Would getting a third horse help with a bonded pair? Need advice

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Anna2015

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I have a bomb proof TB mare or should I say had. Moved her to her own field then get a 3 year old filly as a companion. Since the companion came I haven't been able to ride mine out. The field is on a very busy main road that is 60mph. The other day I rode out and the filly started screaming and running in the field which made my mare spook. I didn't feel confident on her what so ever so decided to turn her back towards the field. In the middle of a turn and she stopped with her bum facing the main road. I was moving her on when she decided to back up into the main road. No matter how hard I tried she kept backing up in the end I had to jump off. By now I am in the middle of the road and cars both sides stopped. I was trying to the lead her forward and she wouldn't. Luckily my partner was at the field and ran over to help me.

I was scared to death and now to be honest I feel as if I don't want to take her out again because of that road. Luckily it was rush hour so as there was so many cars it slowed the traffic down which gave them time to see me.

Yesterday we went back up to walk her out of the field by hand to properly inspect her incase she has a bad leg, tack wasn't well fitted.. My partner walked her and she was good as gold. I was watching the filly. The filly was running up and down but then as soon as the filly started screaming out and doing this bunny hop/bucking thing in the field then my mare started playing up. Shaking her head trying to turn back to the field.

I haven't got stables and there isn't anyway of leaving the field without being by this main road for a good 10 mintues. I cannot lead the filly as she is so spooky I wouldn't control both horses if played up on this road. The only thing I can think is get another horse but what if my filly still wants my mare and doesn't bond to the new horse?
 
Could you get someone looking for grass livery for a little companion type ? Then you have a 'third' friend who is there for both of them rather than you having to buy one.

The filly may always be obsessive towards your other one , but surely a pal in the field should help reduce the displays when left alone.
 
I have this problem and its really unsettling, I always hack my boy out and the companion gets left behind, he starts calling the minute I tie Jester to the gate to tack up even though they are still in sight of each other.
Jester is more spooky to hack alone but I was working through it, he has recently started calling out to the companion when we are heading out which really unsettles me, I haven't managed a total hack on my own for a while now as i'm so scared he will turn and bolt off home with me! I usually hack a little way down the road to meet my hacking buddy! companion doesn't do anything silly he literally just stands and calls until we come back, where as if I take companion out for a walk Jester spends the whole time calling and running up and down getting himself into a state even though we are never gone for long.
my sister kept her mini Shetland with my boys last year and it made no difference, the two that were left behind still called constantly for the one who was taken out.
sometimes I think it would be easier at a livery yard! (I also have a plant and walk backwards pony)
 
3 is OK, as long as you never want to take 2 away at the same time!! Then you need 4!

I'm another that found this aspect easier at livery. My older mare was always totally independent & self sufficient until she had to go on box rest. Now I can't leave her on her own, though she is happy to go out on her own and leave the others :)

If I have to leave her on her own, she has to be shut into her box with a full grill over the top door and everything but the water bucket removed :/
My cob just runs around shouting a bit if she is left on her own. She is usually settled by the time we return.

So I'd agree, something that was going to be in the field permanently like a retired horse looking for grass keep might be suitable. Someone will probably come along and say they will have to get used to being separated, which is true, but you need to find a way to manage them safely first.

You might need to rethink when you come to back your filly, unless the third horse is totally happy to be left (assuming you'd want to take filly and mare out together).
 
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It's such a nightmare. I used to dream of having my own field and not sharing. Now I finally have it, I have this problem. I do plan on backing the pony in the future and taking her out so then yeah I would need a companion for the 3rd companion!! Trimming, teeth and injections, hay and feed for three companions is expensive to ride my horse out a few times a week. No wonder people warned me it's an expensive hobby!

I cannot rent out as grass livery as the owner didn't want multipul renters as they had problems and arguments in the past. Plus I have to watch how many horses as it is only close to 3 acres.

Surly there is something else I could do?
 
Sorry to disappoint but I don't think a 3rd will help.

I have 3 kept on private land - 2 of which (the smaller ones) have been together since birth so very attached! I can take the big boy out alone and he is fine, so are the little ones. However if I take one of the little ones away, it doesn't matter which one, both that are left get upset!! It is manageable, mainly because I don't take the little ones out very often as they are unridden.

I think your main problem is actually the one you are riding and the busy road. It is not ideal for any horse, let alone something nappy. I think even if you get a third, something will whinny and your ridden horse will just get upset again. I know how it feels to be in the middle of a fast road with a idiot pony! Not very nice at all.
 
I've got two horses who are bonded pair-bonds. But each of them will hack out alone without worrying after the other one.

What I do, if I'm planning on riding one, is to take them both in from the field together and put both in the stable. They can't see each other from their respective stables but they do know the other horse is there as they back on to each other.

This works for me with my two.

Just a warning about disturbing your herd balance. About 18 months ago I let a friend put her rather rude youngster in with my traddie and Welsh D mare, the idea being that mare would teach him a few manners which he lacked - something which she's very good at doing!! It was OK for the first 10 days or so, then the herd balance changed - and my traddie boy was standing on his own increasingly, and looking unhappy. The youngster had learnt a lot of tactics from the mare, and was using them on my poor old traddie boy. When I took trad out for a hack, he suddenly became very clingy and started napping, something he hadn't done for a very long time. It was obvious that something wasn't right with the herd dynamic. So we took the youngster out - and within a day everything had settled back to normal again, and a great relief it was too!

I'd be inclined to work at building confidence with your ridden horse rather than adding to your herd, e.g. groundwork, doing stuff alone/solo with you on the ground, leading around the yard, all away from the other horse, gaining respect, then progressing on to ridden work. I wouldn't try riding out on the busy road again until you are sure that your horse is looking to YOU and not the other horse, as his herd leader whilst in ridden work. I would recommend a good, sensitive professional who is accustomed to dealing with issues like this also as you may benefit from some input and support in this situation.

But I wouldn't interfere with your existing herd dynamic. Basically if its not broke, don't fix it.
 
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Buying a stable mirror saved my old boy from hurting himself before I got a third. I can leave big fella on his own and he couldn't care less as long as there is grass but the old boy turns into a self harming Looney if left alone. I put a stable mirror up in stable for him and left radio on. He did call first few times so I waited a few mins for him to calm down before we actually left the yard. Now I have three and if I only take one out its fine. If two go out one goes in the stable with radio on. Works a treat.
 
I had/have this problem. Instead of having to take two out together, I now have to take three! My very old (37) horse has a grade 5 heart murmur and he is not allowed to get upset, so all three have to go out as he won't let us take his mare away. So now we have to still take him and the new one!
 
I don't necessarily think another will help short term - you are still going to have to put a bit of work into showing them that it is alright to be by themselves.

I have three and I have had to train them to be by themselves, little by little, you are basically desensitising them to anxiety. Its not nice, so I totally sympathise, especially as your field is by a main road.

Get someone to hold the filly, long lunge line, in the field as you ride out. You are going to need to be firm and be prepared to battle it out a bit before you will see an improvement.

Let us know how it goes :)
 
Could you make a small electric fencing pen for the filly when she is left behind and give her something really tasty to eat, so that she concentrates on that as you go? I would also ask someone to walk with you with loads of hi-viz until you get away from the traffic.
 
I have had three and one still screamed for the other despite being with the new one. Some horses just click and want to be together.
 
I have two horses who are pair bonded but I can ride either one out, have either in the stable alone and they will both go in the field alone. I realise how lucky I am and am thinking of getting a third horse but really worry that it will upset things.

My friend has just introduced a third horse and it has helped with the other two. Although both retired, one would not be in the stable or in the field on her own - she is a bit neurotic. The third horse does seem to have changed things quite a lot.
 
You need to weaken the pair bond. I discovered how to do this accidentally!

One of mine is a Sect A and prone to piling on the pounds and needs restricted feed. The other is in medium work and except during spring flush can graze unrestricted. So podgy pony goes into bald paddock during day then is let out with horse over night. As time goes by on their summer routine you can notice the pair bond weaken and they become less reactive when left alone. The beauty of it is that as the areas are side by side they an choose to be as close or as far away from each other as they like but to get the tasty grass one must wander away of their own free will. As they are in separate but adjacent areas they cannot wander around together as a 'pair' but neither are they being 'separated' As nothing is forced the process is gradual and stress free. They go out together over night so have plenty of time to mutual groom etc. These days the biggest reaction I ever get when I take one out is a single whinny from the one left behind, no running round the field just straight back to grazing.

If I were you I would invest in electric fencing and split your field in two, lengthways firstly. During the day put one in each half, turn both out together overnight. As time progresses you should (hopefully!) see them gradually spending less time stuck to the fence next to each other and more time away grazing.

Once you feel sufficient progress has been made split the field width ways which will have the effect of encouraging even greater distance from each other. This may be sufficient to break the bond enough that there is less panic when one or the other leaves. If not you can extend the idea by making a small paddock at one end putting the more confident horse in there and the less confident horse in the field where over time it will wander away and teach itself independence.

The next progression would then be to take the less confident one out of the field for a short time gradually building time away up. Then start taking the confident one away.

It sounds very long winded and a bit of a hassle and it is! But there are no quick fixes I know of and anything you do that increases their anxiety will set the process back. On the bright side electric fencing costs a lot less to feed/shoe/care for than pony number 3 does! And the horses teach themselves during the day with no input from you. It just takes time....

ETA - It also helps greatly if there are other horses within sight even a couple of fields away
 
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Yes having a third worked well for me when it came to separation anxiety. It didn't work for the one hacked though, a firm hand did and positive reinforcement .... but it helped the ones left in the field.
 
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