Why am i such a nervous wreck advice please!!

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katieibiza

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i have recently just got my new horse gymbo after 5 year break and he is adorable but i am such a nervous wreck when it comes to riding him i dont know wether it is because he is very big and over powering but i dont think he knows he is 17.2 bless him. he is brilliant on the ground to do everything and great lunging him but i go into a nervous wreck when i think about riding him and i sit there and think come on he hasn't done anything wrong just get on and get on with it but it's a different matter actually doing it
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I feel so stupid and a faliure i rode him before i got him and he was really well behaved and rode him in my field once but only walked him. and just up the road locally. the thought of going out of my yard on him on my own make me go to jelly. i am fine handling him on the ground and never show my nerves when riding him.
What should i do how can i overcome the fear??

sorry so long .
 
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but i go into a nervous wreck when i think about riding him and i sit there and think come on he hasn't done anything wrong just get on and get on with it but it's a different matter actually doing it

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I know exactly how you feel - you could have been describing me 5 months ago - when I first got Thumper.

I think a lot of us go through this when we get a new horse, and you've been away from the 'game' for 5 years - so give yourself a break.

Just make sure you get on him every day. Don't allow yourself to find excuses not to. And go out with a friend - you don't have to hack on your own until you feel confident to do so.

Chin up - he sounds lovely.
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Hiya

We all get nervous when we get a new horse.. who wouldnt.. just try and take one day at a time, set yourself small achievable goals.. like.. "today gonna walk to the end of the lane" be it its only a 5 min walk you set a goal and you achieved it.. just keep doing this and before you know it you'll be off wondering for hours... Just go slow and within your comfort zone.. Deep breaths etc before you get on.. you'll be fine..

Remember its a 2 way thing.. I'm sure your new horse is worried about its new rider as well... Its great fun bonding with a new horse .. Go on enjoy yourself!!
 
Agree with AmyMay - I've been through this too (recently and loads of times before! lol) and I haven't got the excuse of having a long break!
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Just get on - even if you only go for a wander down the driveway or round the yard. You will soon start to build your confidence as you clock up occasions where he has been good
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Watch what you are feeding as well, if he isn;t doing much work, so he doens't get too lively
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I'm sure you'll be fine in a few weeks time and will wonder what all the fuss was about - good luck
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Have you got anyone to ride out with. I think anyone would be a bit nervous taking a new horse out alone for the first few times.
I too had a five year break before buying another horse, thats many years ago now but I remember buying and wanting a horse with a bit more 'go' in it and I ended up frightenning myself to death. My previous horse had been a bomb proof plod, I was then a teenager and after my break I fancied what I'd always wanted as a teenager. Its amazing how as you get a bit older you seem to realise the fears and dangers more, look at my stupid fear of dogs out hacking
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ah thanks amymay, really nice to hear i am not the only one who goes through this. My freind where i keep him they have been fine for the last week since i got him but yesterday and today they have been fighting a bit so scared to go out with her and mossy in case he takes off with me see i cant win with my nerves i think i dont want to go out on my own but if i go out with my friend and her t/b i worrie about getting taken off with ????
 
I was in the same position as you about 8 yrs ago.
I bought a lovely mare called Honey after having a 4 year break from horses.
I used to feel sick with nerves when I had to ride and like you felt a complete failure.
After a few lessons and alot of determination I eventually got my nerve back.
Just stick at it and take things slowly, you'll get there in the end.!!!!!
Good luck!!!
 
Why not book some lessons (perhaps on the lunge to start with) that way you've got someone to guide and encourage you as you get to know each other.
 
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Watch what you are feeding as well, if he isn;t doing much work, so he doens't get too lively
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i am feeding him on hi fi original and quiet cubes does this sound ok????

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It's probably fine - just keep an eye on him and if he starts to get livelier than usual cut his cubes down. He should be fine on that though
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So long as he isn't having bucket loads
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I just mentioned it because if the horses workload drops it's easy to forget about cutting hard feed and can make them a bit more energetic, which I doubt you want! lol
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I really feel for you...I lost my nerve totally once...
What helped me was having friends to support me...and an instructor to tell me to get on with it!!! It really helped me to see someone else on my horse...so I saw it wasnt that bad...felt jealous and wanted to get on myself rather than someone else ride her!!!!
It is a good idea to give yourself little goals as mentioned above and I spent time having lessons and going in the school - so I was concentrating on things rather than my mind wandering...also so I could get the feel and learn about my horse.
The trouble is we can sit there and think 'what if this happens or that happens' so we are already thinking negatively and our brains go into overdrive. Someone once told me to sing a favourite song as I was riding...preferably not at the top of my voice..otherwise you get funny looks!!

Once you get used to your horse it will all seem like nothing...it doesnt happen instantly but as you grow a bond with your horse you will think nothing but how lucky you are!!!

He looks gorgeous by the way!
 
Would second the lessons thing. Any chance you could get a few lessons with a sensitive teacher. You could also ask her/him to walk with you down the road as part of the lesson at the end. There is a very nervous lady at our yard and she is much better if someone else is there just to talk about something else - birds, weather whatever - as it just takes the intensity out of it and before you know it you are at the end of the road and nothing disastrous has happened. Perhaps also better someone on foot then the worry about the other horse making things worse will go away. You could even go on the leadrein - what the hell if it makes you feel better....
 
Have you tried hypnotheraphy? It really worked for me - I had one session with a hypnotheraphist and they gave me a tape to play before I ride. Before it I used to sometimes just sit on my horse in the corner of the field and cry because I couldnt face cantering/jumping him (he was the quietiest sanest cob in the world and my fears were totally irrational). I still listen to the tape occasionally if I am stressed out but only maybe now once every six months or so and I now have a not so sane 5 year old to ride!!!

Good luck with it.
 
Things that have helped me are 1 a good suportative instructor. Mine has ridden my horse for the first few minutes sometimes so I can see he is safe.2 Getting to know horse and building up a bond on the ground. 3 Read Kelly Marks book on confidence. Its sucha good laugh apart from anything else. Always helps!!!! But full of common sense and good advice as well.
 
hi I was the same when I first got George, he is my first horse and pretty big as well (16.3) and I think it just threw me, despite riding him loads before I bought him. I booked regular lessons and found someone to ride out with which really helped. Good luck.
 
I've just got a new 6 year old, after 4 years of riding my wonderful older horse who I trusted completely. I knew I wasn't the most confident of riders, but have reverted to being nervous like you since getting my new horse. I've had him 6 weeks and he hasn't put a foot wrong. My instructor has been brilliant, she knows I am nervous, but has had some training in mental training techniques so I am not allowed to say "I am nervous" any more, but must say I am confident. A lot of the problems are in the mind. The day after I got him, my OH walked with me round a short safe lane hack. Since then, I have been round that hack many times on my own. Now I am confident on that route, my dear OH came round another hack with me yesterday. So I'm building our confidence in each other bit by bit, without pushing it. I've given myself the winter to get to know him, and build confidence and fitness together. The horse doesn't know that it should be doing anything else, and time spent building a trusting and happy relationship now will be worthwhile once spring arrives. Good luck, you are not alone!
 
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