Would you get involved..

M

Mbronze

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A friend of mine has just bought a horse after selling her last one because it was too difficult, although in my opinion it wasn't difficult at all just needed a bit of time spending on it and a couple of lessons....

Anyway back to the present, she did decide to have a break from horses (but this lasted about two weeks after she sold her first one)

Then she announced she had found the perfect horse (her new instructor found for her) she brought it back today and although it is lovely looking it seems to be an absolute devil in the stable..

Whilst i realise it needs to get settled in before opinions on its behaviour are formed it was very possessive over food tonight and tried to bite and turn its bum on her.

Now heres the thing, she came up to me at my stable and started asking could i help with it including riding and basically teaching it some manners, and whilst i am flattered that she asked i don't want to get involved because i got involved with her last horse and believed we were doing quite nicely and then she announced that she was selling, so i felt all the (free) help i was giving her was all for nothing.

What do you think i should do for the best, i don't really want to be bitten..
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If it were me I'd sit on it, if I enjoyed riding it I'd carry on. But then I'm a bit addicted to horses like that, proven by the fact that my two share owners offered me money for riding their horses and I refused! I enjoy the riding too much and if they sell their horses after I've worked on them then hey, I've had a good time. However... bearing in mind I don't know the ins and outs of the situation but this horse sounds exactly like the first. In which case I wouldn't be surprised if horse number two went the same way as horse number one. Seeing as you were peeved the first time she did that then don't be surprised if you get involved and it happens again! But like I said I don't really know the situation.
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I wouldnt get involved but that's because I'm bitter and mean - too many bad experiences with people who just take the mickey. TBH if you already feel this way you'll only end up feeling more frustrated with the person when she does sell the horse on because it sounds like she will as it will take time and effort and is this really time and effort you want to put in? It's obviously not the perfect horse - if one exists (besides mine of course!
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) - and so she is likely to sell. Don't get involved and you will avoid bad feeling
 
your head says to stay well away and you know that, but i have been in this situation too and found it difficult watching a horse walking all over a friend as she just didnt have the know how with how to deal with a horse like that.

in the end i agreed to help as the horse was running amok and shattering my friends confidence.
she did sell in the end, but it went to a person who had the experience and my friend didnt lose any money and now has the most lovely horse!

i know its slightly different to your situation but if she is a friend you may find it too difficult not to help.
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She is a friend but then again i get the feeling that there are some people you really can't help in life no matter how hard you try..perhaps i'm like loobilloo

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bitter and mean - too many bad experiences with people who just take the mickey

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I think if it was a good friend who just wanted help and was willing to take advice on board and work on the horse then yes fair enough but if she over horses herself then gets bored and wants something new then no.
 
If it was me I would say that I wouldnt do it for her but I would show/teach her how to do it herself. I dont think anyone learns by someone doing it for them. You wont be there all the time will you? She has an instructor so its better that she builds the bond with the horse. You could justifiably say that two different people riding him could confuse him initially.

So a bit of help/guidance yes, but dont get overly involved and dont do it for her.
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I certainly wouldnt ride for her.
 

Yup, leave them to it - the new instructor who found the horse for her can be the guru, and how do any of us know if (ahem) the instructor got a bit of commission for selling the horse from it's previous owner.

Let them get on with it...
 
Are you insured? What happens if her horse damages you and you can't see to your own? Will she pay for someone else to do it?
This tends to be what stops me getting involved in stuff like this...
 
And what will she be paying you to take these risks and provide this in demand service?
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If she doesn't care enough to make professional arrangements (either with you, your instructor, or someone else) then she doesn't care enough to get the problem sorted. So it won't be.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but that's been my experience. The world is full of wonderful, caring owners with horses they genuinely want to help, who are willing to do what needs to be done in their horses' and their own best interests. Anyone who wants other people to take on THEIR OWN responsibility for free is well, not responsible.

That may sound tough on the horse - after all, it's not his fault - but I can tell you if she's not signed on it won't work anyway. Sucks for him, but there it is.
 
I would say if she really really needed some advice/help then give it to her but make it clear she should be getting help from instructor first. I say that because at the end of the day it's teh horse that suffers.
 
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