Worst thing the cat's done.

I barely got so sleep last night due to the loud snoring of my cat in the room next door, with doors closed! He’s so loud it’s like a human snore 😂
He’s always been like it, loving a really deep sleep. Mostly in the middle of the floor of any room. He comes in, collapses dramatically, stretches and rolls, then just 30 seconds later he’s snoring!
 
This morning on a local FB site there was a panicked post that showed that the tracker on their 6 month old kitten was showing as going 5 miles from their village to a school and then a further couple of miles on to an army camp. The owner wasn’t allowed to go onto the camp and then the tracker died. Happily, due the powers of social media, the owner of the car was located and the kitten was found in the engine! Quite an adventure! 🙂
 
southerncomfort said:
Came home to find that the cat had turned the TV on and was sat quite happily on the sofa watching Celebrity Catchphrase!
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My cat did this years ago. I lived alone at the time and sh*t myself. It was about 3am and I thought someone had broken in (somebody did actually break into my friend's house when I was a teen and they watched TV and ate their food!).
 
Narrative of a pigeon hunt...

Look what the kitten did, says BlackCat. Isn't he a bad kitten? Aren't I a good and innocent BlackCat?
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Aren't you going to smack his bottom? says BC. Look what he's doing to the (vile, elderly) carpet!
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Well, if you're going to laugh like that I'll sit here and wash my bottom....
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Mum! Mum! says little kitten (actually a hulking massive fat little weirdo kitten, but we'll gloss over that). Look at my feet!! And I don't have a pigeon anymore!
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Look at them! (yes little weirdo, I'm looking, as much as I can while having hysterics)
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Mum! And from this angle!
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I don't know what he's complaining about, says BC. I'm much more efficient at this carcass-stripping thing anyway. Now go away or I'll growl at you again.
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I would like their metabolism. I have three, they have two 400g tins of cat food a day, plus umlimited dry snacks, and still manage to eat at least one mouse a day each, the only scene of crime evidence is the odd bit of gut on the carpet. I have laugh at the ads when they guilt trip us to to buying gourmet cat food, when as long as something as fur or feather they will eat it it all feet and tail included.
We are on to wet winter bedding, all my sheets and inside my bed are covered in muddy paw prints.
 
honetpot said:
I would like their metabolism. I have three, they have two 400g tins of cat food a day, plus umlimited dry snacks, and still manage to eat at least one mouse a day each, the only scene of crime evidence is the odd bit of gut on the carpet. I have laugh at the ads when they guilt trip us to to buying gourmet cat food, when as long as something as fur or feather they will eat it it all feet and tail included.
We are on to wet winter bedding, all my sheets and inside my bed are covered in muddy paw prints.
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M is so fussy and get I've seen him polish off a mouse carcass he left on the patio 3 days prior 🤢
 
honetpot said:
I would like their metabolism. I have three, they have two 400g tins of cat food a day, plus umlimited dry snacks, and still manage to eat at least one mouse a day each, the only scene of crime evidence is the odd bit of gut on the carpet. I have laugh at the ads when they guilt trip us to to buying gourmet cat food, when as long as something as fur or feather they will eat it it all feet and tail included.
We are on to wet winter bedding, all my sheets and inside my bed are covered in muddy paw prints.
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Ah the paw prints! The kitten likes to bring small leaves and mud upstairs and get into bed with me first thing, so that when he goes I'm left wriggling around in a gritty mess. They also have a mouse each from the freezer every day to satisfy their beastly desires and no earthly need to go bringing down wildebeest and dragging them through the catflap!
 
Cloball said:
M dropped a hulking great rat on my newly hoovered carpet without my husband noticing for me to come back to after spending all day cleaning and tidying for guests. I was just saying on another thread he only gets rat babies... This was not.
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At least rats are relatively quick to clear up after... usually!!
 
Rumtytum said:
I dread to think how long it took to clear up 🙈 there is absolutely no hiding place for wayward feathers on that carpet!
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I'm going to have to admit I haven't cleared it up, I made a cake instead 🤣 thank God that carpet is not long for this world and there will lovely new tiles there soon - I've been waiting a decade for the new kitchen so I hope they don't smear bloody pigeons all over it (what am I saying?!!)
 
Burnttoast said:
I'm going to have to admit I haven't cleared it up, I made a cake instead 🤣 thank God that carpet is not long for this world and there will lovely new tiles there soon - I've been waiting a decade for the new kitchen so I hope they don't smear bloody pigeons all over it (what am I saying?!!)
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If it’s not pigeons I’m sure they will find something appropriate 🤣
 
One of my cats dropped a mouse on my foot, half alive, while I was mid-way through a job interview on MS Teams.
Needless to say, I didn't get the job. I don't think my jumping up and screaming blue murder helped my chances.

Said cat is now buried at the bottom of my garden.

She died of natural causes a few years later, I might add. 😂
 
Mine left up onto my desk yesterday sending my papers and laptop flying as I had the audacity to not feed him 10 mins early. I was mid dictation of a report when I shrieked wildly. I left it in, my secretary is also a cat owner and I think she will appreciate the sound effects. I have warned her though so she can turn the volume down.
 
Cloball said:
Mine left up onto my desk yesterday sending my papers and laptop flying as I had the audacity to not feed him 10 mins early. I was mid dictation of a report when I shrieked wildly. I left it in, my secretary is also a cat owner and I think she will appreciate the sound effects. I have warned her though so she can turn the volume down.
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The devil in me would not have let on to my secretary. 😂
 
Cloball said:
Mine left up onto my desk yesterday sending my papers and laptop flying as I had the audacity to not feed him 10 mins early. I was mid dictation of a report when I shrieked wildly. I left it in, my secretary is also a cat owner and I think she will appreciate the sound effects. I have warned her though so she can turn the volume down.
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We were down at our house in the South West, working remotely, OH in the bedroom at the end of the house, me in the living room. She was on a zoom meeting when a dormouse leapt up onto the desk and ran behind her laptop screen. Or laptop scream, as it became.
 
Britestar said:
Just went to have a bit of toast, heard a strange noise, followed by the most god awful smell .

Elderly cat has peed in the toaster! 🤢🤢

No toast for me, heap of air freshener, and have to buy a new toaster now 😆
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That's certainly niche! My poor stressed Little Nobhead has taken to dragging out my clothing and peeing on that if he wants to go out and I ignore him (he's supposed to still be in one room, but we've had to expand on that to run of the house overnight, to reduce pee incidents, as we've had three or four in the past week!).
 
Puked up her biscuits all over the cushion OH had put down to stop her digging up the carpet. After he'd already put a wash on that said cushion cover could have gone into 😂

Apparently the sick hit only the cushion not the floor. She then tried to sweep at the cushion, alerting him to what had happened

She's very dismissive of OH as he doesn't worship her like I do so was obviously telling him exactly what she thought of him and his attempts to stop her working the floor
 
OldNag said:
This evening, "beloved" cat helped herself to the freshly made super-creamy and super-delicious (had a lot of double cream to use up) rice pudding I had left to cool.... daughter caught her in the act. Rice pud now in the bin.
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I've caught our resident nobhead helping himself to four dishes in the past week alone - turkey and ham pie, left over potatoes and veg, Christmas pudding (we made two!) and cake. We do shut the kitchen door, but he's so bloody quick! We often don't even realise he's in there and shut him in every so often. He even tried a mid-meal raid when we're eating and gets terribly offended when he gets smacked on the nose. I'm not a fan of hitting animals, but this is the only thing that stops him. I'm starting to think he's diabetic or something - his need to eat is so constant!!
 
The furry nobheads excelled themselves last night. We were late home/to bed following a farewell drink with a friend returning to NZ. Cats tried to say they hadn't been fed. We disagreed and went to bed. As it's been cold, we hadn't been shutting the door as they'd just popped out for the odd wee/poo, which was fine by us.

Until last night.

I *think* it was about 1.30 am when I first heard growling, Big Nobhead's signature for 'I've got a mouse/vole/rabbit/squirrel/bird/rat...'

Cue much chasing of the shit around the bedroom and then house. Couldn't get to him but it looked dead and hadn't been running around, so I left him, as whilst he's playing with that, he's not terrorising anything else.

Until about 2.30. Suddenly a tiny squeak. Feck. This time I managed to get the mouse and although it looked like it was about to expire, I gave it the benefit of the doubt and put it in a shoe box with a cheesy biscuit and water in case it recovered.

All good for about 30 minutes, at which point Teeny Tiny Nobhead brought in a dead vole. Out of bed again and tossed vole in undignified manner out of bedroom window.

By now I'm wound up, partly due to felines, partly due to the gentle snores of partner. Git.

We get to about 3.30 before Big Nobhead brings in another live mouse. I'm back on form and capture this one quickly in my hands. Out it goes into a nearby bush.

I'm genuinely not sure if I dreamt another live one coming in, so we may have fun and games this evening. I know I was still awake at 5.35. Meanwhile I was so dog tired this morning I forgot to take my morning cuppa to the yard. Survived meetings and checked on box mouse to find it a little more alert, but still looking shocked, so decided to leave it until this evening. Went out to run an errand. Got back to find box moved and the slate on the lid dislodged. Feck. Heard growl from bedroom. After a couple of 'I'm going to effin kill you!' threats, he lost it and I captured it. Mouse by now was quite alert, so I released the poor bugger into our wood yard.

Two nobheads free to any home. Meanwhile, we most definitely are shutting the flap this evening. Jerry is still a good boy.
 
Since his accident and the cold weather M has become a house cat... To the benefit of my anxiety and sleep. He has however helped himself to some spring greens for some reason. Also on Sunday morning as we were having our morning coffee in bed he sauntered in threw up on the carpet and then walked out... Just like that .... Gi+
 
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