Why do I get so anxious?

[Sarah W]

After a long break from riding I got back in the saddle last summer and - at the grand old age of 47 - I bought my first horse last October! I'm not, and never will be, a great rider but I am not a beginner either; I can trot and canter without stirrups, ride a gallop and (in the dim and distant past!) I've jumped a little. I'm having weekly lessons on a RS Lusitano and I'm making good progress.

So why, oh why do I turn into a nervous wreck when I'm hacking my horse? He's a 26 year old thoroughbred who's had a varied career; trotting racehorse, endurance races, trekking and, before I had him, a little light RS work. So he's been there, done that and has even had tiny children riding him.

I ride him 2-4 times a week, about a 20/30 minute walk around the block but the minute he snorts at something and sticks his head up I start to shake and more often than not I will get off and walk him home. If I can see what he's nervous about them I'm better and will talk him past it but when there's no obvious cause I'm more shaky than him! I *know* the worst he's going to do is trot for a few paces but then I imagine him falling over (he's not too steady on his legs) and hurting himself and me in the process.

Help!

(Ice-cream and Mars Bar sauce for those who made it to the end)

 

[pastie2]

I think that you might feel more confident on a stockier cob, I am not suggesting a plodder, just a horse that you might have to push on a bit. TBs are not for the feint hearted, even at 26 yrs old.

 

[HudsonsDad]

I am in the same boat(or back of a horse), after 15 years off I went back to riding with my new wife, we then bought our own horse in Aug. He's a 16.1 IDx or something. I have ridden for most of my life from the age of 7, been there done it got the T shirt. Now i find that I am more nervous of my boy than I have ever been on any school horse or friends(Arab Stallion) horses.
I think it is just because he is mine, and all my responsability. Hope this is of some use. My wife suggests Bach rescue remedy, seems to work!

 

[Fairy Dust]

I have found with confidence issues that it just takes TIME, take each step at a time. Set yourself small goals each week e.g. hack a little further or trot for a bit longer. It would help to find a friend/instructor to help and support you. I see no reason to find a different horse, just don't put any pressure on yourself, take all the time you need. Failing that…. have a few glasses of wine before you get on! Good luck

 

[Moggy in Manolos]

I think it is just a natural thing as you get older to not have the same nerves you did as a youngster.
I had a bit of a break from my mare, loaned her out whilst I did my final year of uni and then when I relocated. After having a 3 year break from my own horse I had lost my nerve alot, it has taken me years to get it mostly back but with age comes more worry about such things.
You have just got to try your best to keep calm, good luck

 

[missyme10]

I've had this also after a break, the break in riding was due to a bad accident which didn't help matters.
I was fine riding other peoples horses but when it came to riding my new horse I'd just bought I became a quivering wreck!
It took a long time, and a lot of work with regular lessons to overcome my irrational fear and even now its not completely gone.
My horse is only 4 so can be a bit silly at times although generally he's a really sane ride, but when he does get in a tizz, it usually sets a bit of panic in me. Its over very quickly as my brain tells me to get a grip and that I can more than easily deal with the situation or I tell myself my horse wouldn't take off or do anything crazy, but it does take away the enjoyment sometimes.

I still have odd lessons when I've had a confidence wobble, but the wobbles are becoming less frequent. I think you have to just persevere and in time it goes.

Also highly reccoment Rescue Remedy, works wonders for me

 

[Sarah W]

Thanks for your kind comments.

Pastie2 - yes, you're 100% right and I'm going to Ireland (with my YO and a friend) in a couple of weeks to look for a 15h-ish "leg at each corner" cob type who I can push on a bit. But Daan's not ready to retire yet - I think he enjoys pottering out - so I need to solve this problem.

Will look for Bachs Remedy here in Portugal but failing that, a couple of glasses of the local vinho tinto is a stonkingly good idea!

The yard manager noticed that I was walking rather than riding back today and thinks that it's a combination of Spring grass and Daan having been very well looked after over the winter has made him feel 10 years younger so she's kindly offered to walk with me next time. I felt such a wimp!!

Thanks again.

 

[Geebs]

Hello - just joined HHO and first post so here goes......

Can you hack out in company at all or with someone accompanying you on foot or bike? I had a big confidence knock last year and it made me really nervous hacking solo almost to the point I considered selling my beloved horse - I started worrying far too much about the 'what ifs'. I'm 40 BTW but remember how much I enjoyed riding as a 'youngster' when I was braver & didn't worry so much about falling off and injuring myself. So I've stopped riding alone for the time being and hack out with a trusty friend or with my OH who rides his bike. It has made a massive difference and I feel totally different now, my confidence and enjoyment of riding have both changed loads and I feel like the rider I knew I was but didn't think would reappear and also very glad I didn't sell my horse!
I don't think it matters about the type of horse if you are a worrier, its more the situation that makes you feel nervous etc. If the horse you ride is a good horse just try and get some company for a while and start enjoying longer, fun hacks again - you will be calmer and in turn so will your horse and you will both get so much more out of it, I find that in company if my horse misbehaves I just deal with it, if I was on my own I just think too much.
Anyway, that's what has worked for me and I'm not bothering about about solo hacking now - I am sure I will do that again when the time is right, but no need to add pressure to what should be an enjoyable time.
Good luck - I really hope it all works out for you.

 

[Sarah W]

Thanks Geebs and welcome to the forums!