Would anybody actually be interested in him... Thoughts please...

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ellieplatt

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Well I'm currently debating whether or not to put my beautiful ish TB up for a long term loan, here are my reasons...

1) I don't feel like i've got the experience to bring him on to his full potential. He came out of racing in Jan this year, I bought him in March looking to re-school him to event once i'd finished my GCSE's. He's an extremely easy horse to do in all aspects and very safe, he put weight on going well on the lunge and starting to work really well with oozes of potential in the school - so here's my problem...

2) I don't have the moral support from my mum which is fairly key as its only me and my mum who live together now nor the required finances to keep a horse of his potential i.e money for weekly lessons, no transport for lessons ect.

3) I suffered with a back injury 2 years ago after a fall, which comes up now and again after a long period of riding (i.e like schooling for an hour) which i've had physio for but hasnt seem to have much effect.

Many people would assume that we should of thought about all of these aspects before buying a horse that needs so much time and hard work, but we most certainly did. When we viewed him, me and my mum both fell in love with him, had 3 weeks to decide whether we really liked him enough to buy him and we did. She seemed very supportive and willing to get a trailer for the car to go to lessons, come and watch me ride, help with turning out and bringing in if I was busy with studying or exams. Money isn't really an issue if it was I would of never been allowed ponies when I was little or the horses i've had over the past. If I had total support from my mum I would set aside the thought I did not have the experience as regular lessons would help, having schooling sessions videod so I could watch back and see what I could work on.
My mum is a privet teacher so genuinely has afternoons and evenings free to watch me ride ect, so she has as much time as I do (i'm home tutored). I've tried talking to her in the past about this an that it isn't fair on such a talented horse but she insists I keep him.

The thought of selling him would break my heart, so i'd only ever loan him out to an experienced home with bringing horses on and eventing. I probably wouldn't be able to cope with the amount of riding to keep an event horse fit due to my back. I'm only trying to do what's best for my horse. So, what does everybody think?

- Back to the question anyway, Would anybody actually be interested in loaning a horse that still needs work, to possibly event in a years time?
I have no interest in scr*wing anyone over so they do all the hard work, I just want to find a nice home for him for a few years so he can have the support he needs. Like I said I just wish I had the support from my mum or else I would bugger my back and have as many lessons as I could to get him to the best of his ability. (Also I have a part time waitressing job so contribute all my wages to him).

Thankyou to everybody who has read, Milk and home made flapjacks for everyone whose kind enough to reply!
 
To be honest, not many people would want to put a year's work in to a horse that they did not own,
A professional eventer has owners who pay the bills and provide the horses.
Not that many horses are really top class, and even if it has loads of potential, what would you do for an interest, if it were me, I would think about going to local shows and things, get some instruction and plan a little campaign of your own.
One thing to mention is that horses can and do get injured, so you could do all the best things and end up getting the horse sent back to you, and I think you would feel pretty sick/annoyed.
I pay my instructor to ride my horse, it is so much faster to progress, and I work away with him afterwards on her advice, you could do this, so you would not strain your back, also have you tried swimming, build up to a mile, this helps back muscles a lot.
 
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I personally would sell him. People think its kinder not selling the horse on, but its often passed from pillar to post through various homes, sometimes coming back to the original owner for a few weeks inbetween... I always think it must be confusing and a bit upsetting for the horse. Also I think that people work at problems more if they own the horse.

Anyway, back to the question, yes you would probably find someone to loan him. To find someone who has an eventing background and experience to bring him on to loan him is a much more difficult thing.

I'm sorry for the way that things are going for you at the moment. Hope it gets better. Do you really have to get rid of him? If its only a matter of you not bringing him on as much as you wanted, theres no rush - he will be happy as a happy hacker you know.
 
I bought a 4 year old tb mare when I was 16. Well my mum did. She watched me ride about 4 times in nearly 4 years. I had GCSE's a weekend job and this little mare.
I think I did quite a good job on her. I had financial support from my parents but that was it. They complained about how much time it took up, didn't understand it doesn't take half an hour to do a horse in the winter when you need to muck out, ride etc. They made life very difficult but I managed it.

1) There must be an instructor that will come out to you for lessons. I live in the middle of nowhere but I know 2 instructors that will come out, 1 of which I use.

2) I think you need to sit down with your mother and tell her everything you are feeling. About how you want more moral support, and if she wants you to keep the horse then you need that support from her!

3) I also have a bit of a twingey back (curse of the horse rider!) but I just know when to stop and I think thats the main thing. Knowing when your not having a good day, so just lunge instead of ride. Or give him a day off.

4) Yes you probibily will find someone to loan him, but you risk having him back anyway, and I always think that if you loan a horse out and you get it back, its not quite the same. Much more satisfying if you have put the work in to make him what he is!

If your mum won't come around I would sell him. Sounds hard but true as Honey08 said, it can be quite upsetting for the horse to go back to the owner for 3 weeks to then go back out on loan!
 
I would not rule out selling him to the right person. Why don't you put him out on loan and state that there MAY be a possibility that you would sell him in the future. Make sure the price is agreed and written into the contract before hand.

Would anyone be interested? Yes! However, if you limit the possible homes only to those people who want to event or compete, then the chances of getting a loan home are very slim. People want to improve their own horses, not other people's, unless there is an agreement to sell for a predetermined price at a later date.

Do not rule out finding a loan home that is not a competition home. The most important thing is that your boy will be loved and well cared for. I would have snapped him up a couple of years ago when my mare became injured so badly she had to be retired as I did not have loss of use and therefore not the lump sum to buy another horse. But I had excellent facilities and would have provided a fabulous, loving and experienced home for him. I do not compete any more, but do retrain thoroughbreds so that they can go on to compete at a reasonable level. I did take on a loan horse that was signed over to me in the end because he required expensive treatment and has bone spavin. Unfortunately, it has ended up costing me more for his various ailments than it would have done if I'd gone out and bought a new horse! Bless him. :rolleyes:
 
Hi, I think turning him out to grass whilst you get your head down and study through your exams is possibly the best thing you can do. Then when the GCSE's are over, then you can concentrate on whats going to happen.

Personally i wouldnt take on a loan, do the hard work and then hand him back after a year, thats me - perhaps there are some other people that would.
 
Thank you all very much for taking the time to reply, am going to take everything in and have a good think about what to do,

Damnation - Suppose I'm in the exactly same position as you were apart from my mum doesn't ride. Would love to know how you managed with exams, job, horse ect!

I really really don't want to have to loan or sell him, have grown so close and good friends with him would be horrible, my best friend who took me from ponies to horses and taught me everything was sadly PTS last year, so couldn't handle him going too, even though he'd still be here.

But you are right him being out on loan means he could be injured and bought back to me, or for any reason the rider not wanting him anymore and it isn't fair on him for this to happen. He's had a hard racing life and deserves a life long home.

But thank you all for your input, its made me really think twice about what I want, I think the best thing to do would be to talk to my mum, find a good instructor that will come out to me and possibly she could ride for the first half hour, me the next, or work something out.

MrsD123 - Will certainly try swimming a few times a week to help my back.

Hopefully just by having fun with him things will work out eventually.
 
I hope I can put my two penneth in too. I found myself in a similar situation with a young horse that had oodles of potential. The sort of horse that people just went "Wow" to. I was on my own and had lost my job...despite trying to find anything I was not successful,so decided that I would put her out on loan as a green youngster. Had lots of interest - but on reflection now, not one of the people were up to the job. My horse was not as well behaved as yours. I found a home with a nice lady who assured me she had lots of experience with horses just backed... and three weeks in she was back with me...but then with lots of bad behaviour to sort out! Stuff that had not been there before. I resolved not to loan her, but to get a share. A young lady expressed an interest - but then said she wanted to take her on loan even though my horse was sharp and green. I let her go on the proviso that she had an experienced instructor and yard owner who would keep an eye on things and help the young lady.
Cutting a long story short, 6 months in - I have the horse back - broken for good... She now weaves, had a fractured leg, damaged tendons and back and pelvis out. Scarred legs - and no vet was called for any of it, till I took her away.
So I would beg you not to do it... I would probably never do it again - unless I found someone I really knew and trusted. I would rather have turned this horse out and her live a very unproductive but healthy life as a horse. Horses not reaching their potential is not important, I would now rather she were still well and healthy and happy. It is probably the biggest regret I have in my life.
I think that selling may be better if you can a good home!
 
I think you need to have a really good chat with your mum, as I think if you sell the pony and don't fully understand why she isn't giving you support, it it the kind of thing that affects a mum/daughter relationship for many years.

Rather than accusing her of being unsupportive (which it sounds as if she is being), ask her other questions to try and get to the nub of her dreams and motivations, such as

-What kind of life would she ideally like?
-Is the horse harder work/more commitment that she had originally anticipated
-Does the horse affect her overall life more than anticipated
-Is she scared the horse might hurt you/is too much for you
-Is it more expensive than you originally thought.
-Is she worried it will affect your schooling and therefore academic prospects
-Does she think the money/commitment of the horse will stop her & your holiday opportunities, etc

I think ideally you need to come to an agreement with your mum, that if she gives you 12 months support (try and actually quantify what that means, ie 2 lessons a month, 1 videing session a week, 1 putting jumps up session a week, 1 mucking out session a week) then you will definitely sell the horse after that period if that is what she would like. I would suggest that if you come to such an agreement that you write it down and both sign it - it does help!

I just suspect that your mum has her own dreams/ambitions and she maybe can't reconcile them with the realities of horse ownership, and if you understand what they are then you can try and find solutions, or at least understand why you are selling/loaning your horse.

PS There is nothing wrong with turning the horse away from January to March, if that would make everyone's life easier?
 
I am also not really clear about what you mean on the moral support? does your mother resent the time spent with the horse? do you feel you don't have enough experience to bring him on? would you be happier with a horse that had progressed further? are you a member of say, the local riding club so you can get out to meet other riders and socialise. Also, where are you?

In the first instance, I would think very carefully as to what you want out of your mum and then talk to her to see what she wants/thinks is the situation. Then I would think again.
 
There are good loan homes my last boy was in a excellent home she ended up buying him :) I really miss having horses but don't really have the funds to buy outright and all the equipment that goes with the horse as all mine as been sold or went with horse, I only have a saddle and a pair of clippers left I could use them on the baby's rocking horse I suppose : D
A loan would prob be ideal for me as I can afford the stable etc and vets insurance. I have always had young quirky horses but they were mine so all the hard work tears and sweat were worth it, I would worry that a horse so green would be taken back after it was schooled to a decent level that would really concern me and prob that's why I've never thought of loaning and just remain horseless.
ETA my last horse went to his loan home quite green so I know it can work just my opinion on it and how I would feel
 
speedycivic said:
I hope I can put my two penneth in too. I found myself in a similar situation with a young horse that had oodles of potential. The sort of horse that people just went "Wow" to. I was on my own and had lost my job...despite trying to find anything I was not successful,so decided that I would put her out on loan as a green youngster. Had lots of interest - but on reflection now, not one of the people were up to the job. My horse was not as well behaved as yours. I found a home with a nice lady who assured me she had lots of experience with horses just backed... and three weeks in she was back with me...but then with lots of bad behaviour to sort out! Stuff that had not been there before. I resolved not to loan her, but to get a share. A young lady expressed an interest - but then said she wanted to take her on loan even though my horse was sharp and green. I let her go on the proviso that she had an experienced instructor and yard owner who would keep an eye on things and help the young lady.
Cutting a long story short, 6 months in - I have the horse back - broken for good... She now weaves, had a fractured leg, damaged tendons and back and pelvis out. Scarred legs - and no vet was called for any of it, till I took her away.
So I would beg you not to do it... I would probably never do it again - unless I found someone I really knew and trusted. I would rather have turned this horse out and her live a very unproductive but healthy life as a horse. Horses not reaching their potential is not important, I would now rather she were still well and healthy and happy. It is probably the biggest regret I have in my life.
I think that selling may be better if you can a good home!
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OH my! How can somebody think their a good loaner/horse person by breaking a perfectly good horse... Does worry me what goes through some peoples minds! Totally put me off loaning a horse out.. ever! I hope your horse gets better and wish you the best with her. Thank you for sharing it as really does put you off!
 
canteron said:
I think you need to have a really good chat with your mum, as I think if you sell the pony and don't fully understand why she isn't giving you support, it it the kind of thing that affects a mum/daughter relationship for many years.

Rather than accusing her of being unsupportive (which it sounds as if she is being), ask her other questions to try and get to the nub of her dreams and motivations, such as

-What kind of life would she ideally like?
-Is the horse harder work/more commitment that she had originally anticipated
-Does the horse affect her overall life more than anticipated
-Is she scared the horse might hurt you/is too much for you
-Is it more expensive than you originally thought.
-Is she worried it will affect your schooling and therefore academic prospects
-Does she think the money/commitment of the horse will stop her & your holiday opportunities, etc

I think ideally you need to come to an agreement with your mum, that if she gives you 12 months support (try and actually quantify what that means, ie 2 lessons a month, 1 videing session a week, 1 putting jumps up session a week, 1 mucking out session a week) then you will definitely sell the horse after that period if that is what she would like. I would suggest that if you come to such an agreement that you write it down and both sign it - it does help!

I just suspect that your mum has her own dreams/ambitions and she maybe can't reconcile them with the realities of horse ownership, and if you understand what they are then you can try and find solutions, or at least understand why you are selling/loaning your horse.

PS There is nothing wrong with turning the horse away from January to March, if that would make everyone's life easier?
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One of the best answers yet, never thought of asking her these questions, i'm sure if we did we could work something out, even if she came with me on a weekend afternoon to film or watch me schooling would be enough, just alittle imput into my hobby.
He's currently been out since May as we've been back and forth from our home in france, but when i've been back have been hacking out and lunging him, schooling when I can. I think he enjoys all of the freedom!
Thank you, am going to ask some of these to get some more understanding :)
 
Luci07 said:
I am also not really clear about what you mean on the moral support? does your mother resent the time spent with the horse? do you feel you don't have enough experience to bring him on? would you be happier with a horse that had progressed further? are you a member of say, the local riding club so you can get out to meet other riders and socialise. Also, where are you?

In the first instance, I would think very carefully as to what you want out of your mum and then talk to her to see what she wants/thinks is the situation. Then I would think again.
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Basicly I couldn't care less if she paid to take me here there and everywhere with him, all i mean is for her to come and watch, take some pictures, walk the dog out on a hack with me, watch me lunge anything like that 1/2 a week, as alot of the time I'm up the yard when no-one else is around so some opinion on how he is going is what i;d like. She's happy to come and say hello in the field but nothing else. It's also things like her forgetting to contact the vet about vaccs he needs ect that makes me think that I shouldn't have a horse, or asking her to take his rug off on way to work (she drives past is paddock). I mean its not hard...

I feel that i don't really have the amount of knowledge or experience, but if i was having regular lessons I could easily have the confidence to do this and learn and do a very good job with him. I believe that on my own, i dont have enough experience to do that. Yes I think that if i had bought another school master or even shared 2/3 times a week and had lessons on one, instead of something that needed so much work, first to learn alittle more off, I would have more confidence in myself in having a project on my hands. Not a member of a riding club, as we don't have regular transport facilities at the moment but there is a local riding club which I could join. I'm based in wilts/hants area.
 
ellieplatt said:
Damnation - Suppose I'm in the exactly same position as you were apart from my mum doesn't ride. Would love to know how you managed with exams, job, horse ect!
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My mother didn't ride, hasn't ridden since she was 11 and had no interest in my horse whatsoever, wouldn't even pay for lessons for about a year after I got her :o

I will be honest I was shattered, and I was lucky to get any GCSE's, but it can be done :)
 
Damnation said:
My mother didn't ride, hasn't ridden since she was 11 and had no interest in my horse whatsoever, wouldn't even pay for lessons for about a year after I got her :o

I will be honest I was shattered, and I was lucky to get any GCSE's, but it can be done :)
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Ooops sorry! Thought you said your mum brang on the horse :P,
 
If you like the horse and have the time, don't worry about whether he achieves his potential. Just do what you can with him with the time and resources you have. Enjoy him. Who knows what is down the track but now you have some opportunity, even if with some limits.

I think there is never an ideal opportunity, always some restictions, for me time at the moment, my parents have never shown any interest in horses, nor my OH. Whatever I want to do with them, I have had to do on my own.

Yes lessons make things a heck of a lot easier, but I can barely afford lessons for me or my 3 kids after paying for everything else. My OH can afford it but he is tight as anything. My kids ride well, and enjoy themselves, and we squeeze in lessons when we can.
 
I was having a flick through the local loan ads just yesterday and came across a stunning 3 yr old show hunter - had been sucessful in hand and seemed a pleaseure to do - Owner doesn't have the time to break ! Now why would anyone in their right mind a) send a fantastic young horse to someone else to ruin or b) take on something that need so much time and money investing in it only for it to be taken away once ridable and maybe sold for 2k more than it had been worth as a 3 yr old ?

Honestly sell him - he sounds lovely, you've clearly done enough work with him to set him on the right path and make someone very happy.
 
Ok well there are lots of green horses out there for loan so he would have to stick out to a potential loaner and you will struggle to find a rider who would make the most of his potential. Several of them will be after a first horse too.

Could you not go down at times when there will be people at the yard so you can ask them for support? or if you can afford it have a lesson once a fortnight and ask your mum to come watch and video it so you can watch it back. Another thing you say you are struggling to get your gcse work done if you are going on to a levels then it will become considerably harder so you need to consider the future and possibly think about bringing him on slowly while you get your education sorted then working on him in the summer after exams.
Sorry if this comes across as harsh but he won't mind just doing what he's doing for now he dosent realise he has lots of potential. Oh and I'm the only one in my family thats horsey so your not alone and my parents see my horse about once a month, it is possible to bring him on on your own but yes it may be slower but as I said if you have educational commitments then this might be a good solution for you all.
 
Sorry but why if youa re riding this horse do you need someone to come and watch you? Why not get a job and then finance your riding lessons that way?
I don't get why your mother not being interested is at all relevant unless she is stopping you riding the horse?
 
As for wanting her to take the rug off etc-he is your horse so you do the work, stop being a spoilt brat, I'm assuming you are 16+ agre wisE?
 
SusieT said:
As for wanting her to take the rug off etc-he is your horse so you do the work, stop being a spoilt brat, I'm assuming you are 16+ agre wisE?
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I would have thought she was under 16 if she is about to do GCSE's. She said she has a job and half the problem is lacking time so not sure how another job would help.
 
SusieT said:
As for wanting her to take the rug off etc-he is your horse so you do the work, stop being a spoilt brat, I'm assuming you are 16+ agre wisE?
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A bit harsh there. I'm 19, at uni, both me and my boyfriend have full time jobs and I sometimes do not have time to go down and take my boy's rugs off, but I have people around me willing to.
 
Sounds like a difficult decision. Think long and hard about it, make lists, think of pros and cons of each option. You will be able to make the right decision; what's best for you and your horse.
 
I'm with susiet. Not sure what the problem is? I had green horses as a teenager, non horsey parents. They would help out on occasion and paid half the costs but the rest was up to me. I was grateful for that much!!

Get a job to pay for some lessons, or ask a friend to video you. Or sell him. A green ex racer will be hard to loan. But don't feel so hard done by - you're luckier than many!
 
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