Would you be annoyed if...

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MosMum

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...someone questioned you about why you care for your horse(s) the way you do? For instance, asked why you feed the way you do, why you rug or why you choose the brands/makes of equiptment?

The reason I ask is, the horse that is at the yard with my two seems quite a good doer so far (early in the winter I know!), he is gypsy-cob drive and ride type and very friendly and well behaved! I'm not sure how big gypsy types are meant to look but he seems very heavy-set to me (but I do own an arab x) and hairy. Yet he gets ad lib hay, sugarbeet, 2 scoops of cool mix and 1 scoop of chaff a day and has a heavier rug than my arab?

I want to ask his owner about this out of curiosity, not because I think she is doing anything wrong, if anything she is far more knowledgable than I am, as she's owned horses all her life, but her horse ripped his coat two wks ago and I checked him fairly early this am and he was warm to the touch without any rugs, yet she is buying him 2 more?

I know its not my business just curious about this, and we take turns feeding eachother's horses so want to make sure I'm doing right by him :)

Sorry for long post, skittles for whoever got this far.
 
On the face of it, no reason at all for it to cause offence if done in a 'trying to inform myself' type way, esp if you sometimes do each others horses. But, horsey peeps don't always work to the same rules as everyone else and when people are asking about why things are done a certain way when careing for your beloved horse usual rules of logic don't always apply!
Basically, no reason it should cause offence, but it still might!
(assuming no health issues etc, does sound like a fair bit of food and rugs for a type usually known for being hardy good doers though!)
 
Maybe she is rugging him 'cos she doesn't want to clip him? Or is he one who feels the cold, my lad does. I would be very circumspect in asking, she maybe happy to tell you, she may tell you to mind your own business. How would you feel if she questionned you about the way you rug/feed your two?

She probably knows her cob and his idiosyncracies. I wouldn't ask.

FDC
 
Thanks guys...

No offense taken, and to be honest I wouldn't mind if anyone asked me how I do my horse as I'm always looking to learn more, but if I had owned horses all my life as she has I might feel differently! That's why I wondered how others would feel, if they were very experienced and someone asked (politely, as I'm certainly never intentionally rude) why things are done as they are :)
 
I'm not really experienced so I don't quite fall into you exact scenario but I wouldn't ever be offended if someone asked me why I did something a certain way if they just wanted to know for their own knowledge. A lot of keeping horses boils down to peoples personal opinions after all and I don't think it's a problem to sound people out about about them! We all do it on here all the time :D

Could you ask in a way that related to your own horse. Like ' I'm feeding this what do you think? You feed a lot more than me' or something. Be more subtle than that of course!!
 
I bought my first horse last year and since then have always asked lots of questions - im on a wonderful livery yard but when i first started there i made it clear i wasnt questioning people per se - just askign for information if i really didnt understand something - i think its how you ask that counts.
I say something like ive seen you do a or b and want to know why because i dont understand or havent seen it before - everyone ive ever asked has been happy to explain x
 
i have had people comment on why i rug my TB, he is a sensitive soul and doesnt like the cold, and thats that. in fact i got told today i was being cruel ffs, tell you bout it on my other thread.

if you asked out of curiosity then yes, id explain, im used to it. i dont naturally get narky, but if you decided you were going to tell me i was wrong and give me another option id get a bit annoyed.
 
A lot of times people ask questions like this because they think it is wrong, and from what you have typed here, i would assume that is the case. It's fair enough, i can't see any reason for it either, apart from some people like to buy lots of rugs and give their horses yummy tea even when they're fat. But she might well realise that's why you're asking, or assume it is and take offense.

Someone claimed to be asking me 'why are you working a shire on the bit' as 'just a question' but i know full well they were really saying 'why are you bothering to make a shire work properly, they should be pulling milk carts'. So they got told to sling their hook. Didn't help she was Y.O's bratty teenager and always had a 'tone' but you can still tell when someone means differently to what they say.
 
somethingorother said:
A lot of times people ask questions like this because they think it is wrong, and from what you have typed here, i would assume that is the case. It's fair enough, i can't see any reason for it either, apart from some people like to buy lots of rugs and give their horses yummy tea even when they're fat. But she might well realise that's why you're asking, or assume it is and take offense.

Someone claimed to be asking me 'why are you working a shire on the bit' as 'just a question' but i know full well they were really saying 'why are you bothering to make a shire work properly, they should be pulling milk carts'. So they got told to sling their hook. Didn't help she was Y.O's bratty teenager and always had a 'tone' but you can still tell when someone means differently to what they say.
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ditto, come across that alot.
 
somethingorother said:
A lot of times people ask questions like this because they think it is wrong, and from what you have typed here, i would assume that is the case. It's fair enough, i can't see any reason for it either, apart from some people like to buy lots of rugs and give their horses yummy tea even when they're fat. But she might well realise that's why you're asking, or assume it is and take offense.

Someone claimed to be asking me 'why are you working a shire on the bit' as 'just a question' but i know full well they were really saying 'why are you bothering to make a shire work properly, they should be pulling milk carts'. So they got told to sling their hook. Didn't help she was Y.O's bratty teenager and always had a 'tone' but you can still tell when someone means differently to what they say.
Click to expand...

Thanks, sorry if I've not expressed myself very well. I don't think she's 'wrong', and as I said I don't know what a healthy gypsy cob looks like as far as conformation, this cob rides like a giant sofa he's sooooo comfy! I assume his owner has reasons for what she is doing, and I wonder what those reasons are for my own lack of education, that's all. For instance, I'm more concerned that MY horse isn't rugged/fed enough, because he's a fine-boned arab type and I find myself thinking as I mix their feed... should I be feeding Mo chaff with his mix? Two scoops instead of one? I think its a lack of confidence in horsemanship in the UK, its like a different animal (no pun intended) from the 'horses are work animals' mindset of Montana, and I do worry about being told that Mo is underweight/cold/sick because of something I've done or not done. If my boy is as gentle and well-mannered as her cob in future I shall be well-chuffed :D
 
If the question was from someone who would otherwise not speak to me or were unfamiliar with me I would perhaps be a little annoyed, perhaps a little upset as I tend to think people's questions mask the fact they are having a dig. Call me sensitive, thats just the way I am.

If the question was from someone who I respected and I was fairly close to I would reply and then ask the reason for the question.

I look after my horse to the best of my ability and am sure I don't always get it right. Saying that, he is happy and content, bright eyes, coat glistening and my vet says he is in excellent health, so I must be doing something right. He lives out 24/7/365 and due to the inclement weather is in a HW. He is not clipped. There are horses living in with no rugs, MW, HW ... who is anyone to say what is right or wrong for those horses, certainly not me or anyone for that matter, if the horse is happy and content.

Generally people know their horses and treat them accordingly and what is right for one horse may not be right for another and vice versa.

If the horses health was at risk then something should be said, otherwise people should keep their opinions to themselves.
 
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