Would you be upset and angry if ...

Gusbear

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Someone you trusted to ride your horse for you during the week on a temporary basis was allowing their non horsey friend, someone you don’t know and have never met ride your horse without your permission or prior knowledge?
It happened to me this week and I’m beyond angry.
I rarely if ever get angry but I’ve steam coming out of my ears. I’ve also found out my poor horse was given a cold bath on a cold winter’s day by rider and said friend without the need for it.
I’m fuming!
 

Greylegs

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I would be pretty annoyed for sure. Did they “ride” your horse, or just have a little sit on it while your friend led it slowly round a ménage? I think my level of annoyance would be proportionate to what actually happened, and my response measured accordingly.
 

Gusbear

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‘Friend’ has given no explanation. It’s a very long saga but from what I’ve experienced to date I’ve heard this week via the yard grapevine she now is of the understanding she is his part owner so she can do as she pleases. This is so far from the truth as she was simply was offered the opportunity to ride him for me during the week when I can’t get there due to work commitments. I’m moving to a new yard in 2 weeks time anyway. I can’t wait to move now to be honest. I was debating about it as going from full livery to grass and leaving some lovely fellow liveries/friends behind. New yard is a completely different kettle of fish and I’ll be leaving behind all the angst, politics and various other stresses that come with the current yard.
 
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‘I’ve heard this week via the yard grapevine she now is of the understanding she is his part owner so she can do as she pleases. This is so far from the truth as she was simply was offered the opportunity to ride him for me during the week when I can’t get there due to work commitments.
Flipping heck!

Good luck with the move. :)
 

Apercrumbie

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‘Friend’ has given no explanation. It’s a very long saga but from what I’ve experienced to date I’ve heard this week via the yard grapevine she now is of the understanding she is his part owner so she can do as she pleases. This is so far from the truth as she was simply was offered the opportunity to ride him for me during the week when I can’t get there due to work commitments. I’m moving to a new yard in 2 weeks time anyway. I can’t wait to move now to be honest. I was debating about it as going from full livery to grass and leaving some lovely fellow liveries/friends behind. New yard is a completely different kettle of fish and I’ll be leaving behind all the angst, politics and various other stresses that come with the current yard.
Good that you're moving - although I am always highly sceptical of the "yard grapevine". Things are nearly always exaggerated until they bear no recognition to the original incident. (Eg. a sponge wipe down after a ride becomes a bath etc.) Talk to your friend when you have calmed down, you may find that while she was out of line, it might not be as bad as what you have been told.
 

Gusbear

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Formerly Richmond, Surrey now Melbourne, Australia
The person sent me a video showing their friend walking and trotting my horse around the indoor, with said rider hanging onto his mouth with no idea what they were doing. Regardless of whether he was led around or ridden on his own, I never gave permission for anyone apart from this one person to get on him.
I’m more than happy to let people sit on him in my presence or with my prior permission, however to have some random person, and as it turns out someone that the rider met once on a overseas trip and is here on holiday get on my horse, regardless of being led around, just sat on or whatever is not acceptable. I’m not precious, however basic common manners dictate that I at least be asked if it’s ok. I should not have to apologise for it. He’s my horse. I spend a lorry load of money to keep him and I’m resentful he’s being used for ‘pony rides’ without my permission.
 

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite

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Slopping along on a loose rein somewhere in Devon
I would be incandescent, what an appalling abuse of trust. You let her have use of your lovely horse and this is what she does! I'd take your bleddi so-called "friend" and bung her backside-first under a hosepipe on a cold day in a draughty yard!!

To be fair to the "friend" who rode your horse, she probably had no idea that what she was doing was wrong, as she was no doubt told that the "owner" was fine with it!! So I don't think you can really blame her TBH.

Tis easy to be wise after the event: and you are moving yards anyway away from the situation, so this is an opportunity to firm things up a great deal more for the future (not a criticism, but you've had to learn a hard lesson with this one and it will make you very chary and wary now). I don't know what sort of set-up your new yard will be like, it may be that there are restrictions on who can ride apart from the owner. Whatever, you've learnt a hard lesson and have done the best thing possible in moving on to another yard.
 

awelshandawarmblood

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Very justified! I had similar happen to me up at an old yard where someone I had let borrow my boy once as a one off, I then found had then been using the yard diary to see the days I wasn't up (horse was under the yard owners care) & helping herself to him regularly! I only found out from coming across a comment on a facebook post where she told someone she'd hack out with them on my horse as hers was lame! I was fuming! Took all my tack home & kept it there until I could then move yards - didn't stop her riding him bareback in the school one evening though apparently!
 

poiuytrewq

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The “cold bath after a proper work out” I *might not be bothered about. We wash racehorses off in cold water all year round on work days, but, I’d only think it ok if the horse actually had been cooled down properly and rugged appropriately straight away.
The rest of it I’d be absolutely livid, fuming 😤
I’m so sorry for you aswell that this has come about, apart from anything it’s gutting that a friend has considered it ok.
 

ROMANY 1959

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I would be bouncing... once, when I was on holiday, someone took my lorry keys and drove 150 mile round trip to pick up a new horse from a dealer.. under the misguided idea that their own insurance covered them.. I saw FB posts of them loading said horse on my lorry, and unloading at yard, all while I was sitting g by a pool in Florida.. so you are well justified, and I would turn the cold hose on her as well..
 

AlinFaolan

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28 March 2007
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Yep I would be livid, many years ago I was on a very small yard and was asked by a fellow livery/friend if I was allowing the YO to use my lad to give lessons on, funny enough the answer was no, his tack came home that night and he was as moved as soon as I could get him on another yard.
 

meleeka

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Yes I would be cross. A similar thing happened to me but slightly different as it was my horse’s previous owner that let a totally novice man on board. Of course it was me that then had to pay the physio’s bill when his back was sore. She didn’t ever get another chance.
 

splashgirl45

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suffolk
o would question why horse was so hot in cold weather and why was he worked so hard....a sponge off is very different to a complete bath IMO and i would be pretty upset if he was working much harder than i did and would also be annoyed if a stranger rode him as well. i would ditch this friend and forget all about it and enjoy your new yard...someone on my yard wanted to borrow my loan horse to go for a hack with her friend who was also on my yard... she was a good considerate rider and if the horse was mine i would have let her but as the horse was on loan to me i said no as i couldnt get hold of her owner to get permission,...
 

Reacher

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Just be aware the fact you have removed tack may not stop someone that stupid from riding the horse. Make sure everyone knows he is not to be ridden.
(I once had horse at livery paying for the horse to be exercised and schooled. Discovered complete stranger (livery) hacking the horse without my knowledge. Person came off the horse -thank goodness they and the horse weren't hurt! Plus they stuck a badly fitting jumping on her without asking)
 

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite

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Slopping along on a loose rein somewhere in Devon
I too would be absolutely livid. I would put in WRITING to her and yard owner / manager that with IMMEDIATE EFFECT she DOES NOT have permission to ride / handle / whatever your horse. this way there can be no confusion going forwards
^^^^ This. Excellent idea. Also, as someone else has said, just because the tack isn't there doesn't mean that the horse can't be ridden..........

The sooner you get away from this yard the better methinks.
 

Muddywellies

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I would be beyond livid ! Apart from the fact that it is an abuse of trust, what on earth would have happened if there had been an accident ?? It honestly doesn’t bear thinking about. What is wrong with people ??
 
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