WWYD cat vs partner....

[Wozpril]

Ok, not a horsey post, but my partner doesn't come on here and I need opinions!
Wwyd if your partner, well fiancé hated your cat?
He pretends to like him but actually really hates him!
Now to be fair, I do love my cat to the point of being a bit obsessional about him, but he's been really ill in the past, and needs looking after. Also it probably doesn't help that the cat loves me too, he follows me around waiting for me to sit down so he can have a cuddle, pushes things off of my lap, so he can have a cuddle, meows loudly when he comes in the house to check I'm there..... You get the picture!
He also comes up to have a scratch and cuddles at various times during the night.
My partner just about copes with the rest, but he really hates this! He's taken to chucking the cat off the bed when he thinks I'm asleep.
I love having the cat on the bed .... Occasionally he sneaks under the duvet .... And am a bit miffed that he doesn't.
I mean, who finds a little purring cat offensive?
It may not help that the cat purrs quite loudly and then sucks the end of his tail making quite loud slurping noises...
But. The point is, I'm used to it! It doesn't bother me.
Will partner ever accept it? Or are we dooooommed....!!!!
The wedding's in a few months so I need advice quick! Lol
(Disclaimer, post is ob tongue in cheek, but would still like your thoughts . )

 

[RLS]

chuck the fiance, marry the cat.

 

[Montyforever]

Ditto rls ^

 

[noblesteed]

My fiance didn't like my horse, they really don't get on at all. But I still married my fiance and still have my horse!

 

[tallyho!]

If you love someone, then surely a cat cannot come in the way... if you are having to ask then the human relationship is doomed.

I mean... how could any woman choose a man over a cat???!!!!

 

[Wagtail]

I think there is a compromise here. The cat does not HAVE to sleep on your bed, and I don't blame your OH for disliking this. I love animals. All kinds of animals. I have lap dogs that I love nursing on my lap, but do I let them on my bed when I want to go to sleep? No way! My husband and two sons do. But I have my own room that is dog free. (Hubby and I sleep separately because we have a much better nights sleep that way. Maybe this is an option for you? It does not have to mean the end of romance and hanky panky )

 

[WelshD]

I agree with keeping the cat out of the bedroom

The cat doesnt have to come in to the bedroom. If you can provide one guaranteed cat-free space your OH may feel better about things

Beyond that I wouldnt pander to the OH, its not like he is badly allergic to it or anything

He needs to choose his battles, when (god forbid) later on you have no cat you can have the discussion about a new one but this one is here and now and I wouldnt rehome it for my OH

 

[CobsGalore]

I think a compromise has to be made - you agree to keep the cat out of your bed, if your fiance agrees to give the cat a second chance!

If that doesn't work... ditch the hubby, cats are way better

 

[Catcus]

I let me old cat sleep on the bed as he slept quietly out of the way, but current one is banned from bedroom cos he insists on sleeping on legs and waking us up constantly. I can understand where your OH is coming from, I love my cat but getting a rubbish sleep nightly due to him is just not on.

 

[Suelin]

Ditch the fiance. Wouldn't hesitate.

 

[ebonyallen]

I do not think that you should have to get rid of the cat, but as others have said perhaps keep it out of the bedroom. I asume that you had the cat before you met your partner so he really should accept that the cat is part of you and what you are, if you take away the cat which is a big part of your life then he has not got the real you. Good luck with it and I really do hope that you can sort something out that you both agree on.

 

[Copperpot]

I don't like cats so would get rid of it

 

[risky business]

Not a cat, but my ex partner didn't mind the dog but he hated her on the bed at night.

I thought that was fair enough as she does snore and lays in the way, I may of been used to it but it meant he got a bad sleep.. So the dog when he was over had the run of the rest of the house and she didnt suffer for it.

I would just keep the cat out the room, I think not having him in the room at night isn't really a big deal .

 

[Elsiecat]

I think family counselling is a route that you should consider.

 

[basilbrush2009]

I was in a similar situation with my partner, he didnt very much like my dog, big hairy slobbery disobedient hyper golden retreiver, AKA my beautiful baby boy he previously slept on the bed, sofa... basically whereever i was, he was, well i put my foot down, no way im getting rid of him but, did compromise on the bed thing, and did brush him more regularly to minimise hairs dropping and now my BF loves him, (although he would never ever admit it) dog is also much more obedient...

It can work little compromises then hopefully your other half will start to see what you see in your lovely kitty

 

[Bigginge]

Have you had your partner's back, teeth and saddle checked? This is probably what is making him bad tempered. I would definitely make him go barefoot too, I haven't looked back since taking my boyfriend's shoes off him. Are you being consistent with his boundaries? if he pushes your cat off the bed again then growl at him, followed by a sharp no.

 

[Floofball]

Have you had your partner's back, teeth and saddle checked? This is probably what is making him bad tempered. I would definitely make him go barefoot too, I haven't looked back since taking my boyfriend's shoes off him. Are you being consistent with his boundaries? if he pushes your cat off the bed again then growl at him, followed by a sharp no.

^^^ ^^^

 

[Scotslad23]

Compromise and have a cat free bedroom. We dont let the cats in the bedroom at night and we insist our mid week lodger never lets them sleep in his room either.

You do need to explain how you feel though rather than bottle it up. I think you can easily achieve and compromise here and have the best of both worlds

 

[maree t]

has he got some siamese in him ?.
i had a siamese cross that was my cat before I met OH. They hated each other until the day I lost him.
He would stroll in and pee on his leg, he would sleep in the bed with his back against me and just push OH away with his paws. He used to wake up and throw him out of the bed so Kato used to just wait until he went to sleep and then sneak back in. I am a bit of an insomniac so welcomed the company. I dont let the dogs on the bed and the current cats dont tend to sleep with us but the door is open.

 

[cheeryplatypus]

I guess it depends who you want in your bed more...OH or cat!

 

[Dogrose]

Our only compromise is no cats in the bedroom at night, anything else would be a total deal breaker, no one gets between me and my cats. I wouldn't want anyone that intolerant in my life anyway.

 

[touchstone]

If you love someone, then surely a cat cannot come in the way... if you are having to ask then the human relationship is doomed.

I mean... how could any woman choose a man over a cat???!!!!

Omg - this!

 

[Carefreegirl]

Have you had your partner's back, teeth and saddle checked? This is probably what is making him bad tempered. I would definitely make him go barefoot too, I haven't looked back since taking my boyfriend's shoes off him. Are you being consistent with his boundaries? if he pushes your cat off the bed again then growl at him, followed by a sharp no.

ULCERS - you forgot ulcers

 

[lazybee]

I don't like cats so would get rid of it

^^ Like^^ It's a known fact that all cats are vermin. You're saying you let vermin in and on your bed???????????? disgusting. Your fiancee is normal for not wanting mangy, flea ridden, tail slurping (gagging here) vermin on the bed.

 

[Supertrooper]

OH is more soppy over the cat than I am in our household, cat sleeps on the bed with us but neither of us mind. However if it really bothered one of us then we'd shut him out.

If this is the main thing that is upsetting your OH about the cat then that's what I'd do TBH xx

 

[FfionWinnie]

I would chuck him over it all apart from the cat on the bed thing. That is ridiculous and I'd be throwing the cat off whether you were asleep or not! Shut the cat out the bedroom.

 

[amandaco2]

Does the cat suck your other halfs tail...;
Cat sounds adorable. Keep the cat defo.

 

[Bubbles]

Now to be fair, I do love my cat to the point of being a bit obsessional about him, but he's been really ill in the past, and needs looking after. Also it probably doesn't help that the cat loves me too, he follows me around waiting for me to sit down so he can have a cuddle, pushes things off of my lap, so he can have a cuddle, meows loudly when he comes in the house to check I'm there..... You get the picture!
He also comes up to have a scratch and cuddles at various times during the night.
My partner just about copes with the rest, but he really hates this! He's taken to chucking the cat off the bed when he thinks I'm asleep.
I love having the cat on the bed .... Occasionally he sneaks under the duvet .... And am a bit miffed that he doesn't.
I mean, who finds a little purring cat offensive?
It may not help that the cat purrs quite loudly and then sucks the end of his tail making quite loud slurping noises...

Oh dear, it sounds as if you and your puss cat might have dependency issues - he's too reliant on you! It's nice for them to be that attentive, but I bet it's making him anxious. My three have the run of the house, at night we sometimes have two on the bed, they're allowed to stay as long as they're quiet and they're not in the way stopping us from sleeping properly. Otherwise they get pushed off Waking you up for a scratch or a cuddle in the night, no wonder your OH is miffed. My big boy is allowed to get in my side with me, IF he creeps on quietly and doesn't wake me up (he doesn't, he's learned). The tail sucking would bother me, especially from a behavioural point of view.
I'd be careful shutting him out of the bedroom if he's used to being given free reign, if he's already anxious, he might start toileting inappropriately...

 

[alainax]

As the others have said, compromise. No cat in the bed at night.

I have two darling little monsters who would do anything to get the bed at night, but its just a no no.

He should never ask you to get rid of the cat though. Ive been in that situation before, bf is no more and I still have the cat

 

[Star_Chaser]

my pets have always come first over OH even hubby but then they have been there before the relationship started, picked up the pieces when it finished and welcomed the next one so on the face of their performance over that of the OH's??? pets win hands down Compromise of booting cat out of the bedroom though is acceptable none of mine are allowed upstairs anyway.