Whose OH was horsey before you met them...

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KatB

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And how did you ever manage to fit in seeing each other?! :p

Sorry I know it's more of a soapbox question, but I "know" you all more in here ;)

Just a ponder really. I know how busy I am juggling horse/work/life, so if you are seeing someone equally as tight for time, how did/do you manage it?! :D
 
Not mine - and he still isn't!

We used to fit in seeing each other round both our interests - mine horses, his biking, squash, golf.

But now we live together and he knows that having a horse is the only thing that keeps me vaguely nice to live with - so he'll suffer me getting up early in the winter, smelling of horse wee and spending my sundays in the cold somewhere. He has his interests, I have mine. We meet in the middle sometimes for drinking and snowboarding which are common interests, but otherwise we're happy to support the other and get on with our own thing :)

I did get him on a horse once in Egypt, and all he wanted to go was go as fast as possible :rolleyes: which would have been acheivable if he'd been able to steer :D
 
Mine co-owns a yard so is very horsey!! When we met i was at uni, and he had just graduated and running the yard / teaching. So very busy, now ive graduated, ive moved in and work on the yard for a lack of graduate jobs.
Before seeing each other was very hard, he doesnt get days off, horses are a 7 day a week job, so time off doesnt really exist.
Its very difficult, but i know what horses are about, and it means i get to work with them, and get my own, but it is still hard not being able to go out or even cuddle up on the sofa for the morning / evening.

But thats life ey!!
 
Mine had a horsey girlfriend before which helped so he understood but I do not think he expected to be dragged in like he has! Slowly he has got more involved and he really enjoys the eventing and will tolerate dressage but loathes show jumping due to the waiting around. I also persuaded him to buy a horse to give him a personal interest ;) He loves Badminton and had a wonderful time at Barbury in the sponsors tent! But we rarely go on holiday and at the moment that is annoying him as winter is impossible and he has to fit around horsey plans. I am also always broke which annoys him but he knows that if I was not riding I would be doing something else.
 
Mine was, he had a little sod of a pony when he was about 5 :)

Neither of us had horses when we met...now we have three, spend all our time with the horses or at his house so never any worry of having to spread time out....

We tend to have the same interests, dogs, walking, outdoors stuff (well i like it when its dry) he`s teaching me to surf...

He tends to have a boys holiday skiing every year which I dont have a problem with...means i get more horses to ride :P

I rarely go out and neither does he, hang overs and horses dont work :)
 
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We have a deal! I spend hols with him and one day each weekend with him and one with horse. I go into my man overdraft hugely in the summer and spend both days of my weekends with my horse, but I make it up by spending whole weekends with the man in the winter. He comes to my events too and wanders about telling me that my jumps are very small. Then he slopes off to pro-spot and tells me that "Piggy French rode this fence like that. You should do the same thing."
 
Mine was and it works very well because we ride together and spend all our time at the yard. He never complains about the car being a mobile tack room and loves the smell of horses, so I save a fortune on perfume. He's also pretty good at maintenance and enjoys clipping. Perfeck.
 
Mine isn't he once got on my horse with someone else when I wasn't looking and I heard him screaming from the indoor school because she was cantering around and wouldn't stop. She was 6 then and is 17 now and last month I finally got him on her again (on the lead rein :D)!

In fact our family is a family of two halves, me and daughter with the horses and them with motorcross (I know lots of horsey friends whose other halves do Motorsport of some sort and it seems to fit quite well). Basically we hardly see the boys at weekends but it works well, as have been married for 20 years ;).

Think it is good to have separate hobbies most of the time, but occasionally I wish he was a vet or a farrier so I could save myself a fortune :)
 
Was not but I have done a good conversion job!!!

He also now knows a lot about eventing!!! Some comments are actaully good observations.

He likes to be involved so certain jobs (such as studs) have become his when I do compete and he rides another horse on the yard once a week.

However even with all that you need someone that has their own interests otherwise with all of the time you spend with the horse it will never work!!!!!

I tend to try and do the minimum when he is "waiting" at home and on the nights / weekends he is off doing other things catch up on jobs etc, he also travels with work so when I have a week on my own I OD on horses!!!
 
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Interesting stuff! Amazing how many "non horsey" men are converted... :p

I've got a friend ( ;) ) who is in a horsey profession, but both of us seem to be very busy, so finding time to catch up is very short... just wandered how people do it :D
 
KatB said:
Interesting stuff! Amazing how many "non horsey" men are converted... :p

I've got a friend ( ;) ) who is in a horsey profession, but both of us seem to be very busy, so finding time to catch up is very short... just wandered how people do it :D
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I didn't realise he had become a 'friend' ;) Must take a closer look at him next time......:rolleyes: :D
 
The trick to having enough time is to get one of those Lumie alarm clocks so that you're not knackered all the time (they raise your cortisol properly in the morning so you have enough energy), get your thyroid checked and then be really disciplined about not letting the horses suck up all your time and energy... Easier said than done but now that I'm working like a mad thing all the time, I just try and prioritise. It's hard enough to make a relationship work without always having to say to the bewildered male that he basically has to come second or third to your ponies all the time. Some of the time, fine - just not all of the time! And I'd feel that way about a horsey guy too - I would not be best pleased to always be stood up because of the horses!
 
Mine isn't and wasn't. I can't decide if that's a bad thing.

I think with a horsey man it would be nice as they would understand the time and effort horses take and you could indulge yourself in horses together.

Myself liking horses and my OH not being interested does mean we spend time apart :(

However I think the time issue is not just related to a horsie man and woman but any man or woman that has a demanding job. My OH's profession takes him to the city for a few days a week and we often spend nights apart because he has meetings in London and I have to stay in Hampshire and look after the horses. I like my space but then he does get upset that I can't dedicate myself to him more.

I honestly don't know how couples manage to spend time together when they both work full time, have kids and horses! Nightmare! Especially if one is horsie and one isn't.

Maybe be glad that this friend has the same passion as you :). Horses are never 9-5 but at least you can have romantic rides out together and go competing and stuff together ;).

Btw my OH doesn't mind me doing the horses but I know he wishes that we shared a hobby more. He loves my horse (he brought him!) but he is just not interested like real horsie people are :)
 
Mine wasn't, and was a proper townie. He used to drive me to shows, hold horses and that was that. He learned to ride so that he could be competent enough to hack a quiet horse if he wanted to but only rides about 4 times a year (for which my old mare is eternally grateful!). He can muck out, do water, hay, bring in, rugs etc but he prefers not to. He does understand how much the horses take over your life and I have compromised in a few areas, I tend to find getting up early so I can ride etc before work helps, it means we get to spend our evenings together (and I haven't got to get motivated to ride when it is cold and dark!). I also include him in any socials that I know he will enjoy.
Planning, organisation and compromise are the key things.
 
Mine wasn't at all!!! His comment were to stay away from them as they were dangerous at both ends!!!

We worked together, so saw each other all day LOL!!!

We moved in pretty quick together (but i had worked with him for over a year!) and then it was a lot easier as he just started to muck in and help. It does help if they are outdoorsy and enjoy messing around outside, he often came out riding on his bike etc, which he loved as all off road on the bridleways and good company for me. He's very well trained now and brilliant at handling my big horse on the ground, from a dually etc and will muck out etc if he has too!!! Most of the time he's pottering about on the tractor doing jobs, but that means he's very much about on the yard which is nice at w'ends.

He loves coming to events, hunting, but hates dressage so i go this one alone ;-p !!!

He'd love to hunt, but he can't ride at the moment (minor detail apparently!) but i fear i'd loose my horse.............

6 years on, married and he's still enjoying it and he's actually brilliant with the horses ;-) I couldn't work like this and do everything if it wasn't for his support, bless him! Anyway now we're married, he owns half of them!! I only remind him about this when its time to poo pick!!!! ;-)
 
I only met mine because his horse is kept on the same yard.

He has a horse, but isn't into competing etc, his horse is a big pet really that gets hacked out occasioanlly, thoroughly spoilt etc.
 
Mine isnt at all - sometimes at a push he might come to the yard with me and pat my two! But thats about it. He does want to be with me to watch when Bloss's foal is born though, so i guess thats some form of interest :D

We live together (have done for nearly 2 years now) and most of that time i've not actually really had a horse to ride, they have always been on full livery (apart from riding) aswell - I sold Archie about 3months in to our relationship, not because of the fact i was with him but because i could no longer afford to keep 3 horses. Bloss was still out on loan at that point. Then when i got her back from loan and we moved yards i rode her 4 times a week as she had just been put in foal. Now im only at the yard Tuesday and Thursday evenings and once on the weekend (as shes 6 months pregnant now). Sometimes im not home til late those nights as i teach and i can be out all day at the weekend if teaching but he dosent mind as he knows the teaching brings in the money (!) and he occupies himself anyway.

I actually prefer it that he dosent come to the yard as its ''my'' interest, not his!!
 
I had a relationship with a man who competed in the same discipline as me, and, while there were good sides, in reality it was tough. Going to shows together was fun at the beginning (kisses and cuddles in the lorry etc) but once that phase had run its course it was hard work. He was competitive, as am I, but he would take it really personally if I did better than him. He also used to second guess me in the warmup a lot, which killed my confidence ("why are you doing that?" etc.)

Time wise, we did try very hard to keep it sensible and both be in for dinner at 7.30 for example, and it helped that I kept my horse on his yard. But when we broke up it was a nightmare and I had to do a midnight flit to get my horse and tack, and left £100s worth of stuff behind.

:(
 
Mine likes my horse. He feels that she is slightly "his", as we were together when I made the decision to buy her. He leads her and holds her and I once found him very manfully trying to put her headcollar on. He likes that I have an interest, BUT we also climb, ski, mountain bike and do triathlons together.
 
KatB said:
And how did you ever manage to fit in seeing each other?! :p

Sorry I know it's more of a soapbox question, but I "know" you all more in here ;)

Just a ponder really. I know how busy I am juggling horse/work/life, so if you are seeing someone equally as tight for time, how did/do you manage it?! :D
Click to expand...

My O/H is kind of horsey! He works at a large equestrian competition centre as a groundsman. That's how I met him - ten years ago when I asked him if I could nick some of the broken show jump poles that were lying around the back of the arena and he helped load them into my trailer and we got chatting and the rest as they say is history. On the plus side I've found it quite good as he helps me with my jumping and tells me in advance of any competitions or arena hire that I may want to book and I've met some 'famous people' through him also! We do a lot together to help the club, like we both walk the ground regularly looking for people up to mischief or trespassers, I sometimes help him build tracks and we help each other with locking gates at night on the premises. On the negative side he is often called away during the day and evening to help with cast horses, sound systems that won't work and horseboxes that need towing off the fields and spends a lot of his time in the evenings on his computer compiling course plans as he builds a lot of the show jumping tracks for the centre. I love the big premier shows that the centre hold as its nice to go and spectate as a couple and get involved in the atmosphere especially as he lives on site. But sometimes this can be a hindrance, when there is a busy show on and you need to get to the house it can be a nightmare negotiating big horse boxes, competitors dogs and horses and riders and of course a lot of his time is taken up with working long hours during these times which means I don't see much of him then.

I don't get any perks like free arena hire or anything but very occassionally I will ask him if he can turn a filler around in the arena if I help him build a track the day before a competition I'm jumping in, if I know my horse won't like the jump!! LOL .
 
Mine was a semi-pro bodybuilder competing at national level, so hours spent in the gym - he was really happy i didn't mind him going to the gym for hours. :D

Also his sport was far more expensive than horses so I get away with spending whatever I want. He qualified for Mr Britain for the 3rd year running but the comp was 2 weeks after, so to keep his condition for those two weeks cost us £500, that was just food, proteins and vitamin supplements.

Now he has Shiney he spends far less money on his hobby. :D
 
mine is not horsey at all but is very into the gym (does weight-lifting and is a personal trainer) so it is quite nice that we are both busy and it isn't one person sat at home waiting for the other one all the time!

he comes to the yard maybe 4 or 5 times a year to pat the horses and came to one event this year under duress but doesn't really enjoy it at all.

having had a very horsey boyfriend before I thought it would be great but used to be quite annoying (particularly as he was quite a high level eventer); he used to give me 'helpful' hints all of the time and some sarky comments and while that is fine from a trainer, not so fun when it is someone you see away from the horses.
 
Yeah can completely see the attraction in having an OH that has another time consuming hobby :D Sounds like horsey people aren't always compatible, which I can completely understand...and horsey men do seem to have a reputation at being a bit unpredictable! lol!

applecart lol at the changing fences around!! :D
 
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