Why won't the Carrot Lady learn?---by the spooky pony

spookypony

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I really don't understand the Carrot Lady sometimes! I showed her how happy I was to be back in the proper field with my friends last night, by not even waiting for my second carrot before walking off to join them.
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So this morning, she bribed me to come into the yard again (I made a fake nip at her sleeve to tell her I was displeased, but as usual, she dragged me in anyway, so I gave up). We went to the big place with the roof, and she made me go in even though one of the double doors was shut! Then, I got to canter lots, which was nice, but I also had to do that annoying thing where I have to move my butt around in a circle around my front feet. Why doesn't she get that it's really hard to put my right hind foot so far under me? Can't we just revolve the other way round? We end up facing the same way anyway!
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Anyway, then we went for a long walk. The walk was nice enough, but I didn't like the gravel so much. But then I got to go jumping up those steps in the woods, and she didn't sock me in the teeth for once. I hope she remembers to grab my mane the next time we do that; it really worked!
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When we got back to the yard, I thought I was going to go back in the field, but no! She pulled me through the other gate, the one that leads down to the pony jail. I told her I didn't want to go that way! First, I tried planting all my four feet and stretching my neck really really long. That didn't work. Then, I walked backwards many steps, until I was almost at the gate again! And what did she do??! She picked up a stick and poked me in the BUM, so I had to go forward again. And then she put me in pony jail, where there isn't any proper grass.
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Tonight, she came back, and yay! I got to go back in the big field with my friends!! So maybe she did learn...why do I have this bad feeling that I haven't seen the last of the pony jail yet, though?
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Spookypony-I think you are handling the situation totally wrong!!! Is your love of carrots greater than that of the big field? Is a carrot worth pony jail????
My advice to you is run. Run like you have never run before. Run and don't look back! Yes you may miss the carrots, and you may end up looking like a Rasta Pony with the dreadlocks in your hair but freedom is worth it!! Hell they can take your carrot but they cannot take your freedom!!!
 
But, but she has carrots! I LOVE carrots! And sometimes it's even an APPLE! And, and she knows where all my itchy spots are! But maybe you're right...except I tried the running thing before, lots of times, and then all that happens is a bunch of people come after me with one of those long lines they use when they want you to run around in circles for no reason, and they chase me through the gate with it. Hmm. Should I be thinking about maybe jumping over it? Or jumping out of the pony jail? The fence isn't that high!
 
Dear Spookypony,

At least you seem to be in a low-risk pony jail... you can still go out and about during the day. I am in a high-risk one and have no chance of having me-time on the nice green field.

I don't know what I have done to deserve this. I have been soooo nice to mummy after having scared the living hell out of two "trainers" as my mummy called them. It started last week, when this guy came and prodded me, looked at me and made my mummy make me run in circles. He then said I needed something called "Boxrest" (whatever that means!) and since then, I have been in Horse Jail.

Somehow this Horse Jail thing is making me really grumpy (you have to understand)... and recently, it has made me really bad, i.e. I wanted to actually harm mummy!!! She still thinks I tried "killing" her... tsk, tsk... I just wanted to bite her a few times and kick her really hard!!! Gosh, she soooo over-dramatises everything! Ok, I did pull my scary, dangerous, prisoner face... and even that guy called "daddy" felt threatened by my stare!

I don't know when and IF I ever will be getting out of prison... I really want to break out.

Yours truly,
Moody Mad Mare
 
Dear Moody Mad Mare,
There was a mare just like you in pony jail with me last week! She too had been in high-security pony prison for weeks. She said her feet hurt...do your feet hurt? Maybe it's the fault of the man that keeps coming and messing with the other horses' feet! Next time he comes, I'll be sure to kick up a fuss and make lots of noise, to warn the others of him!

Maybe if you make nice faces and cute wibbly-lips, you can convince them to give you some carrots.
 
Dear Spookypony,

Those guys who keep messing with my feet??? Hmmm... I have tried kicking them a lot, but never worked as some of them requested that I be made drowsy by the other guy that prods needles into me!!!

My feet don't hurt, but the needle-prodding guy did say he thought there is something wrong with my stifle. For goodness sake, I already told mummy via that communicator person that although she may think there is something wrong with my stifle, there really is nothing wrong... it's just... well... a natural limp. I tried to tell her I am fine, by rearing vertically, but she just does not understand!!!

My mummy told me about another horse she calls Prison-Break Bobby... who seems to have gotten the hang of opening these big locks in Horse Jail. I wonder how he does it???

Bye,
Moody Mad Mare

P.S.: When I make cute, wibbly lips, mummy thinks I'm gonna bite her... which I do... so I think I need to communicate differently!!!
 
Dear Moody Mad Mare,

Biting is not good! It gets you slapped on the nose! I advise not to do that anymore. I know all about the Needle People, and I sympathise completely. But maybe you can try being nicer to your version of my Carrot Lady, so she gets tricked into letting you out again?

P.S. I know this trick; I remember it from before when I had to live in a high-security pony prison all the time (long before I came to live here): you chew on the door! And if you really want to annoy them, you grab the door with your teeth and make horrible monster noises in your throat! Try it, it drives them crazy!
 
Dear Spooky Pony and Moody Mad Mare,

I had to spend all last summer in high security pony jail as my feet hurt
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. To start with I was secretly pleased
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as I got to lie down and snooze - the food donor was great and delivered my food 4 times a day and kept my bed lovely and deep and full of big fluffy white stuff
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. I really milked it - had cuddles when I was lying down and had all sorts of things bought to entertain me!!
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Then my feet stopped hurting and I got sooooooo bored!! I was then put in low security jail and got to go out and play with the ponies for a little bit each day before going back to my cell.
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I'm out with my buddies now in the field
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- only mine is tiny with no grass in it - Grrrrr!!
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I fancied being spolt so I put on a funny walk and the food donor took me back to high security jail!!
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Well I'd forgotten how boring that is if your not properly poorly - so I was proper grumpy all weekend and when the food donor took me to the school to see my funny walk I went motorbiking round it on 2 legs and threw in a few of my favorite shapes!!
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Anyway the food donor called me a 'con artisit' and I am back out on my postasge stamp - but she has given me a some extra wet hay (what is it with wet hay - it is so much nicer when its crunchy and dry
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.....)

Here is my top tips for surviving pony jail:

1. Pretend you love it and don't want to leave
2. Milk the attention - apparently it makes the food donors loose sleep.
3. When you go out do funny walks - makes them flap even more!!

See how well I've trasined my food donor??
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Good luck with it,

Love

Inca
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xxx
 
Dear Spooky Pony and Moody Mad Mare,

Just a tip for you- wait til mummy's mummy comes up to see you and pull that pathetic "no one loves me" face. My Mummy's mummy always gives me peeled and sliced organic carrots when I do this. Oh, and act cute when your friends mummy's arrive, they sometimes slip me treats because "i'm so pretty" FOOLS, i know how to work them!
and for that "boxrest" that the needle man suggests- if you run round and round your stable making loads of noise they let you out into little grassy fields so you don't do more damage.
Best of Luck,
Draggy
 
Dear Spooky Pony and Moody Mad Mare,

you mean I'm in high security jail?! I thought it was a posh hotel that I was allowed to go to every day! Maybe I'm a little bit silly but I like it here - I get a lovely soft bed which I sleep on for most of the morning & plenty of hay to eat if I can be bothered to get up. Also the big bully that I share a field with can't reach me 'cos his head & neck are too big too fit through the hole we use to talk. Sometime's the maid makes me go out for a ride but most of the time she takes the bully which I think is a much better idea.

Are you both sure this is jail? If so how naughty do I have to be to stay longer?!

Got to go now or I might not eat all my hay before the maid makes me go back in the silly field with the orange bully.

Love
Little Un xxxxx
 
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