Would you want to be told or is this interfering ?

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Jaffa

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Pony at yard has a sharer. They are novices but have shared pony for about a year, owner not riding ATM but involved daily for horses care.

Tonight pony was on one, he was a bit wound up and they brought him out to tack up, he was on a very long line tied up so he was swinging everywhere, girl and her parent where trying to put his saddle on but were jumping back quite frightened when pony was swinging the saddle fell off TWICE and hit the hard concrete. This saddle is brand new. I just went up at this point (15 mins this pony was doing the dance) tied him up short and said "Try now." I held his head collar as they put the saddle on, he tried to swing once and his rider jumped away. The parent was very "flappy" and making lots of "ooh isn't he a naughty boy" but eventually they got the girth done up.

Time for the bridle, head collar was taken off him as she looped reins over his head and he stood still, however he turned to look at something (only his head) and girl jumps away again dropping the bridle so pony only has reins around his neck and bridle is on the floor. He realises he's fre and walks off ! They then start pleading with him to stand still. Between them it takes 5 minutes of poking\folding his ears to get his bridle on. He was getting quite pissed off with them.

Now we all have to start somewhere but the fact the saddle slid off made me quite shocked, I would want to know if it was my horse !! Should I say I helped or leave it alone ?

Consequently they asked to share my horse not 2 months ago for the parents to ride and after what I saw today I'm bloody glad I said no !
 
I'd want to know. Maybe just suggest to the owner that you have seen they are struggling to tack up and maybe she could give them a few helpful pointers?
 
I think it depends on how you tell TBH.

Something along the lines of "you will NEVER guess what your silly sharer did!" is both interfering and mean, however a chat that lets the owners know their sharer is struggling in some aspects and could use a kindly helping hand for a bit is going to do all involved the world of good.

Sounds like the sharer is having a bit of a crisis in confidence caused by their own inexperience,a gentle nudge in the right direction will clear that up :)
 
I think if you went straight up to the owner you might be accused of interfering but at the same time of I were the owner I would want to know. It sounds like maybe the pony is a bit much for them. Its a bit sneaky but if I were in your shoes I think I would drop it into conversation with the owner like you assumed she knew. It is a tricky situation but really you have to do whats best for the pony
 
I would want someone who saw this to tell me straight.
What I then do as the owner is up to me.
I would be mortified if this was happening and I didn't know about it like the above poster said drop it into conversation. Along the lines of. Is your saddle ok after the other day? Something like that to open up the conversation.
 
I would want to know in case the saddle had been damaged in any way. The owner probably wouldn't think to check for a broken or twisted tree if they don't know it had been dropped twice. I think the suggestion to mention that the sharers may need some pointers is a good idea. Again if it was my pony I'd rather spend some time with them to ensure the whole experience was nicer for the sharers and the pony.
 
Sounds like they are having a crises of confidence due to lack of experience and things could easily get worse. If it were my horse I would want to know.
 
I would definitely want to know if my saddle had been dropped and would be grateful if a fellow livery informed me! Besides, it really sounds that these sharers might need some help and a boost of confidence.
 
I think I too would want to know.

Having said that, they clearly don't understand how all of the flapping affects the horse. Maybe she needs a lesson in tacking up from her riding school/instructor.

Wouldn't write her off just yet, she's only a kid and maybe the parent isn't horsey so just doesn't know.

You could speak to the owner but mention that you think they need a bit of help with him to get their basics sorted?

Ax
 
I too would want to know.
When I left home at 17 for a live in job my mum arranged for her friend to ride my horse until
I was able to get him with me. My beautiful saddle got dropped or something and the tree was broken. They continued to ride him for a few weeks and I admit I rode him a few times when he came too me. I felt awful, speaking to someone on the yard a similar thing happened the first time this girl rode.
I wish someone had told me!
 
I would definitely want to know, so that I could step in and offer a bit of help and support if nothing else. I've had sharers for years and sometimes you do need to give them a helping hand. Nothing wrong with that as long as you approach it in a tactful and diplomatic way.
 
I would definitely want to know!!!

Tack is bloody expensive, and it is bad enough when you do something stupid yourself to damage it, let alone a sharer/loaner. I would also want to know for the sake of my horse (both because I wouldn't want him getting into bad habits, nor the tack to be ill fitting and making him sore if it is now damaged).

Everyone does have to start somewhere, but it sounds as though they need some help and guidance in handling horses and understanding the importance of groundwork and manners. As the owner, if I was not riding I would be happy to help support them with this, but first and foremost welfare of my horse comes first!
 
If it was me as others have said I would want to know. Just have a quiet word with the owner and just explain that they seem to be having a few problems and perhaps they could just give them a bit of help in certain areas. I would be pleased that you had taken the time to speak to me. Also if you are around and they seem to be having a problem, perhaps you could offer to give them a hand and a few pointers.
 
I would 100% want to know. Can't you explain to the YO and get her to speak to her/mention it? Put it in her court. Would save the awkwardness.
 
I would want to know, not just so that I could check the saddle but it sounds as though they are struggling and long term that could cause problems with the pony's behaviour. Sounds as though they could do with some practical help and advice on behaving calmly around horses.
 
i would want to know but it would depend on how well i knew the person telling me (and what that person is normally like) as to how i would want it told to me.
if it was a friend who i get on well with then just say it and we can try figure something out before i spoke to the sharer, if it was someone i only spoke to in passing then maybe sit down over a cuppa and they just mention it, no point saying "i don't mean to interfere" or anything like that (not with me anyway!) as i think that if someone says that they are meaning to interfere. that's just the way i am though.
if it was the yard busy body who "liked" pulling people into line then i would probably tell them to get on with doing their own horse and leave the sharers to it (thinking they were doing usual things) but i would also mention to the sharers that i heard they had a bit of a problem when tacking it.

personally i would say it's more a case of how the owner speaks to the sharer more than how you told the owner. if the owner is quick to fly off the handle then word it carefully but if the owner is an easy going person then just say it and hopefully the owner will guide the sharers.
 
I too would mention the saddle to the owner as it's in the pony's interests for the saddle to be checked. If the people have been sharing the pony for a year, do they usually have problems or are they generally ok ? Surely, the owner must know how competent or incompetent they are.
I'd probably do as you did, offer help if needed and just be generally friendly so they felt confident to approach for help in future.
 
I would want to know. Apart from the saddle/tree issue, if nothing is said this ponies behaviour will just be allowed to get out of hand with the sharers, which could lead to an accident somewhere along the line if they are as unconfident/jumpy as they sound.
 
I would want to know, and would have perhaps also suggested the sharers let the owner know the saddle has been dropped, as it can cause serious damage. I also think the dropping of the bridle could have caused problems if it had caused the pony to panic.

Hopefully the owner could give them a bit more support for a while so they become a bit more confident tacking up and handling the pony.
 
I once saw some things going on with a sharer that I really didn't like. I simply told the owner that having observed the sharer several times that I wouldn't be willing to share my horse with them. She trusted my judgement and got rid. You must speak up.
 
I would want to know, but I also know from my own experience, that horses reacting to having saddles put on, even if they were fitted a couple of months ago, usually means there is a problem.

This then translates to being bridled.

I know this because my own horse who has his saddle regularly fitted, started being aright PITA about being tacked up.

I listened, and got another saddle, which hands up, I have yet to get a saddler to check, but miraculously, he is now standing to have that saddle put on instead of moving from side to side, and the bridle is no longer a problem either.

Sometimes there is a bigger picture.
 
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