Yard Bitchiness

Anuka

Anuka

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20 April 2010
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It's hilarious! The things some people say and do to each other is quite pathetic. The current thing happening on our yard is someone moving peoples bits and bobs and planting them in other peoples stuff :/ Things like that don't really bother me, but it's the name calling, tale telling and general nastiness that really winds me up! :mad: Is there such a thing as a bitch free yard where everyone gets along?
 
I think our yard is pretty good. The odd thing goes missing (usually feed and whips!), there's hardly any real bitching, more moaning about the standard of the yard!
 
The thing i hate is people thinking there big know it alls and think there always right when infact there far from it!! Example this person feeds her pony buckets upon buckets of performance mix and honestly believes it will not put weight on the pony haha even though it already has!!! ... Also people who lie ... example "my horse is a hermafadite" (sp) no its not love its a mare :p You just have to laugh otherwise id scream lol
 
None on my yard, cos there's only me... except when I p*** myself off. Gets a bit silly then...... :D
 
You will never ever ever find a yard that is free from bitching! EVER!

Our yard is ok never too much drama but you can guarrantee that someone out of the 40 odd people on our yard, one of them will be having a dig at you. Infact i have witnessed many a times someone saying how well someones horse is going, how beautiful it is, how well they ride etc...and then walking across the yard and having a good ole bitch about them. A lady on our yard was telling my daughters friend...err acquaintance..how good a rider she was after she had had a lesson with daughters trainer...then turned round and started to tell my daughter that the girl was a **** rider and my daughter was much better than her!

However i think we are all guilty of having a bitch/being 2 faced at some point. My daughter deffinatley has girls on the yard who she dislikes and has 'unspoken rivalry' with (few of them compete in dressage like her and always want to kick eachothers ass at competitions!) but she is still nice to them even if she hates them. This could be called being two faced, couldnt it?

Anyway, i have written an essay indeed!
 
The yard im on we all get along fine, go to shows together, support each other and help each other out if needed, there is not many of us just mum and I, the lady who runs the yard and her daughter and another lady and her two daughters.
A lady did move onto the yard who caused tension and would stir things up and tried to get others to leave, she was asked to move off the yard and things went back to normal :)
 
errrr, let me think. erm, no!

Every yard is the same. Everyone has their own way of doing things and woah betide anyone who does anything different! My yard has a ring leader and little tag alongers. I hear it all as I am stabled in the middle, they forget I have ears whilst in my stable mucking out! They are the first to point out your wrongs, but they will always say they did well at competitions even though your mate that was there tells you they fell off doing dressage!

Thankfully I keep myself to myself and am only friendly with two people. Said ring leader loves to criticise first time horse owners. Thankfully I am not and have mentioned advanced dressage moves and the aids and I am currently training a baby and doing well *touches wood* so I therefore have made her feel small (inadvertantly), so I dont get talked to. Fine by me!

I just come up when nobody is there. Me and the first time horse owners are there at 6pm and it is quiet and lovely!

Im sure people bitch about me, but I just dont care. :)
 
I must admit most yards do seem to have bitchyness,but whats new?lol.I have had my fair deal in the past and learnt from it,i have also sworn that i will never go to a big livery yard enviroment again as i now enjoy the peace and quiet at my very close friends yard were its only mine and her horses,beauty of it is we both have the same ambitions and we are both totally motivated so we are good for each other,its nice to hear yourself think every once in a while thats what i say,theres a lovely atmosphere were i am now and i think its easier because its a friend and only a few horses to a good lump of land and stables,i love it as i can go about my own business and not listening to the bickering next door,so i think i have definetly made the right choice.Me and my friend said if we ever have to move from said yard we will go for something very similar to what we have got now without any extra liverys as life is easier with just us two.So basically what i am saying is no i definetly would not go back to a livery yard i would rather rent with someone i know as theres no hassle.Sorry about the essay.xx
 
Yes! My yard is fab, no bitchiness...........we've never ever had anything strange go on! And I'm not just saying this as I'm the YO, you could ask any livery and they'd say the same. Everyone gets along. Sure a few liveries don't see eye to eye but they just keep ot of each others way. The worst thing I get is liveries not picking out their horses' feet when they're supposed to :p
 
Yes there is..Ours :) We even have it written in the contract that it wont be tolerated and we are pretty tough on it aswell!!You get your warnings and if it continues you are asked to leave!
Everybody on the yard is there for the same purpose...to enjoy their horse,and most have left another yard due to the bitching reasons,which is why we jump on them when they start as we pride ourselves on the fact it wont be tolerated!
YES we all have a moan about each other now and again,only human...eg;so and so hasnt done their share of whatever....But if it develops into more than that it is dealt with :)
We go to shows together,hack out together,party nights etc :D...ok we are not a huge concern 12 liveries,but it is enough to be a problem if it was allowed to be!
 
I think it's pretty near impossible. My old yard was superficially very good- we all got along and went to shows together. However as it turned out only one of the people there actually liked me, the rest just chose to b**** about me behind my back and insulting my every decision regarding the care of my horse. There were only 2 main adult women on the yard who formed a sort of clique and nothing I did was ever passed by without criticism. My pony was fat and I put him on a diet, he then lost a good amount of weight and looked great, but obviously it wasn't right and they thought that he was far too thin and weren't afraid to share it. My stuff always went missing and was often lost or broken. I don't have any of those problems now though because I have mine at home so although it does sometimes get lonely I find it better than being at that yard.
 
Isn't every 'community' bitchy to some extent though?

Wherever you get a group of people together you are going to get it. Someone will always be bigger, better, prettier, richer, whatever, human nature.

I do wonder if (because yards are generally female rich) whether groups of men bitch too or is it a female thing?

Any workplace, and the rails of a showring - jeez, have you ever listened to the cattiness there?!;) ...and, for me, the ultimate horror, Mother and Toddler groups! Miaow! When I was nannying I had to take the children there and we nannies were completely ignored - so we had our own clique
 
yep, our yard is totally bitch free. everyone is absolouly lovely. Facilities arent fab, but the people make up for it :)

Real change from our last two yards - nothing awful, but some of the women had terrible mood swings, and were just horribe to be around at times - turned into right c*ws!
 
enfys said:
Isn't every 'community' bitchy to some extent though?

Wherever you get a group of people together you are going to get it. Someone will always be bigger, better, prettier, richer, whatever, human nature.

I do wonder if (because yards are generally female rich) whether groups of men bitch too or is it a female thing?

Any workplace, and the rails of a showring - jeez, have you ever listened to the cattiness there?!;) ...and, for me, the ultimate horror, Mother and Toddler groups! Miaow! When I was nannying I had to take the children there and we nannies were completely ignored - so we had our own clique
Click to expand...

Lol...I stay well away from the childrens parents Mum's,they bring a whole new meaning to biatchfest:D especially in the playground,lol!
I did ask my hubby about the man bitch thing and he said,most blokes will have it out with each other,you only get the odd one that behaves like a woman,lmao:D
 
And to add,most people that bitch about people havnt got the balls to say to whoever it is they are bitching about to their face??That gets my goat,if you havnt the balls to confront somebody or cower in a corner when they confront you for bitching about them..DONT do it,lol!!
 
We are lucky in that we are on a small yard, owned by good friends, with just us and our thirteen and a couple who have 4 (Poodle20 from on here). We get on ok and chat when we have time but usually are too busy or are there at different times. My OH ran a yard of up to 20, with his ex wife, for 25 years and constantly talks about how horrible it was, with bitching, moaning and complaining about everything and everyone, and he would never run one again. He said that it had to be tolerated to keep clients but thinks horsey women are the bitchiest on the earth!! I would never have tolerated it, I would have been a real dragon I think and quickly got rid of any trouble makers. It makes me laugh how people think that when they bitch the comments don't ALWAYS get repeated to the person they have bitched about. I learnt as a teenager (many years ago now) that bitching doesn't pay and you should never say anything about people that you wouldn't say to their face so it amazes me that people think they can get away with it. I would much rather speak to someone and deal with any problems than bitch about it behind their back! When comments are then repeated it causes so much ill feeling and that can be difficult to get over.

Our YO doesn't tolerate any bitching or trouble making and in the past has asked people to leave for that reason. I suppose we are fortunate in that she has been in the business a long time and has seen and heard it all and so knows when she is being 'strung a line'.

OP,It sometimes only takes one to make the whole atmosphere bad and the moving stuff around and planting it elsewhere can cause awful trouble between people, we had that in the past (at OH's yard) with 'burglaries' where only one person had nothing stolen and others things were found in with theirs later. We were driven out of there but I will never allow that to happen again and will always fight my corner in future
 
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When I first moved on to my current yard there were 4 liveries. Only one was a total cow bag!! She would leave notes asking for her horse to be brought in, put out etc, would never ask anyone face to face. Also she didn't, still doesn't work so eventually it was a case of telling her to do it herself!! Eventually the YO got fed up with her a threw her off. When she moved and the new yard asked why she had moved she said she fancied a change!! Anyway she didn't last long and has moved again back near us but thankfully not that close! Now its just me and on other and its so relaxed its fab!!
 
I'm a sensitive soul, and I'm soooooooooo happy to be on a totally bitch-free private yard. No more comments about how I shouldn't pamper the boy cos he's "only" a native, that I'll ruin him by putting a rug on (last winter !), that his bed's too deep, blah,blah,blah.

Urgh - just leave me and the boy to it, we're both very happy thankyou ! sm x
 
I'm too lazy to get involved in the bitching :p I find conversation with most people on the yard hard work & rather pointless - if they aren't bitching, they're either bragging on whining about something!
If I have an issue, I'd rather say it to the person/people involved.
Someone always has to moan about something though on a livery yard! :p
 
from personal experience bitchyness tends to be the results of the green eyed monster, i have even seen a coven of adult women turn on a 15 yr because she was wining, it even got to a point of feeding the pony behind they back, go figure

but my favorite has got to be seeing a so called friend look after someone elses horse for them and try and teach the horse to refuse by riding up to a jump stopping it in front and then feeding a titbit

there is nowt as weird as folk :) :(
 
\i've been on the same yard for 30 years. Over this time it has got smaller and smaller now there are 3 and half horses on yard, one is my mare another belongs toa friend the half (shetland) is the yard owners and the other belongs to yo step daughter. No bitching do each others horses as and when necessary and will even skip out unasked. Perfect.
 
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