why are people so bitchy about rich horsey people?!

I do wonder how it is possible for so many Brits to be in so much debt (I am thinking of people close to me, OH's family etc) considering how much they earn and how little they spend for 'essentials'! But I guess *a lot* of British people (more so than on the Continent) spend a fortune on their 'social life'.

As for the insurance in Italy, ahahahaa possibly :P But even so, it's such a significant difference! See, I *am* jealous of Brits who have fully comp and don't even know how lucky they are :D
 
I think there is such a borrowing culture in the UK. People borrow off credit cards and loans when they cannot afford to pay it back.
Staff in our high street banks get paid commission for making ordinary people take out loans and they try and sell you a loan even if you go in just to change your address or something.

I see adverts for quick money like 'Quick Quid' on the T.V and it makes me squirm. They encourage people who are desperate to borrow money and get it immediatly at a rate of 2,700%APR. Lets face it anyone willing to borrow money at that rate are either stupid or seriously seriously desperate and if they are that desperate for cash how on earth do they pay it all back?!

Us Britons do spend a lot on their social life. I'd rather ride my horse but I have friends who go out partying in London nearly every night and are broke because of it.

Or mortgages, where I live £250,000 buys you a 2 bedroom terrace house. Loads of people have to take out really large mortgages just to get on the property ladder.. nightmare!!

I do agree that the continent is more expensive for some things. I remember paying £10 for a coffee in Austria!
 
I am jealous of anyone born to a life of leisure. It's not the money, it's the freedom it brings I crave.

Sadly, I come from a long line of paupers and am following the family tradition.
 
Yep, and now expensive goods (cars, TVs etc) can be bought on HP, which is even more tempting for people who can't really afford those things, then get locked into large monthly repayments.

As for me, I used to have fully comp insurance, but then my car was written off. Now I have 3rd party because the excess on my insurance is only £100 less than my 'new' car is worth!
 
I couldnt care less about designer horsy equipment, personally i always look for bargains, use stuff until it wears out, i have rugs which are 15yrs old or more!

I needed a new breastplate recently, got a lovely one of ebay for £7.00 second hand. Umm could have bought a new 5 point for what, £200?... The question is would it have made my horse any better, across country? NO!! (and £200 goes towards quite a few lessons :))

I won my first B.E. event last year, and do you know what, i looked around at all the money and wealth in front of me, and do you think i was jealous?? No way, cos id just come out and beat them all!!!

Everyone take a deep breath, keep working and striving for what you have got and want to improve, and be gratefull!

I have always kept my horses of a shoestring, come from a compleately non horsey, non wealthy background, and im happy with my lot!
 
dressager said:
I think horse owning in the UK is pretty flexible as Halfstep said. We have DIY field livery to schooling livery, it's not that difficult to rent a yard or buy property with equestrian facilities.
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I agree, I was born and raised in the US. I think it varies a lot depending on which part of the country you're in, but where I'm from I could NEVER have afforded one horse for my daughter, let alone 2, and I am always mindful of that and that is why I will never go back there to live.

In my part of the US, there were no DIY liveries etc, it was all Hunter/Jumper training barns and even these were quite far from us. Unless you knew someone with their own farm or land (I didn't) the travelling distances were prohibitive. My parents just couldn't afford to encourage me and though I tried to cycle/bus to work in the closest places it didn't work out and I resigned myself to a horseless lifestyle.

Even after we moved to the UK in the mid 80s I just presumed it was the same here and I never even tried. When my daughter took an interest in horses I thought I could at least phone around and see what it would cost to get some lessons for her and I was amazed and delighted at how accessible horses were in terms of cost and location and now we have a very horsey life for which I am always grateful (even when I am grumbling about it)
 
I just want to add though that with rising house prices putting pressure on family incomes and, expansion of towns maybe eating into the DIY farm places I think you will see horses becoming more unobtainable for future generations
 
I'm going to come at this from a slightly different angle.
Firstly, I am fully aware I'm extremely lucky to have parents who have the funds to spend on my hobby, and that they (espescially my mum) are willing to help me every week and put up with Eventing taking over their life March-Oct!

I have a couple of Nice young horses, a Lorry and they pay for us to go out every weekend without question. I've been brought up always knowing that when I left school I'd have to choose between making a living out of horses and going to uni. I'm currently doing my last exams, will have a gap year while eventing/working then decide what to do. I'm so appreciative of the start I've had, but I both myself and my parents know I should now start to support myself.

Unfortunately, people don't see this, they see a 18 year old girl ( but people say I look 14 :| great thanks!) with everything she could want. And unfortunately yes, they're jealous. But everyone gets jealous a little, I may have the material things I want but I have no confidence in my SJ and if I could swap something for it.. I would! I'm jealous of people who get 'easy clears'.
 
I think just reading your post, the only thing im jealous of is having people (such as parents) to support you, i have lovely friends whom, we all rally round and help each other at shows and things, but i would long for some family support. Its tough doing it by yourself and noone to share your passion!
 
I have nothing sensible to add really, its all kind of been said, but this thread reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a particularly snobby horse snob who seemed surprised when I told her I worked - her responce was 'how very modern of you dear, and what does your husband think of this?' I said I've always paid half of everything and wouldnt expect anyone else to finance my expensive hobby, plus husband and I are separated so I like that Ive kept my independence she then pulled a funny face and said ' well choose more wisely in future, and make sure the next one is rich!'

it upset me a bit at the time, because I was in a room full of very rich, (mostly snobby) horsey people, and I thought god this women feels sorry for me?? I like my job, I like having my own money, of course I would love to not work, and spend all my time with my boys but am not entirely sure I'd like to rely on a man to pay my bills - Ive always said I'll be with some because I want to be with them, not because I need to be.
 
lexibell said:
I have nothing sensible to add really, its all kind of been said, but this thread reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a particularly snobby horse snob who seemed surprised when I told her I worked - her responce was 'how very modern of you dear, and what does your husband think of this?' I said I've always paid half of everything and wouldnt expect anyone else to finance my expensive hobby, plus husband and I are separated so I like that Ive kept my independence she then pulled a funny face and said ' well choose more wisely in future, and make sure the next one is rich!'

it upset me a bit at the time, because I was in a room full of very rich, (mostly snobby) horsey people, and I thought god this women feels sorry for me?? I like my job, I like having my own money, of course I would love to not work, and spend all my time with my boys but am not entirely sure I'd like to rely on a man to pay my bills - Ive always said I'll be with some because I want to be with them, not because I need to be.
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Sounds like she was veerrrryyyyyy old :D
 
Last year I had the taste of my ultimate lifestyle - I went to the US with my OH for a few months - stuck my horse out on loan, arranged a deal with a yard where I worked in exchange for training, and I had several months off work being supported by my OH whilst getting some amazing training and playing with horses. It was tough physical labour - think being out and about in temps between -12 and -25 (one of my jobs was spending a couple of hours cracking ice out of buckets), but it was amazing. If my OH didn't mind supporting me and I could do that over here I totally would, stuff what anyone says! Sure I'm intelligent and financially independent, but I had a complete ball with no lifestyle compromises (we went on holiday to San Fransisco, Yosemite, Giant Sequoia Park, Grand Canyon, Vegas and had a week snowboarding in Vermont, plus also spent long weekends in Chicago and Boston), ate out, had a generally fabulous time. I'm really really jealous of anyone who can do that all the time, I'd give up running my own business and being financially independent in a flash to live like that again. Trouble is, husband now thinks it is his turn to be a kept man - damn those feminists!
 
Just to add to the debate about the UK being relatively cheap to live, I have to agree wholeheartedly!!

I'm in Moscow at the moment, and yes, utilities are a lot cheaper, but everything else is at LEAST twice the price - for instance, I paid £8 for a mango in my local supermarket, and a small jar of pasta sauce... almost £5!! To buy a completely rancid bottle of UK 'cheap' wine will set you back easily £15.... For clothing, I went in to Oasis / Topshop and everything was at least 33% more expensive than the UK - the labels even had the UK prices on them so I could compare directly. And for the horses..

For a start, I am yet to find a DIY livery!!! The costs are as follows:

- Livery = £1100 per month (this includes oats and barley as the feed, museli (i.e our competition mix etc needs to be imported at a very high price... that's if you can get it through customs)
- Shoes - £100 per month
- Grooms wage (can't not have a groom) - £100 per month
- Training costs - £400 per month

Price of horse related clothing/ accessories = ridiculous!!!

As I mentioned that I had evented / hunted in the UK, I think that they now assume that I am an of Royal descent! Hardly anyone events here as it is so expensive... not just the cost of the events, but the training needed to get a horse around a XC course.

Oh how I wish I was back in the UK :o( It makes you realise how lucky we are to have such a good amateur system set up (BE/BSJA etc) and how relatively cheap it is to other countries. I could keep 5 horses on DIY in the UK compared to keeping one here in Moscow - it's just ridiculous.

So yes, maybe get a little jealous of people with all the bling and new gadgets etc, but please keep it in mind that you are lucky to have things so accessible to you for a relatively cheap price!!
 
Quick reply as too many pages to read: Definitely jealousy and the hope that it's a case of "all the gear, no idea"!!

On another point though, what would the forum do if you stopped shopping?? You're like the HHO Gok Wan (or whatever his name is)!!!
 
I don't have anything against people who have nice horses, nice gear etc, especially where it's worked for or appreciated, fair play to them.
What I do gripe about is those people who take it for granted/look down at the rest of us who don't have the latest shiney new things, when there are so many of us who work our butts off to keep ourselves and horse/s going.
(I had a customer today who had just been bought a sj-er for just shy of £25k by a friend. And she couldn't have cared less. I had to bite my tongue on that one I have to say!)
 
chaps89 said:
What I do gripe about is those people who take it for granted/look down at the rest of us who don't have the latest shiney new things, when there are so many of us who work our butts off to keep ourselves and horse/s going.
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This- I was looked down on by so many liveries because I didn't have my own pony. I would have been perfectly fine with them if they had been less damn snobby :( Certainly if I had the money I'd want the nice gear, after all what you do with your own money is your own business.
 
lexibell said:
I have nothing sensible to add really, its all kind of been said, but this thread reminds me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a particularly snobby horse snob who seemed surprised when I told her I worked - her responce was 'how very modern of you dear, and what does your husband think of this?' I said I've always paid half of everything and wouldnt expect anyone else to finance my expensive hobby, plus husband and I are separated so I like that Ive kept my independence she then pulled a funny face and said ' well choose more wisely in future, and make sure the next one is rich!'

it upset me a bit at the time, because I was in a room full of very rich, (mostly snobby) horsey people, and I thought god this women feels sorry for me?? I like my job, I like having my own money, of course I would love to not work, and spend all my time with my boys but am not entirely sure I'd like to rely on a man to pay my bills - Ive always said I'll be with some because I want to be with them, not because I need to be.
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They're a dying breed.
Conversely, they sound like the jealous ones to me. Nothing is free in life - once you're trapped in that situation, your lifestyle is in essence held to ransom by staying with someone you might not want to stay with. I know a lady in her 80s who has always emphasised to me the importance of being independent. That way you are able to sing your own tune, and can never be held hostage by anyone. Wonder what this lot actually have to do to make sure OHs stays sweet and the cheques stay signed. This lot you were talking to know your body and mind aren't beholden to anyone and I suspect they envy that. As I say, nothing in life is free.
 
Bab said:
They're a dying breed.
Conversely, they sound like the jealous ones to me. Nothing is free in life - once you're trapped in that situation, your lifestyle is in essence held to ransom by staying with someone you might not want to stay with. I know a lady in her 80s who has always emphasised to me the importance of being independent. That way you are able to sing your own tune, and can never be held hostage by anyone. Wonder what this lot actually have to do to make sure OHs stays sweet and the cheques stay signed. This lot you were talking to know your body and mind aren't beholden to anyone and I suspect they envy that. As I say, nothing in life is free.
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You are making a massive assumption there which I think is just as unfair as all the others. How on earth do you know that these women are not perfectly happy in healthy relationships where they are just as 'free' as those of us in the situation of both working? Both my husband and I work, but if one of us got a job/came into some money which meant the other didn't have to work then would it suddenly mean the one not working is beholden in body and mind to the other and has to do more than we did before to ensure we are not ditched?! Your post sounds like exactly the sort of 'rationalisation' which the OP was talking about - it makes you feel better because you assume in sone way they must be worse off than you, but that isn't necessarily true!
 
If I wanted out of my relationship I would walk, blimey, it is one hell of an assumption Bab, I am certainly not trapped or held to ransom :) What do I have to do to ensure OH stays sweet and the cheques are signed....nothing more than I would do if I was earning £250k a year on my tod!
 
I think partly jealousy and secondly a lot of wealthy horsey people will not admit that having money has made their lives easier or given them a competitive advantage over others.

If you are lucky enough to be rich enough not to need to work and to be able to buy top quality horses and have lots of lessons with experts and your own horse transport and grooms etc appreciate what you have and don't make out that is it is just as hard for you to be competitive as it is for those on very limited means who are working full time just to be able to afford to keep a horse let alone compete or have the extras.

I appreciate that a lot of those with money have worked very hard to get it and made sacrifices such as not spending time with their familes etc or working very long hours but these people are often different from those who have not worked for their money who perhaps who do not appreciate what they have.
 
I forgot to say that I inherited a small amount of money when my nana died not enough for anything big like a flash horsebox but I am under no illusion that it has helped - I have put the majority of money away in a saving accounts and it gives me security that if anything happened and I lost my job and was unable to find another one straight away I would still be able to pay DIY my livery and horse costs for a year.

The money has also enabled me to hire horse transport occasionally to go to affiliated shows - instead of being limited to shows within hacking distance.

However I would rather have my nana alive and well than the money any day!
 
For me I think what this boils down to is that wealth equals opportunity. In a lot of cases anyway. It opens up a great deal of experiences that without means are far less likely to be on offer. Yes, you've still got to take your opportunities and make the most of them but the sad fact of life is that money makes them easier to come by. It may be a stupid fancy but I have often wondered how many wonderfully naturally gifted riders (or indeed sailors or skiers etc) there may be out there who we will never know about for the lack of opportunity i.e. the lack of ever having sat on a horse and felt what it was like. [Hmm, yup now I see it in black and white I think it probably is a stupid fancy but there we go! ;-)] I have done my best to make my own opportunities, I am lucky enough to be bright enough to have gone to uni and get a decent degree but I chose to do so in a subject that trained me directly for a professional job that I knew should pay enough to enable me to have a horse and compete a bit. I am now in that job, but what's the flip side?... The subject matter of it is extremely dry (dull!), I don't do a great deal to help humanity (although don't worry I'm not an arms dealer or anything ghastly like that!) and I have to do it for long long hours that severely restrain how often I am able to ride. But hey, its better than doing without a horse at all!

I most certainly am jealous of those who have time and money to do their horses (and indeed are able to have more than one horse!) in the way/style that I would wish to. I absolutely do not begrudge you lucky folk your fun, but I do look at you wistfully from time to time (admittedly seeing only the glossy appearance and not knowing any of your back stories!!) and wish I had your opportunities. I think its just human nature to want more. However I am all too aware that the grass is not always greener and I also realise that some people might look at me and wish they had what I have just as I look at others.
 
SpottedCat said:
You are making a massive assumption there which I think is just as unfair as all the others. How on earth do you know that these women are not perfectly happy in healthy relationships where they are just as 'free' as those of us in the situation of both working? Both my husband and I work, but if one of us got a job/came into some money which meant the other didn't have to work then would it suddenly mean the one not working is beholden in body and mind to the other and has to do more than we did before to ensure we are not ditched?! Your post sounds like exactly the sort of 'rationalisation' which the OP was talking about - it makes you feel better because you assume in sone way they must be worse off than you, but that isn't necessarily true!
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Weezy said:
If I wanted out of my relationship I would walk, blimey, it is one hell of an assumption Bab, I am certainly not trapped or held to ransom :) What do I have to do to ensure OH stays sweet and the cheques are signed....nothing more than I would do if I was earning £250k a year on my tod!
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Well that's wonderful - it's great you guys are in equal relationships because you want to be there. That's the nature of true partnership - you take turns to support each other in mutually agreeable ways because you are there due to your love for your partner and the innate joy of having them in your lives versus not. I am referring to the attitude of that woman and her ilk: specifically, 'and what does your husband think of this', and 'make sure the next one is rich'. This implies to me she chose her fella for his financial padding, and that, unspoken or not, the tradeoff is that at the end of the day, she answers to and is accountable to him. If these were indeed her criteria I do believe what I said stands true. She's made (like many others) the kind of unspoken deal with him I do not envy. I read it as trading an important part of your autonomy for a certain lifestyle. Which is what some choose, and that's their right, but I reserve the right not to envy it! :p:)
 
SW3 said:
For me I think what this boils down to is that wealth equals opportunity. In a lot of cases anyway. It opens up a great deal of experiences that without means are far less likely to be on offer. Yes, you've still got to take your opportunities and make the most of them but the sad fact of life is that money makes them easier to come by. It may be a stupid fancy but I have often wondered how many wonderfully naturally gifted riders (or indeed sailors or skiers etc) there may be out there who we will never know about for the lack of opportunity i.e. the lack of ever having sat on a horse and felt what it was like. [Hmm, yup now I see it in black and white I think it probably is a stupid fancy but there we go! ;-)] I have done my best to make my own opportunities, I am lucky enough to be bright enough to have gone to uni and get a decent degree but I chose to do so in a subject that trained me directly for a professional job that I knew should pay enough to enable me to have a horse and compete a bit. I am now in that job, but what's the flip side?... The subject matter of it is extremely dry (dull!), I don't do a great deal to help humanity (although don't worry I'm not an arms dealer or anything ghastly like that!) and I have to do it for long long hours that severely restrain how often I am able to ride. But hey, its better than doing without a horse at all!

I most certainly am jealous of those who have time and money to do their horses (and indeed are able to have more than one horse!) in the way/style that I would wish to. I absolutely do not begrudge you lucky folk your fun, but I do look at you wistfully from time to time (admittedly seeing only the glossy appearance and not knowing any of your back stories!!) and wish I had your opportunities. I think its just human nature to want more. However I am all too aware that the grass is not always greener and I also realise that some people might look at me and wish they had what I have just as I look at others.
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However I am jealous of the eloquence of this post! :)
 
I agree with is being a lot of jealousy.
There is also a huge amount of inverse snobbery in the horse world. You are only able to rightly say you have 'succeeded' if you bought your horse for 10p from a passing Gypsy, you made all of your tack and bandages yourself, ate only plain rice so that you could afford his shoes and *then* did all the work yourself so that you qualified for Badminton.

There seems to be rule that says that if somebody succeeds at something yet they have been able to afford a nice horse/horsebox/posh tack/good trainers that their success is somehow less 'valid'. I don't get this...yes money does make things easier but we all know that anything to do with horses is still hard work!

The best story I know about 'having it all' was a girl I was friends with about 6 years ago. She decided she wanted to start eventing. Mum and Dad (seriously loaded) went to a local v successful event rider and bought her 2 fantastic horses from the rider. They were kept at full livery at the proffessionals yard and every time she rode in the school she was trained by the event rider.
She was also bought brand new top of the range tack, rugs and equipment. A brand new horsebox with personalised plate (a proper cherish plate as well 1 number and her initials)

She had a very good season so decided that she was going to event properly ;) Mum and Dad arrange for her to spend 6 months being trained by an international rider - rumour has it a very large donation was made which was too good to turn down.

Whilst she was away they built her a stableyard at home. Beautiful stables, horse walker, indoor and outdoor menage, solarium. They also started sourcing her some more horses.

Was I jealous?.....hell yeah! Who wouldn't be, she was living my dream. Was I bitchy about it? Absolutely not, it wasn't her fault she being given these chances. It wasn't as if they weren't being given to me because she had them. Our cards were just dealt differently and just because she had so much it didn't make me bitter that I had, compared to her, so little...I was just grateful for everything I did have.

I had always been amazed that I've never seen her at Badminton, our paths moved away from each other and I'm shocking at keeping touch with people. However I bumped into her last year and asked her how the eventing was going. She told me that she had given it up about 2 years ago. Her reason

"It was far too much hard work" :D I did have to laugh at that though, she really did have it easy compared to so many!
 
ARE people really bitchy & jealous..... I don't meet really jealous or vindictive people all the time.

Friends & I will have a bit of a bitch & a moan about a complete random mix of stuff, it rarely has to do with how rich someone is. I am really not especially nice or sainted, but don't really get jealous, or know anyone who does. I think we can all think "ooh lucky bag, having such a lovely house/horse/lorry" but it's so abstract I don't think it's genuine jealousy.

I wouldn't swap any aspect of my life with anyone - wouldn't swap my horses, kids, friends, family or any of the important stuff. Thinking how nice it would be to not work or not worry about money is a very different thing & not negative. Most of my richer friends are well used to me sponging off them, no jealousy there - if they weren't rich I couldn't sponge!!!!
 
I agree amandco, makes me want to join them. I do think all the gear looks lovely, and want it but don't live beyond my means - I started with a horse 2 years ago, a year later bought a double bridle, then bought my own dressage saddle six months ago, just ordered some lovely competition breeches with money I got for my Birthday, and over the next few months I am looking forward to getting a nice comp saddle cloth and browband, but it all takes time. I look smart on my horse but ask me out for a drink and I most certainly won't be wearing a new outfit!

Rich people, if you've got it, have it if you want it, if your not rich, work for it and you'll get it if you want it, just a little bit slower and you'll appreciate it all the more.
 
Why rub people's noses in it who can't afford it by starting a thread like this? People like this are the reason why people react badly to people with money. Some are gracious with their money but others just harp on about it. Wind your neck in and maybe people will be a bit nicer to you.

Just for the record I am one of those people that can afford it - I don't rub people's noses in it or whinge though ;)
 
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