Would you tell your friend she's too heavy for her horses?

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scarymare

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As above really. I can't be more specific in case she is reading this but honestly its just getting worse and worse. One is a 14.2 MW black cob but the newby youngster is 15 hands chunky body but very little bone. I'm tempted (as she looks after them so very well - they want for nothing) to do nothing, would you all agree (she is probably a size 20 around 5 foot 5).
 
Depends how much I value the friendship I guess.

At 20 stone you'd hope she had the common sense to realise tbh.
 
Not much really, pleasure riding, 60cm jumping etc, newby only backed for 3 months. I wouldn't like to hazard a guess at what she weighs but I do value the friendship.
 
You may find others will do the job for you if you are lucky. At that size she will stand out on a small horse whose not a weight carrier.

I wouldn't want to upset her tbh but maybe she'll have some issues that are weight related and you could suggest something at the time.

Difficult one as its a personal issue.
 
The reason I ask is that if she is a balanced and light rider then I'm sure she will be doing no harm. If the horses aren't buckling under her weight or trying to chuck her off then I'm sure she is fine.

Clothe sizes are a minefield I think, as people can look a lot heavier than they are because of their shape, short and dumpy whereas, someone who is a lot taller and slimmer looking could be heavier.

Personally from your comments I can't see a problem with the size of her to the horses that she rides and if they aren't suffering and aren't TBs then let her get on with it.

If there is a welfare issue then say something, if not don't, you'll only end up really upsetting your friend and perhaps losing her forever.
 
I'd struggle but I have a friend, also a YO, who has no problem telling people if they are putting weight on, or too heavy for their horses. Everyone she has made comment to is usually fine with her doing it, she told me a year ago that I was putting too much weight on, I was so it helped me lose the stone I needed. She does it in a way that is not infensive and now we have jokes with each other that if we get a chocolate bisbuit with our coffee when we're at the yard she must be happy with the weight we are. If it was me I'd prefer if my friends told me if I was putting on more weight so I could do something about it.
 
I used to ride at a RS with a weight limit (not a high one, most men were over it). If there was any doubt about a person's weight then they were told it wasn't fair on the horses for them to ride. Any quibbles were easily solved by a set of scales. If you hopped on them in full riding gear (inc. hat etc) the dial had to be bellow the max. I never saw anyone get upset because it was so objective.

Obviously it is a bit harder with someone's own horse. If your friend has put the weight on recently perhaps ask if she'll be giving the horses sometime off/walking out in hand/long-lining until she is back to her slimmer self? Walking out with them will help both her and them get fitter. Maybe suggest going together?

Or perhaps take the cowardly way out and ask YM/an instructor you both know to have a word to get the 'objectivity' thing?
 
PS or maybe find, either on here or another website/in a book/somewhere one of those formulas about how much a horse is supposed to be able to carry based on its own weight and so forth?

Then you could work out what yours and hers would be happy with 'just for fun'... might make her think twice if she really cares for them and has an idea about her own shape.
 
just be careful as you cant tell much from how people look at when i weigh 11 stone im a size 8 and im only 5,7 and equaliy im a size 20 at 14 stone or 18 stone i dont understand it but thats how my body shape works and also as you can tell i have issues with fluxuating weigh lol :o

my 16 hh weight carrying mare doesnt care what i weigh

id surgest just keep an eye on it and maybe suggest she checks her saddle fits as it is really improtant if she is heavier. and maybe suggest she gets an extra back check done with the youngster so she doesnt do any perminant damage
 
Tricky but I would leave well alone. A heavier rider who is able to ride in balance with their horse causes much less of a problem than a lighter rider who is not in good balance, especially if they rely heavily on their hands.

Most horses can carry more weight than we give them credit for.
 
eggs said:
Tricky but I would leave well alone. A heavier rider who is able to ride in balance with their horse causes much less of a problem than a lighter rider who is not in good balance, especially if they rely heavily on their hands.

Most horses can carry more weight than we give them credit for.
Click to expand...

Actually I agree with that. I wouldn't dream of riding my Sec A pony but apparently they used to carry the farmers all over the hills. I guess sometime over history our views on whats acceptable and whats not have changed.
 
You only have to watch the world equestrian games western videos to realise we worry far too much - especially on this forum - about weight. There are some bloody enormous fat men riding QH's, plus their heavy western saddles. I am 5'11, my bust size means I need a size 18. My trouser size is 14. I do not consider myself too heavy for my 16.3 TB, at 13.5 stone.

I used to see a really, really fat girl at dressage comps. She was riding a very fine appy. She did not look a pretty picture, but that horse looked entirely happy and relaxed and consistently did a soft and willing test.
 
Quite frankly, it is none of your business and she is likely to not be your friend for very much longer if you do tell her!
 
I think unless the horses were obviously struggling to carry her then i'd be tempted to leave well alone. If you can find a formula for what weight horses can carry (not sure where from?) and tactfully drop it into conversation ( i found this really interesting article today...) she may think about it and do something if she really is too big for them. As others have said though, i think most can carry more that we give them credit for, especially if the rider is well balanced and carrying herself rather than sat there being a passenger. I was (still am sometimes) really paranoid that i'm too big for my youngster as she was so small as a filly but she's now 15.2hh and i'm 5'5'' & just under 10.5 stone i dont worry quite as much. :D
 
eggs said:
Tricky but I would leave well alone. A heavier rider who is able to ride in balance with their horse causes much less of a problem than a lighter rider who is not in good balance, especially if they rely heavily on their hands.

Most horses can carry more weight than we give them credit for.
Click to expand...

Fully agree...... no-one likes a weight conversation, even between friends!!
 
I'm in similar situation and haven't been able to! Her horse is 26 too but doesn't seem to struggle!If I thought horse was uncomfortable I would but at the moment I'm hoping someone else will!
 
Thanks everyone. I was actually with her on a lesson 2 years ago and she asked the instructor if her weight was making her horse lazy. The instructor replied that it certainly wasnt helping. However things have got alot worse weight wise since then. She is such a special person that tbh I think I'll leave it, just too hurtful.
 
it's such a difficult topic for so many people.
Yes, horses can carry excess weight without complaining. They do so every day.
Is it good for them, long term?
Of course not!!!
For anyone aware of back issues, it's obvious - but many people don't want to think about it.
Personally I couldn't help but tell my friend - I hate watching a bad back develop. It can take years to show and is a real welfare issue.
ps. Shoot the messenger if you want to:confused:
 
On the other side of the coin, I wish someone had told me I was too heavy for my lad!!! It was only when I saw photo's from a XC comp that I thought 'jeez who's that fat bird on that poor cob'...and I realised it was me!!!!:o

So 3 1/2 stone later and I have a horse that obviously is ALOT happier to let me get on and I know he's more than capable of carrying my 'normal' weight now.
 
No.

Not unless they asked, if they asked and I did think they were too heavy then yes I'd be honest and tell them, I'd rather them know and it come from a friend than have people talking about them behind their backs and sniggering, if I was in that position, I'd prefer to someone to tell me then let me think otherwise.

But it really depends on how weighty they are, I can't honestly say I've ever come across anyone ride a pony/horse that is clearly too big (weight wise) apart from clips on you tube, or someone just having a 2 minute go on pony for the laugh.

Obviously there are a few people out there, perhaps their weight has crept on and therefore become a bit too hefty, again if that was me, I'd rather a good friend tell so I'm aware and can do something about it. :)

But I think in your case, I'd let her instructor tell her if she really is too big that is.
 
Kenzo said:
No.

Not unless they asked, if they asked and I did think they were too heavy then yes I'd be honest and tell them, I'd rather them know and it come from a friend than have people talking about them behind their backs and sniggering, if I was in that position, I'd prefer to someone to tell me then let me think otherwise.
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^^^^this
 
Sometimes people benefit from a bit of a jolt;I lost five stone as it was really too much for my 15.1 cob,she is not a heavy traditional type but classed as a lightweight for showing.
One friend who has balloned in weight was clambering aboard her,and I did enquire if she`d weighed herself lately.The pained expression on my mare`s face meant I felt the weight unfair,the mare cannot speak out for herself..but I can and will!
 
ozpoz said:
it's such a difficult topic for so many people.
Yes, horses can carry excess weight without complaining. They do so every day.
Is it good for them, long term?
Of course not!!!
For anyone aware of back issues, it's obvious - but many people don't want to think about it.
Personally I couldn't help but tell my friend - I hate watching a bad back develop. It can take years to show and is a real welfare issue.
ps. Shoot the messenger if you want to:confused:
Click to expand...

I agree with this. Most good natured horses will not complain until it is too late and the damage is done. It is a fallacy that a horse will look as though it is struggling or throw a rider off if they're too heavy. Most horses are too well behaved to do this and just suffer. A horse usually has to be in severe pain before it will throw a rider if it is not just being naughty or exhuberant.
 
One accepted measure of maximum weight a horse can carry is up to a sixth of their own weight (including tack). That means that most 14.2 hh ponies should not be carrying more than around 11.5 stone.
 
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