why do people continue struggling with a horse they dont get on with?

Well it sort of depends, sometimes it comes right and then it really is worth the effort. If I'd only given my mare six months, like the OP, I might have got rid because we had some major wobbles over the first months (lots of bucking and me getting whacked in the face by her flinging her head up even with a martingale on). But we did click and I can't put into words how much it has been worth it! She is the only horse I've ever owned and has seen me through from 11 to 21 without me ever feeling like I want to move on to something else. She's a keeper, but I didn't know that from day one.
 
Didn't gell with my mare for over a year...kept with her....in fact she was a project to sell on and now i've fallen for her and she is going no where.

When we first had her i was like well this one is going to be easy to sell for me emotionally as i feel nothing for her. oh how things change. :D
 
Wagtail said:
It's not all about what the horsecan do for you. It's about the horse as a 'person'. I would never have a horse that was a brilliant athlete and perfect in every way if it had a bland personality. My number one criteria for chosing a horse is temperament and personality.
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I totally agree. Would you hire a known psychopath to look after your kids? No of course you wouldn't. The same should apply when it comes to finding them the right pony - 'horsenality' is everything :)
 
Wagtail said:
It's not all about what the horsecan do for you. It's about the horse as a 'person'. I would never have a horse that was a brilliant athlete and perfect in every way if it had a bland personality. My number one criteria for chosing a horse is temperament and personality.
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Why would going out and buying another horse ensure it had a 'bland personality'? :D
Everyday I see people afraid of their horses, not able to do what they want with them, and I think what a waste of time and money. You only live once. Its a very British attitude I think for people to be pressured to carry on regardless of whether they want to or its good for them. I got rid of my first pony after a year because she was mis sold, dangerous, and frankly I just didn't like her. Best thing I ever did. And believe me I got some stick for it, funnily enough by the other people at the yard with a similar problem :D
 
Sanolly said:
Ok the first one I can understand, however could you please explain the "I don't like discipline" comment? All horses/ponies will need constant reminders of their manners or they will take the mickey. Sounds like a flimsy reason the sell a pony tbh.
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So what? Why does she need a 'good reason'? Maybe they just didn't want it. Has it now become a crime to sell horses? I'll get on to horsemart and let them know

:D
 
I have had a few ponies that have been a challenge when I was younger. I stuck to it and they turned out to be fantastic ponies. Unfortunatley people want a horse/pony and go for young ones when the person has no clue on what they are doing they then totally ruin a perfectly good animal through their own stupidity and then when the damage is done they sell it. Then the poor horse/pony gets a bad reputation through no fault of it's own. Having said that if there are kids involved and the pony is dangerous then it's best to go to someone with thee time to spend on it. I am lucky because my Mini Shetland is a total saint with both my kids. I had him from 3 years old as a stallion and did not get him gelded until he was 5. My son used to ride him as a stallion and he was and always will be an angel.:D
 
Gembo said:
but i feel especially with children its not worth the risk and if you hang on in there by the time you've 'sorted' the horse and ironed out the creases its time to get a new one as youve out grown it :(
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Yes, with children you do not have so much time to sort out the problems. I think that if you'd been more specific in your original post that you were not implying that people that choose to persevere with a horse rather than sell on, are idiots, then more people would have understood what you were getting at. But there are, unfortunately too may horses and ponies that are not given enough of a chance and the each time they are passed on, the more insecure and difficult they become. Maybe more care should be take when buying. Personally, I always try to take a horse on loan before I buy, though this is not always possible. I go very much on my gut instinct and I have never taken on a horse that I do not absolutely adore straight away.
 
Apercrumbie said:
Because when you're having problems with a horse, even though people make you feel horribly inadequate when you're having those problems, they will make you feel a hundred times worse when you're seen to be giving up. Of course it's silly and none of us should really care what other people think but that's how it is.
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this totally. i think i am a bit middle of the road with this. my old eventer napped quite badly. i didn't know this when i bought him and TBH should have kicked off and returned him...but i'm a stubborn sort and so i persevered with him. in a way i'm glad i did because i learnt loads with him- i got him to PN eventing level. however, he always had a nappy streak and thats why i sold him in the end (i think deep down he didn't want to event and because we'd had abad start we never really gelled)...i now wish i'd sold him sooner as it was a waste of money in a way....
but...having said this a lot of people would probably think that i should have got rid of my current horse (in fact have heard people talking about it when they haven't known i could hear :rolleyes:)He was an absolute horror to back as he's cold backed- and he has launched me many a time. he's also got a wicked spook/spin combo.... but i love him to pieces, i have such a bond with him and i trust him in so many other ways. i really can't see myself parting with him.
generally i think that as long as you aren't scared of the horse then no harm is being done- but i really couldn't keep something i was scared of- that would be such a waste of money!
 
Years ago when I was 16 I bought a newly broken Section D as a first pony because I was stupid and thought I was experienced. I knew nothing about schooling, lunging and was straight out of the riding school and no I wasn't a good rider.

She was strong, unschooled and forward going. I was way out of my depth, she began playing up and I almost gave up. I didn't sell because I felt this ponie's future was my responsibility, if I didn't get it right now I could be ruining a pony for life through inexperience and how could I forgive myself if I passed her on? I wasn't letting her go until I had succeeded. Anyway to cut a long story short all went well after a lot of hard work over a year she was sold and is now a Pony club pony :)
 
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If you dont have the right facilities or cant train it properly it shouldnt have been bought in the first place.
This is the problem in this day and age, horses and ponies are majority of the time bought for their looks and what is said about them, not what they are really like. Anyone in the horse industry should know that what adverts say, and what the horse is really like are two different things! People lie for a quick buck so its the prospective owners responsibilty to work out if the horse is what they are looking for and if they can handle it, offer training it may need and have the confidence to care for it.
If people were a little more careful there wouldnt be so many horses passed around after a few months of ownership.
 
I'm not sure, some people dont struggle long enough I think.

I've had my horse 6 years this June, but it took me a year and then 5 lessons before I actually started to like her! And now I wouldnt trade her for the world :)
 
My horse is sooooooo frustrating, I can't really do what I really want to do. In all fairness, if I had known what I know now I wouldn't have gone near him, but 7 years later I still have him and he still has major issues but the 2 reasons I still have him are 1. He is a very nice person and 2. Without been big headed, most people would have moved him on but because of his issues, the chances are that he would be moved from pillar to post instead he is with me to the end, problems included, I am just too soft.
 
I tend to take on peoples cast offs/un-used and yes they come with problems and often i find myself asking why but I havent found one yet that wasnt worth the time ;)

Thats why I hang on to them, then again i am obstinate to the point of insanity lol ;)
 
sun-shine said:
So what? Why does she need a 'good reason'? Maybe they just didn't want it. Has it now become a crime to sell horses? I'll get on to horsemart and let them know

:D
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So it's fair on the pony to be passed around like an old football? on't get me wrong I sold a horse after 3 months because it frightened the life out of me under saddle, but at least I had a good reason rather than "it needs discipline".
 
When I was 9, my mum bought a 7yr old Dales mare for us to share, turns out she had been broken in then put out to foal and was totally unsuitable, we had some awful times with her, she was awful in traffic, wouldn't load etc etc and we struggled on - yes we had many a time where we thought we should sell her, but she's 23 now and still much loved, utterly nuts, but we wouldn't change her for the world, she made me a much better rider and she'll teach my daughter soon too.

Sometimes struggling on is the right thing to do, sometimes not - only the individual can decide that xx

ETA - here is a (rather awful) picture, last minute I decided I wanted to ride her in the competition that was on at the yard my mother keeps her in, and so begged and borrowed stuff to wear, plus I am 6'2" and she's 14'2)
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No CC please :p
I know I suck, I like sucking... fnar fnar
 
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A good rider is one that can ride a tricky horse.

A great rider is one that can improve the tricky horse and make it easier to ride.

Not all people have mega money to just switch horses till they find one they like, but every horse teaches you something - be it patience, stickability or thankful for your life (:p) you still learn something ;)
 
I had a tricky horse, my late mare. She was very sensitive and not easy at all, I cried more times then I care to remember!

Thinking about it we used to wind each other up as I'm sensitive and a bit of a drama queen too! Maybe we were too alike.

Anyway I stuck at it as underneath it all she was a good horse with a good heart.

She turned out fabulous, we were best friends who knew and trusted each other inside out. I learned so much, we won rosettes and she gave me many high times to combat the lows.

Sadly she passed away but I don't regret the time we spent with each other one bit and if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing. She turned me into a proper horse woman who now understands horses and are trials and tribulations just made our bond stronger.

I miss her everyday but I know what she taught me will remain with me to help me with other horses :)
 
Gembo said:
but i feel especially with children its not worth the risk and if you hang on in there by the time you've 'sorted' the horse and ironed out the creases its time to get a new one as youve out grown it :(
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I think children are very fortunate nowadays. It's not so long ago that you had your pony and made of it what you would. It either made you a better rider or not, but unless you were prepared to rise to the challenge you'd never find out.....
 
Gembo said:
but whats the point in spending a year or so sorting the problems out when there are enough horses and ponies out there that you just go and do what you want straight away
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Because it makes you a better horse person and can give you a sense of enromous achievement.

Some people are prepared to put in a lot of hard work to build their relationship and bond with their horse - and also to make improvements to themselves and their horse. And it can be such fun.

I had a very tricky little mare who gave me years of joy and pleasure. And I look back at the difficult times with such fondness, because I know what she became - fantastic.

Obviously if people have the money to change a horse everytime something doesn't work - then fine:rolleyes:
 
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Why did I? aged 13...... because I am not a quitter, and did not believe in selling the problem on.

Story goes had a 13.2hh pony, out grew it, went out and bought a 16hh TB!!..... who was an angel when i tried him. Got him home and after a month he decided that death was the only option for me, and took to rearing, bucking, ANYTHING to get me on the floor.

Was a knob with instructors, did the exercises, had back, teeth, checked had 4 different saddles yadda yadda yadda...... still trying to kill me. BUT- lovely on the ground!!

So I plead with my mum to let me move yards..... very limited turn out at current yard, and eventually she agrees... (she is totally non horsey does not get it) have had horse 8 months by now..... horses ridden personality changes over night once he can be out all day.

That horse taught me how to ride, how to be with horses, what to allow, what not to, confidence, and took me round 2 day events (we could not make a circle when I first got him!!), came to uni with me, and was my best friend and confidant, I very much doubt i would be the horsewoman I am today if i had just given up and got a push button horse that did everything perfectly.
THAT would be why I would continue with a horse i was struggling with.
 
I kept my horse when I probably shouldn't have for a number of reasons. I bought him as a 9 year old to go straight into competitions with and not have to do too much work. I'd had 4 years of watching friends go off to competitions while I hacked my semi retired much loved (I never resented it, but it was hard) old boy round the block and didn't want to wait any longer.

Archie was (still is) a fantastic hack and a lovely horse to have around the place but would put in horrible dirty stops in when fences got bigger (2'9" +) and also gets very insecure and nappy when he travels anywhere. We could only jump outdoors if we had 4 friends with us and arranged them strategically at each side of the ring so he could always see one of them! If he hacks there he's fine but it's like he thinks he's not going to get home again if he goes in the trailer.

The main reasons I kept him

1. Despite his issues, and they do have a big effect on some of the activities I bought him for, he does 90% of what I want perfectly. He's a lovely foward going, non spooky hack and is THE best horse I've ever known traffic. NOTHING bothers him. Even when I took him to ride with a friend who lives near the airport, he dealt with 737s taking off virtually above his head the first time he'd seen them. In fact he was better than the horse who lived there!
2. Although I know very little about his past, I felt he'd had a horrible time before coming to me and had been passed from pillar to post and deserved a chance at a forever home. He took a good 6 months to bother with the other horses in his herd and I'd say 18 months before he was fully integrated. It was like he didn't want to make friends in case he then lost them.:(
3. He would improve for a while and then go backwards, so every time I thought of maybe admitting defeat things would get better so I'd dismiss it - only for us to take a big step backwards again. This was a clue to what's coming next...
4. After 4 years he went lame the day after jumping in a field on quite hard ground (this was after 4 months of near-perfect indoor jumping followed by a few dirty stops outdoors in the fortnight before this). He'd had a fortnight here and a forthnight there of mild lameness which we (vet and I) put down to him being a bit of a wimp, a bit clumsy and bruising easily. However this was much worse. We never really got to the bottom of it as all x-rays were clear but he has poor foot conformation which vet thought was the culprit. He had nearly a year off work and hasn't jumped except for the odd log (never refused) out on a hack since.
5. Even though he could be a git to ride, he is a darling to handle, gallops to the gate the second you call him, loves a cwtch and is generally a lovely horse to be around:D.
6. I'm stubborn
7. I didn't want to admit that maybe buying him was a mistake (I'm NEVER wrong, you see ;))
8. Even though I didn't always like him, I love him:rolleyes:.

Two years on from his lameness, he's hacking like a trooper and generally loving life. I now LIKE him as well as loving him. I'm very lucky in that I get to take a friend's horse jumping but even if I couldn't, I'd compromise and do other stuff. We do the odd bit of dressage but neither of us is that keen (apart from anything he's grey and I'd never keep him clean enough!). We've had a go a TREC (less we say about that the better!) but mostly we just enjoy ourselves with no pressure.

Some people thought I should sell him BECAUSE of the lameness as I do still want to compete but in my mind the lameness is the reason he did the other things so it excuses his behaviour and knowing what I know now about his feet, I'd never let him go to someone who might put him at risk. I suspect he always had a low level problem, was probably buted when I tried him (jumped like a stag that day!) and for the vetting, but it took 4 years to really blow up.

Had I sold him when first considered it he could have had 5 or 6 homes before anybody understood why he acted like he did. He's 15 now and he's with me for life. He's happy in his settled little herd, albeit bottom of the pile, but strangely best mates with the top horse! The way he calls to my car as I drive up the lane and gallops to the gate to see me or sticks his head in my lap when he's lying down in the field and I sneak in for a cwtch, tells me he's happy with me. He may never have found that if I hadn't stuck it out.
 
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amymay said:
Obviously if people have the money to change a horse everytime something doesn't work - then fine:rolleyes:
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This is the crux of the matter usually. People spend, for example, £5K on a horse on the basis that it does X, Y and Z. When they have stuck with it for a few months only to figure out that it does not do X, Y or Z (without great risk, drama or Andrew Nicholson on board) they are faced with selling it for, again for example, £2K on the basis that it looks pretty in the field and one day might do something if it feels like it.

This £2K gained by selling this horse would only be enough to replace it with another horse that might look pretty in the field but would be just as useless so they might as well stick with their own useless horse.

People who do have the spare cash to make up the difference if they make a mistake will change horses sooner or later IME.
 
Because it teaches you to ride in a different style, improves your riding and widens the availability of horses in the future. If you have the experience to ride many different types of horses from working on those you initially struggled with, then quirky but talented horses will give you the ability to own a 5-6 figure horse for 4 figures. It also means should you buy and break your own youngster then you can assess how the horse goes and adapt your riding based on those horses you had to "learn" to ride.

I struggle with my current horse as he is incredibly gassy. I pretty much was miserable for the first 6 months and ready to give up riding for good. Now 2yrs on we are at the point of trying to pull it together at a shows in new disciplines we would like to tackle and things really go wrong when we are both nervous. The rest of the time now he goes pretty much foot prefect, we have a great understanding and he is the sort of horse I could never have dreamed of owning for my budget (under 10K) with a breeding that reads like a who's who. Despite not being at all dangerous he really is not most peoples cup of T to ride (most competent riders would never get on him including last weekends judge!) but he is widely admired.

Once we get this next stage under our belt then I will have my perfect horse. The fact it did not come easy will make me appreciate him more and eventually equip me well for my next quirky but talented partner.
 
I struggled with my last horse, but being a mother (not the fearless teen i once was!) I decided I could not take the risk of him rearing (right up) with me once more, or have him buck me off, once more. Enough was enough. I was not prepared to carry on battling with those issues, plus he was awful in traffic. He was quite a dangerous animal to be honest!
He is doing great things with new owners and I am happy for him. They have no traffic and are competing him and doing very well. I'm thrilled!
 
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