Why is the horse world so bitchy?

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Fluffy bunny

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After returning to horses following a very long break I have been amazed at how bitchy the horse world has become!

In the 6 years that I have been back unfortunately I have encountered numerous selfish, self centred, two faced people who see nothing wrong in taking advantage or being so bitchy it's untrue. My oh thinks all horsey women are nuts!!

Why does it have to be this way, some people seem so jealous and are never just pleased for someone else's good fortune. I know there are a lot of truly nice people as well, I just seem to of met a lot of the rotten apples:(
 
You've unfortunatley found yourself with a bunch of not nice people. The horse world isnt all like this, but if you're on a yard inevitably camps/rivalry/dislikes will crop up, because at the end of the day, thats what women do best!
 
I had to go to the police the other day over abusive messages and texts from a yard employee.... Just a co-incidence that it started when I posted up on fb that I was going showjumping the next day!
 
From what I have seen, alot of horsey people think they know it all, and even in my circle, they bit*h about each other all the time. I have a few close horsey friends that I tend to stick to, and just pass the other bitc*y ones. I find it hard to understand, but know that it happens. Wouldn't mind but life is too short for that crap. xx
 
I shared a pony with my mother when I was in my early teens. We were on two yards over the time that we owned him. Both private livery yards, both completely lovely. When I bought my mare last year, I kept her at a very nice little yard, again private livery. Once again, it was lovely.

Moved to be nearer to home, and ended up at a riding centre. Dear goodness, but it was a shock! Used to come up and find the other liveries sat in a circle drinking coffee and eating sandwiches. I always smiled and said hello at first, but after a month of being ignored, I switched to blanking them. Whereupon they started giving disparaging looks...my husband was more hurt than I was, as he is a people person and I am more of a "yargh, gerroffoutofit!" type :)

Would never go back to that particular centre. Never felt at home. Although that could be me!
 
orionchristmas_star said:
You've unfortunatley found yourself with a bunch of not nice people. The horse world isnt all like this, but if you're on a yard inevitably camps/rivalry/dislikes will crop up, because at the end of the day, thats what women do best!
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I'd have to agree with this :) I find horsey places can be just awful, but I'm fairly sure it's just because of the type (gender!) of people there. I'm lucky at the moment to be at a very un-girly yard. There is some gossip and whispering but all I've heard has been good-natured, at least - certainly compared to some of the awful things I've seen elsewhere. I love a good goss as much as the next person but I cannot understand those who would purposefully try to hurt or upset someone else - and thankfully I think that attitude is shared on my current yard. I do hope so, anyway.
 
I think its jealousy and some people having nothing else in their lives, they have all day to sit at the stables bitching about everybody who is in work and not at the stables! Also, everybody is an expert, so the minute you do something they don't agree with, it's bitch central!:mad:
 
Fluffy bunny said:
After returning to horses following a very long break I have been amazed at how bitchy the horse world has become!

In the 6 years that I have been back unfortunately I have encountered numerous selfish, self centred, two faced people who see nothing wrong in taking advantage or being so bitchy it's untrue. My oh thinks all horsey women are nuts!!

Why does it have to be this way, some people seem so jealous and are never just pleased for someone else's good fortune. I know there are a lot of truly nice people as well, I just seem to of met a lot of the rotten apples:(
Click to expand...

We've come to the conclusion that there are only a few good apples in the barrel.......... but thank goodness for the few;)
 
Fluffy bunny said:
After returning to horses following a very long break I have been amazed at how bitchy the horse world has become!

In the 6 years that I have been back unfortunately I have encountered numerous selfish, self centred, two faced people who see nothing wrong in taking advantage or being so bitchy it's untrue. My oh thinks all horsey women are nuts!!

Why does it have to be this way, some people seem so jealous and are never just pleased for someone else's good fortune. I know there are a lot of truly nice people as well, I just seem to of met a lot of the rotten apples:(
Click to expand...

You have left out :

Interfering
Back stabbing
nosy
self centered
users
fickle
Harassing
cannot mind their own business
deceitful;
insincere;
hypocritical
intrusive
meddlesome

:(:(
 
The solution: stable on your own! I keep mine at my parents, its bitch free, I do things my way and don't hear anything about it, I enjoy my horses my way and bitchyness free!!
 
It's really no more than some other areas of life. Mammy groups at the school gate anyone? I don't have kids myself but friends that do and it's pretty similar to a barn really judging from what I hear. Substitute horse for child and away you go. Little Jimmy can read at college level. I got little Jimmy into the best nursery. Blah blah blah. Horsie had the latest fashion rug, little susie is wearing Prada baby. Really I have no idea if it exists but similar.

Anyway, most of what goes on at livery is similar. I find it amusing really. And yup I get annoyed at stupidity but I really try and keep my mouth shut. And yes I will say stupidity because I find it highly annoying people seem to think I fell off the turnip truck in Ireland having never touched a horse before I came here and therefore I need educated. Trust me I don't think I know it all and I try and learn what I can, but honestly sometimes I just walk out of the barn biting my tongue.

When I was riding out racehorses everyday for a living you have no idea at what levels females stoop to to get what they want. It really is its own little world. And to be honest men were no different. I worked for trainers that purposely did things to upset the apple cart. You have to eat or be eaten. One example when I was about to hop on Mr. Greeley. One rider said the only reason I was getting on him was because I slept with the boss which I hadn't or ever did. This guy had been making snide comments for awhile and I'd had enough. So I got off the horse, whipped off my helmet, proceeded to wallop the guy across the face with it, and got into my truck and went home. I told everyone where they could go too. I was the only girl in a team of 30. I put up with a lot of crap let me tell you. I was not fired not did I get anything said to me. Things were much better after that I must say. And the worst part about it was that before I came you got bonus money for horses you galloped only. I got on a good percentage of high earners and didn't think this fair to the rest of the riders so I asked it to be changed to a pool that we all split equally at the end of the month. But there you go.

Terri
 
Bitchy can turn into pyscopathic scarily quickly! Had to call the police eventually as after months of my ponies being targeted (water on their beds, nails in the stable, hit i think as mine was a wreck!) by one low life livery (with a long colourful history of things like this) I moved them to a new yard, week in and new yard owner got two texts with a load of nonsense about us on 2 different numbers that the sim cards had been snapped on so police were called and have logged it (along with a lot of other stuff) and if any of us get anymore texts or calls they will trace it. scary how things can escalate even when you dont react to the childishness!
 
It is? Not my experience.

I've returned to horses after a huge break and I've had nothing but kind support and friendliness from other horsey people. The livery yard I'm on is lovely, everyone's happy to help each other out but no-one criticizes or interferes.

There is the odd falling-out between some of the teenagers, but no more than in any other walk of life, and generally all patched up in no time.
 
Leviathan said:
You have left out :

Interfering
Back stabbing
nosy
self centered
users
fickle
Harassing
cannot mind their own business
deceitful;
insincere;
hypocritical
intrusive
meddlesome

:(:(
Click to expand...

:eek: Honestly, if that's what I thought of my fellow liveries, I'd move yards or question my own reasoning. See my comment above.
 
It's in people's nature to want to better others- survival of the fittest and all that. Add a hugely expensive and time-consuming to the mix and it's a miracle there aren't more full on fights!

I will freely admit my sister and I 'bitch' about people to each other. Quite often. It's a good way to let off steam without anyone knowing (we have very similar opinions!). And saves us saying it to the person's face! Why do we do it? Usually, the person does stuff we find wrong, offensive or just plain laughable. But to anyone' face we would never be rude or anything like that... Or take the bitching outside of just us two. So does that make us the biggest bitches of all, or actually quite nice, lol?!
 
There's good and bad in all walks of life I'm afraid. Some people are extremely competitive, and if they suddenly see you as a possible threat to them winning, they can turn nasty. I had a very bad experience at a yard, but to this day, I truly believe the woman concerned has a mental problem, and the only thing to do for my and more importantly, my horses sake, was to move yards. Peace at long last...I should also add that my horse hated loading, always took lots of coaxing, but as the tail was dropped on the lorry, she was trying to climb on straight away!!!! Horses are as sensitive as we are.
You should be able to enjoy your horse, and the social side of owning a horse too. If you get on the right yard, where other owners are supportive and fun to be around, it makes a world of difference. In general, the people I have met in the horsey world have been very genuine and caring, so
I guess I've been lucky, so don't give up. If you're unhappy and get that knot in your stomach every time you turn up the driveway to see your horse, it's time to move on.
 
Lolo said:
It's in people's nature to want to better others- survival of the fittest and all that. Add a hugely expensive and time-consuming to the mix and it's a miracle there aren't more full on fights!

I will freely admit my sister and I 'bitch' about people to each other. Quite often. It's a good way to let off steam without anyone knowing (we have very similar opinions!). And saves us saying it to the person's face! Why do we do it? Usually, the person does stuff we find wrong, offensive or just plain laughable. But to anyone' face we would never be rude or anything like that... Or take the bitching outside of just us two. So does that make us the biggest bitches of all, or actually quite nice, lol?!
Click to expand...

No, it's not in everyone's nature to want to better others. Many people are kind, supportive and enjoy others' successes.

I'm rather glad you and your sister aren't on my yard. Laughing together behind peoples' backs? Not nice at all. I have much more interesting things to talk about with my own sister than other peoples' business.
 
Its not just horses its any arena which has an element of competition even if its just keeping up with the 'Jones' nonsense. You should try the dog world they can lynch you just as soon as look at you and some of those would deem themselves your friends :eek:
 
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