WWYD need your help!

B

Bonnie*

New User
Joined
13 September 2013
Messages
6
Visit site
Hey everyone, old member - new name. For no other reason than I guess I am finding it hard to admit to myself that Ive failed on this one :(

Ok ill be less dramatic and get to the point.

I bought my gelding last year, he was awesome for the first 6 months, then the spring grass came and he became a bit of a handful. He is huge and young (6), grew about 2-3 inches over the year and put really filled out/muscled up. He is feeling and looking great, but knows it... which has resulted in him truly and utterly taking the piss out of me.

I have always been a confident rider, helping others with horse problems but after a few sore falls from him I am beginning to feel my confidence slowly disappear. I have had horses all my life, have backed and brought on a few youngsters, and dealt with my fair share of issues, but with this I have finally admitted to myself that I'm just not able to continue.

So what does he do? in writing it doesn't sound so bad, and as a rider if I read it I would think " hey whats the problem! man up!" but I get the overwhelming sense of dread at the thought of riding him now, its no longer fun. What he does is spook and tank. He is a bit of a hot head, forward going and looky - which translates to super responsive and flashy! but for me its beginning to make me tense, which of course makes him worse.

At my final lesson with him ( well respected dressage instructor) she advised me to sell him, right after she was picking me up off the ground... She said that he is knocking at my confidence and knows he can get away with it now with me. It almost gave me a sense of relief knowing that I wont have to ride him again, as awful as that sounds.



So herein lies the dilemma! How on earth do I sell him?

He is sell-able, 6 years old, big strong healthy hunter type.

I took him to a local showjumpers yard the other week, in the hope that he may want to buy him to sell on, or have an idea what to do. At the yard the horse behaved impeccably. Never put a hoof wrong. He works in a gorgeous soft outline, really expressive paces, and jumped a sizable oxer, gate and water tray. The Sj questioned what the problem was! Told me to man up, and give the horse the confidence he needs. He also offered a "boot camp" for him.

It felt good knowing that the horse is ok! that it wasn't some hidden pain or issue that the various experts ive had out to him couldn't find. That when he is out of his home stomping ground he is back to being the lovely horse I know he is deep down, but also annoying that it was 100% confirmed that he is utterly taking the piss out of me.


Ok, So it is decided that I am not the right rider for him, and I try to work out my selling options.

Money is not a deciding factor here, in terms that I don't need to sell him in order to buy another, however I don't want two.

Most people suggested taking him back to the dealers he came from. I have been and spoke to the dealers and they are ok to do me a swap, but wont buy him. This an option, however limits my choice of new horse ( and im kinda feeling I want to be so so so sure this time). An added option here would be to swap for a plod cob or such, and sell it then to buy another - probably at a big loss but puts me out of the current situation at least.

I have contacted at a guess around 20 local trainers/traders, and struggling to get replies from any! I guess its very much the wrong time of year to be selling, as the traders want to get rid of stock before the winter.

I could sell him privately, but the person would want to try him, an advert saying " we have an arena but you cant try him" sounds dodgy as hell! My fear would be if anyone tried him at his home yard, he would do the same behavior in the arena that he has learned to do with me ( the spook and tank off). I had a confident rider come out to try him at home, and she couldn't get on! :blue: yet he was a saint at the other yard.

I could take him to the yards of prospective buyers to try, albeit a pain in the ass it was an option. However my YO mentioned that he is unhappy with that idea, as unknown yards may have illness. I can totally see where he is coming from.

My dad has fields, however the fences are terrible and would have to get a companion - there is also no facilities. An option that was suggested was selling him from my dads, which frees up my stable at my current yard for me to find the right horse, and takes my horse out of his stomping ground comfort zone. This could be a throwing good money after bad suggestion, fixing the fences etc.

Sales livery would also be more expensive than its worth, as would be sending him off for more training. The trouble with sending him off for more training is that he would be a saint there, and a big ***** when he comes home again! :rolleyes:

There is profit to be made from him, from someone who knows what they are doing, but how the blooming hell do I find that person!


So dear knowledgeable horse and hounders... What would you do? What options have I missed?

Thank you in advance for your time to read through all of that, and any suggestions you may have :)
 
Last edited:
Hi, I had a young horse that my rider decided they did not suit, so I was stuck with potential 2* eventer with no rider, so I found a young rider with a small yard and she took him on to event, it did cost little more than normal full livery, but she fell for him and bought him. Could you look at something similar.
 
Have been where you're at, its an awful situation so feel your pain.

You could try the "Project Horses" website...... all they ask is that you are honest about the horse and the way he is. You could either offer him for sale, or loan.

Yes, appreciate how despondent you are, but he does sound like a very talented horse and often horses like this have real ability, but way too much enthusiasm!!!

You could always offer him for sale "out of the field"??? in which case its a question of buyer-takes-their-chance.

Or you could advertise him locally as a "winter project".

But my probable first choice would be to (whilst appreciating that it would mean financial loss for you), I'd be inclined to return him to the dealers and ask them to exchange him for something more suitable.
 
I would move him to your dad's for the winter. See what he's like living out. Make an arena out of a well drained spot, enough to keep him ticking over and loan a companion. It sounds to me like the yard that is a problem and not necessarily you. Then reassess in the spring.
 
Just a thought you say he spooks and tanks. my baby did that before i bought her(with a rear) .she was 7 when bought her. By chance 18 months after i bought her i found out she was actually going blind. will never know if thats why she spooked and bolted before bought her as didnt have her vetted but my vet thinks she was losing her sight before. long winded way of saying maybe sight issues?
 
Are you absolutely set on selling him or could you consider moving him to a new yard and seeing if his behaviour changes in a new environment? Just going by what you've said is it possible that something at your present yard it unsettling him and causing him to act out?
 
ROMANY 1959 said:
Hi, I had a young horse that my rider decided they did not suit, so I was stuck with potential 2* eventer with no rider, so I found a young rider with a small yard and she took him on to event, it did cost little more than normal full livery, but she fell for him and bought him. Could you look at something similar.
Click to expand...
How did you find the rider? :)
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
Have been where you're at, its an awful situation so feel your pain.

You could try the "Project Horses" website...... all they ask is that you are honest about the horse and the way he is. You could either offer him for sale, or loan.

Yes, appreciate how despondent you are, but he does sound like a very talented horse and often horses like this have real ability, but way too much enthusiasm!!!

You could always offer him for sale "out of the field"??? in which case its a question of buyer-takes-their-chance.

Or you could advertise him locally as a "winter project".

But my probable first choice would be to (whilst appreciating that it would mean financial loss for you), I'd be inclined to return him to the dealers and ask them to exchange him for something more suitable.
Click to expand...
Thank you, project horses may be an idea :)
and its nice to know im not the only one who has been here! and yes you are right about the talent, thats one of the other reasons I think I continued on for so long, thinking if only I could contain the energy.. then he would be something special :(
Fransurrey said:
I would move him to your dad's for the winter. See what he's like living out. Make an arena out of a well drained spot, enough to keep him ticking over and loan a companion. It sounds to me like the yard that is a problem and not necessarily you. Then reassess in the spring.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the suggestion, there is a flat part on my dads ground, but the issue is the idea of riding him again! even the thought of it fills me with dread :( but yes holding out for the winter then seeing where we are in spring may be an idea.
Patterdale said:
OP, no matter how experienced a rider who are, every now and then a horse comes along who bests you. Not many people admit it though, so kudos on that :)

Where are you based? PM if you'd prefer
Click to expand...
Had to choke back the tears there! sorry I'm just feeling so at a loss as what to do, and feeling like Ive not been good enough to fix it, so your words really mean a lot, thank you.
I am based in central Scotland, not far from Edingburgh and Glasgow.

babymare said:
Just a thought you say he spooks and tanks. my baby did that before i bought her(with a rear) .she was 7 when bought her. By chance 18 months after i bought her i found out she was actually going blind. will never know if thats why she spooked and bolted before bought her as didnt have her vetted but my vet thinks she was losing her sight before. long winded way of saying maybe sight issues?
Click to expand...

Thanks for the suggestion :) he was 5 stage vetted about 10 months ago when I got him and passed with flying colours, the vet has been out and gave him a check up and couldn't find anything. Although she wasn't particularly looking for long at his eyes I guess.

GG2B said:
Are you absolutely set on selling him or could you consider moving him to a new yard and seeing if his behaviour changes in a new environment? Just going by what you've said is it possible that something at your present yard it unsettling him and causing him to act out?
Click to expand...
The trouble for me now is I feel so un easy about riding him. I think I have been my own worst enemy in continuing to soldier on with him, so that now the very idea of riding him again has something inside me shouting NO NO NO! But thank you for the idea :)

I have a feeling that if I did move yard with him, he would be great for a wee while, then it would begin all over again, particularly with me now being nervous on him :( a bit like if he was sent away for training.
 
Sealine said:
Is he like this at home whoever rides him or is it just with you? The reason I ask is that if he is OK for other riders you could find someone to sell him for you from your place. Perhaps you could find someone local to you who offers a service such as this?

http://www.theequestrian.co.uk/blog/training-the-horse/selling-your-horse-the-petros-way/
Click to expand...

I have been the only one who has been able to get on him at my yard :/ I have no idea really how he will be there with another rider, however that's the problem of selling him privately. I just dont know how he would react to someone trying him.

I could get in a pro to ride him I guess, but I dont know how many session it would take, how often he would have to come, how much it would cost.... and if all in the cost of it all would out weigh how much I am asking for him :/

but thank you for the idea and interesting article to read through :)
 
Really feel for you Bonnie. Been there ! Firstly as others have said, it takes guts to say enough and admit you don't gel.

I would bite the bullet and send him on sales / competition livery now. A talented horse will sell. Choose your yard well, and make sure whatever yard you choose takes him out to competitions to get a good record. Good luck
 
Firstly when your sixth sense tells you something listern to it so I am not going to tell you to man up and get on with it.
Firstly he needs to got well enough behaved at home to show himself well.
You need to find a good strong rider to come daily to do this .
He's a fit young horse .
I would keep him alone in a bare small paddock and feed him soaked hay.
No cuddles no fuss the minimum handling needed for good care .
I would lunge him before he's ridden he needs to work until he's tired and wanting to rest then he will be keener to behave like a grown up.
I dont where you live but if it's a hunting area this might be a great market for him where I live there are people who hunt horses for people ( I have someone who helps with mine as I am older and prefer a test pilot until they settle ) try to see if there's anyone local to you autumn hunting four days a week would give more to think about that being an idiot.
Don't despair you are in good shape he sounds a great horse in the right niche but he's going to have to learn to behave at home to sell .
Think it through make a plan and get help with it.
One place I worked my boss bought such a horse it caused chaos the first few days every time I got it was like an ejector seat it well bolsy and full of its self one morning it ejected me into the side of a building while I was in causality the boss sorted it ,she lunged it in a ploughed field to a standstill then it was lead from other horses round and round the tracks for the rest of the day .
The next day I got on and we worked it three times it never looked back in went on to be very sucessful .
I know that sounds shocking but the boss reached the stage where she was happy to lame it but she was not having any one hurt over it one day was all it took.

You should always want to ride your horse someone will feel like that about yours it's just not you get him to a place to find the right person then find your next special horse.
 
Here's a thought - why not just be scrupulously honest in your advert, so that you attract only someone who's capable and prepared to deal with his quirks and straighten him out. He sounds like he'd be a bargain for such a person, so should sell.

If I were looking for something like that (haha - wish I was that talented) I probably would rather 'do it my way', rather than pay extra for the work that you're struggling to find a way to do - if you see what I mean.
 
Asha said:
Really feel for you Bonnie. Been there ! Firstly as others have said, it takes guts to say enough and admit you don't gel.

I would bite the bullet and send him on sales / competition livery now. A talented horse will sell. Choose your yard well, and make sure whatever yard you choose takes him out to competitions to get a good record. Good luck
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply, how much on average do these places cost? I thought it was around £150-£200 a week plu commision on the sale, could make it really not a cost effective option :/
Goldenstar said:
Firstly when your sixth sense tells you something listern to it so I am not going to tell you to man up and get on with it.
Firstly he needs to got well enough behaved at home to show himself well.
You need to find a good strong rider to come daily to do this .
He's a fit young horse .
I would keep him alone in a bare small paddock and feed him soaked hay.
No cuddles no fuss the minimum handling needed for good care .
I would lunge him before he's ridden he needs to work until he's tired and wanting to rest then he will be keener to behave like a grown up.
I dont where you live but if it's a hunting area this might be a great market for him where I live there are people who hunt horses for people ( I have someone who helps with mine as I am older and prefer a test pilot until they settle ) try to see if there's anyone local to you autumn hunting four days a week would give more to think about that being an idiot.
Don't despair you are in good shape he sounds a great horse in the right niche but he's going to have to learn to behave at home to sell .
Think it through make a plan and get help with it.
One place I worked my boss bought such a horse it caused chaos the first few days every time I got it was like an ejector seat it well bolsy and full of its self one morning it ejected me into the side of a building while I was in causality the boss sorted it ,she lunged it in a ploughed field to a standstill then it was lead from other horses round and round the tracks for the rest of the day .
The next day I got on and we worked it three times it never looked back in went on to be very sucessful .
I know that sounds shocking but the boss reached the stage where she was happy to lame it but she was not having any one hurt over it one day was all it took.

You should always want to ride your horse someone will feel like that about yours it's just not you get him to a place to find the right person then find your next special horse.
Click to expand...

Thank you for taking the time to right such a big response :) My only concern with getting another rider in is the old " throwing good money after bad" thing :/ If I am paying a rider to come out every day, pretty soon I will be in negative equity so to speak lol!

I tried the lunging thing, even until he was dripping with sweat and refused to move, but he second I put my foot in the stirrup, he was full of energy again. Sometimes it seems like the lunging almost just warms him up and makes him more energetic!

Yes I think he would make a perfect hunter, he is very typey, bold brave and forward going. I just dont know anyone who hunts or where to start on finding someone who would want him for that job! Are there any websites that lists hunt yards or such like?


pennyturner said:
Here's a thought - why not just be scrupulously honest in your advert, so that you attract only someone who's capable and prepared to deal with his quirks and straighten him out. He sounds like he'd be a bargain for such a person, so should sell.

If I were looking for something like that (haha - wish I was that talented) I probably would rather 'do it my way', rather than pay extra for the work that you're struggling to find a way to do - if you see what I mean.
Click to expand...

Yes that makes sense, thanks :)
 
Bonnie* said:
Thanks for the reply, how much on average do these places cost? I thought it was around £150-£200 a week plu commision on the sale, could make it really not a cost effective option :/


:)
Click to expand...

I suppose it depends on the area, but around me £120-£160/week
 
Check out Calm Healthy Horses website (New Zealand site). My daughter's mare seems to be intolerant to clover so changes into a Psycho pony in Spring and Summer if on clover (but does have the odd good day). Since feeding salt and a forage balancer, she has changed back into the lively but controllable pony, we love! We have also removed any molasses from her feed so she gets fast fibre, salt, forage balancer! We are also getting fields sprayed to get rid of clover! It is definitely worth considering!
 
I bought a talented horse I just didn't get on with - sounds a bit like yours except I knew very quickly he would not be the horse for me he was just too bullish and I didn't wait long enough to end up on the floor. There was nothing wrong with him that a more ballsy rider couldn't cope with.

I put him on sales livery at a dealers which wasn't cheap but I wanted to make sure he got a chance of a good future. After a month on sales livery I ended up swapping for another horse at the dealers - he gave me the option of returning and trying another if it did not work out. I no doubt lost money overall but I ended up with my horse of a life-time :) . Sometimes it is better to just cut your losses and move on quickly, you can soon save the money again but each day you keep him you are losing money anyway and living in limbo until you can get another horse.
 
I have been in the same position as you for the past 18 months, the horse is now on rehab. Yes I will say it was a huge mistake buying her, I have lost a lot of riding time....but I have learnt a huge amount. She is not nasty or dangerous but spooks and is big...so it feels worse that it really is. However this has knocked my confidence with her.
We have looked at many options of what we could do with her.....but I have the oppertunity to now have daily training so will be sticking with her.

The other options we looked at were.
Sell.... Out of the field, with prof rider on site, or away at sales livery.
Loan to a young rider.....very confident with plenty of help for training, and you will get a horse back that will be happier/more confident
Take to a prof for training livery with lessons included!..... Young riders, or less well known prof will be much cheaper......look on bd, bd or Bsja site for people

We were going to take to a young rider for schooling and lessons, but injury has caused set backs........

You need to do what you think is best for you and your horse....it's very hard and I'm sorry you're in this position!
 
amymay said:
Contact the hunt and see if one of the whips needs a horse for half a season and sell him from the hunting field.
Click to expand...

I would agree wholeheartedly with this. Hunting makes a man of horses, especially as a hunt servants horse. Big, talented horse to whom everything comes easy are difficult to ride and do take the mickey out of people (me very much included!) but hunting is hard work for them and it makes them grow up and concentrate. They get tired and realise they are grateful for a chance to stand still when it comes and do as they are asked without using unnecessary energy.

We have all been there, don't feel bad, sometimes horses like that just need a job and to grow up.
 
I would second the hunt suggestion or go down the sales livery route if you can find something suitable in your area. I would be asking round seriously at this stage to see what's about. You don't want to waste any more time and what's the point in flogging yourself by getting back on again? You don't have to prove a point to anyone but it would be nice to think that the hunt or a sales livery might set your boy up for a good home. Not to say yours wasn't I hasten to add!

I really feel for you and understand that confidence is not as solid as we can sometimes think it is. How these jockeys and eventers pick themselves up and crack on again with not a second thought is beyond me!

I have a youngster who is growing into himself and I'm quite aware that this could be me writing this if I'm unlucky. There we go... That's horses. You have to take a punt on a horse at some stage don't you.

I wish you all the best for a newbie that you can crack on with and enjoy.
 
sussexbythesea said:
I bought a talented horse I just didn't get on with - sounds a bit like yours except I knew very quickly he would not be the horse for me he was just too bullish and I didn't wait long enough to end up on the floor. There was nothing wrong with him that a more ballsy rider couldn't cope with.

I put him on sales livery at a dealers which wasn't cheap but I wanted to make sure he got a chance of a good future. After a month on sales livery I ended up swapping for another horse at the dealers - he gave me the option of returning and trying another if it did not work out. I no doubt lost money overall but I ended up with my horse of a life-time :) . Sometimes it is better to just cut your losses and move on quickly, you can soon save the money again but each day you keep him you are losing money anyway and living in limbo until you can get another horse.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the reply :) I will go back again to the original dealers to look at doing a swap, could just be that they have the right one waiting there :)
I have had a look around for sales livery, but cant seem to find any! at least google isn't being very helpful! My concern with this would be though that I would still be paying my currently livery ( as I want to stay there and not lose my box) as well as paying the sales livery on top. The costs could ramp up seriously fast, and as I am not looking for a lot for him, it could be counter productive :/

amymay said:
Contact the hunt and see if one of the whips needs a horse for half a season and sell him from the hunting field.
Click to expand...
Thank you for this new idea :) I dont know anyone locally who hunts, so I have sent an email to the local hunt. I will see if they reply :)
Thats the one stumbling block I seem to be coming up against quite a lot, no one replies to emails! Is it more appropriate in the horsey world to phone?
TandD said:
I have been in the same position as you for the past 18 months, the horse is now on rehab. Yes I will say it was a huge mistake buying her, I have lost a lot of riding time....but I have learnt a huge amount. She is not nasty or dangerous but spooks and is big...so it feels worse that it really is. However this has knocked my confidence with her.
We have looked at many options of what we could do with her.....but I have the oppertunity to now have daily training so will be sticking with her.

The other options we looked at were.
Sell.... Out of the field, with prof rider on site, or away at sales livery.
Loan to a young rider.....very confident with plenty of help for training, and you will get a horse back that will be happier/more confident
Take to a prof for training livery with lessons included!..... Young riders, or less well known prof will be much cheaper......look on bd, bd or Bsja site for people

We were going to take to a young rider for schooling and lessons, but injury has caused set backs........

You need to do what you think is best for you and your horse....it's very hard and I'm sorry you're in this position!
Click to expand...
Sounds so similar to me, I have lost this whole summer with not being able to enjoy riding, but at least I know now in my head and heart this is the right choice.
the part you say
is not nasty or dangerous but spooks and is big...so it feels worse that it really is. However this has knocked my confidence with her.
Click to expand...
I could have wrote myself!
Thank you for the other suggestions, I had thought of the " selling from field" thing, but just think that may put so many people off, when he really is such a great horse to ride, if you are confident enough!
Doormouse said:
I would agree wholeheartedly with this. Hunting makes a man of horses, especially as a hunt servants horse. Big, talented horse to whom everything comes easy are difficult to ride and do take the mickey out of people (me very much included!) but hunting is hard work for them and it makes them grow up and concentrate. They get tired and realise they are grateful for a chance to stand still when it comes and do as they are asked without using unnecessary energy.

We have all been there, don't feel bad, sometimes horses like that just need a job and to grow up.
Click to expand...
Thanks for this :) I really think he would be well suited to hunting, and all that you have said makes perfect sense. Ive contacted the local hunt, will see what they say :)

Turks said:
I would second the hunt suggestion or go down the sales livery route if you can find something suitable in your area. I would be asking round seriously at this stage to see what's about. You don't want to waste any more time and what's the point in flogging yourself by getting back on again? You don't have to prove a point to anyone but it would be nice to think that the hunt or a sales livery might set your boy up for a good home. Not to say yours wasn't I hasten to add!

I really feel for you and understand that confidence is not as solid as we can sometimes think it is. How these jockeys and eventers pick themselves up and crack on again with not a second thought is beyond me!

I have a youngster who is growing into himself and I'm quite aware that this could be me writing this if I'm unlucky. There we go... That's horses. You have to take a punt on a horse at some stage don't you.

I wish you all the best for a newbie that you can crack on with and enjoy.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your well wishes and suggestions, and yes your right about the proving a point part. I guess the hardest part was admitting to myself that I couldn't go on like this.
 
Hey :)

Just wanted to finalise this thread, I never had much luck with dealers, so I eventually sent him on sales livery, where he had found the perfect home. All's well that ends well :)

Thank you for your advice :)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top