Yard Bullies

Mine wasn't on a livery yard but at the riding stables I worked at in return for free lessons with my (very) green mare. The girl used to slag off my mare to her friend that came with her and generally made the time she was there uncomfortable for me, then she'd come into school in the week and proceed to tell everybody what a useless rider I was and how I couldn't control my horse (my father who had ridden anything and everything for 40 years even gave up on her because he said she was too unpredictable - I perservered because I loved her and the good times made up for the bad times!). She had me in tears several times in front of my classmates doing ridiculous impressions of me (I used to talk to Smokey a lot when we rode because I thought it helped to keep her calm). I couldn't really stand up to the girl at the time because I was the nerdy, horsey girl that didn't have a huge number of friends.

Fast forward five years and I started working part time for a guy with racehorses, riding out etc and helping at the races (was actually 'headhunted' by him as he knew my mare from her racing days and had heard that I'd actually managed to control her), and I rock up to the races and see said bully helping a rival trainer. I've now worked for the guy for five years, she lasted only three weeks as after being thrown off one day riding she gave up and never went back. What goes around comes around!
 
Eugh, I've had to deal with yard bullies.

I've had people just try and push me around, give me the worst field, talk about me behind my back, say nasty things about me and my horse. One yard was so bad I had to leave as they would reduce me to tears ( screaming at me and accusing me of stealing a bit of rubber matting which wasn't true), one girl even physically pushed me and she would sneer, say nasty comments and then laugh.
More recently a so called friend turned into a bully, saying horrible things about my horse, trying to order me about and belittle me.

They were just all jealous basically and probably had problems of their own that turned them bitter. Who knows. Luckily I have also met some amazing friends at my yards, one is my best mate so it evens itself out :).
 
what I find so interesting about bullies and nasty people in general is that they seem to be totally oblivious to the fact that they ARE bullies and thoroughly nasty people.:mad:
The yard that I am currently on is generally a nice yard minus a few extremely unpleasant characters who seem to make it their life's ambition to cause as much unpleasantness and s**t stirring as they possibly can! It`s a shame they no longer burn witches at the stake! lol!
thankfully, two have left but sadly two are still here.:(
any suggestions on how to get rid would be gratefully received!!!!:rolleyes:
 
Many years ago on a yard I helped out at, there was a woman who wasn't so much a bully but thought she knew everything. She used to think she was the yard expert, and was always sticking her nose into everyone else's business. She also thought she was the best rider ever, but was very rough with the horses. She got on this pony one day, who was fantastic but very naughty. Couldn't get him to go out the yard so started whacking him with her schooling whip. He put in an almighty buck, and threw her straight onto the muckheap! Funniest thing I have ever seen!
 
When I 12 i got my first pony on loan from the RS I helped at. Sparky was a 13.2hh pocket rocket. He'd been very badly treated in the past but I understood him and we got on very well. He was scarred and a bit wonky looking but he was my first pony and I adored him. I started competing him and we were doing really well. He got to JA within 18 months. The YO's daughter had pretensions to being a "showjumper" and having got through 4 extremely expensive ponies that she couldn't ride one side of I became the focus of her jealousy. She literally made my life hell. Side comments, not allowing any of the other kids who helped at the yard to talk to me, hiding my stuff, it went on and on. The final straw came when I was selected to ride for Team GBR (juniors obviously!) I brought up my jacket flag to show everyone because I was so excited. She cut it up with a pair of scissors and we left the yard three days later. Fast forward 18 years and I will never allow anyone to make me feel like that again. I am a TA soldier and a mother. My time with my horses is too precious to me and I will not allow anyone to ruin it for me. I've luckily found a yard where it never happens. I've been there two and a half years now and the YO removed three people over that time for causing problems. She does a thorough investigation and the guilty party is asked to leave. Including a teenager who wrote abusive messages on another teenagers shavings bags with a permanent marker!! Guilty party had 7 days notice and they were gone.
 
I'm looking too move mine cause of all the bitchyness. I've overheard the staff bitching about horses when the owners aren't there, or if you say something then chances are they'll run and tell staff /YO.
One lady on the yard says I should put my horse out on loan to a retirement home ( he's had his problems), and I overheard her saying I should have him shot!!
The yard owner isn't much better. She's forever shouting at liveries, if your horse needs small paddock turnout... Good luck! It's not a nice place to be and I'm looking at a much nicer yard this evening.
My horse got kicked by the field bully and required stitches. This horse has caused significant damage before, yet YO wouldn't take him out of the field until this incident. He's since left the yard.
I could go on and on but won't incase she gets wind of it ( she knows everything about everyone).
 
A woman on my last yard thought she knew everything, although very novice and came back to horses later in life. She would go round and talk behind everyone's back, say that a horse had ringworm when it didn't (she took her youngster to a show when it had several obvious rings!). She told everyone I had lost my confidence (thanks! Really helpful! :rolleyes:) then went to the YO and told him loads of nonsense abut me and got me thrown off.

A real charmer, especially when she had spent evening after evening at my house getting help and advice with her son's problems with the police, drinking my booze, never letting me have a night off her issues!
 
look how vile people are to animals, so it cant be surprising that they can be just as evil to their own kind, I am happy to sort out a few bullies, just give me their telephone number job done.

The worst part about bullying in a yard or work place is the fact that sadly 9/10 cases you will not be backed up by others and will be on your own and if it does turn foul it can be nerve racking unless you have somewhere else to go because it isnt just you, it is your horse that you need to find somewhere for to.

Expose the bully is my motto, they usually back off and their starving band of followers sculk away too, can you just picture it, makes me wanna laugh
 
Everytime I read on here about yard bullies I sympathise entirely, you hear so many horror stories and its not just kids, its adults bullying other adults and its appalling behaviour. In my personal experience I've found the biggest bully on most yards to be the yard owner !!!

I've left quite a few yards because of a bad atmosphere, not necessarily bullying but people trying to tell you what to do all the time and critising how you look after your horses, especially by younger and less experienced people, I admit I am not the easiest person to share a yard with, I have very high standards having worked as a professional groom on top yards, worked hard to earn qualifications and most certainly OCD where tidiness is concerned and I'm not proud of the fact I've changed yards so much, but this is a hobby and an escape from everyday life and it should be a pleasure, I've been on yards where I've felt sick to the pit of my stomach at the very thought of being there, thankfully after 20 years I finally got to keep my horses at home, but I've found myself with a self opinionated neighbour whose sarcastic and critical comments have really upset me and I've found the whole situation very depressing but I'm painfully learning to rise above it as this time I cant runaway, there are so many people in the horse world that think that their ways are better than yours and the only solution is to be strong and ignore them, eventually they'll get bored and go away with any luck !!
 
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You are right too many YO's have a little click with some of their liveries and believe in the nonsense theory that their click will inform them before something gets stolen as if they are the yard police, instead it just causes so much sadness and unhappiness for all concerned and YO's will sit back one day when they have grown up and think about it all and probably feel very quilty.
 
I have kept horses and ponies for over 50 years and am the first to admit you never stop learning but over the last few years I have noticed a growing trend in horse people. That trend is for a lot of so called horse owners to keep their animals badly or at the very least in a casual, irresponsible manner and then, to add insult to injury, consider themselves to be 'experts' and hand out all sorts of useless advice. Deep down they are probably aware they can't really ride, don't put their horse first and have no natural ability.

There will always be bullies in life and they are always the people from the bottom of life's pile. Sometimes a good dose of revenge works well. It pulls them up with a start and can certainly make their victim feel better. They base their triumps on your fear, however they are generally women with low self esteem and much more important lowish intelligence.

NEVER take what they do to you lying down - there is always a way to sort them out, especially if you know where they live! Just use your imagination and have some fun at their expense but don't do the obvious things like running to other people or using Facebook. They have declared war on you so fight back, even if you have to move your horse first. The problem with bullies is that they get worse and more dangerous if they are not given a short sharp shock.

Years ago, before we were married, my husband kept his horse in livery. There was a really unpleasant spoilt girl on the yard that everyone was fed up with but the opportunity for sweet revenge and some amusement came when Daddy bought her a smart new car. While she was out riding all the other liveries pushedd it across the car park buried it in the manure heap so that it was completely hidden. When she did find it a couple of days later she was so shocked that she took more of a back seat at the yard and left everyone pretty well alone. Get the idea? OK so I'm not politically correct but I'm too old to care. Life's too short to let other people run it for you!
 
Not bullying as such but the first yard we were on, the YO was so in awe of the pony clubbers, no one else's opinions mattered, the "show pony" had jumping talent but no control, it was a case of point it at a jump, hold it back then let it go, the YO made life so difficult for other liveries, accomodating the pony clubbers, everyone left.
My lad mounted a mare and cut her badly, the YO wouldn't seperate the sexes, so we moved and lost our home and stables, we now have the horses at home and don't answer to anyone.
If I see bullying anywhere I won't tolerate it, life is too short to be witness someone being miserable
 
horse heaven, have you ever thought that you may be the problem ?? if you have got 2 ppl to leave and still want another 2 ppl to go ??? sounds like you have the issues with them and not them with you ???
 
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