why do people continue struggling with a horse they dont get on with?

Gembo said:
one bucked and reared so daughter fell off it then attacked the horse it was hacking with and that horse had to be pts and the other one was just not suitable and needed discipline which i hate but is now on her way to becoming a top 148 and have kept in touch with both now have a wonderful pony, he may his moments but all in all couldnt ask for more
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Ok the first one I can understand, however could you please explain the "I don't like discipline" comment? All horses/ponies will need constant reminders of their manners or they will take the mickey. Sounds like a flimsy reason the sell a pony tbh.
 
I absolutely agree with you OP and I'm not sure why you are getting such stick?

Some people seem to think there is a badge of honour that goes with owning a difficult horse, or that they are the only person in the world who is able to cope with their bad mannered horse.
 
I had the spooky one for over two years.Loved him on the ground, he terrified ME because I am not a brave rider, am elderly and quite novice.Loved him to bits, upset me when I realized I had to sell him, I cried for a week.NEARLY decided to keep him as a field ornamant
and stop riding but decided in the end that that wasn't what I wanted.It wouldn't have suited him either, he loved coming in, being tacked up, ridden the lot.Eventually he went to a lovely couple for the male half to ride.They are just the people for him and could give him a much more suitable home than me.I bought the newbie, who I have a lot of fun with and have given a more suitable home than he had.Sure, give the horse reasonable time, get some decent help BUT if, in the end, the horse/pony is not suitable for you sell it honestly, look for a decent home and don't feel guilty.
 
Well if you have a problem horse or pony its not that easy to sell is it? You are either going to have to lie or send to an auction or dealer or something or be honest and see if anyone will accept the problems. If it was that easy just to change ponies around then i am sure people would do it. Some problems are worth working through and some ponies you will never change-but if you have bought the pony imo you have to accept responsibility for it, including where it ends up. I do agree that if pony and rider don't gel after a period of time then maybe there should be a change. It boils down to rider safety in the end. If your rider is not up to it then its not fair on the horse or pony either.
 
It took over a year to form some sort of connection with our 17.2 Shire X. He was evil.

IT took about a year to click with our Anglo. Very reserved horse, miserable as sin.

It took a good 8-9 months to finally get our hunter to accept what was acceptable and what was not! Bargy, bolshy and bit us.

The easiest was my mare, and strange to say....she was the fizziest!

It's a patience game I'm afraid.

We have lovely and well-mannered horses....give them the time, then they will reward you with what you want.
 
You can't get on every horse and expect there to be miracles. In some situations, and I know a few, yes people probably should have given up and sold on. Realistically all horses are different and there aren't many that are going to trust you from the off, takes time to build a relationship (sure you've heard it all before).

Horses for Courses I guess.
 
Because judging by some of the resposes on here i'm a compleat idiot :mad:

Here are two reasons why I do it.

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=373541&highlight=Lucys+story

[youtube]86BocQEPefo[/youtube]

Herbie the one in the video is a forest bred forester and was a stallion till he was 7. When I bought him at 8 years old he had already had 6 owners :( The last two owners had only had him for 6 months each.

Lucy cost £500 inclu all tack and rugs and Herbie cost £550 inclu all tack and rugs. This is all I can afford. I would love to be able to go out and spend money on a well behaved ready made horse but I can't.
Oh ok I'll admit it I wouldn't buy a well behaved horse I'd prob just buy two naughty ones ;) :p :D :rolleyes: But thats me. I enjoy giving these last chance ponies there last chance and helping them to be the nice ponies noone else has given them the chance to be :)
That said I don't judge others who don't want the battels of a problem horse. Who just want a nice well behaved horse. (The only ones I have problems with are the ones who take on problem horses and make them worse as they arn't able to cope with them :mad: ) Aslong as like the OP they make shore the horse is passed on to a sutable home and not just palmed off onto someone else who can't cope and the poor horse just gets shoved from piller to post.
I have worked hard with my ponies and I get the satisfaction when they come right knowing my hard work and paitents has paid off. :)
I do agree it's diffrent if children are involved. They should not be made to battle with a naughty pony. Especialy if they are not expereanced enough to cope.
I hope noone thinks i'm taking a holyer than though approach to this by posting my ponies storys i'm not I just wanted to show it can be worth it. But I know it's not for everyone and why should you bettle with a horse you are not happy with if you don't want to. I just don't think people should judge me for what I do just because they wouldn't do it themselves. I dread to think where Herbie and esp Lucy would have ended up had they not come to me and that is why i'll continu to take in the naughty ones.
As they say Horses for courses and each to there own. :D
 
Gembo said:
well im sorry for wanting to enjoy horses while i can and not have to spend all my time trying to sort them out
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I agree with you. I have spent a good few years sorting out not nice problems and will not do it again! I am too old and too ill. All in all I have sold 1, returned 1 and given 1 away that were not suitable for me.

first time I got talked into buying a huge underweight ISH, he was great to ride, but turned very nasty and dangerous to handle. Final straw was when he reared and struck out at me as I went to get him out the field. I sold him to an ex YO who knew him well. I think he was eventually PTS as she thought she could sort him out and couldn't

I hate to admit it but it took me 3 tries to find the right horse this time. First one was given to me unbacked by a friend who didn't really know him. turned out to have a real temper! second I got from sales and sent him back when I traced him as an ex race horse was sold as ISH. He was totally unsuitable for me

Apercrumbie said:
Because when you're having problems with a horse, even though people make you feel horribly inadequate when you're having those problems, they will make you feel a hundred times worse when you're seen to be giving up. Of course it's silly and none of us should really care what other people think but that's how it is.
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This too! So many people I know are forced into keeping horses because of what others will think and it is not right. half the time the person criticising would probably get rid if no one criticised her. I was lucky in that everyone on my yard was behind me. I suspect if I did not suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis and had an ankle replacement that I would not have received the same support

At the end of the day owning horses is supposed to be fun and rewarding and costs us all a huge amount of money, time and tears. Having lost my teenage daughter I know only too well life is short and enjoy it while you can!

Yes horses are living things and to be treated accordingly. HOWEVER if we were doing something that was making the horse sad and miserable we would be so badly thought of. So why is it ok to keep a horse that is making humans (US or family) sad and miserable ????
 
Everyone has to make their own decision and take responsibility it and that can include selling the pony.I sold mine very honestly and took a financial hit.He was not sold to me honestly.Do not forget, there are often people around you that have a hidden agenda when they try to make you feel guilty about selling.They may be a bit scared themselves but feel one up on you.If you get a suitable horse and can move forward, where does that leave them?
 
I think when children are involved it's the most sensible thing, it's not a case of giving up on pony, if you've bought a project fair enough but that's a different story altogether.

If not and they don't suit then I don't see why any parent should struggle, you have enough on your plate with children (I can imagine!) let alone a pony or a couple of ponies that are not suitable for what ever reasons, besides it will only cause tension, won't be enjoyable, be a danger and put the children off riding completely.
 
I think it's an extremely personal choice, every horse is different and every person is different

My first horse was very "difficult" (I put it around marks because he really wasn't by nature, he was just cheeky and rude but with me and the lifestyle he had, his behaviour was a lot worse) and after almost 2 years of trying to get somewhere, I had to accept that we just weren't right for each other and were both miserable

Selling him was a very, very, emotionally straining thing to go through for me, but now whenever I receive updates of him in his new home, I see just how happy, relaxed and healthy he is - so I don't regret it for a second. It also meant that I could find my ideal horse, who in 4 months has already resorted my confidence back, is worth her weight in gold and who I think the world off! I also don't think a lot of the time it's "giving up", I think sometimes you can only do so much and then it's time to let someone else complete the situation. I believe you're a chapter in someone else's life, or at least I was in Joeys. One or two people did try and make me feel bad about it, but in all honesty, all three of us are now so happy, I don't regret it

I really admire people who can go through so much and come out the other end
 
I stuck with mine coz I felt she could be my perfect horse when she grew up. She's grown and she's not so i'm looking for her perfect owner.
 
Definately different where kids are involved, but sometimes persevering can pay off.

I have had my pony 2 years - and it was only last Oct / Nov that I finally felt we had got where I wanted to be. We have had numerous ups and lots of downs, a couple of crash, bang wallop falls, some awful times at shows. His nick name became 'asbo' and I nearly did give up on him last spring.

Now I really can't imagine being without him. The last time we did dressage we won our class and after nearly a year off jumping, we are going to start getting back into in again.

My pony has gone from a hooligan that I had to lead with a rope wrapped round his nose, to a donkey who will follow me in without a lead rope on at all.

The best things come to those who work hard at it!

That said, I took on a youngster last year also who turned out to have some issues that I was unable to cope with, and I wasn't told about, so he went back quite quickly. With him I knew straight away I was scared of him and would end up causing more problems than I solved.
 
Kokopelli said:
Sometimes after all that struggling you can achieve something great.
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Agreed.

2 years of 'struggle' (I call it committment, patience and pure bloody minded) and I have the most utterly perfect, wonderful, exciting fun horse ever. He does everything I want and more (jumps a tad too large for me sometimes) and I will never ever ever part with him.

The difference is I made sure I bought the type, size and breed of horse I knew was within my abilities, ok he turned out to be younger than I thought, slightly madder than I would have liked and to have partical eyesight which created challenges but he still was a horse I knew one day I'd be able to enjoy.

Plus to me a horse is like my dogs, once they are part of my family they stay, I've never given up on my rescue dogs despite alot of problems and I won't give up on my horse. Like it or not once I parted with my cash he was staying.
 
There are lots of reasons. I think money plays a big part in it, if you get a horse and you start having problems are you going to sell that horse at a loss? Or just keep quiet about the issues you’ve had and pass on a horse who may just do the same with them? Then there's not wanting to feel like you’ve failed etc. The other major factor is good old sentimentality; you decide to give the horse x amount of time to improve but by then you love the soppy creature and you can’t bear to see him/her go!

As a child I’m sure my parents would have liked to get me the perfect pony but funds were limited so I made do with what I had. I got one pony who was an absolute nightmare to begin with and it took me ages to gel with her. She bolted out hunting, had huge napping issues, couldn’t even get her over a cross pole but after nearly a year working with her we suddenly clicked. I still have her now, she’s retired and in her thirties. I’m so grateful to her for teaching me so much – not just about horses and riding, but some important life lessons about sticking with something, patience and not taking things for granted. I’m sure if you did a survey of all the top riders you’d find there were a mixture of those who only had good ponies they got on with, like the OP’s kids, and those who made it work with technically “unsuitable” ponies. I can’t think who off the top of my head but I’ve definitely read interviews with top riders who had stories like mine. I’m not sure how I’d play it if I had kids - I’ve often wondered.

I don’t know why it annoys you though!
 
I agree that if you really are not enjoying the experience then change the situation. However I totally disagree with the whole throw away attitude a lot of people seem to have, for instance I know someone who has had 3 different horses in 2.5years, as soon as something goes wrong its out with the old and in with the new.
Horses are not machines, things take time and even then they still go wrong but you persevere and grow together.
(Obviously you would be more cautious with a childs pony).
 
As mentioned already, it takes about 6 months for a horse to settle. I agree its probably different when kids are involved.

Ive had my first horse for over a year now and its taken that long to get a good bond with him. He's always trusted me on the ground, but not ridden. For instance it took 3 months of consistency (2 hours each night) to catch him whilst out 24/7 - previous owner tried for 10 minutes and then gave up. I now know how to catch him and have developed a bond so I can catch him either straight away or 10 mins at the longest.

I didn't want to sell him as he's had many numpties own him for a few months and then sell him on to yet another novice. He's not aggressive and very loving - all he needed was consistency and patience. I've now got an incredible bond with him and I trust him 110% despite him being known to nap. We have even started having nap free hacks. He's taught me so much that I can only be grateful to him.
 
Sanolly said:
Ok the first one I can understand, however could you please explain the "I don't like discipline" comment? All horses/ponies will need constant reminders of their manners or they will take the mickey. Sounds like a flimsy reason the sell a pony tbh.
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she was also very nappy and wouldnt jump any bigger than 2ft 9 with my daughter
 
I should add that I think it is a different situation if you buy something that is not as described. Eg. Sensible cob for happy hacking and it turns out to be crazy rearing bolting loon.

My second horse was an ex racer and probably too much for me when I got her, very fizzy, nervous, spooky, hyper. But I chose to get an ex racer and so had to get on with it, lovely genuine horse once we learnt to trust each other.

Current horse was a recently backed 5yr hostein just over from Germany, he is a real naughty git at times but I chose to buy a young sports horse so again I have just got on with it. He has improved hugely and I adore him.

Everyone is different and I don't knock anyone who sells on for something else if they are over faced or just not enjoying it but you do get people who pass them on just because they have stopped a couple of times at shows or they need more schooling then they thought or they happened to go into one on a hack once.
 
I, personally, would never buy a ready made "perfect" horse. I feel that I would rather rescue something that is in NEED of a home than something that has lots of options and anyone with a bit of money would buy.
I bought my TB mare just over a year ago, she was underweight, had a worm belly, an old injury to her back and when you looked at her it was as if she had totally given up on life. No emotion to her and she would just stand there! Once we got the worms sorted and built the weight back up she got quite hard to handle. The comment of "I dont like discipline" is where you will be going wrong. My mare is 16.3hh, well built TB, I am 5ft2, size 8, and 21 years old. If my horse did not get discipline she would have seriously injured me by now because a horse of her size could do a hell of a lot of damage to someone of my size. Some people may think I am a little harsh with her but once she got over the excitebale stage with all the new nutrients etc getting into her system, she has never put a foot wrong since.
She knows what she should and shouldnt do and what are exeptable manners and for that she is the perfect horse. Perfect on the ground and perfect to ride in all disciplines! It has taken me over a year to get a bond with her and I would NEVER sell her now. She is an amazing horse and any ready made "perfect" horse would not have a patch on her. We have learnt together and got a bond which means we can tackle anything that comes our way.

I do agree that when it comes to children it is a totally different story BUT there is such thing as a loan wvtb. If you are unsure of the pony, this is the best possible way to know if a horse is suited to you because atleast then the horse wont suffer for the new owners lack of time and knowledge. Horses being passed from pillar to post 6 months at a time will most likely end up at market or with the meat man as it eventually drives them mad and they then hit back with poor manners and some times dangerous behaviour. This, 8 times our of 10, is down to people not having the patience, knowledge or time to either try and work out the problems OR find it the best well suited home for life. You should know in your head what sort of horse you want if you are buying a perfect well behaved horse, so you should know the few times you try it out if it is right or not, if you go for a horse totally different to what you are looking for it is never going to work.
 
You need to ask people, Many people are opwen to the idea if they feel they can trust the person interested.
And as for the pony not jumping any bigger than 2ft9 and napping... This surely would have been found out in the trial of the pony? If you wish to use the pony for jumping you should jump the pony when you try it other wise how do you know?
Some horses hate jumping, mine had a bad jumping accident and although can jump perfectly fine loose, it is a different story with a rider. Because of this we will be doing dressage as I would not sell for such a reason.
Dangerous yes is a perfectly valid reason, not jumping big enough is a ignorant reason to sell a pony, sorry to offend but that is one of the most ridiculous reasons I have ever heard!
 
Because:
Perfect horses are as rare as rocking horse pooh, and even if you find one, most of us don't have the immense budget available to pay for it.

My mare is a lot more horse than I am rider, but she has perfect ground manners, doesn't buck, bolt or rear.
It's down to me to up skill, not give up and pass her on.
 
I have seen people struggling with what they think is their "once in a lifetime" horse. They have not got the experience to deal with behaviors the "lifetime horse" displays, and dont seek help from others more experienced. The horse then becomes a danger to the owner and others. In these cases, I agree, people should then sell the horse on.
In my case, my mare was a bit - well - mareish when I got her! There was no love lost between us. She seemed to go out of her way to be horrible to me. She even dumped me so badly, I had to go to hospital (very embarassing, I was knocked out)
To cut a long story short, 7 years have passed and she now is my once in a lifetime horse.
We have lessons regularly and she is doing brilliantly (if it wasnt for my instructor, I do think I would have sold her). She has taught me so much. I have alot to thank her for.
 
Gembo said:
but whats the point in spending a year or so sorting the problems out when there are enough horses and ponies out there that you just go and do what you want straight away
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It's not all about what the horsecan do for you. It's about the horse as a 'person'. I would never have a horse that was a brilliant athlete and perfect in every way if it had a bland personality. My number one criteria for chosing a horse is temperament and personality.
 
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I agree with the OP, esp where there is a child involved. I don't think it is unreasonable to want a nice pony for your child.

I had a horrible pony when I was younger, it was all my parents could afford. I didn't tell them the worst bits because I was so worried they might get rid of her!

There are quite a few people on my yard who I just feel sorry for. They have unsuitable horses for them, struggle everyday, some look terrified and you can see that they are totally losing their confidence bit by bit. I can understand that they don't want to give up but they physically don't have the skill, understanding or confidence to sort the issues out, they just escalate.

It took well over a year for my young horse to settle and become civilised. She decked the vet on her vetting, and was generally wild and unruly for quite some time. I had to be strict and disciplined with her for ages, shes put me on the floor countless times when handling her on the ground, fractured my ribs, ligament damage in my hand, very opinionated young horse.
I've owned her for 3 years on Sunday and I honestly would not have missed a second of it. She is now lovely on the ground, very well mannered and polite, she will still have her 'wild' days but they are not nearly as dramatic as they used to be.

I perservered with her because I knew she would come good and she was worth the time, effort and patience I put in. She is my horse of a lifetime and I feel so lucky to have her.
In the wrong hands she would have been a nightmare, I'm sure.

That said, I don't think there is any shame in not wanting to continue with a horse that is just too much and would be better off somewhere else.
 
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