Why can I not buy the right horse for me?

sz90168

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After my last horse having to retire who I adored, last March I bought a lovely little Connemara as a project to bring on. I got him going nicely and we did well at dressage but it transpired he did not enjoy jumping that much. I also found him a bit slow and wanted something more exciting. So I sold him in October to the first person who viewed him to a really lovely home(first time I ever made a good profit on a horse).

After two failed vettings and 7 week search I then bought a now 5 year old all singing and dancing Warmblood. He is beautiful to look at, has good breeding for show jumping (which is what I want to do), nice paces but is not the easiest at expected. He does not scare me but you have to pretty switched on when riding him due to his age otherwise he finds his own entertainment. Her is sweet and has come on a lot in the last few months but since starting a new job all I crave for is going for a nice hack on my own on the buckle which will not be possible for a while on this one and not having to ride most days.

So looks like this one is also not the right horse for me and I will probably be advertising him soon which I am dreading as I hate selling horses. I really do not know if I have the energy to look for another horse, spend a lot of money on vetting’s again and travel around the country. I think this might be the end of my horse owning journey for a while unless a unicorn turns up.

A pretty pointless post but I just wanted to moan. I feel so disheartened at the moment.
 
When I hear of people selling a steady senesible horse I always have to bite my tongue to prevent me saying be careful what you wish for .
You might try to find an older competition type horse who is mature and confirmed in their training .
Or you buy some help and get the horse you have at the moment to that stage .
Getting horses to hack well is usually not hard if you go at it very regularly but usually with the bigger engines comes the quicker reactions so you really need to embrace and enjoy that side of things .
 
can you get someone else to hack him regularly? he's only 5 after all-unless you don't want to sj anymore? but if you like him to sj then if I were you I would pay someone good to hack him regularly for a month say if you aren't able to/dont want to, and see where you are after that-if he's still not the horse for you then at least he'll have some more miles under his belt. I wouldn't imagine any 5yo WBs to be hacking on the buckle reliably really.

If you are near a university, there are sometimes quite competitive students who want to ride and might enjoy him-you'd have to vet carefully but might work out a cheaper option than a pro, although personally I would rather pay.
 
Thank you for the reply, yes hindsight is a wonderful thing. Yes I am enlisting the help of a professional to get him out jumping as they can do it so much quicker than me. Hacking will always be a problem as I can only hack him out once week with a reliable lead. My friend who I usually go out with will not hack out with me anymore as mine unsettles her horse to much and she had a nasty fall (her horse is a pretty sharp Warmblood but jumps at a good level). It is pretty frustrating but I think he will take a few years to get to where I want and I don't think I want to invest that in him as I am not really getting any enjoyment from him.
 
To answer your question; because you don't really seem to know what you want in a horse. Before you decide what to do next, make a list of the qualities you want from the horse you need *now*. Those of us who work full time and have other things going on in our lives don't have an awful lot of time for getting projects going well, so bear that in mind.

If your 5 year old fits most of your requirements, you could perhaps pay some else to do the work that you don't have time for. If you need a different horse take care when choosing the next one, don't buy one that doesn't fit in with your non-negotiables for any reason.
 
agree with PAS, I think if you've recognised that the current horse isn't for you, then make a note of the reasons why *now* while it's fresh in your mind, and put energies into selling him to the right person.
Then you need to step back, with a bit of distance and a lot of honesty, and think about what you truly need in a horse not just what you think you want. do you have a trusted friend or trainer that you can chew this over with? someone that can be honest with you and help you find the right horse to fit your life now?
 
Yes I do have a very experienced friend and she agrees that although current horse is nice he wont be the right one for me for a few years. I will definitely have a little bit of a break once he sells and then re-assess what I want. I think I want more an RC type horse than can be left for a few days, hacks and can possibly jump to 1m. I do not have enough time anymore for a young horse that needs riding 5-6 days a week and competing very regularly as I now also have other commitments. 5 years ago he would of been the perfect horse but not anymore unfortunately.
 
Totally agree with the above posts. Until you know exactly what you want from a horse you are not going to find it! Make a list of your requirements and then put a wanted advert specifying these criteria. Maybe go to a reliable dealer where you can try several horses. Also consider whether where you keep the horse gives you enough support and back up - should you base yourself with a trainer who can help you and the horse?

It is unlikely that your horse will be under 7 years old - not impossible as I bought 5 year old warmblood x cob, to carry me in my OAP days when my young sport horses lost their attraction! He was bombproof on his own even at just 5, he is the same worked daily or chucked in a field, I can ride him when I want and he is escort for the young newly backed horses. He looks after any friends/relatives who want the occasional ride. He is worth every penny I paid and he was not cheap! However his jumping would only take you to 1m possibly 1.10 level. He took me a year to find and it was only the persuasion of the vendor, whom I knew from the show circuit, to make me go to even try a 5 year old! However I did know what I wanted and more importantly what I did not want! I could sell him any and every day but he is not and will never be for sale.
 
Yes I do have a very experienced friend and she agrees that although current horse is nice he wont be the right one for me for a few years. I will definitely have a little bit of a break once he sells and then re-assess what I want. I think I want more an RC type horse than can be left for a few days, hacks and can possibly jump to 1m. I do not have enough time anymore for a young horse that needs riding 5-6 days a week and competing very regularly as I now also have other commitments. 5 years ago he would of been the perfect horse but not anymore unfortunately.

Exactly what I have just descibed. My lad does all riding club events and enjoys life. They are about just keep looking. What area are you in?
 
I am based in South Gloucestershire. The type you have is exactly what I am after but they are usually very expensive although I am hoping to make a small profit on this one once he sells.
 
Some warmbloods are sharper than others. What registry is he?
I have yet to meet a sane KWPN, Selle Français however seem to a bit steadier (although of course you need to judge on the individual).
 
To confidently buy a horse that is right for you, you need to have a very realistic idea of what you want, what you can cope with (mentally, as much as physically - and that includes on the days where you just want to go for a quiet plod, as much as what you want on your most exciting days), what your skill level is, and how competitive you want to be. You need a very realistic idea of what the horse is like - and if you buy a young horse, you just can't know what they'll take to, and what they'll end up like. You need the budget to buy the right horse - if you don't have that, you have to compromise, or accept that there's a chance you'll have to sell up and buy something more suitable in a year or two. And you need a big lump of luck too...

It sounds like you're not 100% sure what you want in a horse - more excitement, or something which is a bit more laid back about life, where on the spectrum you want your horse to be. I think a lot of riders over-estimate how much they can cope with (either in terms of skill, or in terms of what they really "want" to cope with).

Nobody gets it right all the time - I never have the budget to buy "exactly right", so I buy something I like, and then find it's a square peg in a round hole. Since I tend to like the peg, I prefer to change the hole, and keep the peg ;)
 
Well your not alone OP a friend of mine is on the third horse she has bought in 2 years first 2 not right for some reason or another then bought a very expensive warm blood schoolmaster dressage horse but he won't hack out so now has decided to sell him and try to bring her original horse out of retirement. So another case of nor really being sure of what's required .
 
It sounds to me like you have over estimated your ability. What you want to do can often be very different to what you can actually do. Many people dream of going out jumping fox and discovery on there flashy showjumper but in reality they need a quiet sporty cob type to go out with once in a blue moon and jump an 80cm unaffiliated class! I have a few 'friends' on my FB that seem to go through horses quicker than i have hot dinners because they want the flashy 'look at me' horse but they cant ride, their confidence is shot to bits and what they actually need is a quiet small fat hairy cob but they wont have it because its all about image so no wonder they go through all these horses! poor horses i say!

I think you need to make a realistic list and have a realistic look at your ability and find a suitable horse from there and not from where you see yourself in a few years time! Oh and pay someone to get it hacking alone so you dont have to rely on anyone else to ride with .. besides it will be more sellable if it hacks alone! Good luck.
 
It is pretty frustrating but I think he will take a few years to get to where I want and I don't think I want to invest that in him as I am not really getting any enjoyment from him.

well then you need to sell-dont beat yourself up, life changes and then we want different things. I think its a good idea to take a step back and not hurry into the next one-lots of people take a break from horses due to job/family/life and get back into it later :)
 
I sympathise with you.
I brought a Voltaire WB having inherited one previously who was brilliant.
B wasn’t the same. He was brilliant in the school and easy as pie to jump but pretty suspect on a hack. Alone and in company. It grated on me after a while. I spent a summer working on his hacking and he got a lot better but it certainly wasn’t a chilled hack on the buckle.
I should have sold him really but before that happened he got diagnosed with neuro issues and he was PTS

The next horse I brought was a total mistake. I wanted a dressage/ jumping schoolmaster but it was so sharp and quirky. I sold her on to a Brilliant competition home and she’s flying along. 10 years ago when I was younger and had less responsibilities I would have loved her. But I was totally unrealistic as to what I could manage time wise and what I wanted I got blinded by the idea of going out and competing loads. But in reality I don’t have the time to put into it with work and family.

My current horse is a proper allrounder. She isn’t a plod but she has the most amazing temperament. She hacks alone and in company and does everything I need in the school.

But I got her totally by fluke. She arrived at the yard on trial to be sold on. She’d bucked the old owners off and wouldn’t jump. She’s never ever had a nasty buck with me (occasionally she’ll have a squeal and a flybuck if we gallop but nothing major).

I will say that you do pay a premium for a really good allrounder. I negotiated the price down due to a small sticking point on the vetting and the fact they wanted rid of her. But the original price was close to 10k.
 
Hes only a youngster. Thinking back to when mine was 5 he was a nightmare. Really jumpy, spooked at everything. Hes 7 now and only within the last year can I relax, give him a long rein although he is still very forward and looky.

A warmblood is a huge step from a connie. I often look at warmbloods, tbs.. but always had cobs and welshes (which can be difficult) but think I’d go for something in the middle cob x warmblood, cob x tb first.

It should be fun, if it isn't, advertise him and look for something that makes you happy.
 
I wouldn't call buying 2 horses who only narrowly miss you brief a total failure. You needed something a little bit more from both, but both essentially sound suitable for you. Therefore it shouldn't really be that stressful to look again- if you're basically a competent rider without huge ambition then there are plenty around that could suit (assuming your budget is big enough)
 
I wold say I am a competent rider, have competed up to Elementary Dressage, show jumped to 1m (but had ambitions for Newcomers hence buying him) and done quite a bit of hunting. Budget will be the issue as only really got around 5k to spend depending on what I get for my gelding. Looking on Horsequest anything with a bit of mileage and sensible is 8k plus.
 
I've been through the exact same, in the past 2 years ive had 3 horses... I had an ex racer who I adored but he needed to be a light hack/ companion horse and I didn't feel it was fair to keep him as we both wanted to do different things i.e I wanted to do schooling, dressage and jumping etc but he would of broken doing that he was from a rescue so I sent him back and he's found a lovely light hacking home. I then bought a mare who was a tb x trakehner and well...she was super stressy couldn't bring her in to the stable block alone or she would freak, I would be in the school and if another horse walked past she'd have a meltdown and buck a lot. She wouldn't hack out alone and it was quite scary as she was big. I sold her onto a lovely home where she gets herd turnout and a constant routine with the other horses she's with. A month or so ago I purchased my Belgian Warmblood, he is awesome to school and so laid back, however wont turn out alone and also hacking out alone he does nap, but it's nothing dangerous and we get through it. In company he is a dude and confident around traffic, he can hardly keep up with the others half the time as he's just chilled and relaxed plodding along! He's a showjumper so he is so awesome to jump! I know how you feel though, I was fully ready to give up and I swore that if my new one didn't work out then that was me done owning my own horse as I already made a massive financial loss on my last mare.
 
The budget is the problem.
It’s not that you can’t get what you want for 5K, but you will be buying younger and unproven - that’s where the gamble is as you are finding out.

When they are proving themselves as sane & easy upper end RC allrounders that’s when the price goes up.

Alternatively you could look at a teenager to buy or loan? Maybe a loan of something with a vet issue that needs maintenance but still happy doing a RC job?
 
Oh man, if you want a novel on how not to buy the right horse(s) you've come to the right place! You know that saying about if you wrote all your troubles down and threw them in a bowl you'd grab your own back before you'd want anyone else's? Trust me, you'd be grabbing this horse back before you'd take on the nightmares I've had! Two horses is nothing in the grand scheme of things and most importantly both of these horses are ok, not dangerous, do a job and are/were sellable.

I don't mean to be dismissive of your problems and trust me I know how demoralising horses can be when it feels like nothing ever goes right. On the plus side both of yours are still alive and not racking up vets bills so you're already winning!

It sounds like yours will sell no problem. Just be sure to thoroughly vet people on the phone before arranging visits and that should cut down on the stresses of selling.

Great advice above about being definite about what you want and then take your time to try lots of horses. Don't go for the first one that feels sorta right and that it could do the job.

A LWVTB might be another option to consider? That way you have time to try the horse out doing all of the things that you want to do together.

Horses are cheaper up here so it might be worth travelling out of your area to see horses that in your area are 3K more? If you arrange a few to view over a weekend then it could work out very cost effecting including transport to get said horse back to you. So not the right person to take advice from but I've travelled hours/miles to see horses. I'm central Scotland and have been to Hereford, Liverpool and bought from Wales never mind all the miles clocked up travelling around Scotland. I also sold the only horse I've ever sold to Melton Mowbray, quite the trek!

I know it's easy to get down but maybe a wee list to take stock listing all the pros of your current situation might help you feel more positive about moving on.
 
I am based in South Gloucestershire. The type you have is exactly what I am after but they are usually very expensive although I am hoping to make a small profit on this one once he sells.

Once you have sold your current horse. then you can look around. All the time you do not have a horse, put away the money you would have spent on keep, shoeing, lessons etc etc and your budget will increase rapidly!! It is worth spending a bit more to actually get what you want so that you can then do what you want. Good luck - I hope you find your perfect horse very soon.
 
Problem is supply and demand, a good hacking horse that will be competitive jumping 1 meter and that will be good without regular riding will be in demand and you might struggle to find this sort of horse for 5k.

Maybe a break from horse ownership for a while to save up more money so you have a bigger budget and more choice?
 
That’s what I was thinking SO1 maybe try to save more and then be very strict and realistic about what you need next time. I agree with the others, it doesn’t sounds like you’ve had a massive mis step, but yes it is supposed to be fun so if this isn’t the right one, hopefully 3rd time lucky!
 
Sorry to read this I understand your frustration and agree with comments above. Sell the horse - he will be a cracker for somebody, save your money and have a horsey break to figure out what you REALLY want and need and spend a bit more cash. I'm in South Glous too and constantly window shopping for horses locally, I rarely see anything that sounds like what you're after for less than £7-9k sadly.
 
Thank you for all your advice. I am going to focus on getting horse out and about a bit more and then advertise him. I will then take a break from horse ownership for a while and assess what I am really want. I do feel a bit loathed to spend so much on a horse as they do break, maybe I will getting something a little unproven again but with less breeding and hopefully a bit dumber which will make it much easier to bring on than current one.
 
The horse I got in Ireland would have suited you OP he was six jumping fox hunter jumping double clears at training shows at 1.35 he was very green to hack but was very straightforward to get mileage on .
He’s a lovely sane horse with extremely smart ( would not expect to be sane ) breeding hes by Contendo out of a Cruising mare whose dam was by Clover Hill that’s super smart breeding .
He cost 12k and was a bargain.
You can find them when I saw the video of him I was on a plane faster than a ferret up a drainpipe .
Take a break save up start again .
 
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