Would you just give up?

Just go down a level to regain your confidence. i.e. forget about jumping for the time being, stick to slowish hacking and schooling. Get a schoolmaster type horse, maybe slightly older. Its just bad luck too - I've had 6 bad falls this year already, landed on my head twice and knocked out my wind out once and never hurt myself. Lots of people fall off!
 
Pebbles said:
Help - your opinions needed! I am an older rider who has owned horses and ridden all my life but due to divorce had to stop for 10 years. Recently became in the lucky position to buy again and to cut a long story short had two nasty falls in last 8 months. First from a new horse who exploded whilst mounting and dumped me onto concrete yard, black eye, stitches in arm and on crutches for 6 weeks. Horse returned to dealer as within first week, refund paid no questions asked. This followed by trying a few more and some refresher lessons, hacks at school to keep my hand in whilst looking. Then 3 weeks ago another fall in the school at speed into a fence, broke 3 ribs, punctured lung, knocked out and airlifted to hospital. Slowly recovering now at home again but wondering what next? My family understandably concerned for me, no one likes to see their Mum in a heap on floor or in hospital bed but of course the passion lives on and I still want to live the dream but is fate trying to tell me something? Bored and pensive whilst still looking at horses for sale ads - your thoughts please? Just a run of bad luck or a sign to hang up my boots?
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You do seem a little unlucky don't you and my heart goes out to you, I am an older lady still riding and I have a lovely big welsh cob who although is far from an easy ride and he was off for nearly 3 years with a tendon injury, he is back and working well on the flat.. I understand your fears because I myself have become more afraid over the years (when I think of the things I did as a child, my blood runs cold) and have to stick my courage to its sticking place on more than one occasion... but I would really miss it if I stopped...

I too had a nasty fall last year, nothing like yours and wasn't hospitalised but severely bruised and a cracked rib but I don't actually remember falling off so at least no nasty flashbacks... I know it is hard but do you know of a reliable dealer who could find you a really safe schoolmaster or a friends pony to ride because riding is in the blood whilst you have to weigh up your safety against any enjoyment, most of the time it is a relatively safe sport....

Good luck with your quest and don't be too disheartened....

Izzy
 
And just so everything is crystal clear, there is absolutely nothing crap about this wonderful ladies seat, position or abilty. It is purely tension and low confidence that hinders her. Pebbles is a very good rider with a very good seat, she does not believe me! Someone blumin' tell her!! The thing that makes her feel unbalanced and lacking ability is the tension in her legs created by her low confidence - not poor riding ability. Here endeth the rant! :D
 
Winklepoker said:
And just so everything is crystal clear, there is absolutely nothing crap about this wonderful ladies seat, position or abilty. It is purely tension and low confidence that hinders her. Pebbles is a very good rider with a very good seat, she does not believe me! Someone blumin' tell her!! The thing that makes her feel unbalanced and lacking ability is the tension in her legs created by her low confidence - not poor riding ability. Here endeth the rant! :D
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Thank you so much for the support and vote of confidence - it means the world - now I just have to believe in myself again!! xx
 
Izzy thank you for your kind words - I will now be searching for more of schoolmaster type for some nice relaxing hacks etc and Winklepoker - yes, let the search commence!!!! xx

HHO you have all been so constructive I cannot thank you enough xx
 
What a lovely thread! I've not been on HHO much recently as have got fed up with all of the b*tching, arguing and trolling that's been going on recently. So nice to see HHO'ers being supportive for once!

Pebbles, I can't add any more to the advice already given, but just wanted to wish you all the best and hope that you do soon find the horse who will give you back your confidence once again!
 
Faro said:
What a lovely thread! I've not been on HHO much recently as have got fed up with all of the b*tching, arguing and trolling that's been going on recently. So nice to see HHO'ers being supportive for once!

Pebbles, I can't add any more to the advice already given, but just wanted to wish you all the best and hope that you do soon find the horse who will give you back your confidence once again!
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Thank you Faro - fingers crossed x
 
I would say find a nice quiet horse, and don't give up. Perhaps you might be able to find a 'ploddy' horse to share for a while to build up confidence. I've never tried it but some people say that learning how to fall through a martial art such as aikido is very beneficial, particularly as you bounce less when older. Aikido has gentler training generally so suitable for all ages. Good luck in your search, perhaps look at private ads if you aren't already, you will find the right horse :)
 
Haven't rea all the replies so apologies if any of this has already been said.

Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your injuries and falls. I hope you heal up fairly quickly!
Secondly, (and I say this with all due respect) if I understand things correctly you are just getting back in the saddle after 10 years? If this is the case I personally would not be looking at "active, competition types" just yet. 10 years is a long time and despite the level you were riding at before you will have to re-establish your seat and balance etc. i would recommend that you look at loaning a nice forward going but sane cob to get you back into the swing of things before looking at competition horses again.

Lastly good luck in your venture to get back into the saddle!
 
I am 64 and have broken in 3 quiet ones in 5 years, currently still own number3, I am on crutches since yesterday, woke up with a torn ligament, not horse related, sleep related!
I can't jump properly nowadays as my reactions are too slow, but can do all grid work and pop tiny poles. I will get someone in the yard to do the jumping while I set up the jumps.
With your background you could be offered a top class loan horse, maybe a retired dressage type, which could give you all the feelings without over excitement and unpredictability. If you still want to compete you can try endurance or TREC which are both accessible at international level with the right horse.
 
echo all the other advice - but you could also consider out of the saddle traing as well - pilates or yoga to build core strength - as i get older - 50ish - i find i am far less bendy & flexible & regular yoga does really help - & the breathing exercises are very useful in situations when i get a bit anxious:)
 
I'm still pretty young tbf, but if it helps at all, after being totally over-horsed last time, I spent 5 or 6 years staring at every equine resembling thing I saw, desperately wishing I didn't have a temper tantrum (following a nasty fall) and jack it all in.

I've loved horses from as soon as I opened my eyes, according to my totally non-horsey Mum! I can ride very correctly but I ruin it with lack of confidence. My new mare and I are figuring it out together, but when I tense, she tenses, then she dips her back and reverses, I ball up and we both get ouchy!!

It sounds like you have some lovely friends, I would strongly advise, that you allow them to search for you. Give them a basic wish list and then put your fingers over your eyes until he or she arrives. I say this because my dream horse is every little girl's black arab stallion, a bay would do LOL but could I handle that?? No... I pick cars by how they look too lol. So I have m/weight cob, who I think is a little bit scary but when the RI gets on her, she is 'quite behind the leg' which is my RI being polite :D :D I thought I had a fizzy seat... It's deffo the nerves, and the horse picks up on it before I even feel it!

Sorry v rambley, let your friends look, you'll probably be totally surprised... :D x
 
More thanks for all the very constructive suggestions above which are all duly noted and will be added to the shopping/to do list. I think building up the flexibility and core strength alongside the riding a really important part of a self help plan and yes I am very lucky with lovely supportive friends who I will listen to and let you all know when we find 'the one' - you are all so very appreciated x
 
Pebbles, I've been in a similar mindset after a fall (nowhere near as scary as yours!) which resulted in a fairly long recovery. I knew I wouldn't enjoy 'plodders', but really wasn't ready for too much action so found an older Welsh section D to share for a while. She was super sprightly, very cheeky, and a lot of fun but at about 15hh she was much closer to the ground than I was used! It was a massive confidence boost as I usually felt as if I could just hop off if I needed to.

It did, however, make me realise that I'd lost a lot of the core strength that helps you stick to the plate and helps you feel more secure so the yoga/pilates suggestion is a great one.

I think from your replies you definitely want to get back in the saddle - I hope you recover very soon!:)
 
A friend of mine suffered simillar injuries to your last fall. Give yourself time to heal, then start with quiet ones, building strength, seat & confidence. When my friend was ready to start again I'd ride her lad out, & she borrowed a quiet well mannered cob. We built up distance, & went through the paces when she was ready. She got to the point she wanted to get back on her boy again, & hasn't looked back.

Go for the quiet ones & just enjoy your riding. The endurance suggestion was good. Find a chilled type & try a pleasure ride (called NCR's). You can find details about the years schedule at endurancegb.co.uk. You can explore some wonderful parts of the country where often riding isn't permitted & if you don't want to do a competative ride, you don't have to.
 
puppystitch said:
Pebbles, I've been in a similar mindset after a fall (nowhere near as scary as yours!) which resulted in a fairly long recovery. I knew I wouldn't enjoy 'plodders', but really wasn't ready for too much action so found an older Welsh section D to share for a while. She was super sprightly, very cheeky, and a lot of fun but at about 15hh she was much closer to the ground than I was used! It was a massive confidence boost as I usually felt as if I could just hop off if I needed to.

It did, however, make me realise that I'd lost a lot of the core strength that helps you stick to the plate and helps you feel more secure so the yoga/pilates suggestion is a great one.

I think from your replies you definitely want to get back in the saddle - I hope you recover very soon!:)
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Thank you P your post made me smile :-) yes I clearly do want to carry on riding! I have a friend with a mature Welsh D who I used to ride and most probably could again - excellent food for thought x

Pip6 - and more enouragement happily received, I think maybe lots of hacking could be the way forward because following Winklepokers post about my abilities (she is my 'significant other' friend who mentors me in my return to ownership and is young, fit and a very experienced, excellent rider) it made me wonder if at the moment whilst fully confident during lessons I think I might just be trying 'too hard' and not relaxing through my legs enough stopping me sitting as deep as I should. Lots of relaxed hacks out would really help me deepen seat whilst relaxing at same time and may be the best way to proceed then fine tune things later with some lessons. It is a great learning curve absorbing all your great suggestions guys xx
 
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It sounds, OP, like you've got a good plan to go forward and trustworthy people who can help you achieve it. :)

I would urge anyone feeling similarly to get good help. I have taught a lot of people over the years coming back into riding after a break/injury and it is often not a case of just "getting over it". Yes, accidents happen with horses but for many adults it's also a case of understanding WHY things can/do go wrong and how to go about minimising the risks - something we rarely worry about when we're young and unfettered.

My main business is young and problem horses and I often meet people in these situations quite far down the line, when they've had something serious happen or they've bought a young horse and realised they need to adjust how they do things from when they were younger. All very "fixable" but they're almost always people who are quite competent in the past so are sure they should be able to sort it out themselves when, in fact, they would be the first people to call a plumber/mechanic/vet etc to fix an issue in another part of their lives.

Of course not everyone operates or learns the same way but the vast majority of people I've seen with confidence/returning to riding concerns have been vastly empowered by a bit of "brushing up" and learning some new tricks and approaches, rather than just keeping on keeping on.

Also, it takes time. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the process, don't just rush to meet some arbitrary goal. After all, that's part of what growing up is supposed to teach us. ;)
 
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