MagicMelon
Well-Known Member
Well done OP. Hopefully she'll sort herself out.
Why do some people talk to their horses like they are pieces of
- Thread starter thatsmygirl
- Start date
Overread
Well-Known Member
The update sounds like the most positive response you could have had. That she's already partly aware of what she's doing and that its wrong is a very big step. Even though it sounds like she's made it a while ago it also sounds like she's got to a point where she's not quite sure what the next step is.
She has a problem with her horses and has only a limited range of tools with which to use. The suggestion earlier of a book is a good idea, but remember information today is very easily accessible. It might be that she's already "read the books" and the websites and still hasn't grasped things (some people don't or they get the wrong end of the stick very easily).
It sounds like if you give her some instruction through this avenue you've got right now that you could do a lot of good. It will take time for her to change; but if you can provide answers for her problems with her horses that will come a long way forward to helping.
Maybe offer to go out on more hacks/brush down/train etc... with her; with the view that she will be open to your instruction/advice and able to respond to it. If you keep the calm and sensible approach it should get through.
She has a problem with her horses and has only a limited range of tools with which to use. The suggestion earlier of a book is a good idea, but remember information today is very easily accessible. It might be that she's already "read the books" and the websites and still hasn't grasped things (some people don't or they get the wrong end of the stick very easily).
It sounds like if you give her some instruction through this avenue you've got right now that you could do a lot of good. It will take time for her to change; but if you can provide answers for her problems with her horses that will come a long way forward to helping.
Maybe offer to go out on more hacks/brush down/train etc... with her; with the view that she will be open to your instruction/advice and able to respond to it. If you keep the calm and sensible approach it should get through.
thatsmygirl
Well-Known Member
I wasn't looking forward to going up tonight after this morning and thought it was going to be really awkward but she spoke to me and was quite pleasant plus when she brought hers in although she didnt do much with them tonight there was no nastyness towards them so hopefully she has taken it in and things will be on the up.
She is a member on here so could be following this so posts about whipping her etc won't help but hopefully if she does read it she takes it in what people think.
Iv told nobody iv spoken to her, don't see it as their business and don't want to create a talking point on the yard that again won't help and might make things worst.
Hopefully its onwards and upwards and iv come home calm which is so much nicer
see how things plan out as time gos on but if I need to put a few reminders in place I will
She is a member on here so could be following this so posts about whipping her etc won't help but hopefully if she does read it she takes it in what people think.
Iv told nobody iv spoken to her, don't see it as their business and don't want to create a talking point on the yard that again won't help and might make things worst.
Hopefully its onwards and upwards and iv come home calm which is so much nicer
see how things plan out as time gos on but if I need to put a few reminders in place I will Firefly9410
Well-Known Member
Cactus mits are good for getting caked on mud off horses heads without them objecting. They are not scrubby like a brush.
thatsmygirl
Well-Known Member
I did buy her a magic brush :/
hugotheboss
Member
aside from the physical abuse, I actually find swearing offensive. It genuinely makes me uncomfortable and I don't care that the horse doesn't understand....I do and I wouldn't want to hear it!
spotty_pony
...
That's awful, you could ring a few charities and record footage somehow as proof?
Overread
Well-Known Member
thatsmygirl - you might want to edit and update the opening post - at 7 pages I don't think people will spot the updates and developments in things (if you can't write up what you want to add to the post and poke a mod chances are they'll be happy to edit the content in
Regandal
Well-Known Member
That's brilliant that you found the courage to confront her. I'm still worrying about that tripping horse though! With 'upright, boxy feet' - he sounds as if he may well have navicular.
muckypony
Well-Known Member
Well done OP, she sounds like an awful person with serious issues.
There is someone on my yard similar, but not quite as bad. She buys her horse the most expensive rugs, boots, feed etc so at first I thought she was one of those who really adores her horse. I overheard her schooling once (she isnt a good rider IMO, all from the hand and generally very novice) and all I could hear was 'stop being such a t*at', 'you will do what I **********ask you, you stupid horse' etc. I was shocked and thought she was having a bad day. But since then I kept hearing it all the time, she would bath him when it was cold and swear and shout at him for moving, she would call him names if he didnt do what she wanted in the school.
One day, I was jumping in the school on my very green 6yo. She joined in which was fine, but someone was videoing me. He pony has a great jump, but she doesn't ride him to a fence. I think he joining in was an element of 'my horse jumps better than yours'. I put up a decent triple bar as my boy was jumping amazing, was about 1m. He jumped it a couple of times with no errors so pats all round and he was finished. She came into it, stood off a mile and pony caught the back rail. So she came again and did the same. She slipped to the side and awful balance meant she came off. Obviously, pony got a shouting at for being unbalanced. Got back on, I asked if she wanted it down - no. Came again, same, hit the back bar. By this point its getting dark, jumps a harder to see, pony is tired. At this point, I would have put up a x-pole and called it a day, but no. I went and put the fence down without asking to about 2'3" to help the pony out. Came around again and cleared it but awkwardly. Did she stop? No. Came AGAIN and I think pony had had enough and put in a stop (nothing major) and she went straight over the ears. Initially o thought it was hilarious karma (sorry!) but within seconds she got up and starting beating the cr*p out of him, swearing and shouting. I was appalled that she would do it in front of us.
Fortunately this was all on camera, a little dark but you can still hear it. After showing her the footage and several others on the yard, I haven't heard her be horrid since, or even jump for that matter!!
There is someone on my yard similar, but not quite as bad. She buys her horse the most expensive rugs, boots, feed etc so at first I thought she was one of those who really adores her horse. I overheard her schooling once (she isnt a good rider IMO, all from the hand and generally very novice) and all I could hear was 'stop being such a t*at', 'you will do what I **********ask you, you stupid horse' etc. I was shocked and thought she was having a bad day. But since then I kept hearing it all the time, she would bath him when it was cold and swear and shout at him for moving, she would call him names if he didnt do what she wanted in the school.
One day, I was jumping in the school on my very green 6yo. She joined in which was fine, but someone was videoing me. He pony has a great jump, but she doesn't ride him to a fence. I think he joining in was an element of 'my horse jumps better than yours'. I put up a decent triple bar as my boy was jumping amazing, was about 1m. He jumped it a couple of times with no errors so pats all round and he was finished. She came into it, stood off a mile and pony caught the back rail. So she came again and did the same. She slipped to the side and awful balance meant she came off. Obviously, pony got a shouting at for being unbalanced. Got back on, I asked if she wanted it down - no. Came again, same, hit the back bar. By this point its getting dark, jumps a harder to see, pony is tired. At this point, I would have put up a x-pole and called it a day, but no. I went and put the fence down without asking to about 2'3" to help the pony out. Came around again and cleared it but awkwardly. Did she stop? No. Came AGAIN and I think pony had had enough and put in a stop (nothing major) and she went straight over the ears. Initially o thought it was hilarious karma (sorry!) but within seconds she got up and starting beating the cr*p out of him, swearing and shouting. I was appalled that she would do it in front of us.
Fortunately this was all on camera, a little dark but you can still hear it. After showing her the footage and several others on the yard, I haven't heard her be horrid since, or even jump for that matter!!
kateandluelue
Well-Known Member
Hello OP, Has the situation continued to be better?