Would you help someone new?

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Holly82

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As the title says. If someone new to horses moved on your yard would you help them out? :confused: I personally would say yes. But what if it was a temper tantrum teenager?:confused:

Unsure, what to do as i could be wasting my breath.

Any thoughts?
 
Of course. I'm quite new to my yard and I would be a bit upset if someone didn't want to help me just because I was a newbie.
 
Do they have 'temper tantrums' or are you just labelling them as this because they're a teenager? If so then yes. As long as I had the time and the person was greatfull, why on earth wouldn't I help?
 
I want to help out as its their first horse, but the teenager is a nightmare and sulks all the time and doesnt seem to want to listen to anything. I feel that her parents have just given into a fad :(

I feel that i would end up just teaching the parents.

The horse is suffering, because of their lack of knowledge and even the YO is getting concerned.
 
Teenagers, mm maybe you just need to make friends to get their confidence. Shyness can come across as sulkiness? You can only be helpful to an extent but I think it may well be a case of getting to know you!
 
I have tried on a few occasions to talk to her, but you only get one worded answers or she ignores you. Shes even gone mad at YO on one occasion, because she was trying to give it a full bucket of hard feed and didnt want anyone telling her she was doing anything wrong.

I'm currently teaching my own daughter the ropes and giving her lessons and my husband has suggested getting her involved with us. But i cant see her wanting to listen or even taking in what im trying to tell her. I might just be banging my head against a brick wall.
 
Yes!

Everyone starts off at the same point, being the new person and feeling worried/having no-one to speak to can be horrible.

Sometimes there is just no helping some people and that can be their own downfall. But don't get too involved - otherwise you may end up caring for the horse when the girl decides she's over her new toy.

Plus, you may need help one day - its nice to know someone will be there to help you out. :)
 
Yes, but they'd have to ask.

As a guide leader (and from once being teenager myself) I've learned that you can't TELL those kind of teens anything, especially if they see you as an authority figure, or someone who thinks they're an authority figure. I usually get involved with their games, chat with them, share gossip and eventually they'll think that whatever you wanted them to do in the first place was a great idea because it was THEIR idea. (that or they get sick of me trying to join in their gossip and decide to do what I want just to get rid of me. Either way it works)
 
if they asked for help yes... if they didnt then no. i dont like interfering people and im certainly not turning into one myself! if someone started trying to help me when i didnt ask then i would probably get quite defensive but then im very independent and i will ask for help if i need it.. if i dont need it i dont really want it in all honesty... im also a teenager and we can get a little defensive as people do tend to automatically think you have no idea :o
 
I'm wondering if your daughter is a similar age or slightly younger? Maybe she could break the ice by being curious about the stroppy teens pony, so stroppy teen can choose to talk to her. Maybe there's a slight chance she'd prefer to befriend a younger girl and they could learn together rather than listen to (in her view) know-it-all adults? Just a thought. I do agree that she won't learn anything until she wants to though, so you're better helping the parents.
My daughter is 13 and can be stroppy too, especially when tired/hungry/bored/breathing:eek: ......but she has her good moments, love her!
 
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I'd try and if I thought she was being dangerous eg whole bucket of feed, and she had a strop on me, I'd raise my concerns with the YO, who I believe has a duty of care.
 
Holly82 said:
As the title says. If someone new to horses moved on your yard would you help them out? :confused: I personally would say yes. But what if it was a temper tantrum teenager?:confused:

Unsure, what to do as i could be wasting my breath.

Any thoughts?
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By all means help her if she needs it (the horse probably does) but don't let it stop you pointing out that her behaviour is inappropriate.

I don't hold with this odd notion that you can't set children straight because you aren't its parent. If a child is behaving in a manner which impinges on others then it should be pulled up by the nearest adult.

But then I'm the sort of old-fashioned retired teacher who believed that it is our responsibility to deal with recalcitrant children - and before anyone starts squawking, a teenager is a child until s/he is 18.

Apart from anything else, we have aresponsibility to the horse.
 
Holly82 said:
I have tried on a few occasions to talk to her, but you only get one worded answers or she ignores you. Shes even gone mad at YO on one occasion, because she was trying to give it a full bucket of hard feed and didnt want anyone telling her she was doing anything wrong.

I'm currently teaching my own daughter the ropes and giving her lessons and my husband has suggested getting her involved with us. But i cant see her wanting to listen or even taking in what im trying to tell her. I might just be banging my head against a brick wall.
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You could be right. If the parents can't control her and the YO hasn't turfed her off for her behaviour to him/her she's getting althogether too much of her own way.
 
I think its only a matter of time before they are asked to leave the yard, from what the YO has told me. He does not tollerate that behaviour.

The horse is also suffering as its been loosing weight and has become aggitated because hes doing nothing and is taking the micky when being handled, as they are not giving him any boundaries. I have been told hes even been taking straw out of the muck heap, which is close by, as they havent been providing enough hay.

Its all a bit sad really. I guess its upto the yard owner to take further action.
 
If they asked for help yes, but there are ways to approach a stroppy teenager without getting their backs up. You got to make it look as though they came to you though, easier for them to cope with.
I couldn't leave someone struggling to do something without at offering to help them.
 
My eldest daughter is 13 and i know all about her tantrums, which are crazy at times, but this girl is way above her!!

I have said to my other daughter (the one im teaching with her pony) to talk to the girl, which she has done, but its not really progressed apart from some small talk. I dont think even her parents can get her to think and act sensibly.
 
Holly82 said:
Kevin & perry LOL :D I love them!! :p
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Just think about them when you see her trust me it will help you deal with her :D
Maybe she's struggling to come to terms with becoming an Adult? The brain is busy growing, and hormones firing at full pelt. Some get it worse than others, perhaps she's one of those?
 
This is quite difficult to deal with. Normally when a teenager doesn't want to listen to their parents they invariably will listen to a non related adult i.e. someone at the yard. If she isn't listening to anyone then I think it's down to the YO to have a word with ther parents & tell them that the care the horse is receiving isn't up to scratch & needs addressing. The YO then needs to lay the law down to the teenager & hopefully they will listen & act on the advice given. If the teenager still doesn't want to listen & learn then the YO will need to ask them to leave. This unfortunately doesn't bode well for the horse but there is only a certain amount of this behaviour that can be tollerated
 
Personally I would try being the teenagers friend first.

Her sulking may be that she's feeling intimidated- lets face it the horse world and livery yards can be intimidating to most experienced folk especially when you're struggling.

I'd perhaps compliment her on the things she does well try and build her confidence and earn her trust that way. I know some wouldn't bother but its not in me to ignore someone or not try to get on with them I see rude people as a challenge!
 
nikCscott said:
Personally I would try being the teenagers friend first.

Her sulking may be that she's feeling intimidated- lets face it the horse world and livery yards can be intimidating to most experienced folk especially when you're struggling.

I'd perhaps compliment her on the things she does well try and build her confidence and earn her trust that way. I know some wouldn't bother but its not in me to ignore someone or not try to get on with them I see rude people as a challenge!
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Thanks! I may try that approach :)

Oh yes i agree it cant be easy. I vowed i would never go back on a yard after the last one i was on a couple of years ago, drove me insane to the point were i just sold my horses in the end :(:mad:, but this yard is small and quiet and everyone seems quite nice. I think its just the YO whos getting annoyed with them more than anything. And like others have said it will probably just be a matter of time before her attitude makes them kick her off. And i know nothing their parents say will make them change their mind.
 
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