WWYD- Yard choice

[BlackIrishBeauty]

Hi,

Wondered what you lovely people would do on this situation?

I've been on livery out of choice for around 5 years- I own my own yard with 2 stables and field but found it lonely so decided to go back on livery.

However, I've established that I either cannot get full year turn out or on those that do, the owner thinks it's acceptable to scream and shout/ bully me simply because I disagreed with something that they said.

I'm contemplating going back to my own place but it will literally just be me there. I am quite sociable and don't want to lose this really.

So... Would you rather be on livery and put up with the behaviour that you don't agree with OR have your own place?

 

[Abacus]

How many horses do you have and do you have room at home for a friend with their horse to give you some company? Have you met anyone at the yard that you would like to share your yard with?

I wouldn’t stay somewhere to be bullied or feel uncomfortable. I’d move, either to another yard or home.

 

[chaps89]

Would an option be to take on a livery at your own yard for some company?
You’d need to be upfront that part of the reason is for having some company though, so you don’t end up with someone who keeps themself to themselves!

Personally I love having my own little space to do what I want, but then I’m not that sociable!

Do you have transport? If so could you move to your own place and box out to meet people for hacks, clinics etc and get your social fix that way?

 

[Deleted member 163966]

In your situation, I would look round for another livery yard where you are more comfortable. I agree with you that the social aspects of being on a "good" yard are hugely valuable. I would hate to be alone in my own place (not going to happen!!) and would miss the daily interactions with my livery pals, but I'm on a nice yard where everyone gets along with each other, managed by a sane and sensible person who doesn't upset the liveries.

 

[MuddyMonster]

Would your current yard still work if you just smiled & nodded rather than actively disagreed with the YOYOor is that not possible.

Otherwise, if you have your own yard I'd move back and you can always keep your eye open for another livery option.

 

[BlackIrishBeauty]

Usually this would be my approach- but there were a number of things that happened that I fundamentally disagree with- spinning the reality to make the YO look like a victim, screaming at me for an hour constant with me in my stable saying just stop shouting and the final bit which i just can't move past was them attempting to put my horse on the road. I must add that this was pure rage from their side simply because I asked to be told something directly instead of through a third party.

In terms of my own yard- I have my mare and my little pony, I do have use of tranposrt (not my own) so can go out (I'm in the process of buying my own box) and I do have an equestrian centre 10 minutes ride away so can still have my lessons. I don't tend to hack out alot with other people (I like my peace and quiet) but it's more only seeing my partner and mum as I'm quite chatty haha.

I must also add that I'm getting fairly busy with my work and was looking at options of full livery before this happened- It will be fine for help if I moved back home as my mum helps too and she would live out rather than have to come in at night etc.

 

[BlackIrishBeauty]

To be honest- I think I've made my mind up and I just needed some validation

I'm hugely disappointed inwhat happened and I'm now being made out to be in the wrong when the reaction was completely unjustified. Outside of that, I don't agree with bringing horse welfare into the situation regardless of their reasoning and have lost all respect because of that.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

As someone else has said would you be ok with someone moving onto your yard with you? I feel that a lot of yard owners bully liveries because livery places are harder to find that ever at the moment with them being sold to developers. You should never be bullied, it's totally unacceptable but they days of voting with your feet & leaving is difficult to do. If the situation you are in continues and it's getting too difficult for you to stay there consider leaving & take a friendly livery with you? Having your mum t help you at home is dood but if you had another livery there would help with bills & the livery could help you with managing your horses as well.

 

[jnb]

Ugh, I hate yards (and most people tbh )and it would be no brainer for me - I'd have packed my horses up there and then and gone home on the day of the screaming incident, who TF does the YM think they are ? Verbal assault is NOT OK.
And she could whistle for the notice period money tbh too - by verbally assaulting you and bullying you she's waived the right to any of that. Luckily for you, you do have somewhere to go. I'd be making sure any potential liveries know how they will be treated too.

 

[BlackIrishBeauty]

Ugh, I hate yards (and most people tbh )and it would be no brainer for me - I'd have packed my horses up there and then and gone home on the day of the screaming incident, who TF does the YM think they are ? Verbal assault is NOT OK.
And she could whistle for the notice period money tbh too - by verbally assaulting you and bullying you she's waived the right to any of that. Luckily for you, you do have somewhere to go. I'd be making sure any potential liveries know how they will be treated too.

I really was tempted but at that moment, it was more about appeasing the situation to ensure the safety of my mare. I'm really unhappy with the aftermath too, the YM is justifying her actions by saying I had an attitude (I really didn't- I simply asked a question that she didn't like) and is now saying she felt intimidated when it was me being screamed at cornered in my stable. They have just scewed reality and I'm fed up of arguing with stupid. I was just concerned I suppose about being lonely. I may see how I get on first on my own.

 

[BlackIrishBeauty]

As someone else has said would you be ok with someone moving onto your yard with you? I feel that a lot of yard owners bully liveries because livery places are harder to find that ever at the moment with them being sold to developers. You should never be bullied, it's totally unacceptable but they days of voting with your feet & leaving is difficult to do. If the situation you are in continues and it's getting too difficult for you to stay there consider leaving & take a friendly livery with you? Having your mum t help you at home is dood but if you had another livery there would help with bills & the livery could help you with managing your horses as well.

THIS- I completely agree with this.

 

[Fjord]

Could you get a sharer for your little pony, so you had someone to chat to a couple of days a week? I'd definitely rather be at home that have a YO go mad at me like that.

 

[ester]

I’d rather be lonely than stressed out by other people.

 

[Surbie]

I’d rather be lonely than stressed out by other people.

Me too.

 

[Zoeypxo]

The YO tried to put your horse on the road??? Move !!

 

[Green Bean]

When people put the blame on you by being aggressive towards you it is never going to end well, no matter how long you try and stick it out / keep your head down. There will always be confrontation for confrontation's sake. Just move along, even if you go back to your own yard while you look for another livery yard.
It is difficult looking for livery yards, I know, I have looked at a LOT in the last few years. Every one will have a compromise, but the people aspect is pretty critical as well as your non-negotiable list. No issue with compromise, but people / YM / YO are the critical elements that make it work or not. Just keep looking, you will find something eventually, but definitely take your horse out of the situation you find yourself in now, for you and your horse's sake

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

I've been both Poacher and Gamekeeper in my time, i.e. been on a yard as a livery AND been a YO (currently am YO right now, have been for last 30yrs) and bloomin' heck I know which situation I'd rather be in!

I don't know how much land you have at "your" place, but I'd certainly be considering a livery if you reasonably can do so; but I will say this, IF you live on site as I do then be very VERY picky indeed about who you have at your place because if you get a wrong-'un you'll regret it. That said, there are some lovely liveries out there and you might just be lucky and find someone with your own equine interests; I think it would certainly be worth a punt.

Why be unhappy - and why pay silly livery fees?? Plus have to suck-up to a YO who you do not have much liking for, doesn't make sense.

 

[saddlesore]

Wow! I definitely wouldn’t be staying put. However I wouldn’t want to be on my own either, I’d look around for somewhere else. If you’re considering full livery then you could maybe cast your net a bit wider in terms of travel time. There are great yards out there ☺

 

[9tails]

There's no coming back from the YO's actions. She will no doubt poison your reputation on that yard and you will find yourself more lonely than if you were alone.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

In the past I would have sold a kidney to have my own place but having been away from the main yard all last summer on a small track which was entirely my choice I have loved being back on the yard all winter. I’m not particularly sociable but it’s nice to have some company and the horses have enjoyed being back with their field mates. Company is important, you just have to make sure it’s the right type.

 

[Goldenstar]

Get yourself home as quick as you can .
Then with time on your side you can look for another yard or a friend to be at your yard for companionship and to Help each other out .