Would you bother?

[Honey08]

With a sharer who is a great rider, but rarely comes, putting herself first, and deliberately choosing the days that you have a groom so that there are no jobs to help with, and who promises to help you trim up one of the horses, but "hasn't time this week, will try and sort something out.." Who you haven't seen for two and a half months, but who then texts to see if you still need help...? When you've not asked for any money or jobs, offered as much riding as they want, and the chance to compete on a horse that has done affiliated BE and BS?

Just said no and that I'm managing fine at the moment without help, but now feeling guilty!

 

[Star_Chaser]

isn't the point of a sharer to share? if she isn't turning up isn't helping with the chores then beyond riding for her own pleasure what is she giving to the share??

Why not give her a set regular day and if she fails after a month then call it a day. There might be someone else out there who would jump at the opportunity.

 

[Littlelegs]

Don't feel guilty, sounds like she's been taking advantage for a while.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I wouldn't bother. But then I'm not known for my patience in such situations.

 

[Honey08]

It wasn't really a sharer arrangement, more someone to help with exercising the horses. I have another lady who rides my husband's horse that is lovely, fits in really well, mucks out etc on her days, despite never being asked, and works with my family so that we all get riding..

Its hard to have set days because I work different days.. Like this week I go away for six days, so the horses are free for all six days if someone wanted to ride. Even if I'm on my days off at the weekend, I still make sure that the sharers get a ride - I try and be fair..

I know, it wasn't working out. I just despair of ever getting my horses fit enough to event ever again!

 

[Ladyinred]

If you don't need her then let her go. If she is as good a rider as you say and you feel she could be of help then contact her and lay down a few ground rules. Such as she appears x number of days a week, does x number of tasks and is then free to ride. Maybe she is one of those people who needs discipline and boundaries or maybe she is so unsure of herself she doesn't think you really want her. Ground rules would sort it out either way!

 

[Elsiecat]

No I wouldn't bother with it I don't think. I think I'd be much more ok with the whole 'no jobs' thing if their commitment to exercising the horses was regular. It sounds willy nilly!

 

[Honey08]

Thanks, I've already said no thanks, despite really needing someone to exercise. She was a bit of a busy bee, always off on skiing hols and rushing off to Sunday lunch with the girls after riding, I just think she had too much on, and it was almost "too easy" to just pop over on the day we have a groom and have a nice free ride then bob off again! I must be a bit of a mug, but then again it works really well with the other girl, who is a genuine person and wouldn't dream of not mucking in..

 

[YorksG]

There are those who give and those who take in this world. We had someone kept their pony here for a short while, over winter, for the cost of forage. We put the pony out and brought it in each day, not once did she offer to do ours for us Another woman who lived near us, offered to put ours out, later than we could so the old lady wasn't out all day, she would take no money for it and wasn't too keen on accepting the gloves we bought her as she thought they were too expensive.

 

[Honey08]

Yes I think you're right. I met a taker or two when we did DIY! I think we need to find someone on the same level, I've just got to factor in someone who can cope with the horse too!! If you know of anyone nice on your side of the hill looking for something to ride, let me know!

 

[FinnishLapphund]

Great rider, how great are we talking about, I mean are we talking John Whitaker, Rolf-Göran Bengtsson and similar then fair enough, they're busy men, I would not expect them to brush and groom a horse before riding it, but if we're not talking that level of great rider, then my answer would be , and

.

So I think you made the right decision, after all, if she rarely turns up to ride your horses, she's most likely not providing much help for getting your horses more fit, unless, she have some powers that works on a distance...

 

[ebonyallen]

Hey do not feel guilty, as others have said a sharer is to share the work load, and seems to me she has well and truly taken the pxxs, you were doing it on your own . I would have told her to sling her hook !!

 

[FfionWinnie]

No, cut your losses with her, there will be someone much better on the horizon and if not, who cares, you don't need her using you like this.

 

[ester]

no, I think if you're going to agree to ride for someone you have to at least commit to doing it regularly.

 

[Pippity]

Surely the point of a sharer is to share the costs and/or workload?

If she isn't even committing to sharing the fun bits, never mind the poo-filled bits, cut her loose!

 

[Orls]

This exact same thing happened to me! I offered a girl to ride my horse, not a sharer formal arrangement I was just short on time due to setting up my own business and needed some help with exercising. She said she would do three days a week. Everything was fine for the first month and then I'd go down on my days and see his tack was untouched. She'd never got down to ride him but didn't let me know, so then I had a hot horse to battle with (he's the kind who needs ridden daily, hence me asking for help really ...) I let it go for a while and then left her a message asking is she still wanted to ride. She said yes and told me how great she was getting on with him etc. she said she was just busy with work. Well, I understood as I was too so I let it go again. Then I saw she'd posted on Facebook moaning about having no horse to ride! So cheeky, I guess she just got bored of him and thought she could beg a ride from someone else!

I've since learned that in my absence she was beating him up, smacking him so hard with a schooling whip he was left marked just because he's a little spooky. That's the last time I let anyone else ride my horse (except the staff at the yard who are wonderful) I fit him in around my job now, even if it means riding at 10pm! This girl is considered a great rider in the area. I was so angry for her to treat both me and my horse that way. He's a very good quality horse, a little green but very well bred and a super show jumper so she threw away a good opportunity IMO.

If I was you OP I would look for another more reliable rider. You need to know that your horse is getting exercised for your peace of mind if nothing else.

 

[YorksG]

Yes I think you're right. I met a taker or two when we did DIY! I think we need to find someone on the same level, I've just got to factor in someone who can cope with the horse too!! If you know of anyone nice on your side of the hill looking for something to ride, let me know!

The best women I know for this job are sadly both too busy, one being the woman who felt guilty about accepting the gloves! She has two of her own to ride and is unbelievably busy, the other equally good rider, is sadly also too busy trying to earn a crust. Either or both would have been ideal, the second one having whipped in, point to pointed and worked on a polo yard. I will keep my ears and eyes open though

 

[Shysmum]

yup, good riddance

 

[Nicnac]

No I wouldn't.

Aaaarrrrrggghhh - why is it so difficult to find people. You'd think that a nice horse to ride would be such a great opportunity for someone, but am in same boat.

I can find people to ride if I pay them but trying to get commitment from others who can ride for free who bemoan the fact they can't afford/don't have time for their own horse 7 days a week is worse than finding hen's teeth.

I'm in South East & it's no better here.

 

[Pippity]

Aaaarrrrrggghhh - why is it so difficult to find people. You'd think that a nice horse to ride would be such a great opportunity for someone, but am in same boat.

And here I am, trying to find a horse to ride! (Although I'm rather handicapped by the fact that I'm a shortarse, I weigh a lot, and I'm a crap rider. Frankly, *I* wouldn't want me riding my horse!)

 

[milo'n'molly]

No, I wouldn't. Riding out as and when isn't helping you at all in your efforts to get your horses fit. With the economy as it is I'm sure you will find someone suitable. My own horse is out on loan as I don't have the time to do her justice due to working extra but I'm happy to help friends out. I'm on the other side of "the hill" toyou but I can't be the only person doing this so im sure you'd find someone

 

[Nicnac]

And here I am, trying to find a horse to ride! (Although I'm rather handicapped by the fact that I'm a shortarse, I weigh a lot, and I'm a crap rider. Frankly, *I* wouldn't want me riding my horse!)

None of the above is a problem for this particular horse - the 7 hour journey (each way) however.......

 

[Pippity]

None of the above is a problem for this particular horse - the 7 hour journey (each way) however.......

Tempting as it is, I think I'll keep looking a bit closer to home...

 

[Polos Mum]

I always found charging a sharer a small amount (£20 a week) even if it was exercise I was looking for not cash, helped to weed out the one off joy riders and make people come each week as it had actually cost them something.
If after a few months it was all working out well I have dropped the money side of things but it helps initially.

 

[Honey08]

Thanks all.

Its just very hard to have an official sharer situation, as I don't have regular work days, I'm home then away for varying amounts of time. Also my stepson is here some weekends but not others, so the days the horses are available change all the time (having said that, I always made sure all "sharers" got to ride, giving up my own riding to be fair sometimes..

ps, when I said a good rider, I mean she could easily and happily handle my horse, who, while she isn't a badminton level horse, thinks she is! This girl had worked for badminton level riders and was well used to a highly strung horse..

I'm sure (or I hope!) someone will come up. I was just feeling guilty last night for telling her I didn't need her, but the last time I'd heard from her was Dec 15th!!