WWYD - very odd message from seller?

[Mince Pie]

I disagree with a lot of the advice here. I'd just ignore the texts. You have replied to the first one. End of story.

You know the horse is fine; it's nothing to do with the old owner.

If you reply it could go on and on.

I'm sorry but I disagree The old owner only sold the horse because she couldn't afford him and it sounds like it was a very difficult decision to make. I appreciate that from the OP's POV that this is a random text out of the blue, however having been in the sellers position (luckily got a reprieve) I would be devastated if rumours got back to me that the horse was being neglected/abused, and would really hope that the new owner could send me a little photo to put my mind at rest. I would also hope that someone would tell me that someone who's opinions I trust was stirring 5h1t to get back at someone else. I appreciate that the seller hasn't been as tactful as she could but sometimes some people aren't as blessed in that department as others!

Another different approach! I would call her. If I received a text like that my mind wouldn't rest until I knew what was going on. I'd just ask her why she has become concerned in a friendly way and hopefully you can end up having a good old chin wag about it and get the air all cleared. She might end up telling you who has stirred things up with any luck then you can go and give them a decent bo***cking!

This would be my advice

 

[Twinkley Lights]

Does sound like your ex has stirred the proverbial - in which case sod him it's a short lived advantage and rather sad that he hasn't moved on.

As for the old owner how people actually act and how they like to believe in their head they have acted are sadly often very different. In the end she sold him . You have been polite to respond to the first text but her asking if you see to your horse everyday in winter would ensure she lost my sympathy if I were you it's disrespectful. I would not reply and let it wither, she didn't keep contact for 5 years and the novelty of her self image as this horses saviour will most probably not result in any practical action on her part.

It's a shame she was forced to sell him and for the reasons stated but that's it end of. He is lucky to have found you and to be pampered by your parents enjoying his life.

 

[lucindakay]

i am on the fence with this one she may have been told all sorts and it may have given her cause to worry, yes its a bit late but whats the harm in putting her mind at rest by telling her he is semi retired and living at your parents so he is cared for by themas his work load reduces?

this... i had something quite similar recently and i told them the truth because sometimes i do wonder what my previous horses are up to and it is nice to hear they're happy

 

[Equilibrium Ireland]

Ok that's a little OTT.

However, how bout this scenario. Because this is becoming more frequent. Horse is found in horrible state. Gets picked up by rescue. Cue Facebook. Old owner pipes up I sold him to a lovely girl 7 years ago who promised to look after him forever. Guess who gets the grilling and stupid comments. Old owner. Yup milled for selling a horse. Even worse if you bred and sold one. OMG, that is 10 times worse. As a breeder you need a homeland security check on future buyers. You need to be prepared to buy horse back for any amount at any time no matter how badly ruined by other owners. And when he's used up and old be prepared for him to be dumped on you as well because you bred him. But yet if you do enquire about said horse at any time the horse is well you are a nutjob.

So yes while its OTT what this seller has done. Remember when things go wrong who gets the blame here all the time. Breeder and sellers. ALWAYS!

Terri

 

[Natch]

I utteted something unsavory at the screen when I read that second text, blooming cheek!

I do see the points others have made though, and would probably reply saying "Yes P is still much loved, wanted and well cared for. Perhaps you could pass that on to whoever has given you cause for concern that he isn't, and do send my best regards to (ex's name) next time you see him. "

 

[Patterdale]

I'd ring and have a friendly chat, put their mind at rest and then ignore any further communication.

 

[mandwhy]

Definitely stirring going on! I think she is just trying to be nice and offer help if you need it because she cares about the horse. You could leave it as you have replied and it is none of her business now, but personally I don't feel so pushed for time that I can't be open to putting someone's mind at rest. Just because you gain nothing from a conversation doesn't mean it is pointless. I would probably ask if there was something she was concerned about and that the horse is as loved and wanted as it ever was, happy in semi retirement, with a picture for good measure. For the cost of a picture message and 5 minutes of your time (other than potentially finding out what your ex has said) I would try to put her at ease just because why not!

 

[oldyork]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about it and in the end, I sent the seller an email with some recent photos explaining that the horse is much loved and well cared for. I've got nothing to hide - the horse looks absolutely great for his age and I'd be happy for the seller to come and visit so I said so - and hopefully it will stop any idle local gossip now that I've put the record straight.

 

[Twinkley Lights]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about it and in the end, I sent the seller an email with some recent photos explaining that the horse is much loved and well cared for. I've got nothing to hide - the horse looks absolutely great for his age and I'd be happy for the seller to come and visit so I said so - and hopefully it will stop any idle local gossip now that I've put the record straight.

You are such a good person , far better than your ex

 

[WelshD]

I think that was a wise move

None of us can see around the corner and there may come a time when you badly need to rehome the horse and having someone in his part who cares about him may matter greatly

 

[Spring Feather]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about it and in the end, I sent the seller an email with some recent photos explaining that the horse is much loved and well cared for. I've got nothing to hide - the horse looks absolutely great for his age and I'd be happy for the seller to come and visit so I said so - and hopefully it will stop any idle local gossip now that I've put the record straight.

Very nice. That's what I would have done too just to set his mind at rest.

 

[Honey08]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about it and in the end, I sent the seller an email with some recent photos explaining that the horse is much loved and well cared for. I've got nothing to hide - the horse looks absolutely great for his age and I'd be happy for the seller to come and visit so I said so - and hopefully it will stop any idle local gossip now that I've put the record straight.

Perfect. Nobody has to indulge an old owner, its not their horse anymore, but it does niggle to think that a horse you loved but sold may not be doing so well, so I can understand why the previous owner is asking questions (as politely as you can ask them!). However it is nice if you can let an old owner have the occasional photo and bit of news, it makes the day for someone who once loved the horse that you do..

 

[Maesfen]

Ok that's a little OTT.

However, how bout this scenario. Because this is becoming more frequent. Horse is found in horrible state. Gets picked up by rescue. Cue Facebook. Old owner pipes up I sold him to a lovely girl 7 years ago who promised to look after him forever. Guess who gets the grilling and stupid comments. Old owner. Yup milled for selling a horse. Even worse if you bred and sold one. OMG, that is 10 times worse. As a breeder you need a homeland security check on future buyers. You need to be prepared to buy horse back for any amount at any time no matter how badly ruined by other owners. And when he's used up and old be prepared for him to be dumped on you as well because you bred him. But yet if you do enquire about said horse at any time the horse is well you are a nutjob.

So yes while its OTT what this seller has done. Remember when things go wrong who gets the blame here all the time. Breeder and sellers. ALWAYS!

Terri

Couldn't agree more with this especially as a small breeder. The door is always open here for any of mine and I would be (and was) horrified if one of them ended up on queer street. A yearling I sold to a lovely girl on Anglesey; had glowing reports of what she was up to for a couple of years then went quiet; then a few years later one day phone comes from someone near Derby to say mare was ridden to the dealer's yard where she's a livery and sold for a pittance because they couldn't keep her any longer, mare was in a pitiful state, almost a rescue; before I could scrape the money together the next day to get her back someone else stepped in and bought her; I was gutted. But the good news was within a day the new owners were in touch to find out more about her; they still have her and she is a much loved member of their family let alone doing them very proud showing wise including side saddle championships; I have a card and a picture from them every year and they know the yard gate is always open for her - and any others I have bred.

So contrary to some of you, I can understand the old owner's attitude very well even after seven years and can well imagine their horror when the ex started stirring against you; petty little man. Glad you've got it sorted now, OP.

 

[Goldenstar]

Thanks for all the replies. I've thought about it and in the end, I sent the seller an email with some recent photos explaining that the horse is much loved and well cared for. I've got nothing to hide - the horse looks absolutely great for his age and I'd be happy for the seller to come and visit so I said so - and hopefully it will stop any idle local gossip now that I've put the record straight.

That's a very nice thing to take the time to do.

 

[Queenbee]

I wouldn't be offended by her enquiry, she's being very dipolmatic and obviously cares about the horse.
Sounds like she's heard some worrying news from someone trying to cause trouble and she's trying to do her best for the horse. I would be very annoyed about the gossip monger, who not only, is being malicious to you, but has unnecessarily worried her.

If I heard that one of my former horses needed help, I'd do exactly the same.

Be nice, put her mind at rest and reassure her that all is well. If all horses had former owners like her, fewer horses would end up being neglected.

Hmm, diplomatic up to a point, but pretty darn rude asking op if 7 years after selling ned she checks on him everyday in the winter... Quite frankly none of sellers beeswax and would get my back up.

However op, not as bad as my seller demanding I sell ebony to them for breeding when they already had 30 odd horses and no grazing. I had struggled financially for a few months but never even to the extent that I'd consider selling ebs or that ebs care suffered and she literally had a go at me months after id sorted everything out for not calling her and offering her back. I had to politely explain that if ebs were ever sold which she wouldn't it would not be to them as ebs benefited from a different lifestyle now.

There is a fine line between caring and behaving like you have a right over any horse you have sold. It gets my back up when sellers overstep this line.