Why do YO's get nasty when you say your leaving?

Gingerwitch

Gingerwitch

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Just why ? - I will never understand why when you hand in your notice many become rather vindictive - I have handed my notice in at jobs and been treated much much better -but do they not realise that by treating their clients like this the only fuel the fire.... so people become scared at handing in their notice .... so leave it till the last possible moment... which means that even if they have a waiting list they will loose out as if everyone does the right thing and hands in their notice then they will still have empty stables for a while,
 
I'm lucky in that I've never experienced this! I'm at a lovely (but quite expensive!) yard atm, and have left and come back 3 times now for various, usually financial, reasons and YO has always been sweet about it. The yards I've moved to and left have always returned any outstanding money as well. I'd hate to be in your situation though, it must be horrible!
 
This is one of these things I hear about happening 'all the time' but actually see very rarely, and usually in situations that are already unprofessional. Some people are just pricks, of course, and there is almost endemic poor communication in the horse world, which never helps.

The most unpleasant leaving I ever had was partly my fault because I let a bad situation go on to long and didn't handle it well. The one where the YO was actively unpleasant was because she was genuinely upset to see me go and handled it badly. I understood and didn't take it personally - other people were more upset than me - and we're back to being good friends now.
 
I think some people take it as a personal insult if you want to leave, it must mean you don't want to be around them. I shouldn't worry too much about it you'll be gone soon enough. If it was me i'd give them a box of chocs or something. Go that extra bit to be really nice to them. Thank god i've never had to go on livery don't think i could handle all the politics.
 
I'm on really good terms with most of my old yards, but there have been a few over the years that lost the plot. The last one really upset me TBH because we'd been there years, there was no reason for any ill feeling at all (we only left because we had our two oldies PTS) and I thought she was a friend :(

I'm just glad all my pones are at home now.
 
When i left my old yard which i had been at for 8 years i explained i was leaving as i needed an arena for my newly broken 4 year old and the YO wouldnt talk to me until the day i left but we see each other out and about now and shes always willing to have a chat i think its just they take it as an insult at first
 
I'm in a similar situation. I've been looking to move yards for over a year now and finally found the perfect place! I had to give a month's notice and I was so worried about how the YO would react that I put it off for several days. I said the reason was that I need a floodlit school so I can still exercise my horse when I'm working full time, a reason I think is fair however the real reasons would definitely cause a row!
Anyway, now the Yo isn't being nasty as such but keeps dropping in comments such as 'oh where you're going they're completely flooded' (saying this as we're on no turnout and my stable is close to flooding- new yard is so well drained). 'Oh where you're going there's no tea room, it's just a professional dressage yard' 'You'll have to ride down that main road to get any deceng hacking at your new yard'... The list goes on. I'm bored of it but only 4 days until I move! I should get my final invoice tomorrow, dread to think how much she'll over charge by!
 
I didn't have to worry about this last time I moved yards as I was moving due to pony being seriously injured by a known kicker twice his size, and had been seriously underwhelmed by the staff's attitude to caring for a yearling on box rest. YM was away on holiday, there were four other staff. One of them did their job, the other three behaved as if he were a fire breathing dragon. He was left standing with no hay, in a stinking box despite being on full livery, and they took his feed bucket away - I had left him some runny beet with danilon in it overnight, as he took ages to finish his feeds then.

I stopped giving a damn about humans in general at that point and just focused on my pony. Told the YM exactly what had happened in her absence after we had moved him. Will never speak to those involved again. May glare.
 
my last YO cried when i left, still in contact occasionally now. but then there was no reason for hard feelings, as i was moving 70 miles, so could not keep my horses there any more.
YO who give you a hard time are basically jealous of the yard you are moving to!but it is not proffesional
 
I think a lot of YO's take it personally as nix said, and maybe don't have the inter-personal skills to address that in a constructive way and, instead of looking at why you may be leaving and if they can improve their own yard in any way, they blame the person going because it is easier.
I left a livery yard a few years ago due to very serious safety issues. The last straw was when my (very flighty) mare and I nearly got run over on a narrow lane by a herd of horses who had broken out of their very flimsily fenced paddock. YO didn't want to know when I complained, so I found a new yard and handed in my notice. The week before I left, she informed me that she would not allow the carrier who in had booked to move my horse to come onto the yard because of 'personal' issues, and I would have to load my mare at the end of the drive, which led directly onto a busy road. Fortunately the guy I was using is very calm and experienced and brought along a couple of staff to make sure everything was safe. Then, just as we were about to get my poor, worried, scatty mare onto the lorry, YO came thundering down the drive in a carriage and two. She had one of her little pets with her and the two of them were laughing, like the thought of my horse freaking out and galloping onto a main road was the funniest thing ever. Fortunately she held it together and we got her loaded and off.
The whole experience really left me saddened - fair enough to take it out on me, but leave my horse out of it.
 
I think it can also go both ways....

When I did livery I was the last to know, always found out on Facebook and was told via text! Quite insulting as I'd bent over backwards for these people. Face to face please, I'm not a bitch! I don't think so anyway...
 
I've never been funny with anyone that has decided to leave whether in this yard or the yard I ran before, being the YO I find the same reflects in many liveries that decide to leave, many can't just leave and move on and enjoy their horses, they feel the need to tell everyone how awful the yard was and often exagerrate or make up lies about the place, this is no better than the YO who gets funny.
 
charlie76 said:
I've never been funny with anyone that has decided to leave whether in this yard or the yard I ran before, being the YO I find the same reflects in many liveries that decide to leave, many can't just leave and move on and enjoy their horses, they feel the need to tell everyone how awful the yard was and often exagerrate or make up lies about the place, this is no better than the YO who gets funny.
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So, so true.....
 
charlie76 said:
I've never been funny with anyone that has decided to leave whether in this yard or the yard I ran before, being the YO I find the same reflects in many liveries that decide to leave, many can't just leave and move on and enjoy their horses, they feel the need to tell everyone how awful the yard was and often exagerrate or make up lies about the place, this is no better than the YO who gets funny.
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Yes this is so, so true. Many years ago I ran a small DIY yard I very rarely had liveries move on but when I did I braced myself for all sorts of gossip that would then start flying around as to why people had left. And this was before FB & the like. Being falsely slagged off is terrible & potentially damaging to business.

The last livery yard I moved from I was completely straight with the owner. From the day I stepped onto the yard I had told her it was only until I found my own place. I even chatted to her about places we had viewed & the house purchase going through. She still went very odd/nasty with me at the end.

In hindsight I think she thought I was setting up a rival yard & was going to poach her clients.....but that said she did have form for becoming snippy & spiteful to people who were leaving particularly if they were going to 'smarter' yards.
 
I was on a yard for ten years, ended up as head girl, was left on the yard on my own constantly, looked after the place whilst YOs were on holiday access to their house and everything for ten years. Then as soon as I was leaving because I had managed to get lease of stables and land right next to my house everything got locked up incase I stole anything!!!

Needless to say I was shocked as everything belonging to my guys was in the tack room and i wasnt allowed in unless the YO's mum was there watching me and she was retired so galavanted and conveniently as soon as I handed in my notice she was never in between the hours of four and seven when i was working four til six and needed my tack to ride from 6 til seven before my parents came to pick me up. The day the lorry came they had locked the tack room and left for the day.

My dad just used his joinery skills and got my tack and boxes and bins and I left leaving my half months up to date livery money in an envelope in the porch. Shows you how long ago that was when livery was paid in arrears ;)
 
I've only experienced this on one yard but the yo did it every time someone left :( Nice yo until someone handed in their notice then she became vile to/about them for the duration of their notice. I don't think anyone ever left for a bad reason, one moved to a yard closer to their home, one went to uni and took their horse etc. But I do think she took it as a personal insult. I left because I moved house to a place where I can have my ponies at home. I admit I was a bit scared about handing in my notice because I knew what was coming :(
 
The first YO took it badly as he knew that a large part of the reason was that I didn't like the school surface (very deep and like custard when wet) as my horse was recovering from a suspensory injury and kept stumbling on it. My vet had actually advised me to move for this reason. Also I needed access to a horse walker and although he had bought 1 4 years earlier, he had still not got around to installing it. YO also did not like that I would not say where I was moving to (none of his business).

My 2nd YO always knew that I was with her until I got my own place. In fact she helped me find it, design the facilities and still visits regularly.
 
I've always tried to be pleasant - treat people as you would like to be treated, It is harder with some people than others - I even moved someone's horse to another yard for them as they wanted more facilities than we have x
 
Orangehorse said:
Just seems to be the same old story. Half of horse people are really nice, the other half are nutters.
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This in a nutshell. When I moved to my current yard with my last pony, the previous YO threatened to tie him on the main road if I didn't move him by the end of the week. I was only 17, had no transport and didn't sleep a wink until he was moved!
Luckily the yard I'm at now I've come back to twice and the YO is lovely. I wouldn't be scared about telling him if I was leaving.
 
Problem is that any Tom, Dick or Harry can run a livery yard, and many YOs simply don't have the professionalism, people skills, or business sense required to provide a quality service and to know how to behave and deal with certain situations. A good YO is a good businessman/woman and they understand the importance of maintaining good relations with all their clients, past and present. Anyone who disrespects, bad-mouths or otherwise badly treats a leaving livery clearly isn't one of those people! Thing is, you never know... the person might want to come back one day, or they might come to you for other services, or they might recommend your yard to a friend, or they might give you lots of positive publicity by word of mouth (which we all know means so much in the horse world)... so at the most superficial level, if you don't treat them right when they leave, you're potentially missing out on future business. That's why, even if you didn't like them and/or their horse when they were on your yard, even if they and/or their horse was a pain in the arse, even if their presence on the premises was irritating or stressful - you don't let on, because it really doesn't matter, and nobody has anything to gain from making a big deal out of it. My boss has maintained good relations with all her past liveries / pupils / other clients, many of them have sent other people to her and a couple of ex- full liveries have even come back, she treats all her clients with equal kindness, respect and professionalism and in return there are a lot of people in the area saying very nice things about her and her yard and sending all sorts of business her way.
 
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That's very true and I agree 100%. Business is business. Although anyone who lives in the world knows that unprofessional behaviour isn't the sole province of horsey people.

I will say though, there are liveries that quite like a lack of professionalism - not charging market rate, not insisting on rules etc. It's often these very loose arrangements that go the most wrong.
 
TarrSteps said:
That's very true and I agree 100%. Business is business. Although anyone who lives in the world knows that unprofessional behaviour isn't the sole province of horsey people.

I will say though, there are liveries that quite like a lack of professionalism - not charging market rate, not insisting on rules etc. It's often these very loose arrangements that go the most wrong.
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I agree with this. The last yard I was on had no rules, people were charged "mate's rates" or over the odds, depending on who you were, and pretty much everyone who left was bad-mouthed.

My friend and I were treated appallingly, despite doing the right thing and giving a full month's notice. We had always wondered why others had just upped and left, but our treatment left us in no doubt that we too should have just walked. Without going into detail, we were actually scared.

We have our own field now. No YO in sight.
 
i've seen this again and again. and its such a shame.

the last yard i was on and worked on, when i left i moved my horse onto livery soon after 3/5 liveries left and one moved to the same yard as i did - i then received instruction from their solicitors telling me they were going to sue me for breech of contract (never found out what the breech was) and for stealing their liveries! we replied but never heard anything back! anyway shortly after the last two liveries left aswell

Thankful to say my new yard is fabulous YO is fab cannot do enough to help and all the liveries are lovely! the girl who worked on the yard has just left for a new job and the YO owner handled it fantastically threw her a leaving party and even delivered her and all her stuff to the new job! love the yard even more now i think and have great respect for a YO who can handle things as brilliantly as that!
 
I gave notice on a yard. The day I was to leave I arrived at the yard to find they had put a strange mare in with the established small herd of geldings. My boy was having a breakdown, it was an accident waiting to happen. They only had to phone me and I would have gone there and got him in ( I got there at the pre arranged time) or at least they could have had the courtesy to stable the new one 'til I got there, or pulled my boy out. They were lucky my boy wasn't hurt. They also pulled up and broke my electric fencer which was there as they were too lazy to recharge theirs.

I was absolutely gobsmacked that anyone could behave so badly and put animals at risk. it was all quite deliberate.
 
My sister has been a YO for many years and can't believe she still is. People have come and gone and also come back again, that's how it is. A lot that have gone she's still in touch with, some you would never want to see again.Text messaging and face book messages saying your off is another way to p off a YO too! I'm at her yard with my pony and I have to bite my tongue as she wouldn't have any liveries left the way she gets treated by some of them, it's the nice people like her that go out their way that get treated like crap. It's no wonder some turn into grumpy old gits! Not only does she have to deal with their horses she has to be an agony aunt too!
 
was at my old yard for 4 years. YO was moody cow. Mates rates for some, different for others. Always pleading povery. Place falling apart, my horse always getting kicked in field or caught up in dodgy crap she had dumped in the field rather than take to the dump. Eventually had enough. Gave notice of two weeks (paid weekly with no contract) and said we would start to take our hay (30 bales) all the jumps, winter rugs, all the heavy stuff really so we didn't have so much to shift the following weekend. She was typically moody but, seemed ok. On the day we took the hay up to the new yard, I had a bitchy text telling me to clear my area of poo before I left. Replied wasn't leaving for another two weeks. Returned to find the field lock changed, couldn't even park our trailer back in the yard. Demanded £100 to release my own horse! We didn't part on good company!
 
Ive had 2 yard owners take it seriously/personally.....nothing has ever been personal when ive moved yards....

just facilities were not right or what was promised didnt happen.....

latest reasoning is politics and ive had enough of horses ....very sad but a combination of things recently :( .
 
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