would it be wrong to ask for cost towards shoes?

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showpony

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Bit of an awkward question. Girl I know has been helping me with my mare past few mths. I had a blip in confidence jumping and was out for couple of weeks due to a non horse related injury... Now firmly back in the saddle but girl is using my mare in her weekly lesson ( which is discounted as livery lesson) and also rides her one other day a week and has had opportunity to take her hunting, show jumping etc... She adores her and would like her to continue riding her as wouldn't want to stop her riding her. However would like to possibly ask her to contribute to her shoes? Is that unreasonable?
 
No course that's not unreasonable, she is essentially getting a free loan so a bit if money towards shoes is. to taking the pee! :)
 
I don't think it unreasonable but if she finds it hard to contribute would you prefer her to continue to exercise her or not if it comes down to money, it may be that you benefit in the long run as much as she does, so put it to her and have a clear idea of what you will say if the answer is she cannot afford to pay, that way you will not be in such a difficult situation and can backtrack if you want to.
 
I've not asked for a penny. But feel half costs towards shoes isn't unreasonable
be positive said:
I don't think it unreasonable but if she finds it hard to contribute would you prefer her to continue to exercise her or not if it comes down to money, it may be that you benefit in the long run as much as she does, so put it to her and have a clear idea of what you will say if the answer is she cannot afford to pay, that way you will not be in such a difficult situation and can backtrack if you want to.
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So, the girl was initially helping you out but, now you're back from confidence issues/injury you'd like her to contribute financially (to shoes)? That doesn't sound unreasonable but I can see making the transition could be a little socially awkward.

So, as above really... ask yourself
If the girl wasn't around would you want/need someone else to ride?
If you did would you expect them to pay towards shoes/be paid to exercise your horse?
Is the girl benefiting you/your horse?
If she says 'no' to paying do you want her to stop riding or would you prefer she carries on without paying?
 
Being honest, confidence is a valuable condition and i reckon you owe her in some way. If it was me i couldnt ask someone who has helped me and who i am emotionally indebted to...however, I would not be able to let her continue her riding my horse, unless your horses behaviour was improving and you could argue that a lesson for her is a lesson foryour horse. You would have to pay for shoes regardless of her involvement...but, thats just me. Good luck and i hope if you choose to ask for contribution, its not awkward.x
 
TBH unless I really needed the money I would not ask for it, you are obviously happy with her riding and handling the horse, she also helped you out and would possibly be there to the same again in the future. I don'tthink asking is wrong I just think one good turn deserves another where possible
 
I don't think it is unreasonable, but I agree that if you don't need the money don't ask. Just bare in mind that at the moment you have someone riding your horse that you trust, has helped with your confidence, your mare likes, is responsible, not always easy to find.

It would be a bit different if she was out hunting twice a week and you were going through shoes every few weeks, then I might ask for a contribution until the end of the season, but the other disciplines will not have an effect on shoe wear.
 
Depends, is she doing you a favor by riding the horse and schooling it?
I've been riding another horse on the yard on occasions, she was struggling to keep it fit and I rode it a few times while mine was off. I will probably take him for a few hacks while she is on holiday. I enjoy riding him but certainly wouldn't bother if she wanted me to contribute.
 
I think it's a hard one .
Because she's helped you out of a spot and has given up her time energy and skill for nothing.
I have a young friend who rides mine he's been coming over a year now he hunts the fresh horses rides out with me when we are doing exciting things I yell at him in the school.
He gets fit horses turned out by pro grooms to hunt ( although he does help do the horses after hunting ) and transported to and from hunting .
The thing is it's a great deal for both of us so it would devalue it to both sides to drag money into it .
I think you do risk insulting her she may feel her input is altruistic .
 
I see it a little differently in that the original situation has now evolved into a different one. She has helped you but she is benefiting by riding for free. Only you can put a price on what she did and is doing for you, and what you have given her in terms of riding, but I do think that the situation may start to irritate you if it carries on, after all you are funding a horse which she can ride, have lessons on and compete. Difficult one. Depends how good she is and if she is improving your horse.
 
Girl is NOT a pro rider! And no she didn't charge for schooling as it was an opportunity to learn heeps herself, I would be stronger on the flatwork side of things..
I would be asking for 30 every 6 wks, basically half the cost of shoes!
Mellis said:
I'm with the two responses above. Did she charge for her re schooling? Joint benefit I feel.
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showpony said:
Girl is NOT a pro rider! And no she didn't charge for schooling as it was an opportunity to learn heeps herself, I would be stronger on the flatwork side of things..
I would be asking for 30 every 6 wks, basically half the cost of shoes!
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I am not a pro rider any more and if I helped a friend with a horse and then got asked to pay ( even if it was fun ) I would be highly insulted .
You do not have to be a "pro " to be expending your time and skill .
 
showpony said:
Girl is NOT a pro rider! And no she didn't charge for schooling as it was an opportunity to learn heeps herself, I would be stronger on the flatwork side of things..
I would be asking for 30 every 6 wks, basically half the cost of shoes!
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Whether she's a pro or not is irrelevant. She helped you out with your horse when you lost your nerve. Your confidence has returned due to her help. I like to keep things all business, even when I'm dealing with friends. So in your case I would have paid her for her time working with your horse but then once you got back on and were riding again I'd probably have made the decision to either continue having her ride the horse for free (as no doubt this continues to help you and your horse) or I'd say thanks very much, don't need you now (but in nicer words).

If you wish to ask for part payment towards shoes, it's your prerogative though.
 
If her riding your horse still does your horse good/keeps it good I probably wouldn't unless finances meant I had to tbh.
 
I think unless you really need the money then I'd say no, dont ask her to contribute - I appreciate she is not a 'pro' rider but presumably she is a decent rider, experienced plus she is having lessons on your horse which benefits both her and the horse - so you are getting something out of this arrangement as well as her.

She has done you a favour by keeping your horse fit whilst you were not able to ride, she has helped with schooling and is continuing to improve the horse with regular lessons. Asking for half of shoes seems a little petty unless you need the money, in which case you'd need to explain to her that you need a more formal 'share' arrangement with a financial contribution, and would very much like her to continue but it would need to be a more formal 'share'. If she turns you down you can advertise for a sharer and ask for a financial contribution up front.

The problem here is that she helped you out for free - I know she's not a pro therefore in your opinion she shouldnt be charging to ride, but in this situation if she had not ridden for you then you probably would have had to pay someone to do it. Therefore she has saved you money and done you a favour, so to be kind to her and to return the favour this could easily carry on without the need for money to change hands. But if you really feel strongly about a financial contribution and need the money then you will have to be honest with her, but be prepared for her to say no and things to get a bit awkward, it was never agreed up front that there would be a charge at any point so its a bit unfair to spring this on her now when she has done a lot of hard work for you.
 
Unless you were wanting to keep the horse in hard work yourself, the girl is probably doing you a favour by exercising your mare in addition to the riding you do, thereby keeping the horse more focused and less likely to play about.
As long as the mare is ridden competently, it's doing no harm and probably a lot of good.

She helped you over a sticky patch and in doing so, became fond of your horse. Therefore, unless you are struggling for money, I wouldn't ask for money. If she offers to pay, then fair enough, that's different.
 
It depends... did you ask her to ride the horse in the first place to help you? Is she doing you a favour? Does she school the horse on? If i was helping someone by schooling their horse on and they asked me to contribute to the horse id be telling them to sod off! People have to pay to have horses schooled! BUT if you are doing her a favour by letting her ride your lovely well schooled horse and she isnt educating it in any way; then i think you could ask for a contribution.

It isnt clear to me in your OP which way round it is?
 
I don't think its unreasonable to ask for a contribution but there is a risk attached, by rocking the boat on an arrangement which has been working well.

I think as soon as money is involved things can turn difficult and because there was no charge agreed up front, she could start thinking how much was the schooling I provided worth etc. Depends on her personality really.

If you value her help and don't need the money then personally I wouldn't upset the arrangement, good helpers are hard to find.
 
It's tricky, either she is helping you out or she's not by continuing to ride your horse? I am out of the saddle due to pregnancy and a good friend offered to ride my horse 1-2 times a week as her horse is hack only and she'd like to start lessons again. I said yes as my horse has bone spavin and needs exercise and enjoys being ridden. Yes she is benefiting from access to my horse but paying for her own lessons. I wouldn't dream of asking for a contribution as she is really helping me out. Once I'm back in the saddle she will be more than welcome to continue riding as it it frees up my time and will help me keep horse fit. She isn't schooling him /improving him but he's getting exercised and kept moving which is important for his well being. So for me she is helping me out and my horses costs have not increased so I wouldn't dream of asking for contribution. If you need financial contribution then perhaps you should formalise things as more of a share. Reliable people aren't easy to come across who will help out FOC when the chips are down, so I'd be inclined to maintain the relationship as it is. If you don't want her riding your horse/riding as much that's a different situation.
 
As this has turned into a share rather than her helping you out then I can't see its wrong to ask.

You both want a long standing arrangement.

So a contribution is usually expected

That being said, its only a very small amount, so why bother?
She helped you out and now helps keep your horse fit and they obviously get on well.
 
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Your request would be more than fair

BUT you will have to be incredibly careful how you approach this if you want the rider to continue and you have to ask yourself whether its worth potentially getting in to an awkward exchange for £5 a week
 
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