Why?

Maesfen

Maesfen

Extremely Old Nag!
Joined
20 June 2005
Messages
16,720
Location
Wynnstay - the Best!
photobucket.com
I'm putting the cat among the pigeons here but I want to know why most of you say someone is brave when they've made the decision to put their horse down for medical or mental reasons?

To my mind, no matter whether you have one 'pet' or thirty, you should have no other thought than to put your horse first. Braveness does not come into it by any stretch of the imagination, our feelings don't count - or shouldn't but so many times it does.

You do what is right for the horse, you don't put it off because it will make you sad. Anyone who does so is selfish and cruel to my mind and I have no compassion for them as they are not doing the right thing for their horse. I'll be very sad for them that they are losing their horse but owning horses brings responsibilities as well as pleasure and we, as horse owners should always be aware of that.

Discuss please if possible.
 
I've thought about this before and come to the conclusion that while some of us are very practical and resigned to the fact that it is going to happen at some point there are others who are less so and who will be affected differently.
Some people have to think brave thoughts in order to deal with things they don't like to think about or see.

I wonder if it comes down to experience, if you have seen it a lot then you may be less affected by it. I have never had to have a horse of mine PTS (or had one die) but I work in the animal industry and see it all the time. I may surprise myself and go to pieces when the time comes but I hope I will just quietly get on with it like I do at work.
 
Because for some people, it may be tempting to leave things as they are and hope the horse will make a miraculous recovery - and it can take some guts to overcome that.

Because sadly, some people may face censure from others for making the decision. One poster on the thread I started about passing horses on said she had been called a 'murderer' for having her horse pts. It can take some guts to face that, as well.

Not everyone is the same, and for some people it is a brave decision. Being 'brave' to me is being afraid and doing what you are afraid of anyway - so brave may be a perfectly accurate comment to make for some people.
 
I don't think it's "brave" either to make the right decision to PTS but I do believe it is cowardly NOT to. I worked for a vet for over four years and I got really angry with the people who would not make the best/kindest decision to give their animals a peaceful release. There were umpteen cases of painfully ill or completely debilitated creatures that should, by rights, have been given sleep a long time before. It is never an easy decision but it is one that I have had to make personally a good few times during my life but that decision has to be made for the sake of kindness. Keeping a crippled/terminally ill/so-old-it-is-worn-out animal alive just because you are too cowardly to make that final decision is completely beyond excuse.
 
Yes with horses comes horrible responsibilitys.

Im in a crap situation with my Dressage horse who has just gone lame again this morning whilst walking out in hand.
He has Impar Ligamant damage & i know that i may be facing PTS it is a reality.

Im not sure if brave is the right word though, i don't think i could find the right word tbh maybe responsible owner?
I have his wellbeing at the forefront all the time & will do whats needed when it's needed even though i desperately hope it doesnt come to that i do think it may.
Maybe that is brave as maybe others would run away?
 
I guess the other thing is - it doesn't matter! What matters is that the owner makes the right decision for their horse. If being called 'brave' or anything else helps them to do that, that is the right result for the horse, and that is the priority. Anything else is just semantics, just fluff round the edges.
 
Roast_Spud said:
Because for some people, it may be tempting to leave things as they are and hope the horse will make a miraculous recovery - and it can take some guts to overcome that.

Because sadly, some people may face censure from others for making the decision. One poster on the thread I started about passing horses on said she had been called a 'murderer' for having her horse pts. It can take some guts to face that, as well.

Not everyone is the same, and for some people it is a brave decision. Being 'brave' to me is being afraid and doing what you are afraid of anyway - so brave may be a perfectly accurate comment to make for some people.
Click to expand...

for these reasons ^^. When the horse has been your beloved pet and member of the family for a number of years, facing up to the fact that there are no more wonder cures out there and your horses time to go is now. That is brave and does take guts. It is something everyone owning an animal should be able to face and make the decision when the time comes (and recognising when is the time) but that doesn't mean it isn't brave.
 
Because if a few words of comfort can help someone going through a awful time does it really matter what words are used or if we actually think they are 'brave' or not? Next time we have a post like this you going to tell someone they are not at all brave and to suck it up and face their responsiblities?
 
I think it can be a very hard decision for some people whatever kind of pet they are having to have PTS whilst for some it is much easier. Over the years I have had several of my pets PTS due to health reasons and with each and every one I have done so on the advice of my vet. It has never been easy and I have cried like a baby afterwards (even when I had to have my little pet hamster PTS) but I knew that each time I had done the right thing for the animal if not myself. Does that make me brave? I don't know really but people tend to say you are being brave I think to try and make you feel better about what is basically a pretty crap situation.

I think what is hard is that as humans there is always a little hope in our hearts that when something or someone we love is ill that they may get better, that things will be ok and it is this little beacon of light that we sometimes find hard to put out.

I nursed my mother-in-law who had terminal cancer and remember clearly a week before she died she told me that she had had enough. That she was ready now to die and she felt the time was right to let go. Less than a week later she slipped into a coma and within 2 days had passed away. I was with her to the end and it wasn't until her pulse stopped that the little bit of hope inside of me went out. I know it was the best thing for her as her pain had stopped and after all she had been through it was a kindness. Ironic that had she been an animal she would have been PTS and not had to suffer at all.

Death is never a pretty thing but some deaths are better than others. I just hope I can give all my animals the most dignified and painfree death possible and when the time comes for my death I am afforded the same.

So I guess for me then the brave part is letting go of hope, doing the right thing and then carrying on with life whatever it may throw your way.
 
I think it goes hand in hand with the attitude that PTS is a terrible thing. People keep animals alive at all costs, they persuade themselves they are doing so for the good of the animal. Although it is obviously not good for an animal to die, it isn't aware it is going to die it isn't a horrific thing for the animal. Being kept alive in many instances is actually the terrible thing for the animal.
They are kept alive to make the owner feel better, so they still have the animal to comfort them. Therefore to PTS and lose that, is brave to them.
 
Hmmm 'brave' I think is the wrong emotion it is more courage to put aside your own personal feelings and wanting your best friend to live forever.

There are lots of people who 'think' they are doing the right thing by keeping a poorly/old horse going for longer than it should, hoping for a miracle cure or the 'black beauty' ending of their horse falling asleep peacefully and dying in the stable one night.

My friend this afternoon has made the courageous decision to have her lovely 7 year old PTS by the vet after an accident which the horse will never recover from.
 
To have any animal PTS for health/mental issue's is the hardest decision ever to have to make IMO I think it's got to be an act of unselfishness really as you have to think of the animal in question and the future of that animal if not to PTS...quality of life etc...

I had my lad PTS after a serious illness and knew he was far too weak and tired to battle it on...even though I would've done it for me I had to think that his quality of life would be awful so I made the most hardest decision to end his pain... and will make this decision again should the need arise!
 
I do actually think brave is a good word. Because it takes courage to confront probably your worst nightmare as a horse owner. Just because it is the right thing to do doesn't make it less brave imho.

Holding your horse/dog/cat whilst s/he is euthanased takes a hell of a lot of guts, again imho.
 
I didn't feel brave when I had my horse PTS.

Heartbroken, devastated...lost. Cried like a baby. But I still did it because it had to be done.....for him, not me. Its about thinking of your horse, your responsibility to him to end the pain.

So, I wasn't brave, I don't think.....but I wasn't selfish enough to put him through a long journey and a major operation he probably wouldn't have survived ( but that insurance were happy to pay for)....
 
Brave...the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation


so no, having a pony PTS isnt IMO [\Quote]

Have to say I agree - and all to often people as owners with any animals I believe are selfish keeping them alive - if they are in pain / on daily meds with low or no quality of life the kindest thing to do is to PTS, how many of us are honest enough though to admit this and do it with any animal? How often are they kept alive to make the OWNER feel better?
Click to expand...
 
Why shouldnt putting to sleep your horse be a brave thing to do? Knowing someone/something you love is going to die but having to get on with it anyway is brave in my mind, no matter how neccessary it is and how little choice you have.

When my horse/best friend got sick last year I knew she was going to die. She had colic really badly and I just *knew*. She was 9 years old, fit and in her prime and I could see her writhing around in agony and the pain and fear in her eyes broke my heart. It was gut wrenching trying to load her to get her the 5 mins down the road to the vets, so they could help me. Seeing her like that, being the only person she would allow to get her on the lorry while she was in pain, trying to hold her up so she didnt go down in the back. Talking to her, soothing her. I wanted to cry but my mum was really stern with me and said.. 'dont you DARE let her see you cry, you must hold it together for her, you must pretend nothing is wrong'. How is that not brave?? Of course I had no choice but it was still brave no?
Anyway she died in the operating theatre, I watched them try to save her and I was glad I gave her every chance because she deserved it. It still upsets me now to think of what I have lost but thats life.

My mums ex eventer we had to choose to PTS. He was 23 had a bad heart murmer and couldnt be ridden anymore. He had started to get stiff with lack of exercise and he was struggling to hold weight so in September after the summer and before the winter we had him shot. We said our goodbyes and again my mum wouldnt let us cry in front of him.
He trotted around to the truck where his body was going to be taken in. he was excited, he thought he was going to a show! He was an ex event horse and a very proud animal, he didnt cope well with old age as his body couldnt keep up with his spirit.
We went round the back as the man doing the shooting didnt want us there. we huddled together in the dark and cried and cried as we heard the gunshot, it was awful knowing what was happening to our beautiful horse, feeling terribly terribly guilty as we knew he didnt want to leave his life but knowing it was for the best. Is that not brave???

Yes having a horse be PTS is often a neccessity that you have to come to terms with, yes prolonging a horses life and letting it suffer is a very very selfish thing to do but don't deny those that do make the best decision the label of being brave.

Thats my view :)
 
nativetyponies said:
Brave...the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation


so no, having a pony PTS isnt IMO
Click to expand...

Having not been through it I can only imagine I will feel pain, fear and uncertainty when the horrible time comes. So I think 'brave' is possibly a work which could be used.
 
From this perspective:

Brave is the opposite of cowardly/cowardice. As many have said, it is is "cowardly" not to pts just to protect your own feelings, so therefore the opposite to this would be "brave" to face the horrible emotiotions you would feel and make the decision to pts.

Anyway, whatever word is used, at the end of the day it is still the RIGHT decision.
 
Thanks for your thoughts, it's very interesting.

wipeout said:
I've thought about this before and come to the conclusion that while some of us are very practical and resigned to the fact that it is going to happen at some point there are others who are less so and who will be affected differently.
Some people have to think brave thoughts in order to deal with things they don't like to think about or see.

I wonder if it comes down to experience, if you have seen it a lot then you may be less affected by it. I have never had to have a horse of mine PTS (or had one die) but I work in the animal industry and see it all the time. I may surprise myself and go to pieces when the time comes but I hope I will just quietly get on with it like I do at work.
Click to expand...

If it helps, I always get upset but I'm beggared if I'm going to let someone see me or God forbid, try to persuade me not to put down. I will have gone through all the options, it's not something I take lightly but I was brought up to act responsibly towards anything in my charge no matter what the consequences are for me. I actually find it hard that others don't have that drummed into them now; we'd see a lot less suffering and full rescue centres if it was.

Faithkat said:
I don't think it's "brave" either to make the right decision to PTS but I do believe it is cowardly NOT to. I worked for a vet for over four years and I got really angry with the people who would not make the best/kindest decision to give their animals a peaceful release. There were umpteen cases of painfully ill or completely debilitated creatures that should, by rights, have been given sleep a long time before. It is never an easy decision but it is one that I have had to make personally a good few times during my life but that decision has to be made for the sake of kindness. Keeping a crippled/terminally ill/so-old-it-is-worn-out animal alive just because you are too cowardly to make that final decision is completely beyond excuse.
Click to expand...

So agree with you.

Roast_Spud said:
I guess the other thing is - it doesn't matter! What matters is that the owner makes the right decision for their horse. If being called 'brave' or anything else helps them to do that, that is the right result for the horse, and that is the priority. Anything else is just semantics, just fluff round the edges.
Click to expand...

Yes, I see that and appreciate it but brave just seems the wrong word to me when we're talking about what is best for the animal.

FestiveNeighs said:
for these reasons ^^. When the horse has been your beloved pet and member of the family for a number of years, facing up to the fact that there are no more wonder cures out there and your horses time to go is now. That is brave and does take guts. It is something everyone owning an animal should be able to face and make the decision when the time comes (and recognising when is the time) but that doesn't mean it isn't brave.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I just can't see what is brave about doing the kindest thing you can for your horse/pet.

cobgirlie said:
Because if a few words of comfort can help someone going through a awful time does it really matter what words are used or if we actually think they are 'brave' or not? Next time we have a post like this you going to tell someone they are not at all brave and to suck it up and face their responsiblities?
Click to expand...

No, I will commiserate with them and say they've made the right and responsible decision and the animal would thank them for it. I have already, far too many times as it's a sad fact of life with animals.

The Rebel Reindeer said:
I do actually think brave is a good word. Because it takes courage to confront probably your worst nightmare as a horse owner. Just because it is the right thing to do doesn't make it less brave imho.

Holding your horse/dog/cat whilst s/he is euthanased takes a hell of a lot of guts, again imho.
Click to expand...

Again, have to disagree. It is the last act of kindness you can do for them and to a certain extent, your feelings shouldn't (but they will) come into doing what's best for our animals even right until the end.

nativetyponies said:
Brave...the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation


so no, having a pony PTS isnt IMO
Click to expand...

Thank you, that was my point exactly. I just can't see the braveness in doing the right thing for something you purport to love.
 
I disagree, maybe its not necessarily a brave decision to make but I think having a horse (or any animal) PTS is a brave act to carry out.

Brave...the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation

I confronted all this when I choose to have my mare PTS a few weeks ago.

I have been around horses most of my life and I have had to face the decision of PTS twice. The first time brave didn't come into it - there was no time to think about it. The second time I think I was brave as there was uncertainty - was I making the right decision? was there something else I could try? I was intimidated by some (non-horsey) people judging me. I had a week or so between the decision being made and it actually happening - one of the worst weeks of my life.

I was scared as I choose to have her shot by the hunt as I decided it was the best way for her. I have never seen a horse shot, I have never even been near a gun and I was scared to death of what was going to happen. I knew it was going to be horrific but I didn't let my mare see how scared I was.

Maybe if you deal with this kind of thing day in day out, you won't see it as 'brave' but for most animal owners this decision is made maybe once or twice in a lifetime if you're lucky. It is quite often a horrific thing to go through for many people and you have to have courage and be brave to follow it through.
 
Whatever the word is as long as the owner has done this a day too early rather than a day too late to me that is the key thing.

And I think people do have to be brave as it is so easy to put this off for a little while longer, a little while longer, because of their own heartbreak. So they bravely put aside their own feelings for the good of their horse because it is the right thing to do.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top