Why bother posting?!

Sometimes posters on this forum are blunt, harsh and basing their suggestions on very little experience. However, on your thread, I think that you have had excellent advice, from some of the more experienced professionals on here. You would be foolish not to take it, however unpalatable it may be.
 
Sometimes it hurts to hear that others may not think you are capable of seeing a horse through a troubled time. You are being defensive and I get why you would do that, you feel like your ability is being criticised.

One thing you need to understand is that over time I have come to realise that there are very few people on here who go out of there way to say things to upset the person (the few I have noticed have not posted on your previous thread :)). What you will find that people are prepared to say something that may or may not upset the person if it really is in the best interest of the horse.

Why should it upset you that some people think sorting this problem out is beyond your capabilities as suggested by the information that they have from you? The fact that you had to ask for a solution may go a little way to suggest that you might need some support during whatever process you decide upon.

People post on here and offer help from all over the country, I think you should be grateful for such a useful resource.

It's ok not to be the best at everything. Not recognising when you might need someone to step in is often the worst thing we can do for our animals.

Give it a go yourself, as you said you were going to? If there is no improvement then take some of the advice here. Simples.

At the moment you are making yourself sound like a bit of a brat, but I know it is because you have taken the advice personally. You are reading 'you are no good and not capable' when in fact people are typing 'your filly may benefit from someone really experienced in dealing with this kind of problem.'
 
Because we can all learn something.

I've had an awful lot of support and good advice and probably an equal amount of rubbish. However net result was an in foal broody not PTS and some pretty good other suggestions also. I don't always like what I hear which is fine because I'm a long way from perfect as is my horsemanship.

Time to man up I think :D:D
 
weebarney said:
Yeah people are very harsh when they're sat all brave behind their computer but i guess thats the internet for you. Just ignore the stuff you dont like.
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Actually I'd be worried if people didn't comment in real life when someone needed help.

Last time I suggested it (in real life ;)), I was shot down. Horse ended up pts and rider paralysed. There's normally a good reason for getting someone to help you (not just the horse) work through a problem.
 
There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple, too
And up in the nursery
An absurd little bird
Is popping out to say coo-coo

coo-coo Regretfully they tell us
coo-coo But firmly they compel us
to say goodnight
coo-coo
To you

So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you

So long, farewell
Au revoir, Auf Weidersehen
I'd like to stay
And taste my first champagne

So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye
I leave and heave
A sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye

I'm glad to go
I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float
I fleetly flee, I fly

The sun has gone
To bed and so must I

So long, farewell
Auf Weidersehen, goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye

Sorry couldnt help myself :D
 
Sorry but I've just read three of the threads you mention from start to finish - the pony kicking the bucket, the youngster with the not liking the bridle put on problem and the horse who didn't like leaving it's sister and was throwing off it's rider.

No-one has been nasty at all. On the horse throwing the rider (which is the one I presume you are referring to) there's been some straight talking which I believe has been genuinely done to save you or your horse any serious injury. The advice given has been given freely and without any malice at all.

Had people been calling you a "troll" or the likes or being really nasty/bullying I would have been the first to have stuck up for you.

In this instance I think you need to wake up and smell the roses. People are trying to give you the help you are asking for. Nothing more, nothing less.
 
This type of post (I'm Leaving.. flounce,flounce) was one mentioned in a recent thread. I'm not sure what the point is tbh,telling us you are leaving, if you're leaving ? Just accept it's not for you and leave.

This is such a busy forum, and getting replies with FREE advice is what's been asked for, I presume. The members here give excellent (if regularly opposing :eek:) advice, and it should not be dismissed out of hand. It may be blunt and to the point, but it comes with YEARS of experience. It may not be put how you'd like it to be, but someone has bothered to try and help you.

I understand what achinghips means about other forums - Trot Online and New Rider are gentler, and no that is not patronising, just an observation.

ps, your siggie IS massive, think it needs to be about half that size.
 
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Well I suppose you wouldn't like to meet me in real life then. I'm just as blunt. Even more so when people think I can come over and sort their problems for free. That's a whole lot of 5ft bluntness let me tell you. I wouldn't dream of asking someone over to "help" me with my jumper for free.

Terri
 
You seem to have been given really good advice on your most recent thread. I don't know why you have taken such umbrage I really don't.

I have been riding my whole life (nearly thirty years), have backed, ridden racehorses and all that jazz. As a teenager I was the one who rode the difficult ones. People tell me I'm reasonably competent but my 4yo went to a pro this summer because I couldn't deal with what she was doing. Sometimes you need someone with skills you don't have. There is no shame in that and there is no harm in people telling you that. It doesn't make you a failure to get help. We all need help at some point.

And Terri, I could not agree more. Some of the best, most important people in the horse industry are the ones which start the youngsters and solve the problems, not the ones winning all the pots!
 
Just read two of your posts, one about bridling (looks like the outcome has been very successful) and the other about the horse chucking the rider.

The advice on the latter is in fact very constructive. People have YOUR safety at heart, and see that the horse could well become dangerous. You have admitted to being a nervous rider yourself, so the only real way forward with a horse that chucks you off is professional help. You have been given excellent advice on that post.

Peeps here take a lot of trouble to try and help with horsey problems, free of charge, but there is only so much they can do without referring you to a professional.
 
See, there's a classic example. I'm struggling to get on my mare, thinking its behaviour is way out there in extremis so to speak and I go on here for a punt and find loads of really good advice from people who have actually dealt with this problem (and worse).

"Wise men don't need advice - fools won't take it" Benjamin Franklin
 
I'm a relatively new 'participant' I lurked for quite a while...
I realised that the wealth of advice and support here far outweighs the negative 'pouncing on people just for the hell of it', you'll see straight away the ones who just enjoy putting people down or jumping to conclusions. You will also start to recognise the members who are completely genuine & concerned about both animal & carer.
Just step back, have a minute (a cuppa & a choccy biscuit) take a deep breath and try to see over what you find are personal digs, they don't know you...so ignore it. Gather up the answers you feel are valuable and keep them in mind.

Best wishes ❤
 
Having not read any of your threads before OP, I have just gone back and read them all with all replies.

Not once have you had a reply that I would call either harsh or rude.

You have posted numerous times with issues and received excellent advice including lots of 'good lucks' and 'let us know how it goes'.

I wish you good luck in finding another forum with such knowledgeable and helpful advice.
 
LOL,

I was going to mention that post myself, amymay.

The way I see it, you cannot keep horses if you are not prepared to keep learning and it is dangerous to be too proud to take advice. I'm not a complete novice but I'm certainly not experienced and I'd rather feel a bit embarrassed perhaps at being wrong than let my horse suffer.

Whenever I have a professional out to my horse I try and learn from them. Hence, for the past two and a half years I have been working alongside my trimmer and I've learnt a hell of a lot about hooves... although there is still a lot to learn...

I tried to learn from my saddler, but clearly got crossed wires and got it **** about face: we were saddle fitting in a gale and torrential rain in my defense :-)

I'm thinking of having a physio / masseur out to the horse... there is no way they will get away without an interview as to how I can continue to support him and get involved... so the money is well spent not just on the animal, but on building your own experience.
 
OP I haven't read your other pidts but to be honest it is nothing to do with your confidence. Sometimes we all need a bit if pro help.

If you have toothache you see a dentist, you don't pull your teeth yourself. If your central heating packs in you get a corgi gas engineer in rather than getting your wrench out.

Even Mark Todd takes lessons, if after 30 years at the top he needs pro help I need it after 30 years of riding not at the top........
 
metalmare said:
LOL,

I was going to mention that post myself, amymay.

The way I see it, you cannot keep horses if you are not prepared to keep learning and it is dangerous to be too proud to take advice. I'm not a complete novice but I'm certainly not experienced and I'd rather feel a bit embarrassed perhaps at being wrong than let my horse suffer.

Whenever I have a professional out to my horse I try and learn from them. Hence, for the past two and a half years I have been working alongside my trimmer and I've learnt a hell of a lot about hooves... although there is still a lot to learn...

I tried to learn from my saddler, but clearly got crossed wires and got it **** about face: we were saddle fitting in a gale and torrential rain in my defense :-)

I'm thinking of having a physio / masseur out to the horse... there is no way they will get away without an interview as to how I can continue to support him and get involved... so the money is well spent not just on the animal, but on building your own experience.
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Totally agree - and I too have been guilty on going on the defensive, when I don't like what I am hearing - but with some comments that I received a little while ago about something I posted re a young horse, many turned out to be absolutley right. What I don't like is very personal comments - i.e. if you should not own this horse.....arghhh, that is often more destructive then constructive........though when it was aimed at me - I nearly sent the horse back - but jolly glad I did not!!
 
And I thought it was about Christmas cards ,
But if you don't want advice why post for advice here it's confusing to me surely people can cope with forthright advice how on earth do they cope in real life ?
 
Goldenstar said:
And I thought it was about Christmas cards ,
But if you don't want advice why post for advice here it's confusing to me surely people can cope with forthright advice how on earth do they cope in real life ?
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I do agree, and surely the beauty of this site is that there are so many different points of view... It helps you look at things from perspectives that you wouldn't naturally see yourself... Ive had some wonderful advice, and some that whilst it is good, is not relevant to the particular horse or situation... Ive also had some utter tosh and some stuff that I would never have thought of but that really worked... I find it at the very least an education for me to see all these differing views on horses and how to handle them... You're absolutely right though, some people are way to sensitive... I posted that I was surprised to see a certain type of response... I was surprised because its not normally how people respond on here... it was very reserved... resulting in me getting a pretty peed off PM from the person whos post I commented on as he/she viewed my word 'surprised' as me 'slating' their view... I didn't know what to do.... really made me laugh, I had to read it a few times to see if this really was what I was reading... the temptation was to poke said PMer with a really pointy stick... but I refrained... I had my halo on :D but yes... some people need to toughen up, or just stop seeing criticism where it just isn't present. Its all very well being gentle with people, but there are only certain ways you can say... you need help with your horse, you need to do this or that, or continue on this route and your horse will suffer. If people ask for opinions... they need to brace themselves, on here you never know whats coming at you:D
 
Well, OP was back on last night - so hopefully they've read this thread and calmed down a little.

Time will tell, I suppose.
 
Well, I thought you got some fairly sound advice hecken. Not everyone likes to hear that they need help from a real person in real life. A forum can only go so far. I just think you didn't like the fact people said to ask for help on the ground.
 
Hi, well if you look at my posts you will see the trouble I have had with idiots and know it alls. All you have to do is put them on your ignore lists if they keep doing it and you never have to read their silly remarks again. If some one is abusive report them and get them removed, they will eventually come back on but usually lesson learned unless they are complete fools.

Some advice on here is really useful youve just got to weed out the morons.

Ive hardened up alot and dont care what the idiots say any more in all honesty their comments are so funny you just know they havent a clue about what they are talking about.

Chin up and keep posting if it winds them up all the better lol
 
Ooooh, know it alls? Idiots? Morons? Looks like I have been reincarnated from 16 to 17 just in time.....

Will crack open the wine. Thankfully I have been born again as someone who gives nothing but wonderful, thoughtful and soothing advice.. :-)
 
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