Who do I send back, opinions please?

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Cat&Mouse

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Sorry its a long one!:(

I have 2 horses on Loan they are like my own & I love them to bits.

The mare I've had for 5 years, she had a hard competition life & came to me to be a happy hacker, she is slightly stiff so do occasionally jump but would never want to compete her again.

I hadn't competed for 10+ years I was then offered last year a semi retired TB who is fighting fit, has evented, hunted, nice school master. Always been my dream to try hunting, learn dressage & get back into competing but was never possible with the mare. I share a field & managed to persuade folks to let me have another horse.

I have accomplished my dream, have had a couple of dressage lessons done my first ever dressage test came second on 70.9% very chuffed, did a couple of local showjumping shows, not massively our thing, then been hunting, wow I have found my new love!

Anyway I now have a dilema I do not have my own transport I rely on a friends trailer which I probably won't be able to use this year, the TB does cost a lot more to keep & I do not think I can afford to keep both of them. They are both lovely characters & get on so well. But I don't know which one to part with if I really get to the stage I have to part with one, I know the TB would prob get a new loan home quite easily but I imagine mare would not be put out on loan again & would just spend the rest of her days in a field not being ridden. Winning lottery ticket needed please! I have done every possible cut back I can think of always thinking things will pick up I will be in a better position soon but it never happens. oppinions please??
 
Heart says keep the mare...you owe it to her after she's given you 5 years. Head says keep the TB you'll enjoy him more. And what I would do?? Keep both and struggle on!! :D No help at all really am I? ;)
 
Which do you prefer riding? Which would you miss the most? Think it would be the TB that gives you the most riding pleasure from reading your thread. Hope it doesn't come to you having to return either of them, you sound like you love them both so much.
 
How old are you and how old is the mare? If you are cracking on, send back the mare and have some fun while you are young enough. If you are young but so is the mare, send back the mare, it's too long to wait. If you are young and the mare is old, keep her until she is put down and then fulfill your dreams with another horse, meanwhile send back the TB. Terribly hard choice. Any chance of finding a sharer for them both who will help with costs? Good luck whatever you choose.
 
I supose that the ideal outcome is to find a person to half-share the T/B so that you could still ride her sometimes and then they could hack out with you when you ride other horse. Idealy they would have a trailer too !!!
 
Cheaper Livery isn't an option as pay very little now, just unfortunatley they are not just round the corner so use a lot in fuel morning & night. I have tried getting them closer to reduce fuel costs but anything closer is riduculous money. I like to think of our place as a home for life I no they are not mine but they are both a pleasure to ride & own. Both are quirky to ride so honestly couldn't choose between them on that, do you think I can ask OH to go down to one meal a day? That might help a little!
 
As both are on loan the ultimate responsibility for both of them is not yours, eventhough you love them both. Equally, either or both of them could be called back off loan at anytime.

I would send the mare back and press on with the one you are getting the most out of. This is the thing with loans, surely? If they were both yours and you could only keep one, then I would say the opposite and tell you to keep the mare. But they aren't yours, and why should you carry on paying out for somebody else's horse into its retirement (which could go on for years) if it's stopping you from doing what you want to do riding wise? It's just not your responsibility. I assume that you have a contract?
 
cptrayes said:
How old are you and how old is the mare? If you are cracking on, send back the mare and have some fun while you are young enough. If you are young but so is the mare, send back the mare, it's too long to wait. If you are young and the mare is old, keep her until she is put down and then fulfill your dreams with another horse, meanwhile send back the TB. Terribly hard choice. Any chance of finding a sharer for them both who will help with costs? Good luck whatever you choose.
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I am mid 20's so is the mare, the TB is in 20's to hoonestly like a OAP home in our field!
 
rossiroo said:
I supose that the ideal outcome is to find a person to half-share the T/B so that you could still ride her sometimes and then they could hack out with you when you ride other horse. Idealy they would have a trailer too !!!
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TB can not be ridden by anyone else clause of contract & I only have one saddle at present & the mare can be a real handful hacking alone if you don't know her.
 
Bedlam said:
As both are on loan the ultimate responsibility for both of them is not yours, eventhough you love them both. Equally, either or both of them could be called back off loan at anytime.

I would send the mare back and press on with the one you are getting the most out of. This is the thing with loans, surely? If they were both yours and you could only keep one, then I would say the opposite and tell you to keep the mare. But they aren't yours, and why should you carry on paying out for somebody else's horse into its retirement (which could go on for years) if it's stopping you from doing what you want to do riding wise? It's just not your responsibility. I assume that you have a contract?
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I have got contracts of some sort they are both off good friends & I know what you are saying but I do see them as mine I just didn't pay for them at the start, suppose I am a bit soft. I do not want to feel like I am just handing the mare back because she is know good anymore she is a gem. The other thing is I don't know if I am going to have transport this year so if I keep the TB & then have no transport he is going to go to waste.
 
Cat&Mouse said:
I am mid 20's so is the mare, the TB is in 20's to hoonestly like a OAP home in our field!
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Both the horses are veterans, and their owners, I'm guessing are very happy with the home you give them, so explain the problem and say how you're struggling to afford both of them. Rather than have one returned or have to find a new loaner, they might agree to help with some of the expense, ie; insurance, dentist, jabs, feed -anything that they can afford really, to take some of the pressure off you. No harm in asking.
 
horserider said:
Both the horses are veterans, and their owners, I'm guessing are very happy with the home you give them, so explain the problem and say how you're struggling to afford both of them. Rather than have one returned or have to find a new loaner, they might agree to help with some of the expense, ie; insurance, dentist, jabs, feed -anything that they can afford really, to take some of the pressure off you. No harm in asking.
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Just worried this would back fire on me & they find new homes where they don't have to contribute & I will be left horseless.

As you can tell I am going round in circles!
 
I would keep the TB, as he sounds like he will push your riding on more. And after all we have horses because (in general) we like riding and its our hobby and we pay a helluva lot of money to be able to do it! If you really can't afford both then I would say put all your energy into finding the perfect loan/companion home for your mare, ideally somewhere near - that way when you speak to the actual 'owner' you are not just dumping the horse back on them, you are offering a very good solution at the same time. I think if the owner is a good friend she will understand that you have tried everything to keep the mare but it just isn't possible money wise. We all have to make tough decisions sometimes, I don't envy you at all!
I'm sure there are a lot of people in the world that wouldn't think twice about giving back a loan horse they considered too old/expensive/broken - so its nice to know there are some very compassionate loaners out there who have a sense of responsibilty towards a horse thats done so much for them!
 
Send back the mare and keep the tb.

I know the mare is old, but is still the owners horse, and its not as though you are selling her, she is just going "home".
The Tb you will have more fun on!
 
What about giving both back? As it sounds like you love them both dearly, but then you will not feel like you are choosing one over the other! And then think about not having a horse for a couple of months and save for one of your own (With food,rent,shoes,ect) youll be soon saved up enough, then look for a younger eventer type for you to do your fun with?
 
You say the tb costs a lot to keep (I understand I have one ) so I assume the mare doesn't cost as much so could you give back the tb, keep the mare and get something else that you could compete but would be cheaper to keep?!? My friend has an Irish cob who lives out all year round and costs peanuts to keep and he has just won their riding club show jumping points for last season! Sorry horrible situation to be in, hope you find the solution x
 
Thank you for all your suggestions, I still don't know what to do but I am going to talk to the TB owner first & just let her know my thoughts so if he does have to go back in a few months she has had plenty of warning. You never know she may offer some help towards his keep (keep fingers & toes crossed!)

I have a lot to think about & mull over as I still didn't get the winning numbers on the lottery last night!
 
i would try and find a sharer for the mare, you say she's difficult (or can be) but you could help/advise the sharer on how to handle her. also because someone is sharing doesn't mean they aren't capable of riding/handling tricky horses.

you took her on loan, someone else should be able to handle the issues as well.

good luck.
 
I would speak to both owners. Its not easy to loan a horse out (going off these threads) and to have found someone who genuinely loves the horses and looks after them well is a godsend to the owners I'm sure. If you send the horses back, the owners are going to have to look after them until they find someone else at the least, so I would think that they'd help. Even if they just paid for shoes/your DIY costs, and you paid everything else... At some point an old loan horse is going to return to the owner - thats how it goes - if you loan your horse out it will come to you when it can't be ridden usually (happened to me) and most owners know that they will have to deal with the horse in retirement. Does the mare's owner have any facilities for her to go home and retire?

As someone said, the other option is to get something thats not so expensive as a TB that you could still compete. Besides a cob, a ISH or other TB cross would be much hardier, and cost less. TBs are expensive to keep - more than anything else. It does sound as though you're enjoying the competing, and it would be good for you to continue.
 
I didn't want to be one of those loaners that sends them back when they are broken or too old. The mare isn't ready to retire completely from rding I take her out at lest once a week & she loves it, the main issue is not having two saddles so it would be difficult to get a sharer as I would not be happy them hacking out alone straight away.

I will talk to TB owner first she is likely to be more understanding & see what response I get. I will keep you posted, I have been having to fight back the tears at the thought of parting with either god knows what I will be like if/when it happens!

If I am not going to have any tranport available this year I think that will be a big decided it is pointless me having the TB or any other competition horse if I can't go anywhere to compete, there are only 4 hunt meets I can hack too in winter but nothing within hacking distance during the summer.
 
If you are concerned that it may backfire to approach the owners, decide which one you'd rather keep (the TB?) and speak to the owner of the other one. Besides, if the mare is now mid twenties and practically retired, perhaps the owner will think it is more reasonable to contribute to the upkeep. I would not expect the owner of the TB to contribute, since you can ride and compete him.
 
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