Would you let a bloke ride your horse?

Thisbe

Thisbe

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Hi everyone

Quick question as I would love some opinions. I have recently got a new client 15/16 stone guy (but carries himself well) wants to ride knows walk and trot bit of canter and is thinking about buying a horse. He is really lovely loves horses and one day hopes to hunt.

Most riding schools wont take him because of his size and he hates them so he wants his own,

Problem one- being non-horsey he has absolutly no idea of the costs and when I explain them he keeps trying to think of ways round them.

Problem 2 - he thinks he should then buy a cheap horse, i have tried to explain that the weight bearing saint of a horse that is going to have to teach him then be able to hunt with him is not going to come cheap the perfect gent never does.

Problem 3 - I think he will only ride once or twice a week as he is very busy.

So I think the solution would be to find a horse share in Surrey for him, and here is the question for you guys,

what are the chances of people letting big but lovely guy share there horse.............i think slim but if people think it might be worth looking into I would love to know.
 
If I had a weight carrier then I dont see what the issue would be with him being a man... but maybe thats just me! My instructor regularly rides my horse and I dont even think twice about it!
 
If he had the right attitude (and my horse would manage his weight) then to be honest I would happily let a bloke ride my horse.

He definitely sounds like he isn;t ready to buy his own as he doesn't sound 100% committed yet.

Good luck on finding a share :)
 
Thanks guys and I agree if I had a good sensible weight bearer I would nice to gage opinions thanks.

Agreed on the commitment thing thats why I thought a share would be better
 
I swap horses with the guy who owns our yard regularly and he's 15/16 stone. It's never bothered me and rose doesn't mind I don't see the problem as long as the horse is enough of a weight carrier. Although don't know if I'd be too keen to have a 15/16 stone novice bouncing about on her back(not saying ur guy is) and pullin on her mouth lol
 
Well I'm at the lower end of his weight and found a share- I am a girl tho LOL. My share horses owners would of had no problem with a guy, as Boris (the horse- 17hh warmblood before i get any- you're too heavy comments) is techically the male owners anyway.

It may be more of a problem that the guy is a total novice, and has never really looked after a horse before.
 
He's not that heavy for a bloke, maybe he's not looking at the right sort of establishments?...I duno, maybe he needs to look else where, perhaps private lessons?

Regarding costs, hmmm perhaps draw up a rough monthly bill of how much your horse costs you including any past vet bills, take him to a few local tack shops and feed merchants, livery yards, give him a better understanding of how much things really cost.


Buying a cheap horse, well he's certainly got his business head on lol I think learning to ride and look after a horse will be all he needs to worry about for the time being before he thinks about buying one let alone going hunting, if he can't afford decent lessons or just doesn't want to pay for them, or can't be bothered to learn, trying to cut costs and won't have time to ride more than 3 times a week, how on earth is he going to expect to go hunting? not painting your friend out as the above but it does sound from your post that he sort of has an excuse for what your trying to tell him....if you see what I mean. :)

As you'll know yourself no doubt, you can't cut corners when it comes to learning to ride and owning a horse, not matter how lovely his is and his good intentions, I think you may need to drill that into him first :D
 
I would (if i was in the area and had a suitable horse) but on the proviso that he had lessons - and I'd maybe even also insist that he rode in a headcollar and ropes for a while (safe horse obviously) until he had got his own balance and wasn't hanging on the horse's mouth. Same as with any novice rider really, but especially with a larger person.

(comes from a larger person but with a bit more of an idea as to how to carry oneself than a novice :) )
 
I would happily let a bloke ride my horse - I'm trying to buy one to share with my husband!

Having said that I think he may struggle to find a share as a man. Lots of people are really quite prissy about the weight they will let their horse carry, and men often get unfairly discriminated against in the horse world. My DH has had shares in the past and talks about having been made to feel VERY uncomfortable on a yard full of women.

I think I'd try to find him a riding school that is a bit more sympathetic on the weight front so that he can get his riding to a better stage as finding a share that is a weight carrier will be difficult but a weight carrier suitable for a novice with an owner who doesn't mind a novice sharer will be a job and a half. When he is more experienced it will be easier. Suggest he trains for his stage one or horse owners certificate to get some stable management experience, and improve his riding.

When he has more experience if he hasn't managed to find a share he could consider buying or loaning and keeping his horse at a supportive full livery yard where it can be schooled and exercised for him if he can't ride every day. A good hunting yard offering hunting livery might be just the job for him when his riding is up to it.
 
artysteph said:
What an odd question! Why would it make a difference if it is a novice male?? Im not at all trying to be rude! I just done understand why you think people wouldnt let a man ride their horse? Am I missing the point? :)
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As you aren't a man you may not realise what it is like. Going from what my DH has said men in the world of horses are often treated with suspicion.

Apprently a man in Jodhpurs is either a pervert or a paedo or gay and is not to be trusted. All women on livery yards should ensure that they treat him like a leaper. Their husbands should remember at all times that he is likely to steal their wives away with his riding skills because that is the only reason he rides, riding is for sissies so why else would a straight man do it. All parents should avoid eye contact, converstaion and getting too close, riding is for kids the only reason a man rides is to get close to kids.

Seriously, DH has been on several yards as a riding school client, sharer and staff member and has been treated with open hostility and rudeness. The riding school he is at now is fine for him as a client as there are quite a few men and boys that have lessons there, but when he worked weekends there the parents were a nightmare.

Now we are looking for a horse and he is really worried about having to be on a livery yard.
 
Have to say that in 46 years of riding my gender has never been an issue (male).
Only comment I've received is that I dont "ride like a man". Still not quite sure how to take that but asssume it was a compliment.
 
just for all your amusement here is a horrendous case of pony squashing - my boyfriend on my little newforest :) Pony is 13.2, boyf is 6ft+ and prob about 12 stone or so.

He doesnt ride but since we've been together he has made such an effort to help me with the horses and has got very attached to this little one :) He was desperate to have a go bless him! For the sake of the pony I have only let him have a little sit on him a couple of times in WALK only :) Pony doesnt seem to mind though and boyf loves it!! If i had the right horse i wouldnt mind if sharer was male or female personally!!

Would love to get my other boy back off loan so me and boyf can hack together - although bigger pony bit of an idiot so would probably have to ride him myself!! hehe :)

philandb.jpg
 
Whereabouts in Surrey is he?

Chessington equestrian centre have quite a few weight carriers, they do hirelings for the SU hunt as well.

When I was a teenager, I shared a man's horse - he had money, but not much time, and loved to hunt. Over winter he hunted once a week and in summer he showjumped once a week - I had the horse the rest of the time and kept him hunting fit (he owned him). It worked perfectly well.

If he has some money to spare, he could go down this route. Though if he's already trying to cut costs, this may not be the best solution!
 
Katt said:
As you aren't a man you may not realise what it is like. Going from what my DH has said men in the world of horses are often treated with suspicion.

Apprently a man in Jodhpurs is either a pervert or a paedo or gay and is not to be trusted. All women on livery yards should ensure that they treat him like a leaper. Their husbands should remember at all times that he is likely to steal their wives away with his riding skills because that is the only reason he rides, riding is for sissies so why else would a straight man do it. All parents should avoid eye contact, converstaion and getting too close, riding is for kids the only reason a man rides is to get close to kids.

Seriously, DH has been on several yards as a riding school client, sharer and staff member and has been treated with open hostility and rudeness. The riding school he is at now is fine for him as a client as there are quite a few men and boys that have lessons there, but when he worked weekends there the parents were a nightmare.

Now we are looking for a horse and he is really worried about having to be on a livery yard.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How hilarious I am laughing my socks off!
No, I am not a Man, granted. :D
But, I am married to a stud groom who, when I met him 20 yrs ago was a male of 17, on a livery yard full of women and girls. He has ALWAYS fitted in is certainly never accused of being a kiddy fiddler, gay or a wife stealer!!!!! He nearly PHSL when I read that out, as he cant say he has ever been treated in that way. He began a horse career as a trekking leader/groom, to a showjumping yard, to a breaking yard, to compete for himself, and now works on a Newmarket Stud. Granted, he isnt a novice, but people ask him to ride their horses all the time.
If that is the reaction your DH gets then its a real shame :( but cant say we have ever had that reaction! Perhaps my OH is just comfortable around horsey women and they around him. And we have been on several livery yards and he ran his own for a bit too.
I would also have a male sharer as long as he was right for my horse, and my horse for him, not a problem. I know other horse'men' on livery yards who are equally comfortable.
 
I regularly let a 14 odd stone man ride 'my' horse! OH part owns 'my' horse so rides him too. I'd not have a problem with it either if horse and man were suited.

OH has found in the past that quite a few riding schools won't take him either cos he's a bit over the magical 14 stones :(

ETS: OH has never been treated with any suspicion at riding school, livery yard, shows etc. He is a bit self conscious about wandering round in breeches outside of a horsey environment though - he wouldn't dream of going straight to the supermarket from the yard - insists in getting changed first LOL
 
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Katt said:
As you aren't a man you may not realise what it is like. Going from what my DH has said men in the world of horses are often treated with suspicion.

Apprently a man in Jodhpurs is either a pervert or a paedo or gay and is not to be trusted. All women on livery yards should ensure that they treat him like a leaper. Their husbands should remember at all times that he is likely to steal their wives away with his riding skills because that is the only reason he rides, riding is for sissies so why else would a straight man do it. All parents should avoid eye contact, converstaion and getting too close, riding is for kids the only reason a man rides is to get close to kids.

Seriously, DH has been on several yards as a riding school client, sharer and staff member and has been treated with open hostility and rudeness. The riding school he is at now is fine for him as a client as there are quite a few men and boys that have lessons there, but when he worked weekends there the parents were a nightmare.

Now we are looking for a horse and he is really worried about having to be on a livery yard.
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Oh my god, what yards have u been on!
We have 2 guys at my yard, who own 4 horses between them, they'd be in hysterics reading this. They dont get treated any differently to anyone else, they are just one of the liveries.
Previous yard also male horse owners, again treated no differently, yard prior to that again male owners and again no issues.

I have never come across this attitude to guys who have horses x
 
Katt said:
As you aren't a man you may not realise what it is like. Going from what my DH has said men in the world of horses are often treated with suspicion.

Apprently a man in Jodhpurs is either a pervert or a paedo or gay and is not to be trusted. All women on livery yards should ensure that they treat him like a leaper. Their husbands should remember at all times that he is likely to steal their wives away with his riding skills because that is the only reason he rides, riding is for sissies so why else would a straight man do it. All parents should avoid eye contact, converstaion and getting too close, riding is for kids the only reason a man rides is to get close to kids.

Seriously, DH has been on several yards as a riding school client, sharer and staff member and has been treated with open hostility and rudeness. The riding school he is at now is fine for him as a client as there are quite a few men and boys that have lessons there, but when he worked weekends there the parents were a nightmare.

Now we are looking for a horse and he is really worried about having to be on a livery yard.
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What a great reply :D really gave me a laugh, now I am a bloke with a horse on a yard of 20 or so women and if any want proof I'm not gay they only have to ask ;) but back on topic I do think commitment is the key point. It is a lot of hard work looking after a horse properly, but not a chore and I love every bit of it. My horse is my best mate as well as being a working animal, we have many chats in the stable and I'm sure he understands me.

As to being treated at arms length by the girls, I have found them to be quite the opposite and all very friendly ( mainly when things want fixing or lifting ;) ) and full of good advice. With the weight issue you just need to consider what you want to do and ride the right horse, I am just under 15 stone and my boy is 17.1hh ID x ISH and has no problem with my weight !! not that he has said yet :D

Kev
 
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