Why are some people so delusional about their abilities?

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MagicMelon

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As someone who is offering a 17hh, quality warmblood ex-showjumper for permanent loan - I'm pretty surprised by the fact that the majority of enquiries I've had have been from people who in my opinion, aren't experienced / suitable for the horse as advertised. The latest two have been from a lady who says she used to get lessons at a riding school and has had a 10 year break so wants to get back into riding.... erm.... even though she's never owned a horse and sounds as though she's never got beyond being a beginner she thinks she could cope with a 17hh warmblood who I clearly state would suit an experienced rider (even though very well behaved). This morning I got an email from a lady who says she's very experienced as she used to loan a Welsh x pony... again, she might have gained a lot of experience from that I'm sure but a 17hh WB isn't remotely the same as a Welsh x pony (and yes, I've had a few Welsh x's in the past so can compare) :(

So why is it so many people are delusional in the horse world? Is it because they aren't very experienced so that they are almost a little ignorant as to how different horses can be (and dangerous in the wrong hands)?
 
MagicMelon said:
So why is it so many people are delusional in the horse world? Is it because they aren't very experienced so that they are almost a little ignorant as to how different horses can be (and dangerous in the wrong hands)?
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I would agree....they don't know..what they don't know'
And that's why people end up buying totally unsuitable animals because on occasion those selling just want a sale and those buying don't want what they would be more suited to.
 
Hippona said:
I would agree....they don't know..what they don't know'
And that's why people end up buying totally unsuitable animals because on occasion those selling just want a sale and those buying don't want what they would be more suited to.
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I agree. I sold my coloured over a year ago, had him advertised as "forward going, not novice ride" and out of 4 people who came to try him I had to ask two to get off of him after a few strides of trot. I think often the confusion comes because people have different interpretations of what "novice" actually implies. Some people are so full of self importance they think it is just a bit of an ego boost to call themselves experienced, not really understanding the difference between a welshie and a WB..!
 
I had the same people come to see my mare too! I think riding schools calling some of their lessons advanced when the riders can only just canter properly doesn't help!

Then at the other end of the scale, I had two good riders come that thought they were doing me a huge favour (even though they were getting to ride a lovely horse with BS/BE winnings) and didn't turn up in bad weather or help out at all!
 
For me though, having gone from riding a WB who had been there and done it all to a greenish section d the WB was by far easier in many many ways. Different to manage granted but give me the WB for an easier life!

Agree though, many people over estimate their ability.
 
I think theres a lot of delusional people in general, not just in the horse world!

I think horse riding attracts a fair number of people who would like to succeed in sport but maybe don't have the physical and mental attributes to succeed in say, competitive running or cycling (or whatever). But in horse riding they maybe think they could be as good as that talented rider who gets up at 6am to school his horses and has built up years of experience riding all sorts, simply by getting a horse that looks the part.

Then of course once they have had said horse two weeks and can't cope, horse is labelled bad, mad or dangerous!

I've found that timewasters invariably text you hundreds of questions. Insisting on phone calls only and weeding them to with a few selective questions of your own saves an unpleasant experience for your horse. I successfully found a great loaner for my big horse, but only let her out of 4 enquiries come to try him.
 
Holly08 said:
Then at the other end of the scale, I had two good riders come that thought they were doing me a huge favour (even though they were getting to ride a lovely horse with BS/BE winnings) and didn't turn up in bad weather or help out at all!
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I've recently had two not so good riders like that! I would work with them to help them improve if they were keen and occasionally mucked out/came to shows with me/cleaned tack, but not even that either! So unreliable - do they think horses don't need done because its bad weather or you don't feel well!
 
I think its partly due to riding schools using crazy groupings like advanced but more so this modern PC trend to only tell people how well they are doing even if they are crap.
 
I had exactly the same issue when offering a lovely 4 year old, 15.2hh ISH up for full loan. I stressed in my advert that he needed an experienced and patient rider to further his education.

He'd hunted in Ireland as a 3 year old and was a very talented jumper but was still green in the school. I wanted someone who would recognise his talent for jumping and also that he was a youngster and needed bringing on with patience. I hoped for him to go to a home where he would eventually be introduced to eventing as that was definitely his calling!

I came to the conclusion that two things were going on. People don't actually read adverts properly (I was asked so many questions that were answered in his advert quite clearly). I also find that horses up for full loan that can move yards are like gold dust and a lot of people are so desperate for them they will tell you anything. Most people I had responding to my advert were novices wanting a nice happy hacker which was so clearly not what I’d advertised. I think as there's very little available, people will enquire about anything regardless of whether they meet the requirements.

Stay positive though, I found him his dream loan home where he is now flourishing!
 
Without seeing your ad (not allowed I know!) it's difficult to comment imo.

It's a fine line between attracting the right sort of person but not being off putting in the wording you use.

As Holly08 said - there's a world of difference between riding school/experienced/professional terminology when it comes to levels. Novice can range from complete beginner to somebody competing BE at that level. The word 'experienced' is the same - everyone has different definitions.
 
I think it's the horses' fault...

Some are just so careful and considerate that its quite easy for someone with little experience to think, having ridden such a saintly beast, that they can do everything required to 'ride' a horse; any horse.

Only when they experience 'over-horsed' for the first time, do they realise.
 
pennyturner said:
I think it's the horses' fault...

Some are just so careful and considerate that its quite easy for someone with little experience to think, having ridden such a saintly beast, that they can do everything required to 'ride' a horse; any horse.

Only when they experience 'over-horsed' for the first time, do they realise.
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I agree. It is very obvious at numerous shows, particularly in sj classes that some very poor riders have extremely forgiving horses who do all the work. Tbh, there are many HHO members who post about their schooling in rather advanced terms but their photos certainly don't support their words. It seems to be a widespread phenomenon.
 
Strictly speaking there's no reason why someone couldn't go from riding a welsh x pony to a WB. I find WBs easier than welshies to be honest! I know where you're coming from though.

I see poor riding all the time, and think that riding schools calling their groups advanced or whatever is part of the problem. I've met a few people recently who were in the "top" group at a riding school who can barely rise to the trot correctly. That's not my idea of advanced. They don't realise though until they get on a privately owned horse that isn't as tolerant of noisy or incorrect aids that their idea of advanced is nothing like. Unfortunately, it takes them getting on these horses to realise it, so in the meantime they'll believe that they are perfectly suited to your boy.
 
pennyturner said:
Only when they experience 'over-horsed' for the first time, do they realise.
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Yes, good point. I had an "experienced rider" who had done university teams come to try my horse last month and she couldn't cope at all.

On the flip side, I had a lady reply to an ad 18 months ago who said she was probably much more novice than what I wanted, but that she would be willing to learn. I liked her honesty, she came and tried my husband's, easier, horse. She is still with us, a good friend now, has learned a lot and helps us out a great deal without being asked.
 
I had lessons at a riding school when I was getting back into riding after a long break. I had had my own ponies and competed. I subsequently shared and then got my own.

There were two main problems with the system.

1) Only being used to riding horses in a very controlled environment. There were some horses where I used to ride that I was happy to ride in the school but nothing would have induced me to take it out in the woods on a windy day. A lot of people wouldn't even know there might be a difference in the horse's behaviour.

2) As stated above calling a group advanced when the riders could just about canter. I was in the bar one time after a lesson and I described myself to someone as a competent novice. I didn't realise I annoyed someone who had just been excitedly telling everyone they were an advanced rider as they had been moved up to the group. As I was one of the two more experienced riders in the group, if I was a novice that undermined their claim!
 
People are arrogant - but also misinformed a lot of the time :(

I always find it best to play down my ability/experience, then people can either get what they expect or be pleasantly surprised, depending on their own definition of 'experienced/good' rider.
 
My first share horse after returning to riding as an adult was a 16.1 ex-intermediate eventer warmblood :D sadly he was SO good I was under the false impression I could ride!

Just remember everyone goes though the four states of learning:
-Unconscious incompetence
-Conscious incompetence
-Conscious competence
-Unconscious competence

I very much vary between the first two although as a teenager I can remember thinking I didn't need lessons as they only thing I didn't know was how to go sideways! :D
 
criso said:
I had lessons at a riding school when I was getting back into riding after a long break. I had had my own ponies and competed. I subsequently shared and then got my own.

There were two main problems with the system.

1) Only being used to riding horses in a very controlled environment. There were some horses where I used to ride that I was happy to ride in the school but nothing would have induced me to take it out in the woods on a windy day. A lot of people wouldn't even know there might be a difference in the horse's behaviour.

2) As stated above calling a group advanced when the riders could just about canter. I was in the bar one time after a lesson and I described myself to someone as a competent novice. I didn't realise I annoyed someone who had just been excitedly telling everyone they were an advanced rider as they had been moved up to the group. As I was one of the two more experienced riders in the group, if I was a novice that undermined their claim!
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Exactly this.
And, from my own experience here, sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you get a horse that tells you in no uncertain terms, then you either do your best to learn or the horse becomes a "problem" horse.
 
I like to think I'm an experienced Ned rider, as I can usually predict what he'll do next and if he does do something unexpected, I know how to counteract it and get it all under control. He hasn't scared me in a long time!

However, the thought of riding someone else's horse...not so easy! I feel sick at the thought of them spooking, or putting a foot out of line. I made every excuse under the sun not to ride my friends extremely easy going horse. I don't know why, I've not had any bad experiences, but it just frightens me.
 
Chan said:
I like to think I'm an experienced Ned rider, as I can usually predict what he'll do next and if he does do something unexpected, I know how to counteract it and get it all under control. He hasn't scared me in a long time!

However, the thought of riding someone else's horse...not so easy! I feel sick at the thought of them spooking, or putting a foot out of line. I made every excuse under the sun not to ride my friends extremely easy going horse. I don't know why, I've not had any bad experiences, but it just frightens me.
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This totally! I am a one horse person!
 
NellRosk said:
Are there people like this in other sports/ hobbies? Or is it just riding that attracts the delusional nutters?
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I suppose people think it is easier to exaggerate about ability when it comes to horses - if you have an honest enough schoolmaster it can actually make someone relatively novice look rather good - if you got in the boxing ring without any real experience it would become apparent very quickly that they were rubbish.

I also think that a lot of people don't realise how dangerous it can be to lie about your abilities and then get on a rather quirky/spirited horse.
 
I simply don't understand why people overstate their abilities, much much safer to understate. I've refused so many offers of shots on peoples horses because I knew it wouldn't end well.

I am an ok rider, but very aware of my limitations, part of me is dreading looking for a new horse when the time comes.
 
Dizzle said:
My first share horse after returning to riding as an adult was a 16.1 ex-intermediate eventer warmblood :D sadly he was SO good I was under the false impression I could ride :D
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This is exactly the same as me! I also returned to rding after years and exercised (hacked mostly) a 16.3 exeventer WB who was saintly but strong gave me the false impression of 'still got it'. The 14.3 welsh has made me realise my limits very quickly!
 
It comes down to one of two things usually. Either ego that dictates a person will always inflate their abilities or dillusion, where people have been told by others that they are better than they actually are.

Riding schools should explain the difference between their definition of advanced and the competitive/general definition.
 
Thing is it's really not fair on the owner of the horse. I had another warmblood a few years ago who had never ever bucked with me, on trying to sell him a teenager came to try him - she was an ok rider but discovered he could do flying changes, she proceeded to keep doing them not sensing the horse was getting fed up, I told her to stop doing them but she did one last one and he put in one big buck and ground to a halt, she pinged off. She wasn't hurt, but what if she was?! I would get in trouble even though they horse had never ever done that with me. You have to really trust people that they don't hurt your horse too, I know if someone got on my grey (not for sale), he's so sensitive that if you gave him a novice pony club kick then you'd be in the next county!
 
the labels of novice , intermediate etc are so ambiguous it's hardly surprising people over estimate themselves, if you've ever followed a thread on here about what constitutes a novice or any other level rider you'll get varying answers. Plus the fact that the level of teaching a sample of people with the same qualification will give is another factor!
 
RunToEarth said:
I suppose people think it is easier to exaggerate about ability when it comes to horses - if you have an honest enough schoolmaster it can actually make someone relatively novice look rather good - if you got in the boxing ring without any real experience it would become apparent very quickly that they were rubbish.

I also think that a lot of people don't realise how dangerous it can be to lie about your abilities and then get on a rather quirky/spirited horse.
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Very true! I've seen it go wrong on a few occasions and it wasn't pretty.
 
I recently started riding lessons again after not being to a riding school for over 5 years. I have been riding the same 2 horses for 4 years before having my LO. I went to riding school and had my assessment lesson. The instructor was shocked as what I explained to her she thought I was a novice not experienced rider. She said I under-estimated myself. TBH I rather do that then be cocky
 
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