WWYD.. Lifetime horse..

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RacheeRooRoo

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Basically I am a part time working mother of a gorgeous 18month old little boy and my husband is in the forces. I bought my mare a year ago after selling my two youngsters due to not having the time with a young baby. My mare is a fantastic little horse and really is what I'd call my horse of a lifetime. However I'm finding it incredibly difficult working, being a mother and wife and having the horse. Also finding it hard financially now as due to my working patterns I'm having to pay for her to be brought in or turned out or random full livery days too which all get added onto my end of month bill of course. I really don't know what to do as head and heart say different things and my mare being 15 now I worry about her being passed on and on when really she needs to enjoy herself! I am finding I'm having to work more to pay for the horse which is then having a negative impact on my family as not getting real "quality" time with my husband! Also feel guilty when it is an evening off from work as I then would like to go ride!! It's so frustrating as I feel mentally id go mad without that escape to the yard but then when it's causing me added stress in other aspects I really don't know what to do...
 
TBH I'd be looking for a sharer. There are good ones out there who will pay half of costs, if you can find someone good and reliable then you'd be able to cut down on the full livery days and therefore cut down your own hours.
 
I would definitely get a sharer and do not underestimate how much you need your horse time to keep you sane either.

Lastly your son won't be 18 months for long, so don't be hard on yourself and know it does get easier.
 
I'd say get a sharer.
Even if they don't contribute financially, as long as they look after the horse on their days then it will save you paying for the 'extras', will give you those days with your family and hopefully aid guilt free riding on the other days?
 
I feel your pain, although not exactly the same circumstances, I have two young children, (1 year old and 4 and a half years) - so still pre school. I have 2 horses (luckily one is 8months - so not much hard work with her just yet), other is 22 and so I don't feel too bad leaving him to it, but I really would still like to be schooling and competing and I really want to aff dressage with him before he gets too old lol!

BUT reality is that just now time is limited, I'm working shifts, juggling house and children and horses are DIY. If I could find the perfect sharer then that would be great, but I'm extremely fussy about things and so better not! I have them out pretty much 24/7 unless extreme weather or if I'm doing something with them. Whatever you do or don't do you will always feel a bit guilty. I love to ride and mess about with the horses, but always feel a bit guilty as horses are such a self indulgent pastime! Sometimes I see the others that are riding/competing (no kids or older kids) and I do admit I feel a twinge of "oh I wish I could..." , then I feel horrible for thinking that when I have two such lovely, amazing, wanted children and a fab husband... ..and in a lot of respects am very lucky.

I think your options are to get a sharer and / or try and go as low maintenance (turnout) as much as possible!

It is so difficult but it would be such a shame to get rid then what about 'you' doing 'your' thing. Esp when you have a lovely horse. Let us know how you get on.
 
Sorry forgot to add I've recently got a sharer but for her 3 days is only paying £50 a month (a help I know but I'm still forking out another £250 a month for everything else.) had her advertised for a sharer for ages but had literally no one come view my mare. She's 14.1 but not a child's ride as very forward. Would be fine for a competent teen or adult rider. Also yard I'm on has wonderful facilities down the road from my house! And there isn't many grass livery options available anywhere round here.
 
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If the facilities are that great could you ask your sharer for a little more, £50 is very cheap! I work at a riding school and that would not even get you two lessons a month! If your sharer isn't happy with this reasonably option, the other option is to reduce her days and get a second sharer.

As others have said, grass livery may be an option - I find it's word of mouth and who you know, not often advertised so you may have to do some investigating! I know you said the yard is near your house and has great facilities - but really is there much point if you don't have the time to make use of the facilities and you still have to pay a fair whack for staff to do your horse even though its so close! Grazing will be cheaper and easier as horse lives you only have the worry of haying and watering, which isn't impossible with a child in tow.

The only other thing I can think of is if child care is cheaper than livery - could you move your horse to DIY, do you horse yourself and just pay for some childcare whilst you do your horse?
 
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