Who is an idiot? *raises hand*

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rachk89

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Going to admit I am a complete idiot who does not learn from her mistakes. Almost 2 years ago, I broke my leg while attempting to get onto an ex racer. Dunno what he got spooked by, but just before I swung my leg over him, he bolted. I went to the ground and landed on both knees somehow but with both of my lower legs spread out sideways (not sure if I dislocated them or not but they did look it), and broke the bone below my knee slightly.

Now since then I've had a slight fear (ok a big fear) of getting onto horses. Refused to let that stop me, but still I dont learn.

Last night, brought my own horse alongside the mounting block. Got him stood still (or so I thought), put my foot in the stirrup and went to jump up. Of course, he walked off. I became unbalanced and fell back to the mounting block, thank god its a massive one. Did he stop? Oh no! He kept on walking and what did I do? I managed to get my foot caught in the stirrup because I am an inflexible idiot.

So there I am, clinging to the saddle, hopping along the mounting block and to the ground eventually when I run out of block, trying to get him to stop, him completely ignoring me and casually continuing on his way. Thankfully, my mum eventually turned round and noticed and grabbed him so I could remove my foot from the stirrup. How that horse didnt freak out I dont know, he is either a saint, or he was just that tired from his first night out in the field.

How does someone manage to do the same stupid thing more than once? It doesnt seem to make a difference on how scared I am about something bad happening, I will still inevitably, do the damn thing again, you know to prove a point? I dont know what that point is, but thats all I can think of. Its not like I dont know how to get onto a horse, after 21 years I think I understand pretty well.

I dont know how people around didnt laugh, think they were too polite because I had doubled over laughing at my incompetence. I wish it had been on video just so I could see it again.

Funnily enough, it has actually helped me gain confidence and trust in my horse, because if it had been the ex racer I did that on, I would be needing a new leg now. My horse however didnt give a damn just carried on walking as if that was normal. I know now that while my horse is still an animal and will be unpredictable, he does look after me when he can and wont hurt me, even when scared. The day before that, he got a major fright at the building works going on beside the outdoor arena when the guys let up some tarpaulin type stuff in the strong winds we had, so of course it made a lot of noise. He did spook, leapt forward, but when I asked him to stop he did even though he was terrified. Before then as well, in the portacabin beside the outdoor arena, someone inside dropped a load of plates just as we walked past. I jumped more than he did, he didnt even notice.

So yeah thank god to my horse being brilliant and very patient with his silly owner despite being a young green boy, and hope that made someone laugh because it cheered me up after a bad day. :)
 
So funnily told, I had tears rolling down my face reading.
I'm an idiot too and falling off before getting on board is a talent I also possess.
Glad you weren't hurt.
 
Last year I forgot to tighten my girth and descended slowly and gracefully to land flat on my back on the floor with my horse peering down at me and everyone at the yard pissing themselves laughing at me. I've only been riding 40 years.
 
I once did the same as you. Horse spooked sideways just as I was getting on. Ended up on the floor but in a 'I'm getting on position'; i.e. Balanced1 on knees and knuckles in a semi crouch. Horse was about 5 foot sideways again.
Fortunately I got away with this with a grazed knee and a couple of bruised fingers. My ego was also considerably dented, but that's a by-the-by really.
 
I have been legged up and sent over the side of my horse before by a friend, she is about 5"2 and tiny and horse is 15hh cob so I have no idea how she sent me clean over the top and down the other side with such force
Very nearly happened again when I had my second attempt at mounting and she tried again to give me a leg up. Don't know why I thought of asking her again when she had already hurled me into the air.

I too have a horse who likes to walk off and leave you hopping, he only does it to me as well! I mount from the ground as I no longer have friend to throw me into the air and he likes to wait until he feels you begin to shift your weight and then he walks off. I have been walked around clinging on like spiderman, with horse looking very pleased with himself a few times. Unfortunately with a mounting block he likes to move every time you line him up. Every time you move him or block he has an itchy leg he must move forward to scratch or as you try and move block over he moves his back end away. And then as soon as you're in a place you can just about reach he decides to begin to take small shuffly steps forward.
No one believes me as he normally stands still and is fine at the block or from the ground for anyone else who rides him.
Once fell getting off a pony too, went from 15.2hh to 13hh and as I dismounted the 13hh lost my balance and went straight over as I was expecting more of a drop!

I don't think its just you OP, but it was good that some good also came out of it!
 
It made me remember my young days - when working racehorses. I'd get back to the yard, a groom would lead the next alongside, and I'd jump from one to the next. Now - getting on requires a mounting block.

The one bit of useful advice I'd give you is to teach your horse to wait for a titbit - once you're in the saddle! Once he gets the idea, only give it once every 3-4 times, otherwise he'll be turning for it while you're mounting.
 
Once, I was getting on my new horse at a new yard to go for a hack the very first time with another livery. My horse turned towards the mounting block just as I was swinging my leg over. I overbalanced and fell straight off down the right shoulder onto the concrete. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me!
 
Lol OP, it only ever happens when someone is watching you! Have done it also, luckily horse just waits :p
I've tried to get on & when have pushed off foot & its left the ground - that's the time when my other foot decides to slip out of the stirrup, que me in a heap on the ground!

I'm definitely questioning earlier decisons I've made - for example, jumping a pony & falling off at the fence, getting back on, repeating this, and then back on for a successful jump. Problem was, I couldn't remember actually falling off twice before :o whoops!
Or the time I had a lunge lesson bareback on a 14.2, who bucked everyone off without exception when being ridden. Of course, I ignored that and still got on him - guess how long I stayed on for?!
 
I fell off the mounting block once, does that count? :D

Horse (Sharp, spooky, WB mare) just looked at me so embarassed. Almost like "Mum! Not infront of my mates!!"

I also fell off once because my last mare did the honest to god slowest spook I have ever sat to in my life. She turned left. I kept going straight. We were both incredibly confused :p
 
I once stood on a gate to get on. Unfortunately I didn't make sure the gate was fastened up properly and as I put my foot in my stirrup and pushed off the gate the gate swung outwards and I managed to get in a position where I'd got one foot in the stirrup and one on the gate splitting me difference......I ended up on the floor flat on my back with a bemused horse looking down at me. I don't even make it onto the horse without falling off.
 
I've fallen getting off. Was riding a horse I hadn't ridden before and the back of the saddle was much higher than I was used to. Flung my leg over as usual, caught it with the back of my knee and ended up flat on my back on the ground. Sooooo embarrassing!
 
I was using a very rickety old mounting block the other day, made out of old planks. Went to spring up, one of the rotten planks crumbled under the pressure (it was on its last legs, I'm not THAT fat) and ended up sitting on the rest of the mounting block with my backside stuck in the hole created by the newly vacated plank and foot stuck in my stirrup. Luckily M just stared at me like I'd just suggested eating a baby and didn't move.
 
I used one of those white plastic chairs to mount, my foot went right through it and i tipped over backwards and landed on my bum. The horse just stood there with a surprised look on his face. So not only am i an idiot I am a fat idiot!!!:D
 
The one and only time I have fallen off Mr T in 7 years of ownership is opening the gate to leave the yard one time - I misjudged it and slowly plopped to the ground on my back between bemused horse and gate. Doh.
 
I am an idiot too. After teenage years riding naughty ponies, I only put my foot in the stirrup to mount if I know the horse well - I kind of vault instead. Works wonders for the big horse who doesn't understand mounting blocks, and is (I'm told) excellent for taking bets as to whether I'll make it from the little wall, across the pavement, and onto the pratting TB or I'll belly flop in disgrace :D
 
I did a good one at work. Picture 17hh horse, Dennis, and I am mounting from the floor.

Dennis was a fantastic Police Horse, fearless in the face of traffic, crowds, fireworks and flags, but not very nice in the yard. He would nip when he could, and even developed a habit of stepping deliberately sideways to tread on your toe if he thought he could get away with it. He was a rascal, did many tricks like let new, inexperienced people into the stable, but then not let them out again. He once nudged the gardener down the embankment into the river, then stole his strimmer. He mounted the Poover. He stole the lunch of some workmen who came to put up a fair ground ride for our open day, out of their car, through the window.

Because of this I was allocated Dennis for 6 months, to teach some manners in a consistent way. I thought I had struck gold, as he was probably the most reliable horse on the streets.

So, mounting in the yard...I lined everything up well, got my left foot into the stirrup, am getting ready to hop around, and sadly Dennis saw my moment of weakness.

Dennis stepped sideways, landing on my right foot that was on the floor.

So there I was, left leg straining in the stirrup, right leg trapped under Dennis, mouth screaming at the pain of Dennis on my toe. Dennis then realised that I was possibly in reach of his mouth.

Happily my colleagues only doubled up for a moment or two before coming to my aid, and shifting Dennis the Menace (Hence his name!!!).

Yeah, I thought I was the horse trainer, but Dennis was one better than me that day!
 
I got off on a hack to post a letter so I cleverly thought of standing on a stone to pop back on. Left foot in stirrup and the stone slipped, so I fell right on my bum. Luckily my foot slid out of the stirrup because I gave the poor young horse I was trying to mount a real fright.

I also fell getting off. Disaster of a hack, my friend had fallen off a mile back, both horses were galloping for home when a tractor blocked us in a driveway and they paused. They were both facing home and eager to be off again so I tried to get off on the right hand side so as not to be trampled if they took off again. I was half way out the saddle when the tractor drove off, the horses saw a clear run and took off and I fell and twisted my ankle. Sounds minor but I was in pain for months, couldn't walk/drive, etc.
 
sallyg said:
Last year I forgot to tighten my girth and descended slowly and gracefully to land flat on my back on the floor with my horse peering down at me and everyone at the yard pissing themselves laughing at me. I've only been riding 40 years.
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Done that with a newly broke 4 year old - luckily she was pretty unflappable and didn't move!
 
Brilliant stories guys made me feel better about my stupidity. And I have also fallen off when being given a leg up sent straight over the horse.*
 
Once had a lesson with a nice but real no nonsense instructor (who is luckily, or unluckily, also a friend...).

It was a pants lesson. I couldn't do anything right despite instructors best attempts. My Dizzy Blonde wasn't being particularly helpful, but that was often her way and I was well used to it, I was just riding like a lump.

Anyhow, got to the end of the lesson and finally the Dizz stood still and reasonably square and I thought "Yeah, time to get off. At least I can do this bit!" (yes, it really had been that bad). As it turns out, I couldn't... I landed on the ground and with almost great grace fell backwards and ended up sprawled on the school surface.

The look on instructor's face said more than a thousand words, even the Dizz looked me up and down in silent bemusement.

Ah well.
 
I forgot to tighten the girth before re-mounting on hack. Big mistake, huge! Mare didn't suffer fools and my committed mount resulted in me hanging off the side whilst she bronked. I broke my hip.

I am now very cautious mounting - new schools and blocks give me the fear! Since bringing my current riding horse home from livery (where she was backed), my block has (more than once) almost resulted in me missing my horse (it's much higher than I had in livery). I've also messed about so much getting on, my mare has literally turned round to look at me as if to say "just get on, you wuss"!! Safe to say it's a work in progress!
 
MrsMozart said:
Once had a lesson with a nice but real no nonsense instructor (who is luckily, or unluckily, also a friend...).

It was a pants lesson. I couldn't do anything right despite instructors best attempts. My Dizzy Blonde wasn't being particularly helpful, but that was often her way and I was well used to it, I was just riding like a lump.

Anyhow, got to the end of the lesson and finally the Dizz stood still and reasonably square and I thought "Yeah, time to get off. At least I can do this bit!" (yes, it really had been that bad). As it turns out, I couldn't... I landed on the ground and with almost great grace fell backwards and ended up sprawled on the school surface.

The look on instructor's face said more than a thousand words, even the Dizz looked me up and down in silent bemusement.

Ah well.
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Brilliant! Loved that!
 
Ceriann said:
I forgot to tighten the girth before re-mounting on hack. Big mistake, huge! Mare didn't suffer fools and my committed mount resulted in me hanging off the side whilst she bronked. I broke my hip.

I am now very cautious mounting - new schools and blocks give me the fear! Since bringing my current riding horse home from livery (where she was backed), my block has (more than once) almost resulted in me missing my horse (it's much higher than I had in livery). I've also messed about so much getting on, my mare has literally turned round to look at me as if to say "just get on, you wuss"!! Safe to say it's a work in progress!
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My horse did that when i first got him. He would fidget at the mounting block for ages to put me off getting on to him. Then he would turn his head to look at me like "ok since you are terrified I will stand still now will you get on you coward?" and then he stood perfectly still didn't move an inch. Horses eh?
 
I fell off a quad bike getting on a horse.
I had taken a large-ish young horse hunting. I managed to fall off which surprised me, as I hadn't fell off in twenty five years. I hung on to my reins - which snapped - so I had a walk of shame past a massive field who had pulled up for me. I collected my horse and knotted my reins. A very kindly member of hunt staff asked a guy who was following on a quad (shutting gates etc.) if I could get back on the horse by stepping on the quad. He said fine, but I'm not holding the horse, I don't like horses! The horse was a bit wound up by now and as I put my foot in the stirrup he started messing about and shot backward into electric fence; shocked on the ass, he took an enormous leap forward, hauling me into mid air and off the quad bike.
I landed on the same ankle - I decided an X-ray might be required, made my apologies, and made my way back to the horse box - red faced!
 
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