonded even more with my boy now he is my sole horse.
 
Chestnut mare said:
Hi Claire,
I dont think I've read your previous posts so not sure what is wrong with your horse.
About 4 years ago I was battling with a lameness on my mare we did box rest, steroid, surgery and nothing would solve it.
The vet suggested PTS as she would never be more than pasture sound. I personally didn't feel I could euthanise a healthy horse as she was sound in walk.
The vet said give her a year off and see what happens! So I did took of shoes and turned her away.
Luckily after this time she came back sound :D.
I was so happy, because like you I knew if she wasn't sound I wouldn't be able to afford to buy or keep another horse along with her.
You just have to follow your heart and make which decisions is best for you.
I'm glad I didn't have my horse PTS as she is fine now and I'm able to do most things with her and I'm just a little over cautious incase she injures herself again.
Good luck x
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hi, glad to hear it turned out well!!! you must be very pleased!!

unfortunately they believe my horse has a neurolgical problem. he has already had 6 months off and is actually worse to my horror!! they believe it could be degenerative - i.e getting worse with time rather than better
 
Sounds like you have found the perfect solution Samantha008. Does your horse share a field with others, or is she alone? I have the option of grass livery in a nice field, but there are no other horses there and I know my boy would hate that.
 
cant understand why you cannot find out what is wrong with him there is so much more knowledge available these days plus instruments, there is bone scanning, mri, xrays, ultrasounds, nerve blocking, remedial shoeing, barefoot surely you have tried all of the above - one of them has to be able to tell you what is wrong or you are using the wrong vets.
 
I have not read any of the other replies so sorry if I am repeating any.

First of all I have followed your posts and I think you have done above and beyond your best for your horse.

I have 2 views on your position: 1. Horses are horses and they do not fear a future or a lack of one. They are concerned with having enough food, warmth, attention, and care. They deserve to have a life free from fear and pain. They do not worry about being PTS. They have no ambitions. They do not mind being in a field and not going to the olympics or worry about not fullfilling their potential. Your horse has received all he needs and more. He continues to receive this now.
If you continue along this line he will be happy, but if you chose to PTS because you deserve some time for you too, and you have ambition and potential to fullfill, he will still be happy until that moment - then he will be free.

2. I know how hard it was for my daughter to accept that she could not have a competition horse when her beloved boy broke down. But she found it harder to PTS while he was bright and lovely. You may find you are too sentimental to PTS yet - and that is your choice.

What I am trying to say is all this is down to you and only you. However I am sure no vet or serious owner would consider criticising you whichever decision you make. It is better to PTS than neglect or pass on a horse no longer fit for his job. There is no shame in keeping a horse as a pet if this is what you are both happy to settle for.
 
beeswax said:
just read your post about the neurological problem, if that is confirmed then PTS. Kinder for the horse and for you.
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Hi. Yep i've had all the diagnostic things you've mentioned and nothing shows on any of them. I've literally nearly spent all of my insurance money on diagnostics. I've used two vets practices one being a referal equine hospital that deals with lameness. The vets are now describing more as a gait abnormalitie as its not really limb specific. Its now getting worse as previously it only appeared on a 20m circle but now its in a straight line too
 
Am really sorry to hear of your dilemma,it is not totally unusual. If you pts kindly you will be making a humane decision for the horse, and however hard it is on you ,you will move on,and go and workand earn some money and try again.
 
Don't give up on finding a nice companion home for him, it looks like I am just about to loose my companion horse as the owner doesn't want to contribute a reasonable amount towards his keep anymore of which I am asking for £70.00 per month. For this the horse gets kept at my home with a private yard with just one other horse, stabled at night all year round, all day turnout, rugged, feed and bedding, wormed, feet trimmed, groomed. loved etc. Basically I give him full livery and keep him as my own but for a small contribution towards his keep and she gets to come and see him several times a year, so nice homes are out there for horses that can no longer be ridden. Don't give up if he can still have a nice quality of life keeping another horse company.
 
BID said:
Don't give up on finding a nice companion home for him, it looks like I am just about to loose my companion horse as the owner doesn't want to contribute a reasonable amount towards his keep anymore of which I am asking for £70.00 per month. For this the horse gets kept at my home with a private yard with just one other horse, stabled at night all year round, all day turnout, rugged, feed and bedding, wormed, feet trimmed, groomed. loved etc. Basically I give him full livery and keep him as my own but for a small contribution towards his keep and she gets to come and see him several times a year, so nice homes are out there for horses that can no longer be ridden. Don't give up if he can still have a nice quality of life keeping another horse company.
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Your set up sounds fantastic for someone who is committed to their retired horse but it seems to be the out of sight out of mind people who don't want to pay anything for their horses upkeep.

If you see your horse regularly you keep the bond and don't mind paying for him but if you don't see him often even £70 a month seems a begrudge.

My horse went permanently lame at the age of 11 ( not as young as some ) and I kept him retired for another 16 yrs. He was field sound and had his friends and tbh was happy as larry. My situation was different though in that I had the money to buy another and keep my first horse well aswell. I did eventually buy some land as I worked out the cost of keeping them over a natural lifespan would have cost the same as a small house

Good luck though it is a horrible decision and you must do what is right for you and your horse.
 
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Do you have not have loss of use on your insurance policy that you could claim from in a first instance. I had a similar problem with my horse of lifetime purchase, where mine was lame within 18 months of buying her. I never got a proper diagnoses for her either, was lame at the back bilaterally and eventually I got my vet to diagnose locommotion problems of the hind legs, although she was pasture sound the vet did a statement to say the horse had no future use as a riding horse to the insurance company and I got 100% of the sum insured back (the price i paid for her) to have her freeze marked. She is now in a very happy home as a companion and I am incontact with the lady who has her reguarly.

My horse wasn't nessecariy going to get worse very quickly being out at pasture so a bit different to yours, but I'd try and push for loss of use and then look at what quality of life he is going to have as a companion, if he can't hack, and make a decision from there.
 
Wagtail said:
I wouldn't PTS as if you are feeling this bad about doing the deed, just think how much guilt you would feel afterwards. I have had to retire my mare due to injury. There is no way on earth I could have her PTS whilst she is happy and not suffering. I love every hair on her. I am lucky right now in that I own my own place, but that has only been the case for the past 6 years. Before that I kept her at livery but still would not have her PTS even if it meant I couldn't have another. Could you not keep him as a pet but take on another horse as a share? Or a loan?
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I totally agree with this post (I also have a useless retired horse and my currently rideable horse is getting a bit old and past it, so will soon have two - both on DIY!).

It is one thing to be practically having a breakdown now before the PTS deed is done. Just imagine how terrible it would be to be wracked with guilt for the rest of your life if you went ahead and couldn't come to terms with it. There would be no going back.

At least if you keep him as a pet for as long as he is happy, then you are happy too (to a degree). And you never know, something bright may appear on the horizon. It's always darkest before dawn.
 
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