Why are people so mean?? Sorry, rant...

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Flicker

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Here's the story, right, last winter I was asked to move my girlie into another group of mares because she's very chilled and they had another TB mare in there who was fizzing the other horses up. So TB mare moved out and my girlie moved in. I only agreed on the proviso that we help each other out with bring in / turn out as my girlie won't go out on her own. No problem, everyone was only too willing to oblige so that TB mare could be moved out. Gradually, it became apparent that the two (mother and daughter) who had asked me to move in with them in the first place couldn't handle my mare, who can be quite a monkey at times to lead. Not a problem, to make sure she had company, I would turn out their two horses in the mornings with mine. I also come up later in the day over the weekend if they are riding so that I can turn mine out with theirs, and they don't have to handle her. They've also been asking me to give the daughter a lift up to the yard as we both work in the same area. All of this I have gladly done, and anything else that they need help with. The mother once said she'd do my stable on the mornings I turned the girls out, although for the past couple of times this hasn't happened. So I gently asked the daughter the other day if she could remember any kind of conversation in which her mum mentioned doing my stable. Word obviously got back to the mother, who told me last night in no uncertain terms that this arrangement was a 'pain' for her and they wanted to go back to doing their own because she 'didn't have time to muck out three stables'. To be honest, it is quicker to muck out three stables than to muck out her two and trek her two horses out to our field, which is a good 10-minute round trip!
She is basically making extra work for herself, just so that she can have the power to stop her horses from going out with mine. Fortunately there is another mare on part-livery out with ours so I can turn her out with my girlie in the morning, but it means negotiating with the yard to bring mine in and not to charge me etc.
I'm just baffled by people. My OH thinks they are jealous because they are skint and we are about to go off on hols and are doing the house up. Or that she can't 'forgive' me for being able to handle my horse as well as her two and feels inadequate. Her daughter told me this morning not to take any notice of her because she is being 'satan' with everyone.
Why can't we all just be nice to each other and help each other out??
 
Sorry, she just sounds as if she's happier doing her own horse.

It is a real bind having a horse that is so reliant on being with others ( I know I have one), but you're the one with the problem - not them.

To have to be so involved in what others are doing is a pain, so I can understand why they have said that they would rather just do their own horses.

It sounds as if you have another horse to turn out with, so I really wouldn't get your knickers in a twist about a situation that hans't worked out - through no one's fault.
 
It is exactly for reasons like this that I try not to get involved in letting people do things to "help" before you know it you are mucking out for them! I have enough to do my own 2 without getting involved doing things for other people, obviously on occasion is ok and if someone was stuck then I would help them but not with a well I'll turn your horse out today so you can muck out for me tomorrow agreement. I highly doubt that anyone would behave like that because you can handle your own horse and how do you know they are "skint"? Just turn out with the other horse and leave these 2 to do their own horses, they obviously don't want to be involved
 
I can understand where the other people are coming from, but I also understand your problem.
Its very easy to help people and do them favours, but as I am finding they do expect it all of the time and there is always one side that gets the raw deal.

If you can Its always best to do your own horse and let the others just get on with theirs. I wish I could have listened to my own advice- lol
 
I hear what you are all saying in terms of best to just to your own etc, as far as possible. However, I just found it strange as she initially offered to muck out for me.
I know they are skint because they have told me so lots of times, and that is why I was giving the daughter lifts.
I guess I am just a bit hurt, really. I just think it is sad that when people livery their horses together they kind of become like a little community and yet people just want to stay in their little 'bubble' and not interact any more than they have to. Surely we are all working towards a common aim: having happy, healthy horses and being happy and healthy ourselves, and it makes sense that we work together and help each other, rather than letting our colleagues struggle on by themselves. Maybe I'm the odd one, because I would help out anyone who needed it, for as long as they needed it, if I possibly could.
 
Flicker - yes, you are right in a lot of what you say. But bottom line is your horse/your responsibility. And if a system that has been adopted is not working out - then it doesn't matter why.

As for being skint. I'm sure they are. Aren't all of us that have horses???
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What I was trying to say, that I'm all for helping others out when ever I can , but you always find that in the end the help offered is taken for granted and you can get "put upon", I know I am, but I'm too soft to say anything about it.

Can you not move your mare back to where she was before all this happened? After all it isn't your fault the hosrses were getting fizzed off.
If not ,not sure what to suggest.
 
Yes, practical advice and I appreciate it, Amy May. I guess I am just having a philosophical moment and wondering on the nature of things and people.
The situation itself is not a problem - she's got a friend to go out with - it was the approach that took me aback.
Thanks anyway to you and I'm_addicted to your words of wisdom.
 
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