Why are people so mean?

[TrasaM]

It could be the friend who told you this is just saying it to try and put you down without being the bad guy...

Agree ^^ it's hard to do but when someone tells you that someone else has been spiteful or nasty about you the first question to ask yourself is why they told you about it instead of confronting then theirselves..if they are your friend that is.
May be worth approaching this person and asking directly whether it's true and why they though it was ok to talk about you behind your back.
We've had a spate of this at my share horse's yard where comments were taken out of context ..repeated back and resulted in a big fall out

 

[fatpiggy]

I used to do some freelance teaching and a friend asked me for some lessons because her nice coloured cob was only used for hacking and she wanted to do some low level dressage and ridden showing with him - except that he really could only canter with the near fore leading. Even on the tiniest of circles on the right rein he led with the left. After a few lessons we both heard that another rider on the yard was calling me something rotten, didn't know what I was doing, was a rubbish rider myself, who did I think I was, the usual sort of thing. But after 6 weeks that pony was cantering better on the right lead than the left, had muscled up beautifully, could do turn on the forehand perfectly and in his first ever ridden coloured class, came second. His owner was rightly proud of him and herself for having put in all the hard work and bless her, went up to the other girl and told her that I had achieved what no-one else had and generally sang my praises very loudly to anyone who asked about her pony. If the OP and her instructor are happy with each other, just stick two fingers up to anyone who looks down their noses.

 

[Lizzie66]

If this is something you can't ignore or if you feel uncomfortable confronting the person directly, then maybe speak to your YO. Something along the lines of:

" I've been hearing from some of the others on the yard that your instructor has been bad mouthing me (specifics if you have them). Does she normally do this to your clients? If so then could you let me know when she will be around as I outgrew the school yard mentality quite a while ago. If not then she obviously has a specific problem with me, in which case if I know what it is then I can try and address it or failing that could you ask her to avoid coming up when I am around. Thanks for your help. "

This puts it clearly in the YO hands and allows you to indirectly confront your problem.

 

[Richie]

Things like this are usually down to jealousy. If you're happy and your horse is happy then just smile and don't bother even thinking about the poor *itch

Totally agree.

 

[thehorsediva]

Haha some great quotes and comments! Still can't stop thinking about things today and it has got to me in the short term but I am determined to rise above it. I know we have made massive progress and what people fail to recognise is the emotional development for horse and rider after a tricky time. This has been more important and valuable to me than any form of physical progress even though this has been massive as well. I am so happy with how things are going, I just wish people could keep opinions to themselves as I have worked so hard on everything to hear things like that. Onwards and upwards and I have saved this thread so I can keep reading all these comments which actually make sense, rather than keep mulling over her nasty words.