Why is life so unfair at times?

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Victoria25

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Im not very good at showing emotions as Im usually quite a strong character but why is it sometimes easier to write things on a public forum and ask strangers their opinions than ask close friends/family?

Im 31 .. not a child … but my father walked on out on my mother 18 months ago for a woman he hardly knew (and doesnt even live in this country). They were the one couple that everyone looked up to - always so happy, nice home, home abroad ... then suddently my father decided he'[s found his 'soul mate' and off he goes .. they now live half live together (when she comes over). He's lost touch with family as he'd no longer interested in any of us (or so it seems) and all he does when he sees me is cry .. Im so angry with him.
I got married this year - he wasnt interested in any organising and it was left to me the girls and my mum.

My new husband has always had 'issues' he had cancer just before I met him, his best friend killed himself and before that he’d had meningitis, you name it, he’s had it. I was there through thick and thin. Six months after marriage, he decides that he’s sick of living his life through me and resents spending time with the horses, hates the fact my mare is in foal which is going to take all my time next year and best of all thinks he’ll let me down in future due to his ‘scattiness’. He has been taking hormone replacement and has come off it without weaning himself which I believe is a massive factor.

Then last week, my ex racer who ive spend the last 18 months bonding with, loving and finally riding ran through two lots of (very secure I may add) fencing, wiped out a garden shed and fell from a height and died instantly. Im an absolute wreck.

Why is life so soddin unfair at times – Im carrying on without showing any emotion as seem to have blocked everything but as soon as someone asks how marriage is … how my horse is … Im balling and so so angry with how life is.

Any words of advice –Im just fed up with everything
:(
 
Your father actually sounds very unhappy and I would put money on that it was the worst thing he has ever done but doesn't know how to sort it out. Maybe an olive branch would help? Your OH, if his behaviour has worsened needs to see a GP, he should be on a controlled withdrawal overseen properly. I'm so sorry about the loss of your horse, only time will sort that one.
Life can be rubbish sometimes, don't bottle it up, you need to let people know what's happening. Things will improve, there will be positives in your life but they are hidden in the fog. Big hugs!
 
Sometimes writing stuff down helps and as for doing on it on here ... well there is nothing wrong with that either.

You are an AMAZING women and dont ever forget that. Yes things have been pants recently but you will get through this.

If i was to give you advise i would say seek help from your GP if you are running low and feel depressed. Depression is not a taboo anymore and its perfectly normal to talk about it and get help so i hope, if you feel like you should, that you get some help and support.

Have you tried to talk to your husband about why he went cold turkey? I dont think it was his best decision but he might not see it like you do purely because he is going cold turkey from his meds and its sending him a bit off the rails!

Really hope things work out for you and never shy away from asking for help or just having an online rant ... its partly what we are here for :)

None horsey people just dont get us ... just had strong words' on the phone with my OH as im 'down the bloody yard AGAIN tonight' :mad:

Stay strong xxx
 
What a terrible load for you. Please remember that it is NOT weak to cry, crying is a great safety valve for what life throws at you. Try not to be too strong & bottle everything as that can lead to depression. Let it out, have a mini rant & rave at the world somewhere you can be alone. Have that cry, no words I can say will make it better but sometimes when things are rock bottom maybe the only way is up. Hugs.
 
for me the last 9 months to a year have been total hell and the worst of my life and in my opinion the only thing you can do it let it all out. cry, scream, sob, rant, to anyone that will listen, i will listen if you ever want to PM me. all you need is ears.

i ended up having a 4 hour melt down to my OH in the car that started as an argument between us and i just couldnt bottle anymore.
after that he understood and things just felt so much better for me. now that was a totally different situation, im just saying try not to bottle.
there is always someone to listen, and a total stranger or online forum like this is so much easier.

hope things get better xx
 
So sorry for you, yes life is unfair to most of us, but each time things are bad we think it is only us who is suffering when it isnt. Why is it so and so who are not church going people seem to have such an easy life, i wish i had the answer. I have asked this question over and over again and i think people should be held responsible if they are the reason why someones life is unfair. So sorry for your dad, but you must not carry his burden for him, you have your own.

When i get down i try to remind myself there are others less fortunate. What i find is my lifeline is i tend to always be a bit angry, i dont want to be and i am actually very soft, luckily my true friends know this and ofcourse my husband, but by being angry i feel i can cope, hope this makes sense.

I could write a book about the happenings in my life, Dallas wouldnt stand a chance.

Chin up as long as you know you are doing your best to this life then you will survive.
 
Thanks so much for the replies so far … I def don’t think that Im on the verge of depression myself – Im quite a strong person and lead a ‘this is the problem – how can we sort it’ attitude and my life can carry on as normal although with a very heavy heart at the moment. It just feels so unfair that as much I give to others, nobody else seems to be strong enough when I need them and it all falls apart.
My home life wont change, my house, my horse (oh nearly wrote horses then), car etc are all mine as I had before I met my husband so that’s not a problem … we’re in the middle of renting mine out and renting somewhere together so again that can be sorted by him just renting his own place with the dog.
My dad … we do speak don’t get me wrong he just sends me messages all the time telling me he loves me but hes just no longer in our lives and the family home is up for sale.
Im lucky I have such good friends too who have all rallied around, taking days off when we had B removed etc and helping me but Im just so frustrated with my husband for acting like a complete child and not being there for me.
My mare is currently in foal so all focus is now on her and I cant have her stressed although - boy that died was her companion and he was going to be there for weaning etc next year. My first reaction is to get another racer and give them another chance in life yet at the same time I feel like Im betraying my poor boy and feel quite ‘heartless’ at even considering this. Yet my head is thinking all sorts. With winter coming Im thinking need to get another ASAP so they can bond before foaly is born next year yet surely this is all too soon …
Im no way saying my life is worse than anyone elses xx
 
when everything is going bad there can only be good things around the corner. Sounds like you have had a rought time of it. Maybe you and your mum could stick together and support each other...but remember to see your friends who can help cheer you up. Best wishes ;)

ps. remember you will have the joy of having a new foal soon...thats definatly something to look forward to :)
 
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