Would you be upset?

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ladybones

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If the person you let ride out once a week posted pictures of you horse on facebook JUMPING THEIR GARDEN WALL!!??

Heres the back story, i have had Harvey my little ex race horse for about 9months and during term time i live an hour away at uni so i manage to get back about 3 times a week to ride and my mum manages to ride him usually about once a week. We have a family friend who's son loves riding but who isn't allowed his own horse.. he has a very nice seat, but hasn't had too many formal riding lessons.. so i asked if he would like to ride out in exchange for doing bits and pieces around the yard, at first i insisted on going out with him on mums horse just to see if the partnership was alright etc and they seemed to get along fine so i started letting him ride harvey on his own with strict instructions to not let harvs hang onto the right rein (his favorate trick) and to just let him stretch out.

So he has been riding harvey once a week for a while now and then just now ive found pictures of MY HORSE jumping a 2 foot wall in the boy's garden!!! Although harvey is more than capable of jumping much bigger things etc i am fuming that he has been jumping my horse without permission! and in these pictures (album title Me and My Harvey!!) he his hanging onto his mouth mainly his right rein and all hollow and horrid.. it makes me feel sick, ive been working so hard with that horse and we have been placed in all our unaffiliated events. I just feel like this boy is ruining him! He has also written on out mutual friend's wall "WHEN WE GO RIDING WE HAVE TO HAVE A RACE LOL EX-RACER VS. THROUGH BRED THIS ISN'T GOING TO END NICELY" Am i over reacting? it is just once a week.. i dont know what im going to say to him as his family are very close with mine and i would rather do without any conflict. What should i say to him? HELP!!!

Wow that turned into a bit of a rant.. Choclate cake for those who finished!
 
Its tough as this is a young boy in question. Children do not realise thoughtfulness generally in the same way an adult does.
All the comments are just childlike imo and are not of any consequence, so i would discard the comments
As he has not had permission to jump him, then i would have to bring this up as this is not right without being asked.
 
fallen down dry stone wall.. i think im in shock that somebody would be so disrespectful.. i thought he was such a nice boy!
 
Yes I would be upset. What a wally to do these things in the first place, but to post on facebook is just stupid.

Tell him he's not riding your horse anymore.
 
The trouble is u dont really know what else he has being doing that hasnt been photographed and posted on a website. Confrontation is hard but if that was my horse he wouldnt be setting foot anywhere near it again. Its awful when someone betrays your trust - thank god for facebook at least you know now!
 
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fallen down dry stone wall.. i think im in shock that somebody would be so disrespectful.. i thought he was such a nice boy!

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And totally abusing your trust. I'd be beside myself with anger, and he wouldn't be riding the horse again!
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I would say that you no longer need him to ride your horse, your mum and you will manage between you and leave it at hat. I would be raging - he is taking advantage and its not right - even if he is not very experienced horse wise its no excuse.
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I wouldn't let him ride your horse anymore. Racing and jumping without your permission could just be the tip of the iceburg. I personally wouldn't want to risk ruining a horse i'd worked hard on.
 
!!! YESS !!!

but remember he's only a child. I'd consult his mother about it, and just explain the situation clearly, and how u feel. then say that you will no longer be needed, due to completely loosing your trust with them.

and ask them to look at it from your shoes, and see how it would feel!

make them feel guilty
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I would be soo angry and i wouldn't let him ride again as he has betrayed your trust and i would just tell him this theres no need to get nasty about it, i would also just go to his mum
 
Yes I would be very annoyed. BUT (now dont take this the wrong way) it is always risky letting children do things on their own no matter how good they seem. Why was this child riding out on his own anyway?? I would not have allowed that in the first place. As for jumping-yes I would be furious but with children you need to specify what they CANNOT do in black and white- I know he is only a child but this is an example of where a formal agreement should have been done and signed on his behalf by his parents. I would say what you have seen and quit him riding him full stop- if he isnt allowed his own that is not your problem to worry about. Him riding your horse is a big responsibility on you- was he even insured???
 
How old is he? If he is old enough to be riding out on his own then i think he should be old enough to know better than this...
Get rid of him. It's not worth risking your horse.
 
i would be so annoyed by that he definately wouldn't be riding my horse again and i'd make sure he and his mum knew why, its a shame but hopefully he'll learn from it
 
he is 16 and i have decided he wont be riding harvey anymore. I feel bad cos he loves horses but i can't have anyone doing such stupid things near/on my horse. Thanks everyone for making me relise i have every right to be furious!
 
P.s do people really think 16 is too young to ride out on your own on another persons horse? I wouldn't have thought so as i had vetted him and his riding before hand.. BUT obviously i was very very very wrong indeed!!
 
Personally I don't think 16 is too young. There are plenty of people of that age riding out on their own horses, and you did check out that he seemed suitable. If you were clear about what he was allowed to do then he has abused your trust (and your horse). I would terminate the arrangement with no arguments, and I think I would tell him and his mum why. The problem there is that some people can get quite irrational when it comes to their children, so if you think she's going to fall out with you in a huge way over that, then maybe you would decide to be discreet.
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I personally believe you've every right to be angry, as I would be in your shoes. I would also stop the boy from riding him again, and make sure he knows where he went wrong. Just to add, I ride on a YO's behalf, and I'd never do anything she didn't know about, I always make sure she's ok with it first.
 
16??? I was thinking he was a child!! 16 is older than me, and i think that's fine for riding out on other peoples horses on your own- i was doing it at far younger than that, as i'm sure many people on here were!
Hugs to you for having such a rubbish experience with someone untrustworthy and irresponsible. x
 
im 16 and have ridden several horses for people and would never dream of doing this or anything even remotely similar. IMO he shouldn't be on your horse if he cant be trusted.
 
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i was doing it at far younger than that, as i'm sure many people on here were!


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Ditto, I started when I was 11, I'm 19 now. When I was 11 I rode a 16.2hh ex racer TB out for hacks, but at the same time, I never did anything without permission or unless I was asked.
 
QR- yes i think i would be upset...however, i think its probably unintentional on the part of the boy in question. as a teenager he's probs just not thought that this is inappropriate way to ride your horse...i think maybe you should have a quiet word with him and ask him not to jump him if you don't want him doing this...its always hard sharing your horse with someone, my sharer sometimes does things which drive me insane but i just have to bite my tongue as i'm generally just being a control freak....

edited to say- i don't think you are being a control freak on this occasion! realised it sounded a bit like i was suggesting you were!
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yes I would be angry. Something similar happened to me, I went on holiday and left 2 friends in charge of my then horse. They were under instruction not to ride him as he was lame (I was only away for a week and thought I'd just give him some field rest). I came back to find they had galloped him and jumped him :-(
I opened the stable door, and he literally fell out, Mum who isn't horsey was nearly in tears. and went to call the vet. He must have been 7 tenths lame when I got home :-(
Don't let him ride again, but explain why to him - he needs to know it was wrong, and why
 
Diggerbez- lol, i didnt think you were calling me a control freak.. the reason i posted in the first place was to just make sure i was being rational as i am constently on edge when people ride my horses (this incident aint gonna help!!) my mum doesn't even let me watch her ride them as all i do is niggle at her!
I agree with some people that he is a teenager and was probably showing off to mates (i presume someone was taking the pics) and to be fair i didnt say DONT jump i just said 'just hack' but i think that i dont feel comfortable with him being on my horse anymore, which i a shame because it was handy having him around! I just have to decide exactly how to handle him and him family i.e letting him know he has let me down, but not upsetting him or the family..
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