WWYD? My horse's best friend going over the Rainbow Bridge tomo

muff747

muff747

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My gelding for some reason has always been very attached to the elderly mare in the next paddock. He goes bananas if she goes out of his sight, even when it's foggy and he can't see her, even though they have never been in the same field.
She's in her late thirties and is suffering now. She rubs herself raw when she's stabled, the vets could never find out what it was. She never lays down, she daren't in case she can't get up and her owners have come to that awful decision to let her go before the winter.
So, it's going to happen in the morning and the owners have very kindly let me know because I wanted to let my gelding see that she's "gone" before she's taken away, hopefully so he can accept that she's gone and won't call for her. She has a field companion and the owners are going to let her see the body too.
Has anyone else done this? Should I let my gelding see her go down or should I wait until she has gone and then take him to see her?
You see I'm not sure if he will start to call her when they take her out of sight to do the deed, that might be distressing for everyone, so should I take him to where he can see her fall and then let him go to her when she's passed over?
Any suggestions would be much appreciated...
 
I have had to do this one.....what worked for us was having them next door to each other when the deed was done, and then I turned the survivor into the other paddock for several hours for him to grieve......
 
Whenever I've had a pony put to sleep, they have been within sight of the others because of the layout of the yard, though I've tried to have the others slightly separate.

With one mare, the gelding who was most attached to her did seem to look to see what was going on (euthanasia by injection), but I could not pick up any signs of stress in him or the others. Whilst he was good friends with her, he was also very much part of the herd, so it wasn't quite your situation.

Sounds like you are doing everything you can to help your horse cope well. I guess it's worth remembering that grieving really is natural.

Beyond that, I've no experience as although I believe that seeing/sniffing the dead horse can help in a close pairbond, I've not done that with any of mine. I definitely would, though, if two of them were very specially pairbonded.

Hope things go calmly and smoothly tomorrow.

Sarah
 
Thank you Alyth and Sarah for your kind thoughts and advice.
It is to be at 10 am tomorrow, not looking forward to it but I respect the owners decision and am grateful they let me know, and that it's happening on my day off work so I can be there for my horse. I hope it's not too traumatic. %:'(
Thanks again
 
I hope today goes as smoothly for all as it can.
If poss, I would advise you to take your lad to see the horse after she has been pts, or even turnout with her for half an hour or so after pts.
The former is usually the best solution. Let him sniff her, he might try to push her with his nose or even a foot - let him - it all helps him understand, tho it can be very distressing for you and also the other horses owner.

Have had to do this twice in the past 18months and it really does help the 1 left behind, when an attachment has been formed - as they do seem to understand and are not just looking at the gate yelling or stressing for hours or days after.

I wish you well x
 
Echo what the others have said, let him see the body, Apache was lovely with my mare when she's gone, and gently sniffed her.

Thinking of all concerned x
 
muff747 said:
My gelding for some reason has always been very attached to the elderly mare in the next paddock. He goes bananas if she goes out of his sight, even when it's foggy and he can't see her, even though they have never been in the same field.
She's in her late thirties and is suffering now. She rubs herself raw when she's stabled, the vets could never find out what it was. She never lays down, she daren't in case she can't get up and her owners have come to that awful decision to let her go before the winter.
So, it's going to happen in the morning and the owners have very kindly let me know because I wanted to let my gelding see that she's "gone" before she's taken away, hopefully so he can accept that she's gone and won't call for her. She has a field companion and the owners are going to let her see the body too.
Has anyone else done this? Should I let my gelding see her go down or should I wait until she has gone and then take him to see her?
You see I'm not sure if he will start to call her when they take her out of sight to do the deed, that might be distressing for everyone, so should I take him to where he can see her fall and then let him go to her when she's passed over?
Any suggestions would be much appreciated...
Click to expand...

I would suggest you let him see her before, then lead him away while she drops, then bring him back to sniff her.

It could be harder for him hearing the gun or her going down.

Its always hard during these times. I hope it goes well for her. :(

Sorry just read the other post, glad it went well and calmly for all those concerned.
 
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Horses, unlike owners, are not sentimental and understand quite well when a horse dies, either ignore or sniff and then get on with it. I have, unfortunately, had to have a foal put down - we injected him at his mother's side, he went down; she sniffed and nuzzled him for a minute or two them moved away grazing until she re-joined the other mares. Never went back to him, never called or appeared to grieve. It is part of nature.
 
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