Why do some people just not discipline their horses?!?

[Ibblebibble]

what one person thinks of as rude another may not
rather like children, some people think they should be seen and not heard while i prefer mine with a bit of spirit and a sense of humour,but sayng that they know how to behave when in public.
rightly or wrongly i treat my horses in a rather similar manner, they are not robots so i don't expect them to stand stock still while i'm grooming, no shoving or swinging about but they are allowed to shift weight and get comfortable. my mare used to try and head rub on me, now she knows that if i offer up my arm to her head in the field then she can rub, to some people that would still be unacceptable .
There are a lot of people who don't discipline their horses, but perhaps it's because they're read threads on a forum where people get accused of cruelty if they so much as raise their voice to their horse let alone put a tree'd saddle on it's back or a bit in it's mouth

 

[fburton]

I know everyone has a different kind of relationship with their equine friends and everyone tells them off/disciplines them in different ways but why do some people just let their horses get away with anything??!

Mainly because they do not appreciate the importance of setting clear boundaries.

well because it's wrong to hit them, shout at them, growl at them...

Nah, not wrong - just unnecessary, on the whole.

The thing is that something like kicking a stable door doesn't take much to stop.

It doesn't take much to stop temporarily, that is true; permanently is a bit harder. Shouting is probably the most useless response because it is a pathetic punishment and many horses find the attention that it represents actually rewarding. Ignoring is a better option, but can be hard for some people to do consistently. Instant punishment of the water squirting type works but requires the person to be ready and "primed"; it too may fail if not done consistently.

Not sure what is more irritating the constant banging of a rude horse kicking something or the constant accompanying and ineffective nooooooooooo, ooooh you are naughty etc..........

... or the constant accompanying and ineffective shouting of "Stop that!!".

My pet hate is the concept of horses being 'rude'...

We all know what 'rude' means in practice. However, some take it to a ridiculous degree of anthropomorphism in assuming that horses have a moral sense of right vs wrong and choose to behave badly despite knowing it is "wrong".

This is one of my 'pet hates' people giving human emotions to horses.....they don't know they are being 'rude' to them another equine would be being friendly if they scratched an itch ( rubbing on you).

It's natural and understandable, but ultimately that attitude can lead people into trouble.

It learning the difference between being aggressive towards horses and being assertive, horses are herd animals and we need to make sure we're leader of the pack normally through use of body lanuage.

I don't buy into the "human as herd leader" story, sorry. It isn't consistent with what is actually known about equine social behaviour (although many NH folk would believe otherwise). I agree with everything else you wrote though.

 

[maggiesmum]

My horses can be horses, they can spook and dance about if they wish provided they do it 'over there' rather than trying to climb into my pocket!
They both come to call in the field are happy to stand not tied up to be groomed & tacked up and can both manoeuvre themselves around a gate with no prompting.
Asking for manners doesn't mean being aggressive it only means deciding what you will and won't except then consistently training those things in or out of the behaviour.

Every morning I bring in a 18yo 13.2 new forest (for a fellow livery) and my 3yo TB, when we get to the stables I give my 3yo to my 10yo son to take into her stable because her manners are far better than the ponies, who will have tried his best to barge out of the field and then drag me across the yard. Admittedly after spending all summer bringing him in he's getting the message that I will not be barged around but I still wouldn't trust him with my son having watched him barge his owners around.
Interestingly enough said owner's dog jumps up at everyone it meets :-/

 

[Sarah1]

My absolute worst pet hate! One thing I always, always, always insist on is manners. Bailey is a big boy and if I didn't he'd wipe the floor with me!
I can't understand anyone letting their horses be so rude!
He could be led on a piece of cotton and will stand on the yard all day if I ask him to and will stand untied in the field while I change rugs, fly spray etc. I would be ashamed of myself if he was any other way to be honest - I've had him since he was 4 years old so the way he is reflects on me in a big way!
We only once had an issue with barging a couple of years back and at 1st I was thinking 'maybe it's this or maybe it's that & he's not happy etc' until the day my instructor stood in the doorway of Bailey's stable with the door wide open & that horse didn't budge and I just knew he'd been taking the p!$$ out of me - needless to say he didn't get away with it again!
ETS - I don't agree with people giving horses human 'personalities' either btw and my sentence above proves why its a load of rubbish - there I was thinking he wasn't happy in his stable & all along he was just trying it on! He's a horse - he is treated like a horse not a baby! Don't get me wrong I love the bones of him but the way I show it is by treating him kindly & fairly - not allowing him to behave like a twonk just because if I shout at him he might think I don't love him!!!!!!

 

[Dancing Queen]

i find the horses are quite pleasant and i wish they would teach their owners some manners!

 

[jsr]

Maybe they have a higher tolerance to bad behaviour than you do? Maybe they don't care enough to alter the behaviour? Maybe they see nothing wrong with the behaviour?

That's life I'm afraid, I find the majority of children in my village rude, irritating, bad mannered little tw*ts but obviously their parents think swearing, spitting and being rude to adults is acceptable behaviour so I'm certainly not about to go telling the little brats how to behave..I don't have to live with them so I really don't care.

 

[Ibblebibble]

i find the horses are quite pleasant and i wish they would teach their owners some manners!

touche

 

[MiCsarah]

My boy was very bargy when he was younger. Used to literally run over people if they opened the door. We have now sorted that and he does respect my space. Hes a very opinionated horse though, but if I'm relaxed about everything, then so is he.
I find if people are always telling their horse off and putting it in its place it seems to turn the other way and the horse becomes more bargy or even aggressive

 

[Sarah1]

I find if people are always telling their horse off and putting it in its place it seems to turn the other way and the horse becomes more bargy or even aggressive

Never come across this tho perhaps it's the way you reprimand them rather than the frequency? I would imagine beating a horse could send it this way but I don't see how treating them firm but fair would?

 

[Pale Rider]

Just learn to train your horse properly and appropriately.

 

[fburton]

Never come across this tho perhaps it's the way you reprimand them rather than the frequency? I would imagine beating a horse could send it this way but I don't see how treating them firm but fair would?

I would think something has gone awry if a person has to reprimand their horse frequently, whatever the horse is like.

 

[ThePony]

Both ours are def not without character (alot of it!), but they most certainly have manners. I feel so proud when someone visiting the yard comments on how nicely behaved they are especially considering they were both a totally manners free zone when we got them!

Very occasionally they get a smack on the shoulder, a stern voice or a kind rewarding voice does what is needed to clarify the behaviour you want. If they are tied up then I have no problem with them shifting to see what is going on, but if I am grooming/picking out feet/plaiting/doing rugs etc then I expect them to stand still. Makes my job easier and safer, and does them not a bit of harm! They also know to walk alongside when leading - again much nicer all round and safer for 1/2 tonne of brain and muscle to be respectful of your space. Since they live out for much of the year they also halt to voice so I can do feet/fiddle with rugs etc in the field without having the faff of headcollars and tieing up. Again, they are still being horses, and I'm not the head of the herd or anything odd like that - it is just easier and nicer for all concered!

I do think it is important to reward the desired behaviour as some people can get carried away with just telling off. Ours get a pat and praise if they are standing still and being compliant and they get a pat when I am done faffing with them - it really makes a big difference to say the equavalent of 'thanks, you were good and did as I asked, have an apple/pat'! Makes us both feel good!

I can't stand the 'oooh don't do that darling' any more than I can the permanent shouters and smackers - both totally useless imho! A horse isn't deaf or stupid, you just need to clearly and consistently lay your rules down. It equals a happy and safe horse and rider/handler as both parties know what is expected and exhibit safe behaviour. Happy days!

 

[Sarah1]

I would think something has gone awry if a person has to reprimand their horse frequently, whatever the horse is like.

Yes you're quite right - what I mean by frequently is as much as they need it - you wouldn't reprimand them for nothing but on the other hand you don't let things slide just because you've already reminded them of their manners a couple of times that day! If the horse needs it then I can't see how it would turn them aggressive unless you were being aggressive towards them in the 1st place.
You're right in what you say - you would begin to worry if you were telling them about everything constantly but for instance with a young horse you might have to teach them a few things that you wouldn't have to, hopefully, teach an older horse with regards to what is & isn't acceptable behaviour. Done in the right way I don't think it would make the horse aggressive & bargy.

 

[fburton]

Yes you're quite right - what I mean by frequently is as much as they need it - you wouldn't reprimand them for nothing but on the other hand you don't let things slide just because you've already reminded them of their manners a couple of times that day! If the horse needs it then I can't see how it would turn them aggressive unless you were being aggressive towards them in the 1st place.
You're right in what you say - you would begin to worry if you were telling them about everything constantly but for instance with a young horse you might have to teach them a few things that you wouldn't have to, hopefully, teach an older horse with regards to what is & isn't acceptable behaviour. Done in the right way I don't think it would make the horse aggressive & bargy.

I agree, and your warning about reprimanding aggressively is a good one - it's better to reprimand without being aggressive, as you're less likely to provoke aggression in return (or make the horse fearful or resentful, depending on his temperament). When I wrote "frequently", I had in mind every few minuteseek: !) but less than once a day is perfectly possible and some manage much better than that. Just as with the use of pressure, we should continually striving for "less and less".

 

[Dirtymare]

Personal space is a key concept in herd dynamics -- the dominant individual can enter, or threaten to enter, the personal space of the others. Don't do things that will eventually convince your horse that HE is the dominant one in this "herd". He'll be happier and more secure if you make it clear that he isn't to rub against you -- if YOU initiate a scratching session, that's another matter! You have entered into HIS space to do something that he likes, and when you stop, that's that.
In other words, its not "manners", its key to asserting your dominence, and if you havent got it into his/her head that you are the dominent one, then he/she will walk all over you.
Still, if you want your horse to dominate you, thats fine. .

 

[stacey_lou]

My pet hate!! I cannot stand rude horses. Mine are always the most disciplined on any yard we've been on and people always comment on how polite and well behaved they are. They are by no means the 'not allowed to breath'

Same as the above, I was told the other week how well behaved my girilie is and how much she clearly has love for me which is so nice to hear and I do not get sick of hearing it

Granted she is not perfect she used to be incredibly naughty with the farrier but this was through lack of understanding and fear but now she is a lot better (touch wood!!!) and she is little naughty to load but again this is lack of understanding but stable manners I cannot fault them.

I have known people who have kickers in the box and all they ever say is 'Well I cannot get them to stop!' and yes you can I did it with a welsh cob mare! and we all know how stubborn they can be

 

[skint1]

I've learned the hard way to ensure that my horses respect me and at first I did find it hard but now I am much more positive about it, they are much easier to handle, I also know when I am in over my head and so appeal to my daughter or more experienced friends for help. The main thing with me is preventing it from escalating to a point that I then can't handle if that makes sense.

Interestingly, I can think of a couple of people who have made quite a thing about how rude one of mine is, and I've noticed they spend a lot of time yelling at theirs but not really solving the problem, so the horse is naughty and fair play they don't let the horse just do it, but equally yelling doesn't really seem to solve the problem either, but I guess it gives the illusion the horse isn't getting away with it.

 

[PC Steele]

??? So not shouting always equals a badly behaved horse does it?

I'm not a fluffy bunny by any means, but I have discovered that shouting AT Kal doesn't work - winds both of us up and when he's stressed his behaviour is worse.

Doesn't mean I'm not firm with him, though. He leads, loads, stands well and stands beautifully at the mounting block (didn't when we first bought him). He doesn't bang his door, doesn't kick and has bitten only twice in the almost two years since we bought him. He isn't bargey, waits for his feed, lunges off voice commands. He has only tried to refuse to be caught twice - in the very early days and we nipped that in the bud. He does paw the ground when he's feeling impatient (been tied for too long, wants to go out, etc) and he does call alot in the mornings - but he doesn't get corrected for either - don't really see the point.

No, I don't shout at him - but it doesn't mean I'm not firm with him.

P

When I am in work (mounted police) we all groom the horses for an hour 8am - 9am, some of my work mates just don't shut up 'STAND STILL' 'PICK YOUR FOOT UP' 'MOVE OVER' 'OH GOD YOU HAVE DONE ANOTHER POO' BLAH BLAH BLOODY BLAH I swear some of them shout for an hour it really does get on my nerves never mind the horses!!!! I normally sing for an hour and that probably gets on their nerves but my horse seems to get groomed and ready for duty without much fuss at all I am by no means soft but I have always found shouting pretty useless.

 

[fburton]

Personal space is a key concept in herd dynamics -- the dominant individual can enter, or threaten to enter, the personal space of the others. Don't do things that will eventually convince your horse that HE is the dominant one in this "herd". He'll be happier and more secure if you make it clear that he isn't to rub against you -- if YOU initiate a scratching session, that's another matter! You have entered into HIS space to do something that he likes, and when you stop, that's that.
In other words, its not "manners", its key to asserting your dominence, and if you havent got it into his/her head that you are the dominent one, then he/she will walk all over you.
Still, if you want your horse to dominate you, thats fine. .

Alternatively... manners are simply behaviours that our horse learns based on the boundaries that we decide to teach, and dominance doesn't come into the picture at all (because we're not in competition with our horses for scarce resources).

 

[Foxhunter49]

Why is it often said that horses that have good manners are 'characterless'?

I do not allow mine to rub on me so they have learnt that when they have an itch to point it out and I will scratch it for them. I will not allow barging, kicking or biting. I expect them to move back enough to allow me to enter their stable. I expect them to stand still when I groom them or tack them out, usually standing loose. I clip most of them loose and they just stand still.

Are these characterless or all the same obedient boring animals? No, they are not.They are all very different and all have strong personalities. Are they unhappy for it? No they are not, they are trusting of me (and those that work with me) because they know where they stand.

As for why people will not correct it is the same reason as to why they have ill mannered children and dogs - because they think that consequence for unwanted behaviour will stop them from being 'loved' where the opposite is true.

I do not shout at them nor hit them (unless it is something very severe) but I do consistently correct them, use a low strong voice or just body language to correct.

 

[Archiesmummy]

I know everyone has a different kind of relationship with their equine friends and everyone tells them off/disciplines them in different ways but why do some people just let their horses get away with anything??!

Watching one lady on the yard today grooming her gelding and he spent over 20 minutes kicking his front leg against the stable as he wanted his food NOW but he didn't stop because she just kept saying 'nooooo' in a quiet voice. Another lady who lets her stroppy mare rub her face all over her sending her flying and moving round whilst tied up knocking her here there and everywhere . Respect people...teach your horses some!

If it was her horse demanding food she didn't appear to give in, did she, so perhaps thats her way of teaching him no. Perhaps her horse, other people's horses have come a long road in their journey of living by our human rules, wants and expectations. Perhaps said stroppy head rubbing mare's attention to her owner was welcomed and appreciated - their way of a bond.

So long as people and their horses are in no danger let people be. If you feel they are out of their depth get to know them and offer help. When they wished to be left alone and deal with it in their own way let them.

I have a rescue dog who had a traumatic previous life before coming to live with our family. No one knows exactly what happened, we can only imagine. She has come a long way, from a nervous, shaking dog to a beautiful, wonderful companion. When off the lead she comes into her own and is such a happy, bouncy, beautiful and contented dog but does have the habit of letting her exuberance get the better of her sometimes. I, in my own way, try to guide her, teach her what is right and wrong but it has been and will be an awfully long journey. My own brother in law, who expects his dog to walk to heel at all times, has commented on her behaviour. I replied he did things his way, I'll do things mine, she is hurting no one.

Let people be, unless the horse is in some way causing harm.

 

[Birker2020]

I know everyone has a different kind of relationship with their equine friends and everyone tells them off/disciplines them in different ways but why do some people just let their horses get away with anything??!

Watching one lady on the yard today grooming her gelding and he spent over 20 minutes kicking his front leg against the stable as he wanted his food NOW but he didn't stop because she just kept saying 'nooooo' in a quiet voice. Another lady who lets her stroppy mare rub her face all over her sending her flying and moving round whilst tied up knocking her here there and everywhere . Respect people...teach your horses some!

I hate horses pawing the ground, that is my total pet hate and I always smack my horse if he does it, after I have issued a warning first. If he disobeys (and lets face it they all know the word no if said in a stern sharp voice). Also not standing still to be tacked up, that drives me mad. I am quite strict with my boy, but he is a big lad standing at 17.1hh and a sharp smack on the nose (shoulders are no good as they don't feel it) won't exactly make him head shy although my friends horse gave me a hefty shove with his head the other day which threw me against his stable door and when his owner said 'smack him' I smacked him a little hard with my hand as I was in a little shocked by the shove (although it was with the flat of my hand and made more noise which made it seem harder) I regretted it afterwards and did apologise (to my friend, not her horse) , but if it had been my horse I wouldn't have regretted it. My horse knows my weakness (bad back) and constantly tows me towards buckets of hay outside stables and feed bowls left on the feed trolley, I think they are good at taking advantage especially if they find your weak point. In hand work to instil a bit of disobedience wouldn't go amiss I realise. But its having the knowledge to know how to go about this which is what I find hard to do.

That said if I spend a little time teaching him right from wrong another way I suppose he would be a little better and I wouldn't lose my temper so much, but I never seem to have enough time/knowledge to do anything about it.

I hate people that molly coddle horses, and over reassure them, like 'its alright, good boy, there's a good boy, its going to be allright, don't worry Mummy is here', etc, etc. It drives me totally doolally and I want to punch them!!

If I lived in America I could go to Anger Management classes!

 

[Echo Bravo]

Having read most of the posts!!!!!! ERM!! dont go there Echo Bravo as you may get a sharp slap from TFC.

 

[Sophstar]

I hate people that molly coddle horses, and over reassure them, like 'its alright, good boy, there's a good boy, its going to be allright, don't worry Mummy is here', etc, etc. It drives me totally doolally and I want to punch them!!

Very much agree! I reassure my boys when they are truly fearful of something but a lot of the times they are just trying it on. I can't stand people who treat their horses like children and believe that they think and act like humans. Whether people think they do or not you only have to count the amount of rugs that some horses are wearing already (incase they get chilly!)

My cob has very good manners, and is known as a bit of a gentleman on the yard. He will back up when you want to enter his stable, stands still when being tacked up/groomed/vet/farrier/clipped and stands still when mounted. All the basics APART from kicking the hell out of his door because he can see you in the feed room or is trying to get attention if I'm grooming my other pony. In that case, I tend to ignore him but admittedly will lose patience and shout at him if he persists.

On the other hand, my little 12hh pony is a monkey. I know his full history (from a neglected home then spent years in a riding school and despises children!) He can be a true grump and is a very good example of if you get aggressive to tell him off he can turn nasty. If he fidgets when grooming and knocks me, he gets moved silently back to where he was. If he tries to nip you a small tap on the nose and a stern no corrects him. He has improved a lot and is a lot more respectful of my personal space because I know the best way to deal with him. As soon as you become wary and unsure of him he will try and kick hence why anyone that doesn't truly know him is told to keep out of his space. Respect is a two way relationship and if he or my cob doesn't want a lot of attention, I respect that and just do the basics with them. Every horse and pony wakes up on the wrong side of the field too sometimes

 

[Circe]

Just a thought... The people that always give their horse a smack for being 'rude', how many times do you hit them before you wonder why the horse keeps on
with the rude behaviour?
Surely if your method of discipline was more effective than the woman ignoring her horse, you wouldnt need to smack your horse more than once or twice?
Kx

 

[EllenJay]

Not sure what some of you discilipinarians would make of my boy. When I handle him, I can move him around just by looking at his feet, he leads beautifully with me holding the end of a lead rope, doesn't barge, steps back in the stable etc.... But when anyone else handles him he becomes rude and bolshy.

I can be as firm as anything with him, but he reads each handler immediately they touch his lead rope and knows exactly what he can get away with. People who have seen him walking nicely next to me will volunteer to turn him out and he drags them all over the place - and these are experienced horse people whos own horses are lovely.

 

[siennamum]

Why is it often said that horses that have good manners are 'characterless'?

I do not allow mine to rub on me so they have learnt that when they have an itch to point it out and I will scratch it for them. I will not allow barging, kicking or biting. I expect them to move back enough to allow me to enter their stable. I expect them to stand still when I groom them or tack them out, usually standing loose. I clip most of them loose and they just stand still.

Are these characterless or all the same obedient boring animals? No, they are not.They are all very different and all have strong personalities. Are they unhappy for it? No they are not, they are trusting of me (and those that work with me) because they know where they stand.

As for why people will not correct it is the same reason as to why they have ill mannered children and dogs - because they think that consequence for unwanted behaviour will stop them from being 'loved' where the opposite is true.

I do not shout at them nor hit them (unless it is something very severe) but I do consistently correct them, use a low strong voice or just body language to correct.

This, although I am partial to a bit of head rubbing so long as it's not too hard.

I really think there is a lack of horse sense on some of these responses and wonder if there is a correlation between some people's approach to their horses and the high rate of injuries highlighted on the recent thread.

 

[skydancer]

well because it's wrong to hit them, shout at them, growl at them... and they struggle to sit on the naughty step so what's left???

Maybe ground them for a week !

 

[soulfull]

There are a lot of people who don't discipline their horses, but perhaps it's because they're read threads on a forum where people get accused of cruelty if they so much as raise their voice to their horse let alone put a tree'd saddle on it's back or a bit in it's mouth

Echo this!!!

I hate horses pawing the ground, that is my total pet hate and I always smack my horse if he does it, after I have issued a warning first. If he disobeys (and lets face it they all know the word no if said in a stern sharp voice). Also not standing still to be tacked up, that drives me mad. I am quite strict with my boy, but he is a big lad standing at 17.1hh and a sharp smack on the nose (shoulders are no good as they don't feel it) won't exactly make him head shy although my friends horse gave me a hefty shove with his head the other day which threw me against his stable door and when his owner said 'smack him' I smacked him a little hard with my hand as I was in a little shocked by the shove (although it was with the flat of my hand and made more noise which made it seem harder) I regretted it afterwards and did apologise (to my friend, not her horse) , but if it had been my horse I wouldn't have regretted it. My horse knows my weakness (bad back) and constantly tows me towards buckets of hay outside stables and feed bowls left on the feed trolley, I think they are good at taking advantage especially if they find your weak point. In hand work to instil a bit of disobedience wouldn't go amiss I realise. But its having the knowledge to know how to go about this which is what I find hard to do.

That said if I spend a little time teaching him right from wrong another way I suppose he would be a little better and I wouldn't lose my temper so much, but I never seem to have enough time/knowledge to do anything about it.

I hate people that molly coddle horses, and over reassure them, like 'its alright, good boy, there's a good boy, its going to be allright, don't worry Mummy is here', etc, etc. It drives me totally doolally and I want to punch them!!

If I lived in America I could go to Anger Management classes!

The knowledge is not so hard, practice backing him up and coming forward so that he stops without getting too close to you. back forward, back forward repeat repeat repeat. then walk, stop again he must stop next to you. repeat. simple The back and forth is fantastic discipline and respect!!

Then teach him to move his quarters away from you, NEVER let him move any part of his body towards you. we are all easily distracted, standing talking while grooming and horse moves his front of back into our space, we are so distracted we move away WRONG!!! the horse just learned how to make US move instead of the other way around. clever pony

Not sure what some of you discilipinarians would make of my boy. When I handle him, I can move him around just by looking at his feet, he leads beautifully with me holding the end of a lead rope, doesn't barge, steps back in the stable etc.... But when anyone else handles him he becomes rude and bolshy.

I can be as firm as anything with him, but he reads each handler immediately they touch his lead rope and knows exactly what he can get away with. People who have seen him walking nicely next to me will volunteer to turn him out and he drags them all over the place - and these are experienced horse people whos own horses are lovely.

Is he Welsh? I have had 3 Weshies like this.

My lad is known on the yard now as Mr Perfect yet he still has character, can be cheeky sometimes.

AS for banging the door I find the only thing that works in the long run is teaching them to know exactly when food is coming. we go in and out of the feed room and they have no idea what is going on. I have taught mine that I call 'tea time Micah' when I am bringing his tea, He no longer bangs the door, only on the odd occassion will he accidentally knock it while waving his leg in excitement When I open the door to feed him he backs up 2 steps.

Comes to call in the field even if he was only turned out 20 mins before.
Stands to be tacked up without being tied up. I can leave the stable door open and he won't come out, although the other day I walked away and he started to come out, as I turned to come back he shuffled back in PDQ

If I leave him stood in the school while I fetch something he will stand and wait on command

The list is endless. I have only had him 18 months yet he has learned so much. I owe a lot to the people who raised him from 0-5 what they did made all the difference

Dont get me wrong he still has character, will ask for a scratch and groom session. If I am not there will sometimes playfully pull things off the rug rack outside stable, groom my bum when I am picking out feet but so long as he is gentle I don't mind. He steals polos out of my pocket too, I just managed to get a whole packet back off him before he swallowed it whole

I expect the same manners when he is ridden! but again he is allowed a little character, will have the odd buck when excited and I don't tell him off, he will anticipate walk/stand to canter getting all excited.

BUT he has learned to be gentle with me at all times. I have RA and cannot allow him to be anything else as I would easily get hurt, he is 16hh MW so has to be well mannered

 

[eatmoremincepies]

Allowing horse to barge, mess around while grooming, head butt etc while saying "it's all right, good boy, mummy's here" = actually erodes the horse's trust and often creates an anxious bargy horse.

Quietly correcting those habits using pressure & release, body language, ie calm firm but fair approach = better behaved horse that trusts its owner.

Shouting and whacking the horse = can work but not as effective as quiet firm correction. Ime Often seems to work for people on their first few horses, then when they come across a particularly nervous or aggressive horse, they find alternatives.

Barring that use sellotape.