wwyd dilemma

cptrayes said:
Says a heck of a lot about your relationship if you really would force your OH to continue living with your parents for the sake of an old unrideable horse. Takes all sorts :)
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I often find myself thinking this when I come on here!

OP, she's a horse, she won't have any idea about it. There are many worse fates than a bullet. If you do decide that is what you have to do then don't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure she has had a nice life with you and it is quality not quantity which matters.

I certainly wouldn't hesitate in your position to PTS. Sorry if that offends people but I wouldn't even question my decision!
 
The OH is happy for me to keep her but we both want to move out and its not fair on him especially as im not enjoying it anymore x
 
Parisexx said:
Pts is what I have been thinking, obviously id feel horrendously guilty and my partner thinks id regret it x[/have you tried to find a way of keeping her as cheaply as possible? I only ask as you seem unsure about pts right now, not that I think it would be the wrong choice but I think you have to be sure about it, there will be people that think its wrong but at the end of the day its nothing to do with them.
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in an ideal world yes we would keep all our horses to they take their last breathe naturally but sadly it is not and sometimes circumstances can reflect in our decisions. OP if you cant secure her future PTS.Be there for her at end. And ,i say this from personal expetience, hold no guilt(though if like me you will :( ). she is an aged mare wth athritis and with the equine situation in saturation state yes you may find a companion hime but personally you will struggle to rehome. Far far worse can happen to her than PTS. Reality of life sometimes gives us hard decisions. hugs x x
 
Parisexx said:
Thank u haffiesrock, put it across better than me. I have lost the love of horses unfortunately but still care enough for the mare that she cannot b sold as she will end up god knows where x
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Ignore the people on here preaching to you. You need to do what is best for you and your future and the fact you care enough about the mare to make a decision on her welfare is to your credit. It would be very easy to offer her free to a good home and pass her over to the first taker. You don't want to do this so I would give you vet or local hunt a call and make some arrangements for her to go over rainbow bridge. In this case, it is the kindest thing for all involved. x
 
Foxy O said:
My husband and I bought a house with land so I can keep the horses at home as he knows how important they are to me and I have a feeling they are growing on him as well as he can't walk past them without making a fuss of them, the pony is only a companion and not ridden but when I go out riding my husband takes the pony for walks or makes a fuss of him
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You bought a house with land?

How many people do you think can afford that option????????????

Certainly not an option for this poster. Knowing that, do you still think she should force her OH to continue to live with her parents for the sake of an old infirm horse?
 
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OP you have 2 options.

1.) try and find someone else to take this mare on, knowing that once you do there is nothing to stop her ending up having an uncertain future, ending up who knows where and in who knows what state. Yes you might luckily find someone genuine to take her but you don't know that until it's too late. I know I wouldn't take the risk with such an old, unrideable horse.

2.) have her pts knowing she went without realising a thing and that you have secured her future and know she will never ever end up in the wrong hands.

I know which I'd pick, but essentially those are your options. In a nutshell.
 
Even if you kept her cheaply, at the end of the day you are still having to put the time into looking after her.

There is no shame in having an elderly pony whose future would be uncertain with a new owner PTS. Just make sure her final days are in comfort, and be with her at the end.

If you had come on here saying you were giving her away as a companion you would also have people telling you that's wrong. It's easily said if they aren't in your shoes.

Good luck.
 
Actually wasn't preaching to parisexx who said nothing in her original post about pts, but to the others who all just jump on the band wagon of they are a tie, get rid. They are a tie. I do not live with my mum, but would do so if I needed to for my girlie. I do feel she is a heck of a burden, but that doesn't give me the right to pts. My mare is actually on meds for her arthritis and I myself am a physio, so know better than most what it is like for the horse and how a life in a field will be perfectly fine for her. I do understand the dilemma, but unfortunately don't think pts is fair on the mare to make your life easier. There is a place in devon that takes horses for retirement. The lady does all the looking after and it is cheaper for this service than most DIY places. Don't know if this is maybe a good option for you? The horse will be looked after in herd turnout for the rest of her days and given a graceful end when the time is right for her rather than you. I can get details for you if you are interested in giving her a call.
 
crazyhorse37 said:
Actually wasn't preaching to parisexx who said nothing in her original post about pts, but to the others who all just jump on the band wagon of they are a tie, get rid. They are a tie. I do not live with my mum, but would do so if I needed to for my girlie. I do feel she is a heck of a burden, but that doesn't give me the right to pts. My mare is actually on meds for her arthritis and I myself am a physio, so know better than most what it is like for the horse and how a life in a field will be perfectly fine for her. I do understand the dilemma, but unfortunately don't think pts is fair on the mare to make your life easier. There is a place in devon that takes horses for retirement. The lady does all the looking after and it is cheaper for this service than most DIY places. Don't know if this is maybe a good option for you? The horse will be looked after in herd turnout for the rest of her days and given a graceful end when the time is right for her rather than you. I can get details for you if you are interested in giving her a call.
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That's nice that you are happy to put your poor mother out to look after a horse.

I know what my Mother would say if I said I was moving back home due to some insane need to keep an elderly, arthritic horse going. It wouldn't be polite!

I eat animals, I refuse to be sentimental over a horse and give it special status. If I will eat a lamb I can certainly PTS a horse if it is unfeasible for me to care for it without seriously damaging my own life/
 
cptrayes said:
You bought a house with land?

How many people do you think can afford that option????????????

Certainly not an option for this poster. Knowing that, do you still think she should force her OH to continue to live with her parents for the sake of an old infirm horse?
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Many people have a house with land. Why the surprise. Makes much more financial sense than paying livery for years on end with nothing to show for it.

As for the OP I don't agree with PTS for convenience sake but if the mare is pain free then I'd personally give her a good last summer and PTS before winter . If you parents are happy to check her it wouldn't hinder your plans to move.
 
OP i agree with the pTS camp....if you cannot afford her pts.... only way to guarantee her future...



for the "buy a house with land" camp...........REALLLY?!!!!!!!!!

i cant even afford to buy a house!!!......never mind one with land!.... i wish!!
 
Work harder then, think outside the box, buy land to self build, buy in a cheap area and move when more financially established . Make sacrifices , second jobs.

I'm s firm believer if you want something badly enough you'll find a way.
 
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I work very hard and have a good income, as does OH, and I can't afford to buy a house with land?! Confused as to how working harder would change this as it wouldn't magically double my salary, just mean I worked a lot of unpaid overtime!
 
BBH said:
Work harder then, think outside the box, buy land to self build, buy in a cheap area and move when more financially established . Make sacrifices , second jobs.

I'm s firm believer if you want something badly enough you'll find a way.
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Its not always that simple BBH and its unfair to claim that it is. I earn good money, OH earns excellent money, we are well off, we own a home but we certainly couldn't afford to buy one with land or we would have by now. Not everyone is as fortunate as others, no matter how hard they work.
 
BBH said:
Work harder then, think outside the box, buy land to self build, buy in a cheap area and move when more financially established . Make sacrifices , second jobs.

I'm s firm believer if you want something badly enough you'll find a way.
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Guessing you pressed send before you meant to as this comment was unfinished when I quoted it. This makes more sense so want to apologise for my comment above
 
People are either the sort to accept their 'lot 'or they aren't .
We live in a society where we are free to become whatever we wish and anyone can make money with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit and vision.
The choice is ours to make.
 
Love said:
Guessing you pressed send before you meant to as this comment was unfinished when I quoted it. This makes more sense so want to apologise for my comment above
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Haha sorry its my iPhone , a bit quick sometimes. Edited for spelling and I still see an s instead of an a
 
BBH said:
People are either the sort to accept their 'lot 'or they aren't .
We live in a society where we are free to become whatever we wish and anyone can make money with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit and vision.
The choice is ours to make.
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ahh but that assumes money is everything. I want a house with land, but I also want to do the job I do as I feel it is very important. So to buy what I want I would have to leave the poorly paid but worthwhile industry I work in. It isn't just a case of work harder, people have to balance things. If we all just chased money the world would be a much poorer place...
 
Buying property these days as a young person starting out isn't easy. I'm 25, and the only friends of mine who have bought a house have done so with help from their parents. I am very fortunate that my nanny left everything between her grandchildren, my friends who aren't so fortunate have got a long slog ahead of them. That includes my friend who is a civil engineer who frequently works 12 hour days and weekends without overtime so he can get his chartered status. If I didn't have the money from my nanny I would never have bought Barry, I would be desperately saving for a house deposit.
 
Is Barry your horse ? Such a cool name.

People who really want something will find a way of getting it. People who just talk about the 9 -5 are not those with the necessary vision and outlook. An entrepreneur will be looking at ways of generating income from other means aswell as salary , ie starting a business on the side.
Even something like buying a big house / land as a group like a commune achieves the goal .
It's just thinking differently .
But as jess says not everyone wants it but those that do will find a way .nothing worth having is easy and I'm not saying it is .
 
BBH said:
We live in a society where we are free to become whatever we wish and anyone can make money with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit and vision.
The choice is ours to make.
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What utterly simplistic and total nonsense, showing no understanding whatsoever of the range of abilities, temperament and personality that are found in the human race.

So you seriously think that anyone on the till at Tesco can choose to become a self made rich entrepreneur, if only they try hard enough??

How utterly insulting to the vast majority of lovely ordinary people In this country.
 
OK lets all calm down............... OP has asked our opinion, she has had enough opinions, now she has to decide what to do, there are few options............
remember when she bought the mare she was only 19 and she did not think she would have a horse for life. We don't all want a horse for life, personally my view was that I would take one on, improve it and then find a more suitable home.
 
CPtrays why can't you add anything of value instead of putting down everyone who says something you don't agree with.
You come across as a miserable old bint.
 
BBH said:
Many people have a house with land. Why the surprise. Makes much more financial sense than paying livery for years on end with nothing to show for it.
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I have a house with land. I know first hand how difficult it was to achieve my dream. It took many changes of job and of location, and many years. Yes, it makes more financial sense than paying livery.

But the OP is needing to stop paying for a horse simply to leave home.

No-one who lives in the real world can think that she will be able to buy a house with land to keep the horse on, can they? Do you have any idea that in this part of the world it adds at least a hundred thousand to the value of a house for it to come with a pony size paddock?

My friend was recently sent details for an ex council semi detached two bed in a less than attractive area with a small paddock and a stable - £275,000 when that house alone would sell at around £100,000.

Your views are unreal BBH.
 
BBH said:
CPtrays why can't you add anything of value instead of putting down everyone who says something you don't agree with.
You come across as a miserable old bint.
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Last resort of those who don't have a decent argument is to descend to personal abuse.

I would rather be anyone than someone who thinks low paid people are only low paid because they can't be bothered to be anything else.
 
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